#where it went wrong

[xyoung-lonelyx]

[ogjuice]

Its time to surrender. I don't want to make the journey halfway. I don't think I am able to surrender even 50% before I make the journey. Maybe that is why I am so afraid. Because I have asked myself to, was I not asking hard enough? Maybe I am beating myself up because they were right in all knowingly knowing I did do everything half-assed without passion for the sake of just getting by. Only in art did I feel myself reach close to maximum potential and yet I was still unable to reach that peak. So do I deserve this? Yes! So why have I not given this love to myself. I can ask God for forgiveness now, but why was it so painstakingly hard to ask forgiveness of myself? It is true in the fact I am the only thing holding myself back. I want to be able to forgive myself and I guess this is my biggest obstacle. It chills me more than my numb hands in the winter winds. I was scared because I felt I had found God these last years in reconciling with his thoughts and the thoughts I once held as a child...slowly they diverted back to a much deeper darker place. So I blame myself and torture myself with this question, did I ever really truly find God(?)--if I had not found the God in myself? And this is why I can't sleep at night.

[asondxr]

I was the type of person to ask for a sad song when everyone else wanted to be happy. I watched the people on the steps at school who smoked cigarettes like the rest of us drank water. When the frost bit the ground I would go outside and write poems on the benches outside the school. I thought of everything we were. We were everything. I don’t know what happened to us. Sometimes I walk down the halls and I think of myself two years ago, one year ago, 2 months ago. I see ghosts of memories slipping under doors and through the vents in lockers and sometimes I worry that one day I wont have the key to unlock these doors or the code to spin the locks. They say that all we have in the end are the memories. I guess I wanted to prove them wrong. I wanted to prove that sometimes people don’t leave and that maybe we’ll still meet every Saturday at 5 am like we did when we first met and maybe you’ll keep my poems. I wanted to show that sometimes you can make someone your everything and have it be as simple as that. We were everything. And everything can be very simple, or very complicated. Everything we were was a mess of chlorine-scented bathing suits, 3 am messages, hidden smiles and broken traffic lights. Everything we were was everything. Everything we are is nothing.

everything we were / a.p.

[carnivorouscarousel]

Wondering

I lie awake at night wondering where it all started to go wrong . Was it the day I was born ? Was I destined to have so many feats to overcome and struggle to survive them . Maybe it was elementary school where I was just to weird to fit in anywhere and I was asking for it or, perhaps last year where I became exactly like the people I hoped to never become , worried so much about what others think of me , I forgot who I actually am . I'm a person ,I don't have to let people pick on me to have friends . Yes , that where it went wrong the second I was content with getting bullied and used long as those people were my "friend" , changing things about myself to make others happy .Only now do I realize I'm not happy with who I am anymore .

[poemsforcam]

We gave what we had.

I had more time to give.

I never blamed you for that,

But I think that you did.

[dbloom]

This Gizmodo piece where Google is going wrong with its efforts to consolidate all its services and social media into One Big Thing got a LOT of attention in tech circles this week, and it should.

The piece is dead-on in its appraisal of several things:  

The decline of search as the dominant way we access the Internet and its many uses and distractions;

The strategic missteps that put Google on the outside trying to desperately peer into "semi-walled gardens" such as Twitter and Facebook to see what users are doing there;

The mortal threat Google's exclusion from those big new gardens poses to Google's long-term value and power; 

Google's desire to move from being just a search engine to being an "answer" engine;

Why all these factors have resulted in Google redesigning and unifying everything it does into one big beast of a destination, in the fading hope that we will take all our Internet business there, so it will have the context-specific information it needs about us to answer our specific questions;

Why this approach is nearly guaranteed to annoy and off-put many people, and is likely doomed to fail. 

All in all, a very smart piece by Mat Honan and justifiably picked up in lots of places. It'll make you want to reduce your use of all things Google, or at least understand why you have that creeping feeling when you visit Google's sites.