Missing what could have been....
I seriously thought I could just sit here and act like it's not bothering me, but it actually is. Like, a lot.
I haven't been able to keep him from my mind. I can't stop thinking about what could've been between us....
When we were separated it was one of the saddest moments of my life, and I'm not even kidding. I cried for a good day when he left. And now that he's back, I was hoping to pick things up where we left it off. But no.
I guess.... I guess I've just changed too much. I guess he's just changed too little.
I wonder how he'd react if I tell him I've self harmed, attempted suicide, have Generalized Anxiety, and potentially Bi-Polar.... My guess is not very good.
Maybe it's good he's found somebody else. I mean, who wants somebody like me? I'm moving in a year, anyway, so maybe this is for the best.
But still..... I fucking hate this.