K (aka @infinitystoner ) gifted me a commission by @rooji-r of character art depicting Loki and Theo for my birthday, and I got the finished piece last night — HOLY COW I AM SO IN LOVE.
I discovered rooji a while ago from their BG3 art (which you should also check out because it’s amazing!!!) and seeing their take on the two characters who have lived rent-free in my head since 2021 (and have resulted in over 200k words published on ao3 so far) has been such a treat!!
I imagine that Theo’s reading aloud while Loki’s being a cheeky little shit offering clever commentary while twirling her hair
Anyways I’ve had the literal zoomies since I got this last night and wanted to share it 🥰 thank you k for the gift and rooji for the amazing art!!!!!
When Everything's Made to be Broken - Chapter 25: Stories I'll Never Tell
Summary: In the lead up to the Remembrance Prayers, Theo grapples with ghosts of the past, unspoken truths, and the weight of a world upon her shoulders.
Contents: So, uh, you want some world building and back story? You want a soft little convo between Loki and Theo? How about that with a side of navigating some grief? If so, this chapter is for you!
Word Count: 4,222
Author’s Note: Hello! Look, I’m back with another chapter – on schedule, even! AND the next chapter is coming on the 15th, plus it’s looking like I’ll be on track to resume a regular posting schedule moving forward? The words have been wording, y’all.
I know I mentioned a long time ago that one of the big themes of this story, at least in my eyes, is navigating the different kinds of grief that we experience, and that’s particularly true of this chapter and the next, but of course we have some moments of slow burn (and the heat’s going to be turning up starting next week, get stoked!) As always, I love hearing your thoughts/theories/questions! Thanks for sticking around and giving this a read. <3
Also, sorry tumblr, forgot to tag y’all in the last update. O_o’
When Everything's Made to Be Broken Series (Archive of Our Own) | When Everything's Made to be Broken Masterlist (Tumblr)
Stories I’ll Never Tell
Song: Riverman - Lydia
Back when you were on your own
In that tiny place outside Chicago
Told me when you’re feeling low
You would wander down hillsides and brick roads
“Thought you’d be on the dock.”
The sound of Max’s voice pulled Theo from her thoughts. She glanced over her shoulder to find him approaching with brisk steps, hands tucked into the pockets of his wool jacket, his brow furrowed in that way it always did when he was trying not to look concerned.
“I haven’t had a chance to be out here without the council breathing down my neck,” Theo said, turning her gaze back to the headstone in front of her. She knelt at its base, carefully working a scalpel into the grooves of the inscription. The tiny blade scraped away flakes of lichen that had crept over the name in the year since the last Remembrance Prayers. “You’d think with all the ceremony and reverence they demand for the prayers, they’d actually maintain the memorials.”
The stone’s once-crisp lettering was dulled by dirt and overgrowth, the elegant curves of old Aneterran script barely readable beneath the mossy film. The surrounding grass had grown high, curling up around the markers like nature trying to cradle its dead.
When Everything's Made to be Broken - Chapter 26: If Only You Could Face It
Summary: Theo honors the past at the Remembrance Prayers. When she returns, Loki is waiting—with a plan to rewrite the story surrounding her heartbreak, blurring the line between calculated appearances and something far more personal.
Contents: First third: grief, trauma, and the emotional fallout of what’s basically a cosmic natural disaster (CW for death, grief, slow painful deaths, and mass casualty incidents).
Last two-thirds: Loki and Theo being absolutely clueless about their own feelings and each other’s, flirting like it’s a high-stakes strategy game, and pining so hard they could use Google Maps and still get lost in denial. Enjoy. 😈
Author’s Note: Three updates in three weeks… who is she?? (It’s me. Hi. I’m back. Hello.)
After hinting at the Remembrance Prayers forever ago (chapter 14? maybe?? time is fake), they’re finally here! When I first thought up the idea of these ceremonies, I didn’t realize just how much I’d end up pulling from real life. Last chapter’s headstone cleaning was basically lifted straight from a Memorial Day weekend 2024 outing with my mom and aunt, where we very seriously scraped lichen off old family graves like our lives depended on it (maybe they did, who knows). And after my grandpa passed last September (and my uncle five years before that), we just recently had their internments with full military honors – I thought of this scene long before my grandpa passed, but the internment still influenced the way this scene turned out.
Originally, I thought this chapter would show up way earlier in the story, but I’m actually really glad I waited. Not just because it gave me more time to do my little slow-drip lore drop thing (™), but also because I feel like Theo and Loki are much more fleshed out now—and that made writing their emotional beats during all this so much more fun.
And speaking of Theo and Loki… y’all. The slowburn is beginning its controlled descent into feelings town. Sparks are sparking. Eyes are lingering. Banter is bantering. They’re both still a little emotionally constipated but the tension? Let’s fucking goooooooooo!
As always, I adore hearing your thoughts/theories/feelings/general screaming in the comments or messages—it makes my day every single time. Thank you SO much for continuing to read, react, and ramble with me. I’m stupidly grateful you’re here <3
Even better: Chapter 27 will drop next Sunday (June 22), and it’s *all* about chemistry. Get hyped.
When Everything's Made to Be Broken Series (Archive of Our Own) | When Everything's Made to be Broken Masterlist (Tumblr)
If Only You Could Face It
Song: Riverman - Lydia
Word Count: 4,611
So welcome to your brand new life
Welcome to the city that's
Crawling with lovely devil eyes
Tell me what it feels like
When your pulse runs dry
When your mouth grows quiet
Paint your lips up bright
You got a little wicked in your eye
The air was heavy with the kind of silence that demanded reverence. Not just quiet – not just still – but consecrated. Even the wind held its breath, as if afraid to disturb the fragile balance of memory and mourning that saturated the sanctum.
Aneterrans from all over filled the sanctum in solemn procession, their ceremonial attire woven in deep tones of charcoal, amethyst, and silver – colors of mourning, memory, and magic. Candles flickered from tall iron sconces along the walls, their flames steady and unmoving, as if enchanted to reflect the seriousness of the day. The air smelled of warding smoke, polished stone, and the faint, bittersweet scent of starroot blossoms; the kind of floral only grown for funerals.
At the center of the Aetheréon, beneath the vast domed ceiling adorned with stained glass constellations, stood the altar – untouched, waiting.
Read on AO3 | When Everything's Made to be Broken Masterlist
Who Are Your Friends? Who Are Your Foes?
Song: Past Life - Lydia
Well, barely made it downtown
It's alright, it's alright
I bet I met you in a past life
But it's your word against mine
While you listen to it all at night
And while you feel your lungs stretching wide
Sooner or later, Theo knew it was bound to happen: she’d be pulled from the Emergency Department to fight.
She jokingly blamed it on one of the residents saying the ‘Q’ word - that it was a quiet night. The number one rule of working in Emergency Medicine was never point out if it was slow, because then you’d end up absolutely slammed…
… Not even twenty minutes later, an announcement overhead informed the department that all hands were on deck for a massive casualty event in Times Square.
Times Square.
What followed was a tidal wave of organized chaos, adrenaline coursing through everyone’s veins as they prepared for an onslaught of patients. Details were scarce, leaving the medical staff scrambling to ensure they were ready for any number of possibilities.
News of what caused the mass casualty event only reached the ED as they raced to the hangar in preparation of meeting the flight medics.
The shadow creatures were back, and they weren’t alone.
At the news, the ED residents and nurses looked to Theo with wide eyes and the color drained from their skin. Treating the injuries caused by shadow creatures had become more common, but the additional firepower, combined with a massive tourist trap?
The fear in the air could have been cut with a knife.
As the only one who had seen shadow creatures up close and personal, the attention on Theo came as no surprise. Maybe it was her soccer captain days coming through, but it seemed like a pep-talk would go a long way to reassure her colleagues. So, in the brief moment of calm before the storm, Theo turned to address the group.
“Don’t let yourselves get carried away with imagining what’s out there—” Theo said, careful to keep her own nerves from showing, “—we can't control that. Our job is to help every single person who comes through our doors, as best as we can. They need your full time and attention; we can’t afford to let ourselves get distracted by what’s going on out there. You’ve treated mass casualties before, and you can do it now. Take a deep breath—“ she gestured to the others to take a measured, slow inhale, “— and remember that you’re here for a reason. You’ve got this, okay?”
Nervous exhales, quick head nods, and a few murmurs of agreement came from the group before they split up into assigned teams to make their final preparations.
“Well, A for effort,” Julie lightly teased, approaching Theo’s side and bumping her hip into Theo’s, “could have used a bit more hope and inspiration, though. Maybe something like ‘everything will be alright! The Avengers are on it!’ Or something like that?”
So maybe it wasn’t Theo’s best pep-talk, but it was better than nothing.
“I don’t want to promise anything I don’t know,” Theo turned to face Julie and stepped closer, lowering her voice. “Shadow creatures not being alone makes me nervous, and even with the Avengers fighting it could still get ugly.”
Almost as if on cue, a blur of red and gold zipped through the hangar, slowing down before dramatically flipping around to land in front of Theo.
“Suit up, Rapunzel —“ The head of the iron man suit folded back; Tony’s brows furrowed and jaw set itself in a sharp line as he spoke. “—we need all the help we can get.”
The lack of quips only set Theo further on edge about what they were up against. As it was, Theo had barely been cleared to fight after overextending herself; the prospect of going into something so serious right away only made her more concerned. But there wasn’t a choice, because Tony wouldn’t be standing in front of her if there was. Ready or not, Theo had to fight.
“Go,” Julie said, the teasing smile from earlier replaced by a face of stony determination as she nodded in agreement with Tony. “If you don’t, we’ll only have even more people to treat. We can handle it here.”
Theo let out a tense breath and gave a quick nod to Julie. “Thanks, Jules. I’ll jump back on once we get back.”
Returning her attention to Tony, Theo raised her left arm and snapped her fingers; at the sound, her scrubs vanished, replaced by the suit of armor carefully crafted by Tony and Shuri. “Ready?”
Tony nodded, his suit reassembling itself to cover his head. “Hold on—“
Theo barely had the chance before Tony grabbed her and flew into the air, his blasters so close that Theo’s feet felt a strange rush of heat as they flew through the city.
Orange flickers of light reflected on the windows of skyscrapers, growing brighter and more intense as they drew near. Interspersed between booming explosions, shrieks of horror and pain echoed through the streets.
“Hope you’re ready,” Tony said, rounding the corner to reveal the full scale of what they were up against.
Amidst a grid-lock of abandoned cars, explosions flashed throughout, leaving behind flames which roiled up into the night sky with relentless pace. The technicolor lights from the video billboards of the square cast an eerie glow onto the scene, looking like something out of some post-apocalyptic video game Yelena would play…
… or Astonia, on the night of the Massacre.
Theo shook her head, trying to forget the resemblance. She needed to focus, not get caught up in the past.
“Cap, what’s the latest?” Tony called out. He dropped Theo near the edge of the fight, then flew ahead into the fray.
“It’s a mix of shadow beasts, shadow handlers, and humans–” Steve replied between heavy breaths. “Haven’t found a source–”
Shadow handlers, also known as the people who made their debut at their Met Gala. Little progress had been made in regards to identifying who they were, where they came from, or their motive, so for the moment, they were referred to as “handlers.” Theo had some suspicions she kept to herself, however.
“—You bring Theo?” Sam flew overhead, distracting some of the fighters in the street from the newest arrivals.
“Reporting for duty,” Theo replied, conjuring her shadow blade while she assessed the scene to determine her first move. “What’s the plan?”
“Keep the fight contained!” Clint answered through the comms, “We’ve cleared the area, but we have to make sure the fight doesn’t spread.”
Theo barely ventured into the chaos before she came face to face with her first adversary. They clumsily swung at her with a metal pole, but Theo easily ducked beneath and knocked them to the ground, thrusting her blade straight through their chest without a second thought.
“Do they have anyone in the buildings?” Wanda asked, a crimson glow emanating from her hands as she manipulated the burnt-through shells of vehicles to create a makeshift barricade around the fighting.
“Negative.” Vision flew past Theo’s head, close enough for her hair to get swept up in the breeze; moments later, a motorcycle with someone on it went after him. Theo conjured a shimmering orb and hurled it at the motorcycle, setting the rider on fire.
“Alright, give me two seconds!” Theo held up a hand, a swirl of glistening black and white expanding out to create a translucent dome around the fight, shielding those outside from the carnage within. As the dome swelled into the air, Theo sensed an aura of vaguely familiar magic rapidly approaching from behind.
The moment the dome locked into place, Theo spun around and sliced through a handler who tried to ambush her from behind, dropping him to the ground in one swift motion.
“That’s why we needed her.” Nearby, Natasha snatched the weapon from an enemy operative, swiftly jerking it in a counter-maneuver to take them down.
“Don’t you dare overextend yourself,” Theo could literally hear Loki scowling through the comms at her.
“I’ll be fine,” Theo scoffed, charging headfirst into the chaos. “Just– everyone try not to get too badly hurt, okay?
“That’s the plan!” Rhodes replied, zipping past as bullets sprayed around him.
Conjuring a second orb in her free hand, Theo darted between vehicles in search of her next target. She ran over the top of a truck and flipped over a group of shadow beasts who had cornered Peter, sending a series of small missiles out of the black and white orb before they could seriously injure him.
Peter gawked as the entire group froze, then dropped to the ground in a heap. He looked up to find Theo behind them and cheered. “Oh – hey Theo! Good to see you!”
Already bounding ahead to find her next target, Theo still chuckled and shook her head. She called back over her shoulder, “You too, kid, but stay focused - we’ll talk later!”
While Theo took down a pair of shadow beasts, she glanced up and noticed that a crowd of onlookers gathered around the outside edges of the dome, cell phones drawn and presumably recording the showdown, broadcasting the horror for all the world to see. If Theo hadn’t had her hands full trying to stem the seemingly endless flow attackers, she’d have considered telling them to get away; after all, if her barricade fell, they’d be royally fucked.
Then again, if they were willing to endanger themselves for viral content, maybe they deserved the consequences.
As someone hurled an explosive towards Theo, she leapt over an abandoned taxi to take cover, barely manning to crouch down before a shockwave blew out the vehicle’s glass, shards raining down around her.
At that same moment, Loki dove out of the way of a different explosion, somersaulting through the momentum and landing in a similar, crouched position. He conjured a pair of short swords, then dipped his chin at Theo in a sort of greeting. “How are you feeling?”
“I feel great,” she smirked at him, readying her blade for whoever attacked her next. “Downright peachy, even.”
Two handlers, each with a pair of shadow beasts, careened into sight from opposite sides, targeting the pair of sorcerers.
“Perhaps I should not have told the others you weren’t yet in fighting shape.” Loki wryly commented, slicing through the shadow beast in front of him with a flourish.
“I was cleared to fight— you know that,” Theo rolled her eyes, firing off a series of cosmic energy bolts at the pair of shadow beasts in front of her. “You don’t get to decide when I’m benched.”
Loki scoffed. “I simply assumed you would prefer to remain in the infirmary, given the choice.” He cast an illusion to distract the remaining shadow beasts and handlers, then teleported behind a handler and slit their throat with his dagger.
Likewise, Theo capitalized on the illusion and dissolved into shadow, transporting herself to right in front of the remaining handler. She reappeared only inches from the remaining handler, watching the sheer terror overcome them as she reached one hand out to rest on their chest, administering the touch of death. The handler dropped to the ground with a muffled thump. “I’d much rather make the choice for myself, thanks.”
“Your decisions result in harm to yourself,” Loki retorted with a scowl. He conjured a dagger and hurled it at an enemy, hitting them right between the eyes and killing them in the spot.
A surge of irritation coursed through Theo. “My decisions save lives,” she gritted out in between slashes of her blade at another beast trying to attack her, “Which, may I remind you, is my fucking job.”
Though fully entrenched in a duel of his own, Loki still glared at Theo. “Not at the expense of your own.”
The retort caught Theo off guard, and she faltered; Loki, however, continued on as if everything was normal. He fought as if he were dancing, each swing and each step fluid and agile. With the way the smoke moved around him and the glow of the city lights reflected off him, he looked every bit the mighty god he was.
What did he think— that she couldn’t defend herself? That she was just a stupid, fragile little Midgardian, not fit for the title of Avenger?
Reeling from the implications, Theo ran off, abandoning Loki in the process. His assistance wasn’t necessary, and if he believed that Theo needed his protection, then there was no way he’d have trouble defending himself. If anything, Theo needed to prove that she was, in fact, worthy of her place on the team, which meant diving into another fight.
Who are you trying to be
It's alright, it's alright
Cause it's in the stories and stay with me's
And in between the sheets
So while you're here and while it's right now
Can you feel them all coming out?
Amidst the smoke and fire, Theo’s eyes scanned the area as she planned her next move; however, something at the edge of the dome caught her attention.
The crowd had multiplied exponentially, shoving cell phone cameras and professional cameras up against the barrier to try and capture a slice of the action. That wasn’t all, though — amongst the spectators, Theo spotted a familiar figure, with blonde hair and a navy suit that fit so perfectly it had to have been sewn onto him: Chris.
Theo hadn’t seen him since he unceremoniously dumped her over voicemail, and frankly had no interest in seeing him; however, that wasn’t the worst part.
Next to him was a woman Theo vaguely recognized, only because she was starring opposite of Chris in the film he was shooting when he and Theo broke up. In the one or two times Theo met her, she seemed nice enough, but something about the way Chris acted when she was around seemed… odd. At the time, Theo just assumed it had to do with being co-stars. But in that moment, Theo saw Chris’s arm wrapped protectively around the brunette, and how the woman adoringly gazed up at him. She watched from a distance, frozen in place, as the brunette cupped Chris’s chin, turning his attention towards her and kissing him, right there in front of everyone.
Amplified by the adrenaline of combat and Loki’s condescension, the sight set off a surge of searing fury that exploded inside Theo, lighting her veins on fire with a level of intensity that threatened to consume her, so much that for a moment, she considered dissolving the barrier just so the spectators might learn their lesson… if Chris happened to suffer as a result, well… He was the one who didn’t evacuate from a battlefield.
Yet, she didn’t dissolve the barrier. Had she done so, she’d not only be responsible for those deaths, but she’d have to pretend that she wasn’t powerful enough to keep the barrier up, which would only confirm Loki’s belief that she was a weak little Midgardian.
Obscured by the smoke, no one from the crowd seemed to notice Theo as she stood there, barely ignoring the devil on her shoulder, which was likely for the best.
Unfortunately, the attackers had noticed, and took advantage of the lapse in focus; Theo turned around just in time to get punched in the face. Her head whipped to the side, biting her cheek as her jaw clamped shut in shock.
Reeling backwards, Theo ignored her watering eyes as she spit out a mouthful of blood. With a snarl, Theo charged in and took a swing of her own. Pain shot through her knuckles as she connected with their jaw, their head snapping to the side from the force.
Sure, she could have killed this guy with a spell or a shadow blade, but Theo needed to channel her anger into something productive.
Dodging the second punch thrown her way, Theo ducked down and swept her feet around, dropping her opponent flat on his back. On the way down, he grabbed hold of her leg and yanked her off balance in an attempt to take control of the fight.
Instead, Theo leveraged the momentum of her fall and slammed her elbow into his groin, incapacitating him long enough for her to regain her footing and land another painful, but solid punch to the head, knocking him out.
Only then did she conjure her blade, slowly dragging it across his jugular in a cold, measured execution that contrasted the searing anger in every cell of her being.
Once she got back on her feet, Theo shook herself out and re-conjured her shadow blade before charging towards another group of fighters. Moving with deadly precision, she sliced into half the group in rapid succession, black and white flames erupting from her blade and spreading to other fighters nearby.
The screams of pain from their flesh burning could barely be heard over the pounding of her heart in her ears and her own breathing; even if she could have heard them, she was too angry to care.
She spun around, launching constellations of stars at other enemies to incapacitate them. Teleporting behind another handler, Theo wasted no time dropping them with a clean slash to the throat, using the vehicles around them to obscure her from public view.
For a moment, Theo almost felt like she was back in Aneterra, taking out one of the Oblivinite storehouses. However, instead of abandoned warehouses in the bowels of a ruined city, she was on full display in the middle of Times Square, and she wasn’t torching everything in sight at the same time.
Although at that moment, she wouldn’t have minded torching everything in sight.
Gunshots rang out in quick succession, reminding Theo to keep moving. Hiding behind another burnt-up car, Theo glanced around in an attempt to figure out her next move. Behind an overturned delivery van, she spotted Yelena, grabbing her arm with a grimace.
Theo darted across the gap, diving behind the vehicle where Yelena took shelter just as another barrage of gun shots filled the air.
“What happened?” Theo demanded, already reaching for Yelena’s upper arm.
“Nothing, it’s fine.” Yelena gave a sharp head shake and scowled. “Go fight.”
“I have two functioning eyes and can tell you’re full of shit.” Theo challenged, raising a brow at the younger widow. “Tell me what’s wrong so I can fix it and you can get back out there.”
“I got hit by a shot,” Yelena shook her head a second time. “Really, no biggie.”
“Here —” Theo gestured for Yelena to remove her hand from her arm. “—Let me see.”
With a begrudging sigh, Yelena reluctantly moved her hand away from the injury.
When blood immediately dripped from the wound, Theo wasted no time pressing both hands to the injury in an attempt to stop the bleeding. She focused her energy, white runes making her way beneath Theo’s palm as the magic dissolved the bullet, then stitched Yelena’s flesh back together.
“What happened to you?” Yelena peered at Theo’s face as she worked, the light of the billboards and flames illuminating the area around them.
“I got distracted and punched in the face. It’s not a big deal,” Theo shrugged, lifting her gaze from the wound to scan the area for additional threats.
“Are you going to heal yourself?” Yelena questioned, eyes darting between Theo’s face and her glowing white hand.
“Can’t - it’s like a surgeon can’t operate on themselves. It looks worse than it feels though,” Theo replied absentmindedly, watching as the last bits of Yelena’s skin closed up. “Alright, you’re set. Now go fuck some people up.”
“Thanks!” Yelena took off, almost gleeful as she launched herself back into the fight.
If only Theo enjoyed the absolute insanity of combat like Yelena did… Then again, that was probably what made Yelena such a great assassin. She downright thrived in environments like that.
Rolling her shoulders a couple times, Theo embraced the opportunity provided by her relatively shielded location to catch a breath and regain her focus; once she felt ready, she got back on her feet and followed Yelena’s lead.
I bet I met you in a past life
And do you travel alone
What're you living like?
Go on, go on, well
What're you thinking about
On those late nights?
And when you listen in close,
What's it sound like?
After what felt like a lifetime of fighting with everything she had in her, Theo could have sworn they’d finally started to make progress when a message came through the comms.
“I need help—” Bucky choked out, his voice crackling through the intercom, “—Loki’s down!”
Somehow, all it took was two simple words for Theo’s anger to vanish, while something deeply unsettling replaced it, twisting frantically in her gut.
“I’m fine!” Loki groaned, though the way his words slightly slurred didn’t help his case.
“Bullshit,” Bucky retorted, “You can’t even walk!”
Theo searched around frantically, the smoke from cars on fire obscuring more and more of her vision. “Where are you?”
“I can heal mysel—” Loki weakly tried to butt in, but Bucky was louder. “—By the MTV screen!”
Without a second thought, Theo teleported herself over to the area, then sprinted towards the sound of two men bickering. She rounded the corner of a burned-out vehicle husk, her feet stuttering as she came to a sudden halt.
Loki sat on the ground, clutching his side as he leaned against the dingy steel frame of what once had been a car. Sitting might have been a generous term; if anything, it looked more like he had been propped up against the car by Bucky, who had both hands pressed against Loki’s thigh in an attempt to stop some of the bleeding. Loki looked out at the world from beneath heavy eyelids, his head slightly listing from side to side as he looked at Bucky. All the color had drained from his skin, appearing almost translucent beneath the smoky grime all over his body. Despite gritting his teeth, he breathed as though he’d run a marathon - short, quick bursts of breath that were shallow at best. Around him, discolored pavement reflected back the lights of the billboards; with a shudder, Theo realized it was likely his blood that stained the ground.
Theo dropped to her knees, scouring Loki’s body for other signs of injury. A large gash crossed over Loki’s temple and across his forehead, in addition to whatever injury Loki covered with his hands and the wound Bucky applied pressure to. While she looked him over, she pressed a finger to his wrist; finding only a faint, yet frenetic pulse, Theo cursed under her breath, then reached up to feel for his pulse in the crook of his neck. When the result proved to be similar, she began to pry Loki’s hand from his side so she could see the wound.
“I do not require your assistance,” Loki hissed, glaring at her as she worked. His normally sharp, sea-glass green eyes struggled to focus, taking on a sort of glassiness. “I will be fine.”
“There’s no way you’re healing this on your own,” Theo replied, swatting away Loki’s hands when he clunaily tried to put them back over the wound. Just a quick glance was enough to determine that the side wound likely contributed to most of the blood around them, so Theo took over placing pressure on the injury. “—especially not in this state.”
“You’ve no idea of my capabilities,” Loki attempted a protest, but it came out as more of a mumble.
Next to Theo, Bucky rolled his eyes; Clearly Theo wasn’t the only one who didn’t buy Loki’s argument whatsoever.
“Generally speaking, no I don’t, but right now I have a pretty damn good idea what you can and can’t do.” Theo muttered, ignoring Loki‘s scowl as she pressed a bit harder on the side wound. At least by leaning in on the snark, it was easier to hide the rapidly swelling worry in her chest. “Seriously, Casper has a better complexion than you do. How did this happen?”
“One of those shadow bastards,” Loki huffed, leaning his head back and closing his eyes.
The movement shifted his weight off balance; he listed towards the right, torso sliding over until he started to tip—
Theo‘a hand shot out, catching Loki’s shoulder before he hit the ground.
At the sudden change of position, Loki’s eyes flew open with surprise. Strangely, he didn’t protest as Theo eased him down to the ground, then nudged him to draw his uninjured leg up and bend his knee.
“A claw? A bite? I need more than that,” Theo said, before pressing on her comm to activate it. “I need medics for an evac by the MTV sign as soon as possible - note that the area is not yet secured.”
“Neither,” Loki weakly replied. ”They looked to be one of the beings from the gala, but their attire differed from the others. Struck me with two blades.”
Shit.
Most of the handlers Theo had encountered throughout the fight hadn’t been anywhere near the level of challenge that the very first handler had been. What if there was some form of hierarchy, and Loki happened to come into contact with one of the more powerful fighters— would they be focused on something else? Or, like the handler from the Met Gala, use the opportunity to ambush Theo?
Theo lifted her head, frantically searching for any sign that the person who did this to Loki was in their proximity.
“Medic is in transit, eta 3 minutes.” A voice came through the comms, but the update offered barely any relief. With wounds like Loki’s, time was of the essence - it wasn’t just about stopping the bleeding, but about replenishing the blood that had already been lost. He needed surgery to properly close the wounds and assess for possible organ damage, particularly in the case of the side wound.
Fuck it— Theo needed to heal him, even if she wasn’t sure she had enough energy to do so. Loki could be salty about it later.
Theo focused her attention, delicate white runes revealing themselves on her skin as a white glow emanated from beneath her hands. She closed her eyes, willing her magic into Loki’s wound. The injury cut deep enough that if he had been a random human, he would have been long-dead. She set about stemming the blood loss through connecting the major veins that had been severed, her head throbbing more and more from every connection she made.
“Stop–” Loki commanded with a surprising ferocity, tugging one of Theo’s hands away from his injury.
It wasn’t until the flow of her magic had been interrupted that Theo noticed a wet, sticky warmth beneath her nose and tasted iron in her mouth.
“Damn,” Theo muttered, wiping her nosebleed on her sleeve before she brought her hand back and reapplied pressure to his side.
“Do not dare incapacitate yourself for me.” Loki glared at Theo, though in his weakened state it wasn’t exactly threatening.
“Loki, my job is to make sure people don’t die, and right now, you’re dying,” Theo countered, “You’re literally going into shock from blood loss - you’re so pale you’re translucent, your eyes are glassy, you’re struggling to stay upright, you’re cold and clammy, you’re hyperventilating— between giving myself a migraine and having you bleed out in the middle of Times Square, I don’t even need to think about what my decision is going to be, and you’re in no shape to stop me.”
Before Loki could muster up a response, pounding footsteps and the squeaking wheels of a stretched echoed out amidst the fighting. Theo turned her attention towards the sound to find a team of medics, accompanied by Natasha, approaching the group.
“Thank fucking god,” Theo whispered, more to herself than anything. She gathered herself as best she could while the medics closed the final gap; as soon as they arrived, Theo skipped any formal greeting so that they could complete the handoff report and get Loki out of there as soon as possible.
Yet, right before Theo finished explaining what she managed to heal with magic to the medics, the commotion of a new fight broke out nearby.
The additional chaos drew Loki’s limited attention away from the group hovering around him, though everyone else remained focused on his injuries.
“—Managed to close–”
“—There–” Loki interrupted, trying to sit up and point toward the fighting, only for a medic to place one hand on his chest and stop him. “—That’s the one–”
Startled by Loki’s claim, Theo stopped mid-sentence and whipped around to see for herself.
Her blood, once boiling with fury, turned to ice…
… Fighting Bucky was someone clad in attire similar to the person Theo killed at the Met Gala; however, the cloak seemed a bit shorter, the octarine eyes from before were absent, and onyx hair fell in front of the person’s face as they fought. The person moved with a hauntingly familiar sort of grace that Theo hadn’t seen in a long time, countering Bucky’s attacks with nimble, agile steps and maneuvers that made one of the world’s most deadly assassins look like a lumbering fool in comparison.
No, it wasn’t–
“Take over, I’m going after them.” Theo commanded. She didn’t look back or wait for a reaction before she launched herself in the direction of the fight. Her heart pounded in her ears once more as she charged forward, inserting herself into the action by blocking a slash aimed at Bucky with her own shadow blade.
A glint of amethyst flashed beneath the hood of the cloak as the person froze; Theo took advantage of the pause and twisted her wrist around, knocking her opponent’s blade to the ground.
“Who are you?” Theo demanded, shifting into an offensive stance as she readied herself to attack.
The handler mirrored Theo’s movement, though without the confidence or recklessness of the being that Theo previously fought. For a moment, the lights from flashing billboards and fires left in the wake of fighting illuminated the bottom half of the person’s face, and Theo’s pulse quickened.
Their mouth hung slightly agape, lips painted a deep crimson that contrasted ivory skin; whoever it was, they seemed surprised by Theo’s appearance, which only raised more questions.
“No,” They whispered, their voice cracking at the end. Chest heaving, they took one halting step back, then another–
— and broke into a sprint in the opposite direction.
Theo gave chase, a bloodhound after a fox in the night. Her target darted between other fighters, using magic to shove burning car frames and other obstacles in Theo’s way, but Theo used her own magic to clear the path once more.
The other person came to a sudden halt in the middle of the square. Burning cars and neon lights lit the area behind them, casting them as a silhouette amidst an apocalyptic scene. They turned back, facing Theo as she began to close the distance. Theo picked up her pace, locked onto her target–
—but in a flash of swirling runes, the other person vanished into the night, and with them, the remaining adversaries disappeared.
Theo slowed down to a jog, stopping only when she arrived at the space abandoned by the handler. She bent forward, resting her hands on her knees as she caught her breath and looked around, even though her gut told her it was pointless – whoever it was, they were gone.
“Fuck!” Theo snarled at no one and threw her blade on the ground. She covered her face with both hands and scrubbed her skin, trying to contain her frustration before it raised too many eyebrows.
She should have been happy that the fight was over. No more casualties, no more injuries, they could clean up and repair the damage… but she wasn’t. If anything, it only set her off even more.
Because in their wake, all the shadow handler left were more questions and a sinking pit of dread where Theo’s heart would normally be.
With two cracks in my skull
I can see the moon laying real low
So when you lay in bed
Do you smile about who you're laying with?
Are you weak in your knees?
I don't give a shit, you're coming out with me
You're better than you've ever known
Darling, who are your friends?
Who are your foes?
—————
Author’s Note: *walks in two months late with Starbucks and a chapter update* hi everyone — it has been a HOT minute! I’m still here and still writing this story… the tl;dr version is I had a very different plan for this chapter but just couldn’t get it right, so I took a step back to figure out why and I realized that a few things needed to happen in a different order, which required a moderate amount of work on the back end… however! I am much happier with the result and hopefully y’all will enjoy it as well.
Originally, I hoped to post this yesterday for the one and only @sarahscribbles birthday, but of course my brain wouldn’t cooperate… but we made it (eventually)! Go wish Sarah a happy belated birthday, and check out her fics if you haven’t already - she’s a wonderful Loki writer who deserves lots of love and celebration!
Next chapter will come much sooner, I promise - I have most of it already written! Not committing to a date (yet), but I imagine in the next week or two it should be posted.
As always, I love to hear your thoughts and reactions! Reblogs are also greatly appreciated.
When Everything's Made to be Broken - Chapter 2: And You Have Every Right to be Scared
Summary: Theo ends up on SHIELD's Radar. Loki ponders his place among the Midgardians.
Author's Notes: First chapter with Theo POV! This is a much lighter chapter than the last one. Hoping to post Ch. 3 on 10/22, but it depends on how helping my parents move next weekend goes (I have it written, but having the time to post is another thing. If you enjoy, please reblog!
Content Warnings: None!
Word Count: 3,843
Read on AO3 | When Everything's Made to be Broken Masterlist
Song: Some Nights (Intro) - fun.
There are some nights I hold on to every note I ever wrote
Some nights, I say "fuck it all" and stare at the calendar
Waiting for catastrophes, imagining they'd scare me
Into changing whatever it is I am changing into...
And you have every right to be scared
It was really easy for Theo to pretend there wasn’t a sudden infestation of shadow creatures attacking Earth until she was locked in a dirty subway car beneath New York City with a horde of them.
Sure, she saw the recent news reports about their appearance in New York, not to mention the videos of different organizations struggling to fight them. Hell, at work she had treated some of the people who came into the Emergency Room after getting into a tussle with the little terrors. However, she was perfectly content to ignore the reports, the calls from Nick Fury, the stalking by Maria Hill, and the pestering by her Mémère to put her abilities to use by helping eradicate the beasts.
Nick Fury may have done her family a favor a while back, but they already repaid it tenfold. It was no secret that he always kept tabs on Theo, but she assumed it had less to do with him calling on a favor and more with ensuring someone with abilities like hers was always monitored.
If anything, the more Fury insisted on cornering Theo “to talk,” the more it seemed like Nick Fury had forgotten that Theo swore off everything affiliated with her powers. Theo was a civilian. She left that life behind, trading it in for stethoscopes and scrubs, and she was not about to go back. There was nothing that the Director of SHIELD could offer her that would change her mind. Besides, the hippocratic oath specified that Theo would do no harm, and if she really wanted to push Fury’s buttons, she could argue that the oath could apply to shadow creatures, even if they were eldritch horrors.
Well, that was what Theo told herself. In reality, she was content to ignore the shadow creature problem until a pack of the little monsters barged through the steel door of a subway car, snarling and slithering and reeking of death. Running crossed her mind, until one of the damn demons launched itself at Fran, the little old woman with the perfectly permed hair and smoker voice who always rode the subway back from her poker night at the same time that Theo was on her way home from work.
Hippocratic oath be damned, Theo was not about to let Fran die right after she won $200 from Eddie (who from what Fran had told her over the course of many train rides, sounded like an absolute asshole). Fran needed to live so she could celebrate, which meant the beasts needed to go, and Theo was the only one around with the skills to exterminate them.
A bit of strategic maneuvering among the chaos ensured that no one saw Theo activate her powers. Not even five minutes later, the subway car floor was littered with the dust of what was once the pests; she may have chosen to abstain from fighting, but after all that time combat still came to Theo like it was second nature. When all was said and done she slipped into the crowds, deactivated her powers, and returned to the scene, pretending to be just as shocked as everyone else.
In the days following the confrontation, the video of her singlehandedly obliterating the entire pack had gone viral. Even though Theo’s powers altered her appearance so a casual acquaintance could not identify her, anyone who knew about her little secret would instantly recognize her. Unfortunately, Fury and Maria were among the select few who knew exactly what they were looking at. After the video got out, the pair were somehow even more incessant in their attempts to speak to Theo, to the extent that she had to start relying on back doors and climbing out her fire escape to avoid them.
When the other members of the cover band Theo played in noticed her aversion to taking the main exits, they assumed she had a stalker. It certainly didn’t help that there was now a table of middle aged men in suits at every bar gig, standing out like a sore thumb amidst the younger, more casually dressed regulars. The only reason they didn’t call the police was because she eventually made up the claim that Stark Industries was recruiting her for their hospital that they just opened in Avengers Tower, so she was trying to make it less obvious to the people around her that she was being observed.
As far as lies went, it was terrible - certainly not one of her best - but somehow they believed it.
It was a bit harder to avoid the SHIELD agents when she was at soccer practice. They sat in their vehicles, parked far enough away that none of the other players noticed. Sure, it made Theo wonder if there were times other creeps sat there watching their practices, but she never brought it up. Her team had just qualified to play in their rec league championship, so they needed to stay focused.
A week after having to talk her bandmates out of calling the cops, Theo came home from a bar show to find Maria Hill accompanied by a collection of SHIELD agents in her apartment. The stalking was one thing, but entering her private space? Theo was moments away from banishing them to an alternate dimension, even if it meant she’d be in deep shit later on.
Before Theo could unleash her temper on the uninvited house guests, Maria uttered a phrase so startling that even Theo was rendered speechless.
“Director Fury wants to speak with you immediately - it’s about your parents and your sister.”
Cause there are some nights I hold you close, pushing you to hold me
Or begging you to lock me up, never let me see the world
Some nights, I live in horror of people on the radio
Tea parties and Twitter, I've never been so bitter…
Two decades prior, had one inquired whether Loki could imagine himself living his life anywhere besides Asgard, Loki would have laughed at the preposterous nature of the statement.
In his naivety, he believed Asgard to be the golden realm, the very definition of a Utopia - why would one wish to live anywhere else? Certainly, other realms had their charms - Vanaheim’s lush landscapes always provided a peaceful retreat, and visiting Midgard to cause lighthearted chaos was a childhood pastime for both Loki and Thor - but why would one ever wish to live anywhere other than the realm of the Gods themselves?
As he sliced through another of what could best be described as “shadow beasts,” it occurred to Loki that the Norns had a rather cruel sense of humor. How else would he be in his current position, residing upon and working alongside the Midgardians to protect a realm which he was once sent to conquer? That morning, he was summoned to fend off a multiversal threat unlike anything he’d encountered among his many travels. The day before, he represented New Asgard at an international summit on environmentally sustainable food production practices. He had lived upon Midgard for over half a decade, with no sign of leaving any time soon.
Had someone informed younger Loki of what the fates had in store, he would have collapsed to the ground in a fit of relentless, all-consuming laughter which was so intense that one might think him mad.
Alas, Asgard was no more. The few Aesir who survived Ragnarok were brought to Midgard, to establish a new civilization on the very land where Odin uttered his final words. No sooner had the Aesir landed on Midgard were they called into battle, facing off with the Mad Titan himself, Thanos, as well as the Black Order. More Aesir perished in a truly intergalactic battle which barely succeeded in preventing the Titan from achieving his goal - eliminating 50% of all living creatures in the universe.
When the dust settled, the once mighty Aesir were reduced to a mere shadow of their former glory. They struggled to make sense of the tragedy, to attempt to rebuild without any of the tools which allowed the Aesir to thrive in the construction of Asgard.
The initial reaction to Loki’s presence in the realm he once terrorized was not kind. Had it not been for Thor’s advocacy and Banner’s testament that Loki was acting under duress when he attacked New York, Loki would have been banished from the realm, if not outright executed. Whether he deserved his brother’s arduous defense, Loki was skeptical, but without an alternative for where he would go or what he would do, Loki was forced to accept the support.
Selfishly, he was grateful for his brother’s foolish sentiment, though he would rather hug Sutur than admit it aloud.
Preparing the Midgardians for what to expect when Thanos would inevitably arrive, as well as fighting alongside the Midgardians to defeat Thanos brought a tenuous truce. He no longer endured harassment when venturing beyond New Asgard, but scandalized whispers followed him as if they were the shadow of his legacy - a legacy of destruction, of embodying the monster which parents told their children of at night, of betraying those who he claimed to love. Those nearby would put forth a concerted effort to avoid crossing paths with the trickster, providing him a wide berth wherever he went.
While the Midgardians were unafraid to hide their distrust, the attitudes which the Aesir held towards Loki were more difficult to ascertain. Perhaps they were conflicted; the time which Loki posed as Odin was among the most peaceful and prosperous that the realm had known, though it was at the cost of banishing the Allfather to a care home on Midgard. Banishing the Allfather led to Odin’s passing, which brought the return of Hela, and eventually caused Ragnarok. Though prophesied, it was not a stretch to argue that Loki’s actions served as the catalyst for the demise of thousands. And while Loki ensured the salvation and evacuation of many Aesir by piloting the Statesman to Asgard, it never should have reached such a state where evacuation was necessary. Sure, he unleashed Sutur and ultimately ended Ragnarok, but that was simply a matter of finishing what he started.
Then there was Loki’s involvement with the interruption of Thor’s coronation, the invasion of Jotunheim, the banishment of Thor, and the killing of his father, Laufey. All of which led to his involvement with the Mad Titan and the Black Order - a time which Loki had no interest in revisiting, but caused irreparable harm to many people and multiple realms. And though most were unaware, Loki could be traced back to the death of Frigga - had he not informed Kursed where to find Jane, the Allmother would have remained alive. He may have nearly sacrificed himself to protect Jane Foster, but one heroic moment was nowhere near the atonement required for his past actions.
The search for atonement was how Loki found himself fighting alongside Earth’s Mightiest Heroes.
It had been Thor’s idea. The oaf believed that joining the Avengers would cast Loki in a positive light and improve his reputation, which would be important if he were to remain on Midgard and ruling New Asgard by Thor’s side. Additionally, joining the Avengers would provide the younger prince with a means by which to continue practicing magic, as well as access to knowledge and resources which might satisfy Loki’s more scholarly nature.
The case Thor put forth was not terrible; perhaps a lesser being would have been swayed. However, neither of the reasons he provided were the cause of Loki relenting to the constant pestering about assisting the Heroes.
Loki viewed the agreement to join the Avengers as reparations, or paying his penance. He did not expect the Avengers to welcome a villain into their midst, much less a monster - he certainly was no hero. If anything, he expected them to view him as a wolf in sheep’s clothing. They would be civil towards the Asgardian, and in exchange he would provide whatever assistance they needed while maintaining a safe distance.
That was years ago. In recent days, Thor swore the Midgardians had come to love Loki, though Loki was hardly convinced. Sure, the Midgardians no longer made a point to avoid the younger prince wherever he went; if he was out in public with Thor, from time to time a passerby would approach and ask for a photo with the trickster instead of the God of Thunder. The media relished opportunities to interview the God of Mischief, during which he turned on his charm and played the reporters like a fiddle.
It was all a show. Loki knew that it was a facade, an illusion - a part he played in the elaborate scheme of things. Still, there were moments where he allowed himself to dwell on what it might be like to truly belong, to know he was not alone.
A flash of movement in the corner of his vision caught Loki’s attention. He turned to find Maximoff unleashing a blast of chaos magic on a pack of the eldritch vermin which had overrun the streets as of late. She offered a bright smile and wave; Loki allowed one corner of his lips to quirk upward as he nodded at her.
Even if his responsibility was little more than to play a part, there was something to be said for the recent challenge which occupied the Avengers’ time. Shadow creatures, for lack of a better term, randomly started appearing in New York, attacking random civilians and destroying anything they touched.
In the many years since Loki had adopted Midgard as his place of residence, never had he encountered a situation quite like this. All efforts to identify the origin of the beings had been futile. The creatures were not like anything encountered by any of the Avengers, Loki included, and even among the seemingly endless supply of information available to the Avengers, no record of similar creatures appeared anywhere. The magical aura which emanated from the creatures was quite distinct from anything Loki had encountered before.
And yet, the prospect of a challenge that not only required skill in battle, but a certain intellectual pedigree brought a spark that he had not felt in quite some time. Perhaps it was an antidote to the drudgery.
Or, perhaps it was a chance to prove to himself that he was in fact worthy of the title of “Earth’s Mightiest Heroes.”
He didn’t dare dwell on the thought.
And you, why you wanna stay?
Oh my God! Have you listened to me lately?
Lately, I've been going crazy...
And you, why you wanna stay?
Oh my God! Have you listened to me lately?
Lately, I've been fucking crazy...
She must have lost her mind.
Flanked by a pair of SHIELD security guards, Theo cursed herself for agreeing to go with Maria. Really, she must have lost her mind - that was the only reasonable explanation that Theo could come up with for her lapse in judgment. After all, everyone in her immediate family was dead, and they had been dead for a long time. If she couldn’t bring back the dead, there was no way that anyone affiliated with SHIELD could.
What could Nick Fury possibly want to speak with Theo about regarding her parents and her sister that hadn’t been discussed long ago?
When she considered the situation, it was more realistic to assume that there was probably some treaty that Theo broke by using her power. Given she wouldn’t come willingly, they must have realized they needed to lure her out so they could lock her up - even if the Sokovia Accords were no longer enforced, it didn’t mean people were still a bit put off by anyone with… abilities. Again, another reason why she had no interest in using her powers.
Along the cool tile floor, Theo’s black oxford shoes clicked with each step. The sound echoed off the sterile halls, while harsh fluorescent lights illuminated the path forward. Staring ahead, Theo had to stop herself from snickering when she realized Fury’s bald head actually shined under the light, as if he polished it for the occasion.
What would happen if Theo told them she changed her mind? Would they grab her and drag her into whatever interrogation room they undoubtedly had set up for her? Would they skip the interrogation and toss her into a cell? Or would they let her slip away?
Probably the first option. Maybe the second. The third was laughable. This was SHIELD they were talking about; they probably had some kind of ward on the entire compound to restrict any special abilities.
No, it was too late - she had come too far, and she couldn’t turn back. She may as well play along and see what they wanted. If nothing else came from it, she was curious to see what on earth would be related to her family.
Then again, Curiosity killed the cat… or some shit like that.
Well, nothing managed to kill her yet, so it was safe to say that curiosity probably wouldn’t be her cause of death.
Arriving at their destination, Maria scanned her badge to unlock the steel door. Fury entered first, not even offering a nod of acknowledgement to Maria. With a tense smile, Maria gestured for Theo to enter next. Theo forced the closest thing she could offer to a smile before following suit.
Based on the hallway they just exited, Theo expected an interrogation room to await her. Instead, she was greeted by black leather chairs with high backs, which surrounded a relatively small table constructed from metal and glass. A projector dropped down from the ceiling, pointed at a screen on the opposite end of the room. There were no windows. Pale gray walls echoed the metal finishes found throughout the rest of the SHIELD facility.
A conference room.
“Sit.” Fury gestured to a chair, though he didn’t make any effort to sit himself.
Keeping her eyes trained on the director, Theo cautiously lowered herself into the seat.
“I thought you were done fighting.” Fury began, crossing his arms and glaring at Theo.
“I thought you could control your interplanetary invasions better, but if it’s between having to fight versus watching little old Fran get ripped to shreds, I’m protecting Fran.” Leaning back in her seat, Theo crossed her arms and returned Fury’s glare. “You know that I want nothing to do with this, so why won’t you leave me alone?”
“We understand that you want to be a civilian, but you know more about shadow creatures and the world they come from than anyone else,” Maria answered, taking a seat across from Theo and folding her hands together atop the table. “We wouldn’t be trying to enlist you if we felt we had other options to stop them.”
“So you lied about having something I needed to know about my family so you could get me down here and beg me to help?” An incredulous laugh snuck out of Theo as she shook her head. “That’s low, even for SHIELD–”
“Your parents and your sister are alive.”
With seven words, Nick Fury rendered Theo speechless.
It wasn’t possible; there was no way they were alive. Theo was there - she saw their blood spilled on the cobblestone streets, empty eyes reflecting back a city engulfed in flames. Their final cries still rang in her ears on the darkest nights.
Searching his face for proof that he was trying to trick her, Theo only found the harsh glare and narrowed eyes that the director cast at everyone around him.
Fire coursed through Theo’s veins at the audacity of Fury’s claim; that he believed he could fool her was almost enough to make her leave right then and there.
“Bullshit.” Theo clenched her jaw, her hands balled into fists as they remained in her lap. “You know as well as I do that they were killed in the massacre—”
“Proof.” To make his point, Fury slapped a manila folder down in front of Theo. “They may have been in the massacre, but they weren’t killed.”
Biting back her ire at Fury for the moment, Theo turned her attention to the contents of the folder. Photos, partially redacted communication records, measurements of their magical signatures, all relatively recent - her mother, her father, and her sister.
An avalanche of thoughts cascaded in Theo’s mind. If this was the case - if they were really alive, how did they survive? Where were they now? Why hadn’t they tried to contact Theo, or Mémère, or the council?
Theo drew in a deep breath, holding it for a five-count, then released it slowly.
“This doesn’t make sense,” She said, scanning over the documents yet again. “If you know they’re alive, where are they? Why aren’t they here?”
“Here’s the deal: you help us with the shadow creature invasion, and we’ll help you reunite with your family.” Rather than answer Theo’s question, Fury leaned forward, folding his hands together and resting them on the table. “Work with the Avengers to investigate and eliminate whoever’s at the center of these invasions. If you do, once you’re reunited with your family, we’ll leave you alone.”
“Wow, that seems rather manipulative, don’t you think?” Theo drawled, her tone unapologetically sharp as she glared at the pair of SHIELD agents across from her. “Withholding my family from me in exchange for my services?”
“We’ll need to work together in order to reach your family anyways,” Maria pointed out with a small shrug.
“You help us, we’ll help you.” Fury pressed.
Some people believed in fate. Some people believed in destiny. Theo didn’t believe in either - while she had been placed in positions where it seemed like she had no choice more times than she could count, she knew that she, ultimately, was the one who decided her path forward. At times, the decisions were obvious, but there were plenty of decisions made that kept Theo up at night.
This was one decision she was not ready to make.
“Give me two days to think it over,” Theo countered. “I’ll find you when I’ve made up my mind.”
Two days was reasonable - she needed time to do some research of her own, figure out what parts of the situation Fury was holding off on telling her, and weigh the risks of agreeing to the proposal.
Then again, if they were alive… What did she have to lose?
There are some nights I wait for someone to save us
But I never look inward, try not to look upward
And some nights I pray a sign is gonna come to me
But usually, I'm just trying to get some sleep...
Some nights!
Tag list: @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @thedistractedagglomeration @lokisgoodgirl @simplyholl @mochie85 @coldnique @lokixryss @gigglingtiggerv2 @infinitystoner @loopsisloops @mischief2sarawr @crzyplantladyvibes @buttercupcookies-blog @vickie5446 @wolfsmom1 @sarahscribbles @loki-cees-all @the-lady-amphitrite @tripleyeeet - let me know if you want to be added!
When Everything's Made to be Broken - Chapter 19: Would You Count on Me?
Summary: When Theo’s down and out, Loki recruits the other Avengers to help lift her back up.
Contents: Similar to the last chapter, descriptions of vomiting in relation to describing a migraine. Canon typical injury descriptions. Some very (very) brief mentions of IV/needles? Soft moments and fluff.
Word Count: 6,296
Read on AO3 | When Everything's Made to be Broken Masterlist
Song: Easy Money - Lights
I expect you on your worst behavior
I am a giver but you know I'm not a taker, yeah
When you're riding in the night, I'll be shotgun, yeah
Said you're looking for a friend, well you got one, yeah
Until the last dollar
Until the last dollar
Morning came far too quickly.
Even a pleasant, dreamless sleep for a few hours could not replenish Loki’s energy in the same way a full night of rest could. Yet, waking up with Theo still tangled up around him eased a surprising amount of his irascibility at his persistent insomnia.
In the soft morning light filtering in through the bedroom window, Loki took the opportunity to reassess Theo’s condition.
Though it seemed that a night spent next to Loki with his reduced temperature helped, Theo still felt far too warm. Remnants of tear tracks lingered on fever-flushed cheeks, while her eyelids remained red and swollen with irritation. An indigo bruise, likely from the prior evening’s combat, had appeared overnight along the hollow of her cheek. It was relatively small - a bit larger than a knuckle, by Loki’s estimate - but the stark contrast of the bruise versus Theo’s gaunt complexion gave the impression that it was quite the blow.
All in all, Theo looked as if she could sleep for a year and it still would not be enough to feel rejuvenated.
Theo obviously needed a healer, yet Loki’s previous attempts to convince her had not proved fruitful; whether stubborn pride or an impaired mind from the illness caused such profound refusal, Loki was not sure.
Maximoff might have more success; she possessed a keen sense for how to approach individuals in a rather vulnerable state.
Enlisting Maximoff’s help, however, meant explaining why Theo was in Loki’s bedchamber and not her own. And though Loki trusted that Maximoff would not focus on the oddity of the circumstances, he did not trust that anyone else who caught wind of the situation would be so kind.
Briefly, the idea of returning Theo to her quarters before seeking Maximoff’s assistance came to mind. After considering the logistics, Loki quickly dismissed the idea; if he brought her back without waking her, she might become distressed upon waking in the location she specifically requested to avoid for the night. To gain Theo’s consent to return to her quarters, Loki would need to wake her, and that raised the possibility of an awkward conversation about why they laid with each other. Not to mention the possibility she would reject the proposal, which would mean Loki had roused her for nothing.
Upon concluding that Maximoff’s assistance would be necessary, Loki carefully untangled himself from Theo and slipped from the bed. After dressing for the day, he fixed the bedcovers on his side of the bed to give the impression Theo slept alone, then retrieved a pillow to place on the sofa in his great room.
In his great room, he set the pillow at one end of the sofa, then laid atop it and conjured a blanket to cover himself with, only to uncover himself and leave the items there to imply he spent the night on the sofa. Even if Theo was no longer courting anyone, Loki did not want to risk the impression of any inappropriate or questionable behavior. His decision to spend the night with her would remain between the two of them.
With the stage set, Loki looked in on Theo one final time to ensure she hadn’t woken. Seeing that she hadn’t stirred, Loki set off in search of Maximoff.
Knowing that Maximoff regularly took her breakfast around the present moment, that was Loki’s first destination - sure enough, Maximoff sat at the breakfast bar in her pajamas, halfway through a bowl of cereal as she looked over the morning paper. Her mobile sat in front of her as if she were expecting some sort of communication, but the screen remained dark.
Unfortunately, Maximoff was far from alone: Romanoff, Barnes, and Wilson also sat at the breakfast bar, all at varying points of their morning meals and routines. Romanoff and Wilson had dressed for the day, while Barnes sported a threadbare that he only wore for sleeping and had yet to tame his sleep-disheveled hair.
At the sight of Loki, Barnes managed a half-grunt of acknowledgement, while Wilson offered a wave and a short greeting. Romanoff, ever the vigilant assassin, studied him with a dissecting gaze that made Loki suspect she already knew Loki was not there for breakfast.
Maximoff, hearing the others, glanced up from the paper and spotted Loki. “Morning Lo—“
“Maximoff, I require your assistance.” Loki skipped the pleasantries, having little interest in anything social at the moment.
Doing so, however, piqued everyone’s curiosity. Wilson sat up a bit taller in his seat. “Oh boy—“
“—What’s up?” Maximoff set the paper aside, giving Loki her full attention. Beside her, Romanoff glared at Wilson.
“It’s Theo.”
The soldiers shot each other an unreadable glance, Romanoff returned to studying Loki with her perpetually neutral, yet mildly suspicious gaze.
“What about Theo - is she alright?” Maximoff frowned, glancing down at her mobile and then returning her attention to Loki. “I texted her last night but she never got back to me.”
“She’s unwell, yet twice now she has refused my suggestions to see a healer.” Loki ran one hair through his hair, realizing as his fingers caught on a knot that he forgot to address his own tangled tresses. “I’m hoping you might talk some sense into her.”
“Care to elaborate?” Romanoff shot Loki an expectant glance, one meticulously groomed brow arching to emphasize her question.
“Vomiting, fever, chills, fatigue,” Loki rattled off the list of symptoms he observed, careful to keep a neutral tone. “I suspect some aches and pains, though she did not admit to it.”
“Why’d she tell you that she’s sick, but not Wanda?” Barnes, notably more awake than when Loki first arrived, narrowed his eyes at Loki. “She tells Wanda everything.”
“She didn’t tell me,” Loki flatly answered, mirroring Barnes’s stare. “I had been on my way to the sitting room when I heard a commotion in her quarters and investigated; the noise was Theo stumbling to her washroom to be ill - I found her hunched over her toilet.”
Maximoff hummed, sounding appropriately concerned. “When was this?”
“Last night.”
“And you didn’t tell me then?” Maximoff practically leapt to her feet, abandoning her breakfast on the countertop as she rounded the breakfast bar and broke into a stride.
“Wait—” Loki called to Maximoff, who had somehow nearly reached the corridor, “— Where are you going—“
“To check on her,” Maximoff replied over her shoulder, “obviously.”
“She is not in her quarters,” Loki warned, to which the Scarlet Witch stopped in her tracks and turned back to the him.
“If she isn’t there,” Romanoff asked, adopting a skeptical expression, “where is she?”
Loki sighed; he hadn’t wanted to explain this in front of a crowd, but it did not seem like he had much choice. He steeled himself for the sarcastic comments that his peers would undoubtedly make in response before he answered. “In mine.”
“Whoa whoa whoa, back up—“ Barnes interjected, “— why is she in your bed?”
“Because it was the only way I could convince her not to spend the night on her bathroom floor.” Loki dryly replied.
“You couldn’t convince her to go back to her own bed?” Wilson questioned, his suspicion clear in both tone and facial expression. “Aren’t you supposed to be a silver tongue or some shit?”
“The charm of a silver tongue requires that both parties are of sound mind—“ Loki rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. “— I suspect she was delirious with fever.”
“Enough, we’re going—“ Maximoff turned, starting down the hall without bothering to check whether or not Loki followed.
A few rapid strides brought Loki alongside Maximoff, whose hurried pace was no match for Loki’s long legs.
Mutters of “this I’ve gotta see,” along with scraping chair legs, came from behind as Barnes, Wilson, and Romanoff rose to their feet, catching up to the pair of sorcerers with a light jog.
Begrudgingly, Loki allowed everyone into his quarters. An audience as Maximoff tried to talk sense into Theo seemed a bit inappropriate, but Loki doubted that he could effectively make the case without additional teasing, and he lacked the patience for such asinine behavior.
After allowing the others to step into the bedchamber, Loki followed and closed the door behind him. Audible, gasps and worried murmurs filled the air as the others saw Theo’s state for themselves.
In the time Loki had been away, Theo rolled over to the side of the bed with the waste bin, kicking some of the blankets off of herself and tangling others around her legs in the process. A sheen of sweat had taken up residence upon her brow, glittering in the morning sun. In the new position, the bruise upon her cheek looked as if a spotlight had been shone upon it. She appeared no less ill than before, and the evidence of the prior night’s tears remained fully on display.
Were it not for the faintly visible rise and fall of her chest, it would have been easy to assume she was deceased.
“Damn,” Barnes’ prior amusement faded, color draining from his face as his eyes scanned over Theo’s appearance.
“She looks rough,” Wilson stated the obvious, his eyes wide and lips turned down at the sight.
“You see the reason for my concern.” It was the rare occasion where Loki did not relish being able to prove his point, as this involved the suffering of a friend. He hadn’t ever seen Theo come undone in such a manner, and even at that moment he had no desire to ever see it again.
Meanwhile, Maximoff crouched down beside the bed, resting one hand on Theo’s shoulder. “Theo?”
Theo whimpered, shifting slightly before barely cracking one eye open.
“Hey,” Maximoff offered a small, concerned smile, “heard you’re—“
The unmistakable sound of retching silenced Maximoff mid-sentence as Theo lurched toward the edge of the bed and buried her face into the waste bin.
“Oh, detka —“ Maximoff rubbed Theo’s back as Theo vomited yet again. How Theo had anything in her stomach to expel after her previous bouts of illness, Loki had no idea, but apparently something had been there.
In the midst of everything, Romanoff had taken a seat on the floor, steadying the waste bin with one hand while resting the other hand on Theo to ensure she did not fall out of bed.
A shaky sigh came from Theo, whose head still remained in the bin. She remained in place, body trembling from either chills or exertion, as if she thought the fit had passed but she was not ready to push it.
“Theo?” Maximoff tried again, continuing to rub Theo’s back.
“What?” Theo groaned, her voice notably quiet.
“You seem pretty sick…”
“It’s a migraine.” Theo hesitantly lifted her head from the bin, then listlessly rolled onto her back and covered her eyes with one arm. “Give it a couple days, it’ll pass.”
“You have a fever,” Romanoff pointed out, “Migraines don’t cause fevers.”
“Mine do,” Theo muttered.
Maximoff and Romanoff shared an uncertain glance, both turning to look at Loki for a moment before exchanging a second uncertain glance.
“If it takes a couple days to pass, does that mean Loki’s not getting his bed back?” Wilson broached the subject, diverting the conversation from concerns of Theo’s illness towards the much less significant matter of occupying Loki’s quarters.
Romanoff, Maximoff, and Loki all shot Wilson their most venomous glares in an attempt to silence him, lest he make matters worse. In response, Wilson’s eyes grew wider, only then realizing his error.
“Shit.” Theo pulled her arm away from her eyes, cracking them open just enough to take in her surroundings; with a wince, she closed them and returned her arm to its original position. “Forgot about that… Sorry.”
The latter part of her statement was obviously directed at Loki, even though Theo hadn’t actually looked at him; that being said, she hadn’t looked at anyone during the interaction, so it did not seem to be an attempt to ignore or avoid him.
“Give me a minute,” Theo pressed herself up to sit, her arms trembling with the effort required to the degree that the prospect of walking back to her quarters seemed absurd at best. “I’ll go back to my room…”
She turned to set both feet on the floor, drawing in a deep breath before she tried to stand—
— Key word tried, because had it not been for Romanoff’s proximity and lightning reflexes, Theo would have ended up in a crumpled heap on the floor.
Instead, Romanoff caught Theo, gracefully steadying Theo while Romanoff rose to her feet.
“Let’s not overdo it, Kotik,” Romanoff quietly tutted, easing Theo down to sit on the bed, with her back against the headboard to support her body.
Face flushed crimson, Theo curled in on herself and wrenched her eyes shut. Her lower lip quivered as she drew in, then let out a shaky breath.
“Boys, out—“ Romanoff directed, pointing at the door as she narrowed her eyes at the trio.
Barnes and Wilson, all too familiar with Romanoff’s threatening tone of voice, wasted no time making their exit. Loki, however, hesitated; after all, he had every right to remain. The outcome of this conversation impacted him.
Romanoff glared at Loki, jutting her chin out towards the door, but Loki crossed his arms.
“This is my bedchamber. And, might I remind you, I was the one who tended to her last night.” Loki quietly challenged, mirroring Romanoff’s glare.
“Nat, it’s fine,” Theo sniffed, half-heartedly wiping at her eyes. Romanoff turned to Theo, frowning while Theo continued her attempts to gather herself. “He’s right.”
Romanoff sighed disapprovingly, but relented, returning the rest of her attention back to the bed.
“Detka, I know you don’t want to, but you really need to go to the doctor,” Maximoff sat on the edge of the mattress and brushed a few loose strands of hair away from Theo’s face. “Please— what if the person who attacked you had poison on his blade or—“
“No,” Theo weakly shook her head, eyes glassy and her voice pleading as she looked at Maximoff, then Romanoff, and finally at Loki. “It’s my fault. I used too much magic.”
Oh.
Upon the revelation, Maximoff and Loki shared a knowing glance.
Overuse of one’s magic - a situation Loki had experienced a time or two in his life, and not one he was keen to repeat if he could help it. Not only was it horrendously unpleasant - each instance rendered him completely invalid for days on end — but the embarrassment that came from one’s weaknesses being on full display brought about a shame that to this day, Loki could not shake.
“It was stupid—“ Theo wiped her eyes and swallowed thickly. “—I’m sorry—“
“It’s alright,” Loki quickly reassured, forcing what he prayed was a comforting smile. “Maximoff and I are no strangers to the effects of overextending ourselves.”
“Yeah, but I kept you up all night and then took over your room because I was freaked out from a nightmare—“ A hitching breath cut Theo off, accompanied by a pair of tears streaking down her cheeks, “—and now you’re stuck with me invading your private space for days while I puke my guts out because I can’t even walk back to my room—“
“How about this,” Maximoff gently interrupted, not an ounce of reproach in her voice; she paused to brush away one of Theo’s tears. “We’ll help you back to your bed. Once you’re settled in, we’ll call a doctor to come up and prescribe you something to manage your symptoms until you’re back to feeling like yourself - they've done it for me when I pushed myself too hard, and it really helps.”
“Besides, it sounds like we owe you a girl’s night with lots of ice cream and complaining about men,” Romanoff added with a wink. “That can’t happen until you’re healthy again.”
Theo narrowed her eyes at Romanoff, brows pinching together as she mulled over Romanoff’s remark. “How’d you know?”
“The internet,” Romanoff answered, then added: “Sounds like he was an ass about it.”
A quiet, watery laugh snuck out of Theo; with a small sniffle, she nodded.
“Luckily, you have a list of super soldiers and gods who would be more than happy to put Chris in his place,” Maximoff commented with a smile that somehow was both tender and mischievous. “And who would happily help you back to your bed. Take your pick.”
Theo looked up at Loki, a silent request in her eyes.
Romanoff followed Theo’s gaze. “Loki?”
“I’m willing to assist.”
Once Loki scooped Theo into his arms and they confirmed she wasn’t about to be ill, the trio emerged from Loki’s bedchambers to find Wilson and Barnes sitting there, staring at the door.
“Where to?” Wilson slapped his hands on his knees before standing, his attention darting from the members of the group to Theo, curled up in Loki’s arms.
“Theo’s room,” Maximoff answered, leading the group to the corridor.
“No doc?” Barnes questioned as he trailed behind.
“Making a house call,” Romanoff replied over her shoulder.
The soldiers and the widow waited in the main room of Theo’s quarters while Loki and Maximoff brought Theo to bed, only for Maximoff to dismiss Loki as soon as Theo had been set down upon her bed.
This time, Loki did not protest, though he did offer Maximoff a curious glance before taking his leave.
In Theo’s main room, Romanoff stood by the window, one arm crossed in front of her while the other held her mobile to her ear, mid-conversation with what Loki assumed was someone from the infirmary. The soldiers had made themselves at home on Theo’s sofa, snickering to themselves as they discussed something in voices too low for Loki to hear.
At the click of the door latch, both soldiers’ attention snapped to Loki, both wearing smug grins that made Loki’s hair stand on end.
“Out with it,” Loki grumbled, knowing one or both of the men had some snide remark on the tip of their tongue.
“I can’t believe you brought someone back to your place with no plans to hook up.” Wilson’s grin only widened as he spoke, eyes glinting and tone deceptively light.
“I’m not such a monster to abandon someone in a time of need,” Loki scoffed, opting to lean against a wall with arms crossed to maintain as much distance between them as possible.
“Never said you were,” Wilson held his hands out in a placating gesture, infuriatingly wide smile still on display. “It’s—“
“Dr. Harper should be here in a few minutes,” Romanoff interrupted, approaching the rest of the group while returning her mobile to her pocket. “A crowd isn’t necessary; Wanda and I can take it from here.”
“Fine, fine,” Barnes relented, rising to his feet. Wilson echoed his movement moments later, grumbling to himself about having to leave. “We’ll get outta your hair.”
Barnes and Wilson departed; Loki, however, did not budge.
“If it’s alright, I’d rather see this through,” Loki explained, after Romanoff gave him a curious look.
“Suit yourself,” she shrugged, taking up residence in the seat which Barnes abandoned hardly a minute before, perfectly content to sit in silence as they waited.
I'll be there in the hеat of the cold war
I wanna be the onе that you're flipping your coin for, hey
And if money is time, then I'm burning mine
When you're off the line and I'm drinking mine, and
I'm gonna see that we get all we deserve
'Cause baby you know that I'm a man of my word, so
Dr. Harper was someone Loki had seen in passing when he’d stop into the infirmary to visit with Theo, but he’d never spoken to Theo’s colleague. Over the time since Loki befriended Theo, he gleaned that the pair of doctors were friends, knowing each other from before either doctor worked in the infirmary.
To his surprise, the doctor did not knock before entering Theo’s quarters, strolling in as if she were right at home. Clad in black scrubs and a crisp white overcoat, and with raven hair twisted into a loose bun, Dr. Harper looked as if she came straight from the emergency ward, right down to the small duffle bag slung over her shoulder.
If Dr. Harper was concerned about Theo, she didn’t show any outward signs, casually greeting Romanoff and Loki with a quick wave before disappearing into Theo’s bedchambers.
Recognizing that it would likely be some time before any news, Loki finally abandoned his spot leaning against the wall in favor of the empty space on the sofa. If he were alone, he’d investigate the options on Theo’s bookshelf for something to entertain him, but with Romanoff around he did not wish to raise any suspicion.
Loki clasped his hands together in his lap, leaned back into his seat, and closed his eyes.
The faint hint of vanilla, likely from the plethora of candles Theo loved to burn, tickled his nose, as did the scent of fresh flowers. Beneath that, hints of coffee and something spiced - reminiscent of Theo’s perfume - caught Loki’s attention.
He smiled to himself, slowly drawing in another deep breath and basking in the smell. Sitting in the quiet, Loki eventually found himself floating in a place that wasn’t quite dozing, but wasn’t quite awake either; had it not been for the faint creak of door hinges interrupting the peace some indeterminate amount of time later, he very well might have fallen asleep then and there.
“Did he fall asleep?” Maximoff whispered, completely dragging Loki out of the comfortable state he’d settled into.
“No,” Loki sighed, blinking his eyes open to find all three women - Romanoff, Maximoff, and Dr. Harper - looking at him. He sat up a bit, rolling his shoulders as he adjusted in his seat. “I presume there is a reason you’re all gathered here?”
“You wanted to know what the plan was,” Romanoff said, some strange sense of amusement glistening in her eye. “We’re discussing the plan.”
“Good news is this can be dealt with here - honestly, between her photosensitivity and phonophobia, all the bright lights and sounds in the hospital would make her feel worse.” Dr. Harper explained, attention shifting between the trio of Avengers as she spoke. “I’m going to put in for a home care nurse to visit and set up an IV with fluids, as well as what we usually refer to as a ‘migraine cocktail’ - it’s a mix of medications meant to treat severe migraines. Even though she’s not technically experiencing a migraine, it will still help with her symptoms. I’ll note it as PRN so if the medicine wears off and symptoms return, all you need to do is call down and they can send someone up to run another round of medicine and likely some more fluids.
“The only concern I have right now is about dehydration. Right now, she’s pretty dehydrated, which if not addressed can cause serious complications. Even if she isn’t throwing up, sweating a lot without drinking anything can make dehydration worse.”
“How do we know if she’s getting worse?” Romanoff inquired.
“I’ll have the nurse bring a list of symptoms to watch for - if you see any of them, call us right away.” Dr. Harper replied, then added: “the nurse will also complete a brief exam when they start the infusion and when it finishes, plus they will periodically check in on her to make sure things are running smoothly. If you’re ever unsure, feel free to call or text me. I’ll give you my cell number.”
“Based on your report, it seems you’d like someone to look after her?” Loki ventured.
“Ideally, yes,” Dr. Harper confirmed. “You don’t have to have someone with her 24/7, since she’ll likely spend most of the recovery time sleeping — but checking in semi-frequently is a good idea.”
“Anything else we should do to help?” Maximoff asked, her attention fully focused on the doctor.
“There are a few things that I’d recommend,” Dr. Harper answered. “Keep the room dark and quiet to help with the sensitivity to light and sound. When she’s awake, try to have her drink as much as she can - ideally electrolyte drinks, but water and juice are also fine... I doubt she’ll want to eat, but if she is hungry and she’s not nauseous, stick to bland food and take it slow.
“Otherwise? If she’s tired, let her sleep, even if that means she’s sleeping 95% of the time. Sleep is crucial for healing.” Dr. Harper smiled at Maximoff. “Remember, if you have any questions along the way, you can always send me a message or give me a call.”
After exchanging contact information, Dr. Harper departed.
“I’ll stay with her for now,” Maximoff volunteered, “Lokes, you were up all night with her; you should go, catch up on sleep.”
“I’m fine,” Loki protested, hesitant to leave despite the knowledge that the situation had been addressed. “Truly—“
“You pretty much fell asleep on the couch and you were getting snippy with Sam and Buck,” Romanoff countered, “You get that way when you haven’t slept enough.”
“Go to bed — I promise, we’ve got this.” Maximoff offered Loki a hand and a reassuring smile. “You can stop by later if you want.”
Loathe as he was to admit it, his sleep deprivation had become rather burdensome.
Begrudgingly, Loki accepted the hand and allowed Maximoff to pull him to his feet. “If you insist, I will take my leave.”
Upon returning to his own quarters, Loki went to clean up the waste bin to discover that it had been taken care of for him. Instead of sitting beside the bed, the container had been returned in its usual location, a random drop of water indicating it had been washed, as well as with a new bag lining the interior.
The thought of someone in his quarters raised a bit of internal concern, but the relief of not needing to complete such a tedious task quickly overtook the discomfort.
A quick snap of his fingers closed the drapes, plunging the room into darkness. Loki didn’t bother to change into pajamas, instead stripping down to his boxers before collapsing atop the bed. He rolled onto his side and took a deep breath, surprised to find the lingering herbal scent of Theo’s shampoo, interspersed with the salt of clean sweat and a tinge of vanilla, had infused itself into his pillow.
For the second time in less than twenty four hours, Loki drifted into a pleasant, dreamless sleep.
If your bills are late
And you're low on steam
You know what they say
“Only the broke can dream”
And if time is money
And the math is right
You don't gotta spend your money
Baby, just spend the night, so
After three days of hiding away in her room while sleeping off the effects of overextending herself via magic, Theo felt well enough to emerge from her suite.
Having made the mistake of pushing herself too hard before, Theo knew it would take some more time to get her energy back, even after sleeping more in three days than she typically would in three weeks. But she no longer relied on medication to eliminate her nausea and pain, sudden lights or sounds no longer felt like someone drilling into her skull, and her fever broke sometime during the second day.
Feeling well enough, however, was not quite enough to inspire any adventures.
The lingering embarrassment of causing her own misery made Theo want nothing more than to hide away for an eternity, no matter how many times Wanda promised it wasn’t a big deal. One cursory glance at her phone showed an avalanche of notifications - news alerts about her and questions about if the rumors of her breakup were true. Being sick gave her an excuse to avoid talking about the breakup - after all, no one wanted to be that guy who made a sick person feel worse by bringing up a painful topic - once people realized she was feeling better, they’d jump on the chance to rub salt in the wound.
She hadn’t worked up the courage to look at any of the headlines, knowing that Chris’s most rabid fans would inevitably have plenty of nasty things to say about her. It probably didn’t help the gossip cycle that she hadn’t yet commented on the matter, but that was a bandaid she wasn’t quite ready to rip off.
And that wasn’t even getting into her embarrassment about what Loki saw, much less how she essentially stole his room from him for a night.
So, even though she’d been cooped up in her room for three days, Theo ignored the innate restlessness that came with recovery and stayed right where she was - laying in her bed, staring at her ceiling and contemplating the life choices that led her to her current state.
“I’m surprised you’re still in bed,” A low, velvet voice interrupted her brooding, prompting Theo to look over at the door.
Loki leaned against the door frame, arms crossed loosely and aventurine eyes sparkling as he regarded Theo with a soft smile. Dressed in a charcoal hoodie and dark, slim-fit jeans, he looked more than ready for a relaxing day at home.
Shit - Theo was not ready for this.
“You’re not one to remain stationary for long when you’re well,” Loki elaborated, leaning away from the doorframe as he studied her. “From what Maximoff told me this morning, you were supposedly feeling much better.”
“I do feel better,” Theo replied with a half-hearted smile and a small shrug.
“Yet, you remain in bed.” Loki stepped into the room, soft smile slowly shifting into a hint of a frown as his brows pinched together.
“I…” Theo faltered, unable to whip up some clever excuse or diversion. “Yeah, I’m still in bed.”
Loki perched himself at the edge of the mattress, shoulders tensing as Theo finally sat up in response. He watched, only looking more worried as Theo slid back to lean on the headboard, drawing her blankets up before looking back at him and forcing a smile.
“Is something the matter?” Loki seemed hesitant as he asked, searching Theo’s eyes for some unknown validation. “You seem quite distant. Have I done something wrong?”
“No!” Theo blurted out the answer without thinking, frantically shaking her head with enough vigor that Loki startled. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly before continuing. “No, you didn’t do anything wrong. If anything, I should be apologizing to you for the other night – it’s embarrassing that you had to deal with me when I was like that.”
Loki’s expression softened, and his shoulders relaxed a bit at the answer, though it wasn’t quite the level of ease that Theo had grown used to. “Why would you apologize?”
“Because you didn’t deserve for me to have a nuclear meltdown and to be stuck dealing with the aftermath,” Theo replied. “We give each other shit and joke around and talk about books - you didn’t sign up for me having a nuclear scale meltdown or picking my dumbass off the floor and making sure I was alright when it was my own damn fault that I felt awful to begin with. Honestly, I wasn’t sure you’d even want to look at me after that - I was a mess.”
As Loki listened to Theo’s explanation, his shoulders continued to relax, while the gentle smile from earlier made its return.
Before Loki replied, a quiet laugh – barely more than a puff of air – snuck out. “You forget who my brother is; he has most assuredly forced me to tolerate much worse, for far less noble reasons.”
“Puking out his guts and bawling his eyes out about a breakup with no explanation, then taking over your bed and preventing you from getting any sleep while getting his sweat and probably some vomit on it?” Theo skeptically challenged, narrowing her eyes at Loki.
He laughed, hiding his smile behind one hand as he shook his head. “Darling, when it comes to Thor, that wouldn’t even break the top 100.”
“I’m not sure I believe you, but alright,” Theo conceded; Loki’s answers had eased a bit of her embarrassment, but she wasn’t entirely over the discomfort. “Either way, thanks– for the other night, and for not making me feel worse about it afterwards.”
“Of course,” Loki answered like he had been thanked for something simple like handing Theo a pencil, not dropping everything to be there for Theo when she completely fell apart. He opened his mouth to speak, paused for a moment, then added: “Has it occurred to you that you give all your time, compassion, and energy to caring for others in their time of need, without judgment, yet you refuse to consider that others might be willing to do the same for you?”
Theo, caught off guard by Loki’s observation, laughed nervously.
“That’s a conversation for my therapist.” She tried to make it sound like a joke, hoping that Loki would get the hint to drop the subject for the moment.
“Are there other matters that keep you confined to your bed, or are those only discussed with your therapist?” Loki tried, infusing a similarly lighthearted tone to his question.
Knowing Loki, he’d figure it out sooner or later; no use in delaying the inevitable.
“I’m not ready for the questions and comments about Chris,” Theo admitted, staring down at her hands as she wrung them in her lap. “Or the pity looks that come with getting dumped. Or people’s reactions to learning I literally made myself sick from magic.”
The bed shifted beneath Theo; she looked up to find Loki moving to sit beside her, intentionally leaning over to bump her shoulder with his.
“You’re not the first Avenger to endure heartbreak - the others know well enough to let you address the matter on your terms. Though I will say, Romanoff and Maximoff have an arsenal of insipid - truly, downright asinine romantic comedies ready for when you want to partake in your quote-unquote girl’s night.” Loki chuckled to himself as he continued: “Additionally, Belova and Barnes have started a competition of who can come up with the most overly-elaborate revenge schemes; I’m certain they would love to indulge you if you’re feeling particularly spiteful. Even Rogers has contributed an idea or two.”
The thought of Steve, of all people, proposing a revenge plot coaxed a real laugh out of Theo, which in turn widened Loki’s grin.
“As for the rest of Midgard, they are not even aware you were ill; they simply think you’ve been occupied with matters related to the Avengers, and far too busy with truly important work to concern yourself with a pathetic Midgardian who could not even show you the respect of ending the relationship face-to-face.” Loki added, his tone shifting to downright disgust as he described Chris.
“You sound pissed at him…” Theo commented, not sure what to make of Loki’s sudden shift in temper.
“I will admit, I may have assisted in the development of a few of Barnes and Belova’s revenge fantasies.” Just like that, Loki returned to his usually clever self, offering Theo an impish grin to accompany his wry remark. “But we need not discuss further, if you wish.”
“Maybe later.” Without thinking, Theo let her head tilt to the side, resting on Loki’s shoulder; the conversation with Loki had alleviated some of her worries, enough to make her reconsider the decision to stay in bed. “A change of scenery would be nice.”
Loki turned to Theo; with the angle of her head upon his shoulder, Theo could feel Loki’s satisfied grin as it curled over his lips.
“I knew you wouldn’t stay hidden away for long,” Loki murmured, his breath a comforting warmth upon Theo’s scalp. He sat up and away from the headboard, rising effortlessly from the bed before offering a hand to Theo and helping her to her feet. His hand found a place on the small of her back as they walked through Theo’s suite, reminding Theo of all the other times Loki naturally looked out for her, all the while never making her feel uncomfortable or guilty about it. It struck her that for so long, Loki was seen as a bad person because of past events, but the reality was that anyone would be lucky to have him as a friend - Theo certainly felt lucky to have him looking out for her.
Just before they reached the door, Theo turned to Loki and threw her arms around him, hugging him tight.
A small grunt of surprise came from Loki, though he returned the gesture without missing a beat.
“I know I said it before, but really - thank you,” Theo tried to explain herself as she leaned away, cheeks heating up at how basic she sounded. “As embarrassing as the whole meltdown thing was, I’m glad you were the one there to help me through it.”
Loki leaned away as well, a sheepish smile on his face as he replied:
“I’m glad I was, too.”
Tell me, would you put your money on me?
Count it - one, two, three
Both of us are trouble with a capital “T”
But you're safe with me
I wanna know baby, would you count on me?
'Cause I'd bet on you, baby, that's easy money
That's easy money
—————
Author’s Note: Hello friends!
I'm trying something new - author's notes at the end of the chapter instead of the beginning.
Last week had all of the hurt, this week has lots of comfort and soft fluff. And Sam and Bucky being Sam and Bucky. 😂🥰
Here’s the deal: I’m about to head into the busiest time of year for work (between the 18th and 29th of March, I will not have any days off and will clock about 120 hours of in-person meetings and events - that isn’t including things that I need to finish independently); in addition, my capstone and independent study report for my master’s are due on April 19th, followed by my master’s portfolio on April 26th.
Over spring break I tried to write ahead as much as possible, but I haven’t made the progress I was hoping to make. As it is, this chapter is just sliding in before the end of the night. With that in mind, I’m hoping to sneak a chapter out once I have the chance to flex some time at work in a few weeks, but in the absolute worst case scenario, that first weekend in May is reading period for my students and when my schedule completely clears out, so I’ll definitely be able to share something then!
Anyways, thanks for your patience, and hope you enjoy <3 reblogs are always appreciated, and lmk if you want to be added to the tag list!
