HTP-adjacent: you're gonna sing the words wrong
https://mcu-trash.dreamwidth.org/1167.html?thread=10127#cmt10127
prompt: Bucky thinks his ongoing memory loss is a form of punishment
A few weeks/months Post TWS, Bucky’s come in from the cold and back to Steve, and he’s not doing well. He’s suffering from memory loss, partly due to lingering brain damage that the serum has yet to fix, but also in large part because memory lapses are a common aftereffect of trauma. Either no one’s informed Bucky of this (he’s been trying to conceal his lapses and has for the most part succeeded), or he doesn’t believe the explanation when it’s offered. He’s convinced that someone (HYDRA, his doctors, the Avengers) is taking his memories as a means to punish/control him--it's what's been done to him for the past seventy-odd years, after all. He thinks he’s being drugged, that there’s a chip in his brain, any combination of delusions you can come up with (maybe they become more far-fetched as Bucky’s paranoia gets worse). Up to you how Bucky reacts, whether he tries to appease Steve and co. so he can be allowed to hold onto himself, becomes more guarded and evasive, becomes frantic and tries to cut out the mind-altering implants he thinks are embedded in his skin, etc. The only thing I don’t want to see is robotic/childlike/feral Bucky (he’s confused and suffering from cognitive impairment, but he’s aware enough to know what normal behavior looks like even if he can’t always mimic it convincingly). Other than that, anything goes. Resolve (or not) however you want.
First lines:
There is crust around the eyes. Buc-- the asse-- Bucky blinks a few times as he sits up, reaches a hand up to rub at them. The cheek is touching leather, old drool caked around the lips, and it's almost enough to send him spiraling before he recognizes the soft white of the sofa. Natalia, he remembers, blessedly. Safe house. Waiting for Steve.
on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15048005
