WEREWOLF SANTA (2023) Reviews of British comedy horror and release date
‘Season’s eatings’
Werewolf Santa is a 2023 British comedy horror film in which the titular monster wreaks havoc in a small seaside town on Christmas Eve.
Written, directed and co-produced by Airell Anthony Hayle (Satan’s Grotto; Midnight Peepshow; They’re Outside). Also produced by Dovile Kirvelaityte.
The Haunted Cinema production stars Mark Arnold, John Bloom aka Joe Bob Briggs, Emily Booth,…
Summary: Yazawa Family has a cozy night in. Mama Yazawa invites visitors.
Chapter Nine: WereSanta
"Can I put red blood drops like there's fangs, Sis?" Cocoa pushed her half finished doll into Nico's view.
"Sure." Nico took a piece of balsa wood and glued a small wooden orb to the top, to make a base very like a traditional Kokeshi doll. She then glued a loop of string to the back of the wood and put it in a pile for her siblings to personalize them with drawn on facial expressions and fabric capes or other clothes. Cocoa was building a vampire army, Cocoro was diligently adding patches to multicolored capes, and Cotarou was inventing new games to play with Nico's raw materials. Idol music played over the speakers, everyone taking breaks to sing and dance along when a favorite came on. Mama Yazawa was preparing dinner, a curry, so deliciously spicy sweet smells made preparing hundreds of identical dolls less tedious. Outside the wind howled as a storm hurried in, making the inside of the Yazawa's row house seem even cozier.
"Where will these be?" Cocoro asked, now with a large enough pile of capes to begin dressing dolls.
"Nico is planning to hang them from the ceiling on the second floor, raise them and drop them down on people at random intervals. Make sure you use some of the paint that shows in a black light. I want it to be disturbing. And then we'll give them to people to take home at the end."
"Oooh, I want to make the most that people take home." Cocoa announced.
"Vampires are popular."
"But what about werewolves? Asked Cocoro, a big Wednesday fan.
"If you want to make little Enids, just glue some white or yellow fabric pointy ears."
"And put those next to the vampires, it'll look like Wednesday and Enid." Cocoro reached for lighter colored fabrics.
Nico chuckled. She'd have to work more Addams themed things in to surprise her sibs. Maybe create dangerous looking plants. She wondered what Maki would think about an oversized Venus flytrap looming over her piano keys.
"Oh, Nico's new friend is going to bring her friends over for a game night sometime. We're going to have a championship. Cotarou's met her. She's a Donkey Kong main."
A spoon suddenly clanged against a pot and then Mama Yazawa was leaning over the kitchen bar, "A new friend?"
"Just someone who works in the building next to Nico."
"Maki." Cotarou volunteered.
"So did you officially invite this Maki over or just leave it open ended?"
"Mama, Nico is busy."
Mama Yazawa's glare could not be bested. Nico grabbed her phone.
"Talk, not text."
"Mama, no one…"
"Talk."
Nico hit "call' and after two rings, Maki's voice, smooth with a tremble of nervousness answered.
"Hi."
"Hi Maki. It's Nico. My Mama wants to know when you come over for game night…"
"And dinner."
"And dinner." Nico rolled her eyes.
"Oh, um, well, I wasn't expecting this but I haven't eaten yet and Rin's coming over and …."
Nico waited.
Maki's next words rushed out. "We could be there soon. What's your address?"
"Um, no wait. Nico didn't…"
Now slower and sadder Maki tones, "Nico didn't…"
Nico glared at her mother who was smiling brightly and nodding, as if she had overheard Maki jumping to the conclusion that the invitation was for tonight.
"Nico?" Hesitant, soft.
Fuck it. Faint heart never won anything.
"Nico was just afraid your friend wouldn't be around."
"Oh no, she's good!" Maki's voice inflated with cheerfulness. "RIn's almost here, we're deciding on pizza, but we haven't called yet."
"Well, Mama's making curry enough for a dozen. So don't worry about the pizza."
"Mama?" Nervousness again.
"Nico can probably convince her not to crush you on the Rainbow Road."
A cute laugh and Nico's mood soared.
"Just wait, Nishikinos never lose."
"Neither does Nico. Prepare yourself for watching Nico speed away from you at every track."
"Text me your address."
"Nico's on it."
Call ended. Nico stared into space, wondering exactly how that happened. She focused on her mother who was watching her with a mischievous smirk.
"What did you make Nico do, Mama?"
A wink, followed by a question. "Did you send Maki our address?"
Nico typed automatically, then stared at the doll assembly line in front of her, "Hand Nico some fabric, Cocoro. Let's finish the ones I glued before Maki and her friend get here."
"Friends." Cotarou began to draw smiling faces.
########################
"NO PIZZA! How will I survive?" Rin wailed. "Oh wait, that's you."
Maki regretted putting away the Nerf guns she used to keep around to shoot at Rin. But pillows would do.
"We're going to bring pizza. It's rude to show up empty handed." Maki swerved from throwing the pillow at Rin to crushing her face into it. "Why did Nico decide to call? I just saw her."
Rin stretched out across the far side of the sectional, "Maybe her sibs were excited about the game night. Should I call Kayo-chin? I miss her."
Maki rolled over, dropping the pillow to the floor, staring at the ceiling, "She's finishing up the coding for the game launch."
"Oh yeah. Crouched over her computer until dawn. She's a comma now." Rin giggled.
Maki rolled onto her side, glaring at her bff, "Don't you worry when Hanayo's got a super busy schedule?"
Rin did the same roll, "If I walk in the door and she's superstressed I give her a big hug and feed her extra rice. She's been eating a lot of rice."
"Because she's super stressed. Maybe you should do more than feed her rice."
"She wouldn't want pizza."
"That's not…" Maki sat up, "Aaaarrgghh, just pull her away from her computer when you get home and distract her."
"I know what Kayochin needs." Rin kicked out, prickly suddenly, "We don't need another burnout like yours."
A long silence.
Maki shoved up off the furniture. "I'm gonna go change. Order something from Finocchiaro's we can pick up."
"What does Nico like?"
Maki paused in the doorway to her bedroom, "Coffee?"
"Can't put coffee on pizza." Rin started muttering. "Stoopid Maki and she's telling me what Kayochin needs."
"What'd you say?"
"Pineapple?"
"Gross. Just order their five most popular pizzas and a double sauce for me."
Rin did math. "Nico has three siblings? That's a pizza a person."
"Sounds right."
Maki pulled a cross stitched patterned ugly Christmas sweater hoodie over her head but the colors were off, purple and red and black. As she got closer, Rin saw the shirt was covered in bats, wolves, blood moons, and werewolf Santas.
"That's a weird hoodie, Maki, Christmas but creepy Christmas. Are you trying to cancel Halloween? We get candy."
"I had Kotori's graphic designer make the pattern. She's going to do a whole Werewolf Santa t-shirt series. Versus Krampus."
"You're weird, Maki."
"Order the pizzas in the car. Let's go."
"It's too early for Christmas."
"Says losers."
"Why not a Santa Pizza Delivery hoodie? With sleighs and pizzas and brick fired chimney ovens. That way you wouldn't be naughty stealing a holiday. Or get in trouble with Santa for delivering presents early. Just delivering pizzas regular. Like we are." Rin smirked. "We're pizza elves. Make me a hoodie. That says "Santa's Staff" on the back."
"No."
"You're a weirdo who thinks Santa's a werewolf." Rin stuck out her tongue. "Naughty no pizza list."
"Get in the car. Nico'll think we're ditching."
"And you wouldn't want Nico thinking that." Rin shove pushed Maki out the door, "Strike two for Santa's naughty list."
"Nico's not Santa."
"She'd look cute in one of those costumes, the short ones."
"Get in the car."
Rin always knew when to start running.
A/N: Year of the Snake is winding down. Had to switch out Midsummer for a night of Chekhov one acts. 15th Anniversary Tribute Soldier Game cover by Ado is fire.
