A/N: Just a little something. Set after Endgame. Reader is Steve’s sister.
Summary: With both Tony and Steve gone, it’s just you and Bucky against the world.
You’d never truly understood when people explained how the world seemed dimmer after someone had left it. It wasn’t like the sky would literally get darker and the whole world would grow cold, was it?
Nevertheless, you supposed the reason behind that was simply because you’d never experienced such a loss that would cause the phrase to be uttered from your own lips. Of course, there’d been many deaths in your life, but there’d never really been time to grieve. Something was always happening or going on around you.
Now, however… things were different. Thanos was defeated, the snap had been reversed, and the world was safe. There was time, and almost too much of it. There wasn’t much you could do to refrain from sitting in a quiet place and thinking about the lives lost. The people you’d lost. The friends. The family.
Nat had been enough. Her death had broken your heart. And then Tony had just had to sacrifice himself, hadn’t he? That had shattered your heart. You hadn’t believed there was even the smallest opportunity that things could possibly get worse. Then Steve had asked to speak to you, and what you’d thought would be a harmless discussion had ended with you saying goodbye to your big brother. You didn’t have much of a heart left to break after that.
It'd taken that much to finally make you understand what the phrase meant. You supposed it was more metaphorical than anything… it wasn’t that the literal world seemed dimmer, it was that your world – and the people who revolved around it – did. Your world seemed a little less bright now that it was lacking three people who had once helped mould your family. Mould the Avengers.
It was this thought that was swimming around inside your head as you sat on the window seat in your room in the Compound, staring out at the dismal sky as the rain poured from it. Not exactly the greatest mood-setter.
Steve had left. He was older, now… much older… and hadn’t wanted you to see him that way. He’d told you before he travelled back in time that the sole reason for it was because he wanted you to remember him only as you knew him; as the scrawny kid from Brooklyn who’d give up his life for his baby sister, and then the super soldier who’d do the exact same thing. You hadn’t disagreed. Seeing him any different to what he looked like in your mind would paint a new picture and keep it ingrained in your brain for the remainder of your life. That wasn’t what you wanted, and you knew it wasn’t what he wanted either.
Pepper was still living in Tony’s cottage with Morgan, as they should. Clint was back with his family. Thor was God knew where in the galaxy with the strange space man you’d met only briefly, but he’d promised you he’d visit. That gave you at least some sense of security and normality. Bruce – or Hulk. You honestly weren’t quite sure what to refer to him as anymore. You remembered joking about it some years before… “can’t I just call you Huce, now? Or, I don’t know… Brulk?” – had taken up a job at a science facility. He’d said he wanted something normal, now that the world was no longer in danger. You could understand that.
Everyone else… well, the most you could say was that they were safe, and the majority of them were happy. That was more than what you could currently say for yourself.
A voice at your door broke you from your slight reverie. “Hey, doll. I knocked, but no answer.” You turned, immediately relaxing at the sight of Bucky stood in the door frame. Seeing him felt better than you could possibly explain. Knowing you had him was just enough to keep you from wasting your life away and not bothering with absolutely anything. If you’d lost him, too, nothing would be holding you back from it. He was exactly the slither of your past that you needed.
“Sorry,” you found yourself saying, “I didn’t hear.”
Bucky stayed silent. He walked a little further in before shutting the door behind him. You turned back to stare out your window, blinking a little tiredly and resting your chin on your bent knee. “Room for one more?” A small smile flit across your face as you tilted your head slightly to look over at him. He was standing by your bed, warm smile reaching his brown eyes, arms crossed over his chest. A small nod was the response he received to his question, and you scooted over a little to press further up against the cool glass of the window. It was a large window seat, and you’d been found there many a time with either Steve or Tony, curled up with each other, watching the world go by outside in absolute silence.
You felt Bucky move in beside you, and the last thing you did was relent when his arm wrapped around your shoulders and pulled you against his side. “Pretty rough few days, huh?” he said quietly.
“You could say that,” you agreed, leaning your head against his shoulder. “This place has never been so quiet.”
Bucky nodded. “Well… nobody’s really here except you and me. Speaking of…” He trailed off a little and sighed, causing you to lift your head to look up at him.
He glanced at you for a moment before turning once again to stare out the window. “I spoke to Steve before he… went off, I guess you could say. Apparently my role as one of your guardians hasn’t changed since the nineteen-hundreds, so everything’ll be fine in that aspect. Not that you really legally need guardianship anymore.” You blinked before shifting and resting your head against his chest. After your mother’s death, both Steve and Bucky had been given guardianship over you. Your brother at the time had been far too doubtful of himself to ever believe he was capable of caring for you by himself, and his best friend hadn’t given a second thought on the matter once he’d been asked to help. He had, after all, been the surrogate big brother slash father that you’d never had your entire life, and you loved and looked up to him just as much as you did Steve.
“Steve doesn’t think it fair that we stay here much longer than we have to. Other than the fact that all the Avengers aren’t really living here anymore, neither of us believe you’ll be comfortable staying here after everything that’s happened… were we right to think that?” Another nod. Of course he was right. It felt as though every corner of this damn building was haunted by ghosts of the lives you’d lost. “I’ve… been looking around… found a house about a half hour from here in a little clearing, surrounded by trees with a small lake, in complete solitude… what do you say we go check it out some time soon?”
Your nod came much quicker at that. The idea was almost like a blessing to you. “Today?” You turned and glanced hopefully up at him, to which he responded with a slight chuckle and a small smile. He ran a hand down your hair.
“Not today. I’m no expert on house buying but I’m pretty sure these things have to be arranged a few days in advance, especially after things like half the world suddenly coming back to life.” You rolled your eyes but nevertheless lay your head back down again.
Bucky’s smile grew at that, though an eyebrow did involuntarily raise. You’d always begged him and Steve for a dog as a small child growing up in Brooklyn. Of course, they’d never said yes – him because it wasn’t his place to say when he didn’t exactly live with the two of you, and Steve because “you’re hard enough work as it is, little bear. Imagine how much stress a dog would cause!” – but you’d never stopped pestering them. You most likely hadn’t stopped since, but he supposed the Compound was no place for a dog. Thinking for a brief moment, he breathed a laugh before replying. “Yeah, we can get a dog.”
You pushed off his chest and snapped your head around, eyes wide. “Who are you and what have you done with my Bucky?”
“Your Bucky’s right here, smartass,” he said, poking your nose, “he’s just feeling a little indulgent at the moment.”
Bucky looked quite startled at the dog breed he’d just been given, both dark eyebrows shooting up. “The hell is that? Some kinda alien breed?”
You laughed. “It’s a cross between a Cocker Spaniel and a Poodle. A lot more dog breeds have been introduced since you last payed a visit to a shelter.”
“And here I thought there’d be flying cars in the future. Instead, people are just sticking different breeds of dog in a room and making them have sex.”
You shrugged, somehow feeling a lot happier than you were less than five minutes ago. “Tony could make a flying car-” You stopped abruptly as soon as the sentence had made it out of your mouth, unable to any sooner. Glancing down at the buttons of Bucky’s jacket, you noticed your heartbeat had risen a significant amount. Bucky, meanwhile, was silent, looking at you with both hurt and concern in his eyes. He sighed not a moment later, reaching up to cup the back of your head and pulling you towards him.
“I know you miss him, doll,” he said quietly. You nodded slowly against his chest.
“So much.” It was nothing more than a broken whisper, but he was close enough to have heard it. Softly cradling your head against his chest, he leaned down to press a kiss to the top of your hair.
“He loved you, and I’m sure he’s watching over you every day.”
You frowned. “I thought you didn’t believe in that kinda stuff?”
You felt him shrug lightly and tip his head up a little as though contemplating. “That was a long time ago,” he said. “When you’re working for assassins and spies and being forced through endless torture… well. You have to find someone to pray to.”
There was no way you could respond to that. The thought of him being put through so much was almost unbearable, as it always had been. Instead, you focused your eyes on the window. “The rain’s stopped.” Bucky turned his head.
“So it has. Fancy a little walk?”
You made a face. “It’s still cold.”
He pat your shoulder and made to get up. “We’ll wrap you up warm.”
Grabbing onto him seemed to be the best way of keeping him exactly where he was, so you wrapped your arms around him and stayed in your position on his chest. “Don’t leave me.”
“I’m not leaving you. You’re coming with me. Now, let go, you little gremlin.” He briefly tickled the spot under your arm, causing you to squeak and loosen your grip on him enough for him to stand to his feet and haul you up with him. You groaned as he draped an arm across your shoulders and pulled you a little forcefully off the window seat. “We’ve gotta get outta this place for a while, sweetheart.” A sigh left your lips, but you didn’t resist. He walked to your dresser and pulled out at least five coats and jumpers, turning and holding them up for you to see. “Will these do?” he asked with a smirk.
You shook your head and rolled your eyes, taking a step forward and grabbing one of the coats. “This will.” You sat on your bed to put it on, picking up your boots afterwards and pulling them on while you were at it. When you stood up, Bucky put an arm round your waist and pulled you to him as he walked you towards the door.
“You know this place better than me,” he said once you’d made it out the door, “where should we go?”
“The woods?” you suggested. It’d been a nice past time for you to walk around the secluded forest outside the building when you weren’t training or otherwise. Nature calmed you.
Bucky nodded. “Sounds good, doll.” The both of you turned a corner and you immediately turned your gaze down to the floor, knowing that photos of the Avengers lined the walls of this corridor. There were tons of them, all depicting scenes from Christmas and Easter and birthdays… nobody had ever taken them down, and though you couldn’t quite look at them yet, you never would. They were memories too precious for you to throw away.
Bucky noticed your change in mood, not least of all because you suddenly seemed to be relying heavily on him to guide you through the hall. He glanced up and immediately caught sight of the photos. Understanding, he quickened his pace, only slowing once the two of you reached the stairs. You weren’t all too surprised when he stopped and moved in front of you, kneeling slightly to look up at your tilted face. Tears were welling in your eyes, and as he reached up to cup your cheek, you let out a quiet sob. Bucky sighed. “Hey, sweetheart. We got this, alright? We’re gonna be just fine, you and me. Everything will turn out alright.” You looked up at him with teary eyes and sniffled.
He smiled softly, taking you by the shoulders and pulling you into his chest. “I just do. Trust me.”
You rested your head on his shoulder as he held you, feeling nothing but warmth and love radiating from him. You did trust him. With your life. And if he said things were going to be okay, then they would.
Yes, your world seemed dimmer. But at least there was hope that it may get brighter.
