#weird lesbians

[butchlicker]

I want a weird butch whos introverted and kind of a bitch but not to me because im a super special princess 😇

[lyriumjellyfish]

Peek weird lesbian moments in the Walmart...

I pulled a German Shepard Squishmallow from the bin and held it up for my wife to see. So far, normal. We do this with every bin because she collects Squishmallows. She coos at it and goes "0.0! It's Radar (Our dog)!" Cue, both of us cooing at the thing and continuing to exclaim "It's Radar!" at it as we continue the grocery shop.

We got two.

[multiphan]

JJ: This food is too hot, I can't eat it.

Emily: You're too hot and I still eat you.

JJ: *Blushes*

Emily: *Winks at her*

Luke: One dinner. I just want ONE DINNER.

[multiphan]

Emily: *Staring out a window looking pensive*

JJ: She's so pretty... So thoughtful... I wonder what she could be thinking about...

Emily: *Whispering to herself* Wed-nes-day... Whensday..? Wendesday?

[stainedglassruneycorn]

my wife and her dreams

Wife: so I had a weird dream

me: oh lord, what now.

Wife: I dreamt that Regina was married to Buddy from cakeboss, but he cheated on her with Emma.

me:... uh...you...wha..

Wife: yes, so we and Regina chased after Buddy on segways, and then Emma killed him with a stiletto shoe, and her and Regina kissed.

Me: but, wuht..

Wife: turns out Emma seduced Buddy so she could be with Regina.

Me: *walks out of the livingroom.*

[lonelyflorist]

Lesbian Pillow Talk

Me: Also, since when can you wear tampons overnight? o_O

Jen: um... no. you can't.

Me: My first sex ed class was like "If you wear a tampon to bed, you will die."

Jen: LOLOL

Me: My tampax box says otherwise.

Jen: Tampax has it out for you

Me: Tampax knows more about my vagina than my own girlfriend. Lord knows it's been up there more.

Jen: HAH

[perminentbitchface]

Me: Why did that lesbian say she uses condoms?

Liz: Why don't you google it?

3 minutes later

Me:What I don't get it-... I DON'T WANT TO KNOW! WHAT THE HELL!?!

(covers face and rolls away from screen)