Trapped inside my head The pendulum swings Back and fourth Am I too much? Or not enough I find myself immersed in solipsism I'm all there is I'm all there ever will be 27 years and this is my design My life structure I generate so much pain for myself Subliminally I thrive in the chaos I enjoy the sorrow Hunting for it day in and day out Searching social media for something to feel Is it even supposed to be used for anything else? Yet, what if I want out of this hell I've created? Do I even have that option? To live freely without my venomous thoughts It sounds so enticing But unattainable For I have lived this way for so long I don't know how to alter This is all I've ever known Change my perception? Or my perspective? Its what they all tell me What they don't realize is that it's deep-rooted Inside my soul I will always choose insanity Until I'm isolated Deserted and abandoned I know no other way