one summers day
When we were younger, Kenji and I would take the train out to the countryside. His aunt worked at a farm, and was close with the family who owned it. Gabriel would take us, because Ms Mochizuki was always too tired to. But we would go every summer to that place near this enormous lake. We would spend every afternoon there swimming. There was a river nearby too, full of trout, and the old man of the farm would teach us how to fish for them, reeling them in with our scraggly arms, the undersides of their bellies white and gleaming in summer sun. Even though they were technically off-limits, we were allowed to play in the fields of canola. They use it to turn into oil, you know, but they didn’t really mind as long as we were careful not to pluck them from their beds. The owners of the farm liked to mix planting different things together- it’s better for the plants and the environment, apparently. I don’t know. I didn’t really care about that back then. I guess I still don’t. All I remember was playing in those fields with Kenji- we’d bring cardboard swords and we’d race each other from one side of the field to the other. His birthday was in August, and we always celebrated at the farm.
When we got older and a little bolder, we’d sneak in some drinks too, with our friends. Kenji had gone to Japan during the spring before his seventeenth birthday, and had fallen in love with shochu. It’s a specific drink that, when made with barley, leaves a smokey aftertaste. He loved it. We managed to order a couple bottles somehow. At the bottom of the barn, on the hard wooden floor, we all sat in a circle and passed the bottles around in the dead of night so that Gabriel or Kenji’s aunt or the owners of the farm couldn’t catch us. I could see the moon through the window. It was a full moon. We had a single candle in the middle of our circle, despite the flammability of the place we were in. And then, when it was five in the morning and dawn was already creeping in, that was when we would finally sleep, all curled together like a litter of kittens.
Gabriel had found us there in the morning, when we didn’t show up to help pluck the newly laid eggs from the hens. We were all still sleeping, and I think he’d been the one to drape the blanket over all of us, too, even if he won’t admit it. When we woke up, we were sent outside to just play instead of doing the farmwork. I’d forgotten it was our last day of summer. Can you believe that? Our last day at the farm before we had to go back to the city, because some of us had flights just two days after. We were all splitting up for university. I don’t think Kenji took it well, the fact that he was the only one staying behind, taking a gap year while working a job so he could get his life in order. He wanted to save some money so that he could attend school while still taking care of his mother. I should have stayed, back then. I should have cancelled my flight, applied somewhere else, and just stayed. I never should have left him.
When August came around, that first week of the sweltering month, Anik bought himself some flowers. Yellow and white, wrapped in a bouquet with a lace ribbon, made with the gentle hands of the old lady at the flower shop. Percy lingered behind him, hands in his sagging jeans, crop top riding dangerously high when he stretched his arms. He was waiting for Anik. He’d said today was supposed to be a good day, so he was going to buy flowers.
“I can pay for ‘em,” Percy offered, but Anik waved him off. “They’re not really for me,” he said.
“Then who are they for?”
Anik’s smile is soft and sunny like springtime after a long, cold winter. “A friend of mine.”
They walked back to the apartment together. Percy sees two out of the three moles displayed on Anik’s face; one on the corner of his right eye, the other on his neck, little dots shaped like hearts. Perhaps they look like that because love just seems to overflow out of him, bubbling like a never ending stream. Percy’s hand twitches with the urge to kiss each of them, and learn where the rest of his moles lie.
The summer breeze is cool against Percy’s skin. It’s nice- the first wind they’ve had in days. It sweeps past his hair and between the strands; it ruffles Anik’s buttoned shirt; petals shake and a few come loose, drifting away behind them as they cross between roads. He was glad to see Anik so happy, at least: he’d been somewhat off this whole summer. Withdrawn, quieter than usual. His eyebags got darker and deeper and it looked like he’d lost weight as well. Truthfully, it had frightened Percy a little bit. He recalled something that Deja had shared with him a year back-- after Anik returned from Canada during their first year, he had refused to eat. He would sleep the whole day, leaving only to use the restroom. Percy had feared Anik would slip back into that once more, but it seemed everything was okay. It was as though a weight was lifted from his shoulders, and he was finally at peace.
When they arrive home, Anik places the flowers in a vase, turning it around to face the window, so they could soak up the sun. He plucks something from the middle of the arrangement: small and soft pink. Percy can only watch as Anik tucks the flower behind his ear. He smiles.
“There. It suits you.”
Percy laughs. “You’re in a… really good mood today,” he notes.
Anik hums. “Yeah, well. I told myself I’d try to have a good day today.”
(Percy will see it days later, a mark on the calendar. August 8th circled in bright red marker, labled: Kenji’s Birthday in capital letters and a little flower doodle in purple pen beside it, presumably from Cameron. And Percy will make his way to Anik’s room, where the boy in question is at the table, organizing papers. And Percy will wrap his arms around Anik’s back, his face between his shoulder blades, torso pulled tight against his.
“What’s this about?” Anik sounds amused by Percy’s suddenly clingy behaviour.
“Nothing. I dunno. I’m just happy that you’re happy.”
It’s a full moon that night.)