i couldn’t quite decide on a pb so now there’s those 4 ur eyes!!!!
holla!!! this is earnest sebastian longbottom
once told a lady his name was wilde foreyouw (and she asked him if it was italian - he said no it’s like that gay painter who once banged a bloke named dorian because this kid is cultural)
he’s 21, pureblood and a former hufflepuff
works as a busboy at a london muggle bar
he views himself as his generation’s edward cullen; he’s still waiting for some girl to drag him to the forest and scream i know what you are - a - a vampire!!! (except edward cullen doesn’t exist yet but you get the deal)
he’s kind of got this romantic idea in his head that he can protect people where he is by sort of being a ~a secret wizard
he rents a small room in london that is purely muggle stuff, he’s got a newfound love for muggle movies: the only thing that connects him to the wizarding world is his wand which he always carries with him
once a girlfriend called him out on always carrying a bloody stick around with him - he told he the truth about what it was but with a voice dripping sarcasm: she didn’t believe him, so he ended up admitting he used it for back scratching
he sympathizes with the order but wouldn’t dare joining them
he wants to escape the brewing war and handling it with inappropriate humor (read: sex), obscenities and ironic distance
he’s been with more girls than he wants to admit
he hates confrontation hence he avoids any comitting relationship (which doesn’t always work)
girls always make excuses for him because he “””used to be such a sensitive guy”””
from year 3 to 6 he was part of the hufflepuff quidditch team as the beater but he dropped it because smoking gillyweed was just much more fun
he reads bad porn (ala 50 shades) for lols and then sometimes he reads it to neville but replaces all the dirty words with ‘duck’ >:|
in school he was so chill (read: there was a lot of anger he never dealt with) so that’s there somewhere under his easy smiles: he could potentially do dumb things because of his rage
blames himself because he didn’t get into gryffindor (it’s a sign he isn’t as brave as frank) but whenever people have asked him if it bothered him he would just say nahh man hufflepuff’s chill
pb will probably be serge rigvava or mats snippenberg or anybody walking for dior basically
