Out of the Shadows (Into the Light) - A Grant Ward Redemption Fic
AN: Just a snippet of what I’ve been working on—a long fic (M-rated) dedicated to helping Grant Ward find redemption alongside his former S.H.I.E.L.D. partner, the live wire Inhuman Olivia Murphy (OC), as they set out on a new mission: bringing an end to HYDRA and finally getting themselves some closure. They are the relationship equivalent of a shaken up can of soda and a bag of funyuns (Guess which is which, it’s won’t be hard.) This fic is primarily set post season 1, and maintains most of the season’s canon up until 1x22: “Beginning of the End”.
“Olivia," Ward says more firmly.
Murphy's eyes carry a tempestuous gleam as she shrugs exasperatedly. “I don't know what you want me to say, Ward—that I deal with my trauma just fine? That I crack jokes to keep things light and funny, even though all I see when I close my eyes is a highlight reel of the horror shit show that happened at the Asylum?"
She steps up in front of him, nearly toe-to-toe, and tilts her head to look up at him. Storm clouds swirl before her eyes flash with indignance. "At least I don't deal with my trauma like a washed-up, emotionally-inept high school quarterback who thinks his coach's dream of seeing him make it in the big league is all he could have ever hoped to achieve in life.”
The room would be suffocatingly quiet without a bottled natural disaster like Olivia Murphy to keep things lively, and if the rickety old air conditioner weren't buzzing besiegely like a mechanical beehive held together by good old F&D—A whole lot of faith and duct tape.
When Ward opens his mouth, Murphy clamps it down with a sharply raised brow. She backs off, but her razor gaze never wavers.
It's a blessing in disguise, her silencing him. Gives him the opportunity to think, stay logical. Collect himself rather than act on what he'd rationalize as self-defense. Murphy's only lashing out because she feels backed into a corner. It's not him, it's her.
Ward has to be careful of his word choice because he feels like he's tightrope-walking on a power line, and if he so much as slips fourteen thousand volts could burn right through him. A pissed off Murphy is not one he's seen enough to familiarize himself with, even before she was taken by HYDRA, and the way she is now is like the hair-raising static charge in the air right before a lightning strike.
It would be easy, how deeply Ward could cut her. He's certain she knows it, too.
Despite how long it's been since Murphy’s death, Ward never threw out what he learned about her over the years. He's a bit of a packrat in that respect. His greatest weapon is his memory, though more specifically, all his little observances. When he picks up on something, he just can't seem to let it go. What he did know about Murphy he compartmentalized. Whether out of grief, shame, or mere sentimentality—or just for the sake of cleaning up the space—he can't say. He knows her ticks, her tricks, and most everything that would make her bleed. All he would have to do is dust off the folder with her name, and turn to the first page.
He could do it. He could absolutely eviscerate her.
There has only ever been one time when Ward has done it—torn into Murphy with everything he had. It was back at the S.H.I.E.L.D. Academy. When he had panicked about his attachment, about ruining his mission, about disappointing Garrett, about wanting a real friend. All because a young woman named Olivia Murphy decided to devastate his life.
He was vicious. He was cruel. He threw the whole damn book at her and laughed.
Garrett would have been proud.
It was fucked up that she even came back to him after that, though he did admittedly find a semblance of comfort in knowing she was almost as messed as he was. He's not sure Murphy would do that again today, not after everything she's been through. Not after learning all the things he's done. Not after learning the Ward she knew as her best friend for almost a decade was just HYDRA’s puppet. He was more real with her than anyone if he’s to be completely honest with himself. He's trying to make himself better for her, make himself good and real enough to her that she stays, and enough to convince himself that he feels worthy of it.
If he does that to Murphy now, verbally slaughters her, he's certain she'd never look twice at him again.
Her file is twice at thick now compared to what it was then. Even considering that makes him sick. Without another thought, Ward takes his file on Olivia Murphy and hurls it into the deepest, darkest depths of his mind—right where he keeps his worst memories. Because fuck that part of him to hell.
He hates it. He hates it. He—
Shame washes over him, humbling him like a day spent in a pillory.
God. He can’t ever do that to her. She’s all he has.
Hold a gun to his head, he doesn't care. He'll tell whoever is behind it to pull the trigger because he’d rather die than lose Olivia Murphy again.
