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ive always been cast out in every friend group ive ever been in and i will never say anything or do anything about it and i will continue to forgive but not forget

#no one ever actually thinks about me or misses my presence within a group as an individual and i guess that's okay #whatever !!!!!!#stop maybebi should make a sideblog for this bullshit

Derap needs Zam more than Zam needs him. Sure, Zam is beginning to rely on Derap some, and Derap is a good influence on him to be more selfish and stand up for himself( like against Kab), but Zams been on his own for a long time and before Derap posed being teammates, Zam was prepared to be on his own longer.

J don’t think Derap can handle being on his own like that. Derap has wanted a team for, forever basically, and I think his recent conversation with Wembu post revival really highlights that. Derap pretty much blames Wembu for making no one want to team with him. And he is really upset by that, he couldn’t find anyone to team with him, until Zam. Derap was going to give evryhting to his team, when he was desperately wanting to team with the Sticklers, he was going to give them his hearts. He was prepared to give everything and all of him to a potential team.

But that didn’t work out, and then Zam showed up. Someone willing to put up with all Deraps trials and tests, their morals mostly lining up and even better he had no team. Zam proved himself to be reliable and Derap even felt like he could help Zam. But they’re not equal in how much a betrayal would hurt, not even close. Another betrayal would be devastating for Zam, he’s been hurt so many times this season, and who knows how he would take another betrayal of this magnitude. But for Derap, he would lose everything. Zam will always have Mapicc even if they’re going through a rough patch right now, he could probably team with the empire if he fully committed, he’s got Kab and Poafa in his corner and even Eccoridor ! What does Derap have to do? Wembu doesn’t even want to log on ever again, and by teaming with Zam he’s effectively burned several bridges. What I’m trying to say is that Derap needs Zam. (More than the other way around)

#lifesteal spoilers #derapchu #sorry I’m mildly obsessed with him and how much he loves zam #<— platonically romantically it’s something #lifesteal smp #lifestealblr #lssmp #princezam #Sorry sorry I’m normal #Just derap feeling so bad for losing all the compasses and apologizing and everything got to me #Whatever !!!!!!#Zamchu save me zamchu #Sparrow speaks #sparrows soliloquy #sunkissed

Made myself a Swatch horse =) because they're so special to me. They get horsed. This is like a me-type horse-swatch thing tho. If I was gonna make a real Swatch horse they'd be a hippogriff.