anik gets totalled by a fever lol
a/n: kf au where all of the time travel bullshit is in combination with like, normal keyframes,,,, so if THAT part makes sense then thats good!! its not supposed to!!
When Anik woke again, he found himself disgustingly warm and foggy. His mind felt as though someone had wrapped tin foil around his brain and placed it in the microwave; he couldn’t remember how he’d gotten here, on his bed, changed into a new shirt and pants and a seemingly now lukewarm washcloth placed upon his forehead.
He blinked. Even the barest intrusion of light made the back of his eyelids burn with pain. Distantly, he could still feel the hot spray of Elijah Nightingale’s blood onto his work uniform. The cock of a gun. Arius’ mouth wide open, horrified. The dead boy’s image stared down at him, black hair framing his face as it fell forward, his eyes pale and unnatural.
Anik squeezed his eyes shut.
“Looks like someone’s awake.”
Anik groaned, his eyes still closed, and the man beside him chuckled- Anik could practically hear the smirk in Percy’s voice. He could hear Percy’s chair scraping against the floor; the tap of rain against the window.
Percy gently took the washcloth from Anik’s forehead and wrung the rest of the water out, before placing it into a separate bowl to soak. Then, he spread it over Anik’s skin once more, and the bitter cold was like a stinging pain. Anik sucked in a breath.
“Shh, I know,” Percy soothed. “I know it sucks, but we need to bring your fever down.”
Seeing that it would take too much energy to dignify himself with an intelligible response, Anik only hummed in meek protest. Percy laughed at his pain again. Never before has Anik been so tempted to commit a murder- he’s sure Gabriel’s myriad connections would save him from ever being caught.
A piercing pain interrupted Anik’s plans of homicide. It must have showed in his face, because Percy’s hand moved over Anik’s forehead, then his neck, trying to find what was wrong.
With all the strength he could muster, Anik lifted his hands to clasp onto Percy’s, guiding him to his eyes.
“Here,” Anik rasped. “Just-” he took Percy’s fingers and pressed them to his closed eyelids, and Anik sighed, content.
Percy continued to massage his fingers against Anik’s eyelids. Anik lowered his hands. He took slow and steady breaths as he layed there, a small smile working his way up to his lips as Percy went on.
“What happened, huh?” Percy said. His voice was incredibly soft- the softest Anik had ever heard it, which wasn’t often, because they were more frequently butting heads with each other, teasing and pushing and poking and prodding at the other. But Anik quite liked this: being pampered by Percy. He felt like he was on death’s train.
“Nothing t’ worry ‘bout,” Anik drawled. God, his voice sounded awful, as though someone had scraped his voicebox against stone. Even Percy winced.
“Deja said that you collapsed onto her when you came in. Downstairs neighbors were worried something happened because they could hear the suitcase fall.”
Figuring that Percy would get no straight answer from Anik about what happened, he switched tactics. “How was Canada?”
“Cold,” Anik mumbled. Percy chuckled.
“Really? But it’s spring.”
“Weather’s strange as fuck, that’s why,” Anik groaned. Percy brushed a few strands of hair from Anik’s forehead; his palm lingered on the side of his head, a safe distance from the washcloth. Anik leaned into the touch like a desperate dog.
“I should let you sleep,” Percy said. Anik didn’t say anything; didn’t feel the need to, as he felt the softest press of Percy’s lips against his temple.
Anik dreamt of the ocean. He dreamt of salt-water sprays and frothy seaform around his ankles. He dreamt of all of them together again, happy again, forever and always against an eternal summer.
He viewed this dream through a camera lens.
Sumirah and Kenji were in the center of the frame, their backs to him, hair blowing in the seabreeze. They were all wearing white, as though they were off to get married. Blond and black hair swaying and tangling with each other, their hushed laughter; Sumirah’s squeal of surprise as Kenji flicked water her way. She jolted back, and Kenji looped an arm around her waist to keep her there, smiling all the while. Arius and Elijah were a little ways away, playfighting in the water. Elijah knocked Arius to the ground, and they both came up laughing, like soaked little dogs.
Angie was behind him. Her angel wings were spread out like a dove.
“This is where you’ll always be,” she said.
Anik was happy with that answer. He didn’t mind being here, forever behind the camera. Forever trapped in a loop of time, as long as everyone else was still alive.
“That’s fine with me,” he said.
Angie’s smile was something Anik could never quite find the right words to describe. She wasn’t cold, not particularly, nor completely unfeeling as she liked to present herself to be. Though she tried to maintain her distance, there was always something warm lingering beneath the surface. Not quite there. Almost.
“Then I suppose I’ll have to update your contract, Praetor.”
Anik woke again and saw Sumirah staring down at him. A hand cupped his cheek, brushing a stray tear away- Anik hadn’t even realized he was crying. Sumirah looked as lovely and lively as she did in life, pink eyes narrowing into soft crescent moons as she smiled down at him.
“Don’t cry… that’s my job, remember?”
She looked hazy around the edges, like some far off dream. A blur around her smile, her pink cardigan slipping off one shoulder, white dress scrunching up where she sat on the edge of his bed.
With great effort, Anik lifted his hand to cover hers. She’d always been so sensitive; there were tears pinpricking her eyes. Even since they were children, Anik could never bear the sight of her crying. It was pathetic in the most heartbreaking way possible.
“ ‘M not crying, Sumi,” Anik grumbled.
She was wearing the same dress as the one in Anik’s dream. Maybe she and Kenji really were getting married. Suddenly, he became distantly aware of the faint cold press of a ring against his cheek.
“Mm… you and Ken are gettin’ married or what?” he smiled, groggily.
“We are… at some point. We’re still young. I’ve still got school to think about,” Sumirah hummed. “But I do want to marry him.”
“Want me to be your maid of honor?”
That got a laugh out of Sumirah. It sang and tinkled like a windchime against the porch of his old home.
“Maybe,” she mused, “but only if you wake up.”
He felt someone press their knuckles against the side of his neck, and Anik whined in protest. A long, soft sigh followed.
“He’s burning up like crazy,” the voice said…. Reynah?
Reynah made a little noise of confusion. Anik turned his head to the side and found Reynah, Deja, and Cameron all huddled together on the side of his bed, all with matching looks of concern on their faces. He did not like this observation. He wanted to see Sumirah.
“Where… where did Sumi go?” he said. His voice was utterly hoarse. Anik felt tears gathering in his eyes, and never before has he felt more stupid. He didn’t want to cry; not in front of all of these people. He wanted at least some dignity left after this. Where could she have possibly gone? He thought- she was- she was right here. She was here, safe and alive and warm and soft. He thought he might have finally gotten at least one of his friends back.
Deja placed a tray on the bedside table with a soft little clink. Reynah turned to Cameron, mouthing, who is Sumi?
The smell of soup wafted through the air.
Brushing back his hair, Deja said, “Anik, we’ve brought you some food, okay? Can you sit up for us?”
Deja sighed, a low chuckle coming from Cameron. He felt their hands slide beneath his head and back, felt himself being lifted before being settled back down on the pillows, propped up this time. Anik lifted his eyes just enough to see Cameron hovering over them, a spoon in their hands.
Anik’s face wrinkled. “I can feed myself.”
Cameron’s eyes glinted with mischief. “Come on,” they prodded, “otherwise I’ll start making airplane noises at you.”
Anik’s top lip lifted, his expression deadpan. “Cameron.”
Anik closed his eyes, opening his mouth. He had long accepted defeat when it came to Cameron. The soup was delicious- he always loved Cameron’s cooking -and warm, and he could feel it go down his throat as Anik swallowed. It tasted vaguely of home.
Around the spoon, Anik asked, “Where did Sumi go?”
Cameron scooped up another spoonful of soup, eyes casted downwards. “Just focus on eating, okay? And then take a nap after. She… uhm, Sumi will be back when you wake up.”
Anik was satisfied with this answer- he was looking forward to it. With shaking hands, he took the bowl from Cameron and began to feed himself, eager to finish his meal and get on with his mandatory nap so that he may see Sumirah again. It had been so long since he last saw her. He still had to give her her planner she left at his house, the pink one with the lace around the border. He had so many things to tell her.
“Yes,” Cameron smiled, easing Anik back into a lying down position once he finished the soup. “You’ll see her after.”
The elementary school wasn’t very far from Anik’s house. He liked to take the twins there sometimes- it made him feel bigger than he actually was, and because Kenji was an only child and Sumirah already had an older brother, it made his friends feel bigger, too. They all held hands and walked single file as Yuna and Ryuko trailed behind them, a jump rope tied around their waists so as to make sure they wouldn’t get lost.
A blue dragonfly lands on the tip of Kenji’s nose; he squeaks, and the bug leaves as quickly as it came. His little pudgy hands fly up to his face in surprise, holding up the line of other small children behind him.
“What’d you do that for!” Anik cried out from the very back of the line. Gabriel and Matthias were trailing behind them, too engrossed in their own conversation to notice the grave offence Kenji had just made (even if the poor boy was unaware of it.)
“What! It surprised me!” Kenji defended himself. Sumirah peeked from behind Kenji, as if evidence of the dragonfly’s presence would still be on his nose. Yuna and Ryuko perked up as well.
“Dragonflies are lucky if you’re nice to them. You coulda gotten good luck!” Anik said.
Kenji puffed out his little toddler cheeks in offense, crossing his arms. “Wah?! Why didn’t ya tell me earlier?!”
A dragonfly perched itself onto the small corner of Anik’s eye. He could see its golden colouring from his peripheral vision; another landed on the apple of his cheek, a bright, blush pink.
“It’s okay,” Anik soothed. He tried to keep his voice as gentle as possible, so as not to scare the dragonflies away. “I’ll keep all the good luck for you.”
Gods, he felt like he was under water.
“I’m getting scared,” a voice above him said. “His fever is so high. Maybe we should take him to the hospital.”
Another low murmur sounded above him, and Anik couldn’t even bear the strength it took to open his eyes. He could feel the smallest flutter of wings on his face; he imagined them to be opalescent and translucent like a dragonfly.
“What’s his temperature right now?” This voice Anik could recognize with ease. Percy. It soothed something in him to know the other man was there. His finger twitched. Moments later, he could feel someone slide their hand over top of his, as if to still his movement. A thumb brushed over his knuckles, back and forth.
“103 degrees,” Deja said. He felt someone- Cameron? Anik guessed that it was Cameron -brush his bangs from his forehead. Anik tilted his head up. It was so, so hot, yet cold all at the same time, and he couldn’t decide whether to bury himself further in the blankets or kick them off. He let out an extremely undignified noise.
“You’re okay,” he heard Percy say. “Shh, you’re okay, Anik.”
Then, supposedly turning to Deja: “Isn’t it like, when your temperature is at 104 that you go to the hospital? I’m sure the fever will go down in an hour or so. It’s just spiking right now, that’s all.”
Anik had no idea what that was supposed to mean in celsius.
He lets out a little whine, eyes squinting against lights. He sees Percy’s face hovering over him, sees Deja and Jamie and Elio and Cameron all with him, and suddenly-
“Woah, hey!” Percy’s hands are on his face, wiping tears away. They just keep falling and falling, when he looks around the room and sees Sumirah isn’t here, Kenji isn’t here, nor is Gabriel or Matthias, and like a child, all he wants are his fathers. He wants to be a baby again. He feels a dragonfly crawl around his face. It leaves a trail of rotting skin as it moves. It hurts. He is disgusting.
Percy frantically wipes his tears away, and Anik replaces them with a fervor. With what strength he has, he cries, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” through gasping breaths, until Deja presses her lips into a thin line and says, “That’s it. We’re taking you to the hospital.”
Cameron looks horrified, takes Anik’s hand in theirs.
“You lied,” Anik heaves out. “She’s- she’s not here. None of them are here.” Realizing he had just snapped at his most gentlest friend, he sobs harder. “I didn’t mean to be mean. I’m sorry, Cameron.”
“Don’t be sorry. It’s okay, Anik,” Cameron’s voice wobbles. “Please don’t cry.”
Deja tells Percy and Elio to help Anik sit up. She wants to call an ambulance- it’s raining outside, it’s dangerous, it’ll make Anik feel even worse -but Jamie argues that the ambulence will just take longer to get here, and by then, who knows what will have happened to Anik. He feels Elio lift the blanket higher on Anik, and Anik lets out another undignified noise. It’s hot. It’s cold. Sumirah and Kenji are gone. Anik deserves to die.
Anik doesn’t hear the rest of anything after that moment.
His father is his executioner. He’d found the paperwork by accident shortly after Gabriel left to pick up Ryo from school, the edges of it peaking out through the side table’s drawer. Anik pulled it out and saw, in Angie’s looping cursive:
EXECUTION ORDER: ANIK RAHMAN-BISWAS. TO BE KILLED ON SIGHT.
ASSIGNED EXECUTIONOR: GABRIEL BISWAS
Anik doesn’t say anything, doesn’t tell Gabriel that he knew that his time had come, that they had figured out Anik was the cause for the rapid branching out of new timelines. He found it particularly ironic that they had assigned his father as his executioner, but what of it could Anik possibly complain about?
When Gabriel catches him unaware, just moments before Anik knows he is to fight Elijah’s Parasite, he scarcely puts up a fight. Gabriel sobs all the while, apologies tumbling down his lips in an animalistic desperation, pressing frantic kisses on the crown of Anik’s head in an attempt to soothe him, to distract him from the pain. He presses his hand against the wound on his side; the blood is warm.
“My baby,” Gabriel whisperes, “I’m so sorry- I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. You’ll see them soon, I promise. Kenji and Sumirah will see you soon, okay? Don’t be scared, hmm?” And as he spoke, Anik pretended to close his eyes, so that he didn’t have to look at Gabriel’s horrified expression when he realized what Anik was doing.
Anik didn’t have to turn his head to see Angie sitting on his desk, her legs crossed, wings tucked in to keep from knocking his things onto the floor. He could feel a phantom pain at his side, the ghost of a sword, the slick of blood.
“I’ve got a message from the Royal Family for you,” she hummed.
Anik kept his eyes on his ceiling, hands resting over his stomach. At some point, the blanket had been kicked half-way off. It was summertime now, and he was glad that Deja was outside more often than not. He wasn’t sure how he was supposed to explain to his roommate the presence of, quite literally, an angel.
“Tell Juno to fuck off,” Anik said, deadpan.
“It’s not from Juno. And anyway, you’ve been given a pardon.”
At this, Anik sits up. “What?”
“Mhm,” Angie shrugs. “What loop is this? I can’t remember. Anyway, the moment they figured out you were the reason there were so many splits in the timeline, they immediately set an execution order for you. They were still debating on whether to hand you off to Gabriel or Sumirah, but either way, Gabriel stepped in for you. He practically begged them to give you a pardon. And they did, as long as you stop all this time-looping nonsense.”
A dog wandered frozen streets, thin and shaking, ribs poking through its black fur. Some stray dog, nosing the pavement for scraps of food, because part of it, despite everything, simply couldn’t die. It wasn’t stubborness or a profound sense of purpose. Rather, it was, at the end of the day, instinct.
Lepus and polaris and paeonia. A deity born from grief- here I am reborn, as the goddess of Last Resort. If my wish truly did come true, then even I don’t have a single thing to worry about. Stupid rabbit, Anik thought. He split the goddess apart from his dearest friend, and began his quest once more. But, just before he did that- he slipped a small, silver band from her finger. A souvenir. Remembrance.
One more time. Let’s try this one more time.
“Anik,” Sumirah’s voice shook as she gripped him by the shoulders. Their weapons were disgarded, forgotten on the ground. Swords, guns, canisters of bullets lay spread like litter against a pure white plane. “Anik, I’m not asking you anymore. Take the pardon. I’m- I’m begging you. Just take the pardon. Live a good life. I’ll take care of the rest.”
Again, and again, and again. How much longer did Anik have to live like this, before he finally got it right?
“Don’t even try to say no to me right now,” Sumirah pressed even further, her nails digging into his skin.
“You hate being alone,” he choked out. I will not cry. “You’ll be all alone, up there. I don’t want to leave you and Kenji like that. I can’t stand it.”
Lepus, polaris, and paeonia. Dying dogs in cold, empty streets. Felis, a constellation found in 1799, is no longer visible in their current night sky. Freckles across sunkissed skin, and a far off beach, where we all stood against an eternal summer.
Gently, Anik felt Sumirah wrap her arms around him.
“It’s okay,” she whispered. “I promise. I’ll keep you safe. And if my wish really did come true-”
-then even I don’t have a single thing to worry about.
Anik immediately regretted having opened his eyes. The fluorescent lights above blind him momentarily as he blinks, and he feels a blanket tucked around him, and his head jostles a bit. Distantly, he sees Deja and Percy and Cameron, all three of them hovering over him. When he looks directly in front of him, he sees a pair of doors, and a strange man in a uniform sitting in the corner with a clipboard.
“Shh, you’re okay,” Percy immediately soothes. Anik whines once more as he feels Percy thread his fingers through his hair.
“We’re almost there,” Deja reassures him- though Anik is completely clueless as to where ‘there’ is. “Just go back to sleep, okay? You’ll feel better in no time.”
And, dutifully, Anik does.
Kenji bumps his shoulder against Anik’s as they stare down at the world below, sitting at the top of Kenji’s roof. A pond stretches across the horizon, the pink sky shimmering; the distinct smell of spring permeates the bone.
“I’m sorry,” Anik says. Kenji pinches his nose closed, shaking his head, laughing as Anik tries to swat his hand away.
“Stupid dog,” Kenji says, laughing. His freckles crinkle, his piercings glinting in the light of the setting sun. “There’s nothing to forgive.”
When Anik woke once again, he saw the dead boy staring down at him, strands of dark hair framing around his face like a curtain. Angel wings spread behind him like a dove, and his eyes were dark and brown, his smile sweet and childish. Perhaps that was Elijah’s way of showing Anik that he was forgiven for failing. And for a brief moment, despite the pounding in his head and the incessant beeping of some machine beside him, Anik felt elated.
I forgive you. I see you. I love you.
He felt someone’s hand in his. Suddenly Anik was aware of everything all at once- the lights hanging above him, the thin hospital gown, the IV planted in his arm. It smelled of sickness and disinfectant all at once. And then, of course, there was…
“You’re awake,” Percy looked up at him, his head resting on the edge of the bed. One of his arms was outstretched, cupping Anik’s hand in his. There was no difference between their hand sizes, nothing to make it more comfortable for either of them. The other arm hid half of Percy’s face, so that only his eyes peeked above his elbow.
Then again, as if the fact finally registered, Percy shot up, his face inches from Anik’s. “You’re awake.”
“Unfortunately,” Anik deadpanned.
Percy blinked twice before dissolving into laughter, and laughter turned into tears in his eyes turned into real crying. “You’re okay, you’re okay, you’re okay…”
Gentle fingers brushed against the line of Anik’s jaw, the apple of his cheek, the pull of his eyebags. They moved constantly about his face, until Percy found the two moles on his face, beneath his eye and lip, and he gently brushed over both of them.
“You scared me,” he sighed out. “You- you wouldn’t stop crying and apologizing, and you were burning up so bad, and- and the whole way to the hospital you kept murmuring things in your sleep-”
“Like what?” Anik stared at him, heart beating as fast as a rabbit thumping against snow.
“I don’t- I don’t even know. I don’t know these names. Sumirah? Kenji? I don’t- Anik, what’s going on? You scared all of us tonight. I don’t-”
Percy let out a frustrated little grunt.
“I know you’re secretive. I know you like to keep things to yourself. You’re worse than Jamie sometimes, y’know. But- but if you’re- if you need to talk to anyone, you can, okay? Your friends are here. Your boyfriend is here. So please-”
Anik reached up, mindful of the IV still in his arm, and placed his hand over Percy’s. His eyes were shiny with tears, and if he could, Anik would kiss them away like little pearls.
“Okay,” Anik said. “I promise.”
