Okay. Because my brain's been stuck on this All Of Break. Women in my phone (many with Diagnoses) is this list of Symptoms or Things That Don't Seem Normal worth looking into at some point (not now due to Politics but. At Some Point):
Sensitive to sound, smell, and light (examples: low bass thumping outside while I'm trying to sleep will keep me up, most Bath & Bodyworks products are headache inducing, driving at night or existing in an LED-lit classroom at the end of a long day is Not Fun)
Food Texture Issues (I don't like meat because it feels weird and isn't consistent, cycle through foods in periods of a couple months because a food is Wrong somehow once and then I don't want to deal with it for a while)
Hard time doing things on my off days due to burnout and inability to choose (I want to write, draw, read, or game or SOMETHING but it's too difficult to choose so YouTube/Tumblr time it is)
I buy lots of new hobby stuff fully intending to use it and maybe I do for a bit but I get bored and stop in the middle of projects intending to come back at some point but often don't (don't ask me how old my oldest crochet WIP is I don't want to talk about it)
Toe walking (have my whole life)
Other potential stim behaviors: Hair twirling, "The Part of the Day Where Starlight Makes Weird Noises" (after 5 pm or thereabouts, a joke in my house for about 5 years at this point), crocheting in class, finger tapping while thinking, "gremlining about the house," kinda constant music/white noise input to counter my tinnitus
Potential shutdown? (Early classes I'm fine, but by my 3:00 or 4:00 classes most days I'm exhausted, unable to pay the necessary amount of attention, and find noise/light too much. I used to attribute this to silent migraine because of family migraine history but. It Could Be Shutdown Maybe)
I mean I find it hard to pay attention in lecture most days anyways I'm usually simultaneously working on homework or thinking about Something Else even in my early classes. I cannot notetake in lecture to save my life.
Dysregulated sleep patterns generally (I intend to go to sleep at a certain time but my brain's like "no you haven't had enough Time For Yourself stay up another hour :)" and then it's Not An Hour many times. Also brain no turn off many thoughts head full. And shame.)
Difficulty with remembering/feeling like I need to eat on my days off of school. When I do remember I need to eat nothing sounds good so I don't.
On days when I do Pick A Hobby I will do it all day with virtually no break unless suddenly I want to go hop up and down for a little bit to my music or whatever and then sit back down (like that day I wrote... 5,000 words or thereabouts to finish an earlier draft of TLE)
I read 400 books in 2022 if that says anything (including half of Wheel of Time which I got burned out on around book 9 and then read the latter half in a week in 2023 just to say I'd finished it)
Fairly rigid morals (ex: had issues with a friend in early high school because she asked to copy my homework because she had a late night at dance and hadn't had time to do it and I was offended that she'd even ask me that the answer was No. She was upset that I thought that was cheating. I still think it's cheating and that I was right but *shrug* maybe I could have been nicer about it idk. People in general who engage in something I see as academic dishonesty/lacking integrity immediately and kinda permanently lose respect points in my brain.)
Speaking of said friend. Never really noticed she might have been jealous of me until bestie brought it up after we graduated? And now I've kinda fixated on it for years... We'd clicked by being the Smart Ones in elementary but our salutatorian and I (using Normal School Lingo we didn't do Val/Sal but that's its own whole thing) graduated at the top of our class by a significant margin ( +.1 GPA weighted on 3rd ranked) and we'd had a few fights over the years about me making her feel stupid by disagreeing with her on something in class and not backing down or agreeing to disagree on it (also that bit)
Oh yeah that time I got in trouble with our "Study Hall" equivalent teacher in 7th grade because she loved to do "Character Discussion" first thing and one time I dared to work on a drawing while she talked at us about something I'd heard my whole life for 10 minutes and then summarized everything she said when she asked why I thought it was okay to not pay attention (friend of mine later said she heard that teacher complaining about me for this in a lunch meeting that day, apparently the door was open or something)
Room? Car? Downstairs where I spend my time? My place at the dinner table (including the chair)? Mess.
Backpack? Void (less so now that I have less to carry and have consolidated everything as much as I can but still)
If I'm not early I'm late. I have to be in my classroom at least 15 minutes before otherwise I won't be in on time.
I love finding new and interesting ways to pretzel myself in chairs
I'm known for falling off of chairs at the dinner table
The Bruises From Lord Only Knows What
I genuinely don't know how much attention I paid in class before college because I was A Grade Or More Ahead In Everything basically my whole childhood and could get away with reading/doing the work in advance while the teacher was talking
Sixth grade my teacher tried to stop me by making me teach the class the day's math lesson. I don't think he ever really questioned me again.
Did I mention most of my friends over the years have been neurodivergent (diagnosed or Very Very Obvious)
And I'm sure there's stuff I'm forgetting but yeah. this.
