~(=^ΦωΦ^= )~ @icewindandboringhorror - Tumblr Blog

I FINALLY got pictures of the train station pigeons!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ….babeys

#you know what? pibbies again..#i miss them.......#repeat reblog

today’s fantasy creature aesthetic is apparently being over-decorated to the point that it looks a bit nonsensical lmao

#2017???? gaaaghhrhghh #going through my blog again.. i didn't realize this was that long ago #I must get back to doing costumes on a regular basis rather than like once or twice a year lol #aughh..........#repeat reblog #trying to reblog some actual image or something on top of all the just random text posts from my drafts lol

"You can't just sit around and wait for good things to come to you in life, you've got to get out there and seize it, work for it, TAKE what you want!!!!"

me who barely has the energy to brush my hair twice a week:

#but then there's also ''good things come to those who wait'' PLEASE be true LOL #I was going to give a different example of lack of functioning but people are still too weird about those with mental/physical ailments #who struggle with self care tasks lol.. Everyone is soo progressive and leftist and intersectional and disability rights until there's some #popular joke about how people who still live with their parents are losers or 'ewww omg u dont shower everyday? couldnt be ME. hashtag #STINKKYYYYY'' or that 'jobless' people are all freaks or so on and so forth. OR until someone says 'wear a mask' LOL.. :) :)#ANYWYA ghhjb.. not the point of this.. my inability to never not turn mundane things into rambling about systemic issues or something..#the ramblerrr... Why I could never be a streamer LOL.. In my edited game videos I can just cut out unrelated 10 minute long #rambling if it doesn't fit the general flow of the video. but live I would be stopping every 6 seconds to be like ''and you see. this #character design really does make you think about how pervasive these beautystandards are I mean. come on. this is all #manufactured. and GUESS who's profiting from it. look. wait. let me get this wikipedia article. SEE its-'' blah blah lol. ANYWAY #I keep thinking sometimes like 'ive got to go out there! get out in the world and DO things!!' but then it's like..man.. i dont think I can #Sheer Willpower my way out of some of this.. The truth is likely in the middle. i need to get out and Network and learn to socialize #and be more agressive in Seeking The Life That I Want like maybe.. 18% more than I am right now (as i'm already pretty goal oriented #and a very focused person in that regard. I'm an analyzer and a planner and have always been that way. i used to make powerpoints #for fun when I was a kid that laid out like.. my goals for the next 5 years and how to attain them and etc LOL). BUT at the same time #I must also acknowledge that my health issues and functional limitations mean that my life will always look different from other #people and that there are some things I simply cannot ''push myself'' to do without causing harm or genuinely getting sick or something.#So like.. try a LITTLE harder. yes. But also be realistic with expectations.#Also if a goal oriented list maker isn't annoying enough. I also am a morning person *everyone on tumblr booing and throwing #tomatoes at me* lol. (just seems like a lot of insomniacs and night owls here. nightlife lovers. morning #people are seen as too Normie. Which to be clear I have chronic sleep deprivation and issues sleeping and struggle to wake up also #LOL. I just mean that like.. I feel so alive an energized and happy when I manage to wake up at 5am. And I'm afraid of the dark so I'd #rather always walk around in morning sunlight than nighttime. I'm a morning person who has been stacked with sims game esque #mood buffs which drastically reduce my ability to actually go to sleep on time or wake up in the morning. simple really. :3c

I like this pain chart from a doctors office I was in a few years ago, that it actually has little descriptions and such alongside it, helping remove some of the usual vagueness that makes it difficult to actually quantify anything lol

#also makes me realize that i have 5-6 pain more often than I'd previously thought since i do often have trouble sleeping and #ignoring it lol..#Also one time I got this random pain in my side for like 10 minutes and then it went away (thankfully) but I had registered it as ''maybe #a 6 or 5.5'' at the time. Looking back though it must have been a 7 or 8 actually because I was having trouble moving around and like that #type of thing where you struggle to talk becayse you just keep breathing really hard from the ache. Still no idea what that was..#I told myself I'd go to the hospital if it wasn't gone in 30 minutes and it did go but.. hrmm..#AND one time I got an IV at the hospital and it was definitely put in wrong somehow (like maybe touching a nerve or something??) and I #kept telling them it hurt and they'd just be like 'ermm yeah a little discomfort is going to be normal' and i did not know how to explain #how much pain it actually was because they just kept saying it was normal to feel a pinch or for it to be a bit achey. But on this scale it #was totally a 6.5 or something. Like I was squirming around in the hospital bed and being brought to tears every 5 minutes and it was so #impossible to ignore that I was considering just straight up leaving like. who cares what I originally came here for. i canNOT have this in #my arm another second its like unbearable. I was poking my hand with a pencil and slapping my own leg and doing like anything in #my power to refocus sensation on some other part of the body so I wasn't feeling the IV pain in my arm lol #But literally I don't know how else I was supposed to say that??? I feel like sometimes people see that I seem nervous/fidgety/kind of weir #/ don't make eye contact well/etc and assume that I'm some overstressed hypochondirac baby thats exaggerating everything #and maybe because I sometimes have flat expressions or I say things in a less emotive way or something or am trying to be polite #at all times or whatever it could be that like... I come across as formal and unaffected and thus not someone who is in pain.#When really I just don't want to be rude?? I could be like 'HOLYSHITTTT IMIN SO MUCH PAAAIN AAGAUGHHH' and start #sobbing but that's not how I express myself..?? if anything when I feel really bad I kind of just shut down and its harder to explain #things to people and I struggle upkeeping some sort of social facade of performing emotion so i may seem even LESS upset. Maybe #I should have like really performed crying?? Like instead of just the casual tears welling up in eyes but not really frowing or anything #I should have full on pretended to freak out or something?? I just feel like that also makes you look bad as well and could backfire so the #take you even less seriously. .. hrm.. ANYWAY.. idk that situation was weird. I still don't know always how to say 'I am in pain' in a #convincing way where people belive me. because it seems like 50% of the time they dont. but I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong lol #AND it didn't even leave a bruise or anyuthing so it was weird. I had a different painful IV once and there was a huge bruise after. That #other one just hurt insanely intensely and then the area seemed totally fine after... what even happened...#ANYWAY. this scale is the first time I've seen descriptions too like that.. maybe helpful for other people too..

icewindandboringhorror

a few “out of style” (aka not just slim featureless black rectangles) cell phones from ebay that have design elements I still really love

#AAAAAh remember this...........#phombges........#I still want them all lol #repeat reblog #gods especially the square one like. its SO cutey charming

icewindandboringhorror

Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~

(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)

#I still find this quite fun. I like the sleeves and vest combo #repeat reblog

icewindandboringhorror

some silly vampire photos lol

#i just remembered him... going through my blog...#why did i do this with such nonsensically messy hair he looks like he just fell down a flight of stairs or something gyhhbjhb #meeee in the summer. how i walk around disheveled from evil temperatures.#......wait. actually might have literally been me in the summer... LOL #graafgggghh i need to do costumes again aaaaaaaaaaaaa #Frustrating that my current situation is mostly just doctors being like 'ahh. this might be why youre tired and sick all the time. aha!' an #i go 'cool so what can be done about it?' and they go 'erm... idk.. :)' or 'welllll. nothing YET. it has to get worse first. :)'#like.........okay. yay <3 #please can i have a little bit of functioning and energy... bleeassseeee #I mean I do still do stuff. i'm working on my game. editing videos. little things. But I used to do costumes and stuff like WAY more often #and I could juggle multiple things at one time (so me working on my game wouldnt mean that I have no time for anything else and #I could still do costumes or something at the same time). but it feels like I've lost some ability to do that to a degree #ANYWAY.. hrmm... picture #repeat reblog

It's silly how every year as summer approaches I'm like ''aghhh i must have some version of seasonal affective disorder, what's wrronggg with me I feel so badd :('' when really, if I think about it, everything just comes down to heat management. I have to sleep on the floor half the time because the bed is too hot even with no sheets on it. Must have fans constantly going in the background, which is a noise that I loathe, so I'm sensory overwhelmed at all times. The weird old window AC in a single room of the house is even louder than the fans and impossible to sleep when it's on, so it still gets hot at night with it off. Keep all windows blacked out for 6+ hours a day so no direct sun gets in. Need to check weather frequently to set up the series of 6 fans that move air throughout the house at the exact moment that the temperature outside is lower than the temperature inside. Can't use the oven during heatwaves because even the extra few degrees it adds makes a difference. Obviously it could be a lot worse (still thankful that this new apartment is at least not facing the direction of afternoon sun like my old one) but the constant low level background stress of micromanaging every aspect of the environment to keep from overheating, when applied to someone who's already chronically low energy/struggles with daily tasks + has health conditions that make them overly heat sensitive, would definitely be enough to decrease mood and cause a general Always On Edge type of feeling. It's not even a Disorder it's just me being annoyed for 3 -4 months straight, and I dread the summer so badly simply because I know I'm about to be annoyed for 3 - 4 months straight lmao.. like.. I diagnose you as 'needing a central AC system'. Literally that's it lol

#I mean I still wouldn't like to be OUTSIDE in the heat but i spend 90% of the time indoors anyway so like.. literally...#if I had a way that would keep my house cool that was QUIET and I could SLEEP while it was happening and did not require the #constant active effort of moving fans around half the day (seal the windows up to keep all sun and heat out. now open them and set #up all the fans. now cover everything again. now uncover it. now cover it. so on foreveer) and ALSO i could even keep the windows unblocked #because I wouldnt need to keep out every single trace of sun. AND no fans also means I dont need to bring in outside air and allergens #so I probably wouldn't have itchy skin and a constant low level headahce 4 out of 7 days of the week either. so on and so forth #like.. man.. imagine if the environment was just kind of passively cold... AND I COULD SLEEP IN MY BED!!!#I actually like sleeping on the floor because i love being on the floor. as true followers shall know (or i think i talk about it also in m #games youtube video where i build my ideal sims house and explain why i have so much little floor sitting spots lol) BUT its #also like.. not always that comfortable of course. especially my hip joints sometimes. even if i try to pile up pillows and stuff under #me and make a little version of a mattress. it still isnt enough cushioning. AND the more pillows and stuff you add the more #stuff there is that keeps in heat thus the hotter you get anyway. whci is the whole reaodn i cant sleep on the bed in the first place.#so i cant just recreate my whole bed but on the floor lol #ALSO can't play games on my computer since anyting that makes the room hotter is banned. One time I was playing the sims #and you could see my ambient room temperature rise by like 1 degree every 30min. Which seems silly and like it shouldnt #matter but the thing is that there is no effective way of REMOVING heat. These apartments just like my old one were also built for #rainy cool damp areas where the summers aren't that bad and they're meant to keep IN heat. So now with climate change and #it getting way hotter here now its like VERY hard to actually remove heat outside of just having central AC. like the materials and insulat #ion of the apartment itself just keep everything warm. so if you add even 5F from baking in the oven and playing sims 2hrs then that #5F is staying as like a permanent buff added to the temperature until the next time it's under 60F outside. Which during heat waves might #be days. Even like 5 fans on full blast cycling 65F air will only cool the place off by a degree or two by morning. It has to be 58F #outside at LEAST for the night air to make a meaningful difference. Especially since all windows are just on one side so theres no #way to get a cross breeze or anything through the apartment. I know it sounds like ''oh well just stop doing all that stuff if its stressin #you out!'' well then the apartment would be like 82F at all times and I would be not only stressed out but also in physical ailment lol #Even with all of my best efforts it still hovers at like 73F - 77F a majority of the summer. Which to ME with my heat sensitivity is like #to the point where I have trouble sleeping and feel sick all the time lol. But again. SO thankful I dont face the afternoon sun anymore.#Because then it was more like hovering at 75f - even 83F at night often. which even heat lovers may admit is hard to sleep in #anyway............... yay......................... summer............... :-) *eye twitching*#also I just turned all the morning fans off and it's like... oh my GODS.... the instant relief.. seriously its almost like i can physically #feel a difference in my body.. immediately tension lifted... droning background noise (fans. hairdryer. vacuum. etc) my true ENEMY...

For households that commonly take off shoes at the door: If you have a guest entering your house who is not wearing any socks, what would you rather them do?

Still take off their shoes and just walk around barefoot

Keep their shoes on if they're wearing nothing under them

Shoes on, just not allowed in carpeted areas

Barefoot, just not allowed in carpeted areas

N/A, My household doesn't have any rules about wearing shoes in the house

Voting ended onJun 18

#Just curious.. one of my landlords came over today and they took off their shoes at the door but weren't wearing anything under #them and it was just kind of weird to see them barefoot walking around. especially because they left muddy footprints around #Like it was raining a lot today and they were wearing these tiny little flat shoes so I understand they probably got wet and dirty.#I'm like sooo the opposite of a 'speak to the manager' type like. I will put up with almost anything as long as it's not morally unjust #(like someone attacking a minority group or something). Most interactions like that i just go 'hhmm.... weird...??' and shrug #A barista could literally throw my drink on the floor in front of me and be like ''fuck your stupid food you ugly FRREAKK BASTARDD!!'#and I would sincerely just react like '...huh.. well they must be having a bad day or something. clearly this isn't about me' and just calm #ly try to get a refund and leave lol. So idk. I mean it's annoying to clean up muddy footprints since it's a mess I didn't make but also.#whatever.. Because then I was thinking - well .. what DO you do?#If youre muddy and wet and coming in from the rain - do you wear your nasty muddy shoes? or is it better to track your wet muddy #bare feet through someone's house? It's not really their fault I guess that they got muddy so . what WERE they supposed to do?#I think I was mostly taken aback because they have these huge bloody scratches on their feet (i think from dogs? Iv'e seen #them walking through the property with like a big yappy dog before) so at first I thought the mud was dried blood. and its like.. okay THEN #thats a little weird because that's a biohazard lol.. But then upon closer inspection of the footprints it really just seemed to be like.#dirt caked on their toes or something..?#I'm probably in the camp of like. barefeet but just not on carpet.#Because a tile or wood surface is pretty easy to mop and clean. but I dont want someone's mysterious bare feet on a carpet which is much #harder to get stuff out of.. If they had tried to go into one of the carpeted rooms I would have probably been like. erm.. sorry but please #don't.. lol.. Like in as polite of a way as I can. Please not the wounded mud caked feet in the carpet. please..#ANYWAY... Just curious what the common thinking is. Because after they left I did start thinking like.. what even would be the best option #for them...??? I guess if it were me I just would like.. not have entered the apartment or something? Or would have tried to change shoes o #do that thing maintnenance people do where they have bags over their feet. But people don't always have time/ability to do that and maybe #didn't count on it being so rainy and muddy today so. ?? I know some people are also really grossed out by other people's bare feet #so I wondered if that would factor into things. or like what's culturally acceptable. I guess I find feet gross??? Not horribly #so though. But like. enough that I wouldnt want a stranger to walk on my bed pillow barefoot. Then again isnt that normal?? who would #actually be okay with a stranger putting their bare feet on your bed... hmm.. lol.. That's like saying ''well. i guess im a little bit #bothered by pain. like. for example i wouldn't want someone to break my legs.'' < as if ANYONE is sitting around wanting someone to #break their legs like. as a norm or something lol

I usually do my food journal for the day right after dinner, and coincidentally I am often uncontrollably exhausted after dinner (like literally unable to keep my eyes open, even actively in the middle of tasks), probably because of some undiagnosed blood sugar issue or food sensitivity or etc - BUT, this means that while I'm typing, I often fall asleep for just a microsecond and have these stream of consciousness mini-dreams where it's not really a dream, but more just some quick burst of increasingly abstracted dreamlike thoughts during the brief moment before my eyes flash back open to resume writing my sentence, which then makes me type bizarre things that I don't notice until later (in about 10 minutes once whatever is wrong with my blood sugar subsides and I look at my journal in an actually awake state).. for example, today:

Attempting to type the sentence "not having any symptoms out of the ordinary" but I fall asleep before "ordinary", so during the 0.5 seconds my eyes are closed my mind goes: 'out of the ordinary' --> 'out of the way' --> "out of the way" = fuzzy imagery of a car moving out of the way of another car as they both drive into a tunnel --> I am now a man driving my brother who I resent to an appointment last minute that he forgot to tell me about and we're driving into a tunnel and I look over to see he's wearing his ugly green coat (not a fully fledged dream where it's a sequence of events playing as a movie but more like a full scenario with context delivered all at once, as if time is nonlinear and I'm just perceiving it in whole as a condensed idea) ---> I type "not having any symptoms out of the an stupidjacket"

#I jotted this down as immediately while I could actually kind of remember what lead to it/what the brain connections were #Sometimes I stumble through half of my whole food journal this way and then drop my phone and fall fully asleep for 10 minutes and then #when I wake up I look back over those few portions I did manage to write before sleeping and am like... what the hell even led to this word #being in here... ''around 10am got up and ate a plate of walking rosesgarden" ''felt mostly quarter'' ''got up late and doorsways''#I don't have an autocorrect feature enabled either (I can manually tap words and select a suggestion but it doesnt like.. alter them to a #differrent version automatically) so more often than not its just weird typos rather than anything legible #''after lunch i wenjno sbbh;allj fjj''#I guess this one just struck me as one of the rare notable ones since there #was at least a slight logic to it. the last glimpse I got into that man's world before waking was him thinking ''stupid jacket''#my stupid fucking failbrother and his UGLY green jacket i hate for reasons not explained by the Nonlinear Time Concept Dump #I love that aspect of dreams though like how sometimes you just Know things that are implied even though there's nothing indicating them #you can pick up a book and go 'ah.. my neighbor obviously threw this into my window because of our argument we had about my beet #garden and also he keeps flirting with my wife and when we were in 4th grade i shot his dog with a bb gun and my mom disowned me and #her name is Mary which is the title of this book and thats why my neighbor threw it to me'' and you somehow just Know all of this #instantly even though you're only getting this short snapshot into this particular dream reality before moving onto some new random #scenario. Or like how sometimes a dream in a LITERAL sense is totally innocuous (youre just sitting eating dinner at a table) but the Dream #Context Known And Implied is that something Scary is happening somewhere so it feels like Scary Spaghetti even though literally #nothing even occurs you just sit and eat pasta until you wake up but there was a Threatening Aura. Or talking to people in a dream #and even though its a stranger youre walking up to the first time you automatically know their relationships with every other ''character''#around and also what theyre here for and what they have with them. ''random guy!! i need the red pencil you have in your pocket which #I randomly know you have'' and he's just like ''sure!' and throws it to you.#anyway.. hrmm

lucalicatteart

A few silly little small sculptures that I made with some of the leftover clay from the main one I did recently

#a reblog of SOMETHING at least just since I've been so inactive lol #as usual its just having to fit a bunch of appointments and other tasks into the span of a few weeks.. AH #Literally incomprehensible how some people just go from task to task so swiftly and will like go to work then go eat #dinner then stop by the bar on the way home then 7am the next morning have a friend over for brunch before goinginto the city #to a concert then a dr appointment then a sports game or some crap like... Literally if I have even 2 things in one day it become #s nearly impossible to focus on anything else lol.. Its like something about task switching #i just need TIME in between each task. a buffer to rest and prepare for the next thing. Which is then how I end up like.. having a letter #I'm supposed to send to a medical place which takes all of probably 30 minutes to type and put together yet its taken me 4 months because #Tasks keep occuring which become more prominent than the letter in my mind and then i think about the leter and its like 'AGHbut #I just went to an appointment AND the store AND i made a phone calll.. I cannot type a letter right now i simply cant even process it''.#and then that keeps happening forever until finally I set a day aside where my ONLY task is The Letter and finally I do it and it takes lik #15 minutes and then its like.........how did this take months... LOL..#anyway. Post Online is a task. so it's like 'aaa but I already replied to 3 emails AND had a phone call with a doctor AND went to the #store.. how could I possibly Post Online??? a task that most people do mindlessly without thinking about it just for fun?? TOO MUCH #for meee. alas I must do it tomorrow'' (< is going to 'do it tomorrow' 10 days in a row)#And by 'its a task' literally i dont even mean that it's hard or anything it's just. literally A Thing To Think About. even the smallest #thing feels like A Task to me. Getting tea is a task. eating breakfast is a task. all day I just feel the looming pressure of Things To #Complete even normal tiny things lol. I think its like .. I am incapable of ''autopilot''? you know how some people just get into a routine #and just do things without thinking about them? and the people like iI mentioned who have super busy social lives. they also seem like #theyre kind of just .. not dissociating or something but like.. just going through the motions hopping from one thing to the next with #minimal processing or etc.? Whereas my brain NEVER exits the slow processing thinking analyzing mode and never steps into the background #or becomes Automated so even stuff like eating lunch is A Task I Have To Consciously Exert Effort To Do rather than like. just a simple #thing I'm doing in the background without much notice... if that makes sense??? I mean some days I'm definitely more productive #than others but even at my most functional where I do many tasks in a row in one day I'm still like.. exerting effort constantly. nothing i #ever a mindless background thing. Its just like. those days I dont have a headahce or joint pain or I slept really well or something so #I thus have more Energy to actually exert. As opposed to most days where I usually wake up feeling as if Ive just been lost in the woods #for 4 days and walked 400 miles or something LOL.. ANYWAY... huzah... something at least. I love the little aishas still #I WANT TO SCULPT AGAIN RAghHHAHHHAGghHRAAAH .. and do costumes!!! I feel like for the past like 2- 4 years my issues have #been exacerbated a bit. but thats also around the time I've been diagnosed with more chronic health things.. grr... but I'm seeing a dr #for the autoimmune problem finally now so maybe that will eventually help?? ough..i just wany do art....& poast online of course :3c

the aloof sink boye.....

#cats #he's slowly becoming a little more niceys but is still very like... I think just easily overstimulated and still more scared than he #seems? Like he'll be lounging around with very chill body language and seeming relaxed but then any even minor movement or noise #and he'll perk up like immediately. And he'll kind of cautiously walk over and nudge my hand and clearly give indication he wants to be #pet - and 50% of the time he'll let me pet him for like 10 minutes and will roll into my lap and start purring. and the other 50% of the ti #time he'll get spooked by something and scratch at me out of nowhere lol. Which is funny since he'll like.. run into my hand and I haven't #even started petting him yet and he'll freak out like ''AHH why is this HAND next to me!?!"' and hiss and run away and it's like.. dude...#YOU put the hand next to you by running up to it. I have been completely still and haven't moved lol. That's like putting on a hat then #looking in the mirror and going WAHH who put this HAT on MEEE???#But aside from his a little bit meany silliness scaring himself and such a lot. He's getting along okay I think. yaay.#He still won't let me pick him up though - which I don't care about for selfish reasons like 'ouu i want to be able to cuddlee himmm' but #more like.. if there were ever an emergency and I needed to take him from the apartment quickly I fear I couldn't get him into the carrier.#So I think just from a like..literal practical level its important to work on that. It might be hard for him to get used to still though.#ANYWAY.. sickies.. my legs stil hurt.. hashtag my evil bruises. I also realise I might have hurt my shoulder when I fell since I've been ha #having a lot of pains that stem from my upper back shoulder blade area. like pains in my ribs and down my arms and stuff.. grrr.....#BUT IM STILL WORKING ON MY GAME GwaaaRRRGGG and hopefilly it will be done SOON and then my 'I cannot play any other #games until i finish my own' ban shall be up and then i can play TOMODACHI LIFEE!! I really want to do a sculpture or costume or some #thing soon as well. It will SADLY be the evil summertime soon so. thats a perfect time for crafts since its not like I can hardly #do anyting else productive when I'm just sweating and having headaches all day. I've been falling behind on all my list stuff a lot #more recently.I think just since random things keep comingup (more dr appointments. the cat dying. getting a new cat. random things #with relatives or heatwaves or like other misc external thinsg that just occur). etc. like..PLEASE can I finish ONE todo list fully with no #stuff leftover to still do the next day... pleaaaseeee *crawling on the ground in a rainstorm with my dramatic velvet cloak dragging throug #a mud puddle* aouu.... ANYWAY... mr. sink they call him...#Hes one and a half years old but he looks so small and kittenish.. like he's TINY compared to Noodle.. my shrimplet son...

Sometimes I wish I had the Fandom Bones in my body where I could get really invested in stuff like that like... imagining what it's like that some people get SO thrilled just to see a new photo of a character they like or etc. It would be interesting to have additional sources of joy like that in my life where it seems pretty accessible or easy to satisfy (though perhaps it's more ephemeral than I think and doesn't just work like 'see favorite media = instant joy' lol), so if I ever felt bad I could just read a fanfiction or something or whatever else is done.. Hrmm.. if only I could learn such ways.. It seems fun, in a way, to be excited about these things.

#Only because sometimes I feel sick or bad or something and am trying to brainstorm ways to lighten my mood and I'm like.. hmm.. some #people get such joy out of media! if only I could get that much joy and emotional satisfaction from reading/watching/being a fan of #things. etc. I dont think there's any thing that I genuinely get excited looking at or reading about or anything aside from like.. maybe my #own world and charctaers? And even then I'm not like 'omggg a picture of my blorboo!!!' about my chararcters because its like.. idk.. uhmm #I made them so. for some reason that makes it different. I'm more likely to have a 'blorbo' reaction rather from reading about my worldbuil #ding or something. ''OMG my BLORBO!!!'' * points to a spreadsheet of climate regions and the names of roads and local plants* gjhjhbhjk #Maybe that's a common flatter emotional range + lessened affective empathy + whatever else sort of thing. I engage with media very intelle #ctually and I can of course COGNITIVELY understand what's going on with the plot/read cues of how the characters are feeling/analyze #what drives them and why. But I really never like.. emotionally project onto them or like Feel What They're Feeling or form that specific #type of attachment. The highest level of attachment I can possibly have to a character/group of characters (like in the case where its more #about a group dynamic or the interest comes from interactions played off of each other rather than individuals)/piece of media is just #like ''hmm. that was quite interesting. I enjoy exploring the details of this and would like to see more. i am amused/fascinated/curious''.#But never that like 'OMGGG THEY ARE literally mEEEE AAAA i loVVEEE THEM!!!' type of stuff you see lol. Alas... hrmm...#ANYWAY.. I just wonder sometimes if it'd be nice to be able to derive enjoyment from things like that. Only one of the many ways in which #I'm distant from the ''typical'' human experience LOL. I guess I think about it more than other ways though since like.. tumblr is my main #social media site. Which is like the primary place to see people become super invested and emotional about things they enjoy. Look through #the tags of like anything and there will be people like ''OMG THIS MOVIE EXPLODED ME INTO ONE MILLION PIECES'' or etc lol #And also of course I think understanding this stuff better would help me promote my own work. in a way. Like as much as there can be debate #about the negative sides of some fandoms (parasocial relationships. toxic bullying. racism. shipping taking precedence over deeper engageme #nt or media analysis. blah blah blah) at the end of the day it's still those Super Fans who are like the drivers of any community around #something kind of like.. that is a Good thing to have actually. So i do have an outsider's respect for The Grind still. people who are #able to write fanfiction or watch an episode of something 4x in a row or stay up really late just to catch a stream or something like that.#Those are like (again so long as it's not like.. parasocial stalker type stuff or something bad) who you really WANT to have in a fanbase o #something since they'll be dedicated and invested. And also (maybe???) are more emotionally content people since they can like..#watch a movie and become happy from it or something? lol. Imagine... I can sometimes have my mood improved by looking at picture #s of clouds or breakfast foods..? Maybe that's like a small version of what the experience is like. lol. The most fannish thing I've done #is watch like 8 hour lore analysis videos of something. But then it can often be a media I've never seen in my life.. so...?? I think again #I am just a fan of like all worldbuilding in general LOL rather than any specific series or something. hashtag minordetailsfandom. Erm why #pay any mind to ~emotionally connecting with characters~ or ~enjoying the plot~ when there is a tiny sculpture for 20 seconds in background #of one scene of the movie which could have cultural significance to the fantasy world. THAT'S the REAL focus here!!

icewindandboringhorror

Vote on new kibby name !

(note: there's more info below the question if that helps you choose :3)

the boy:

What should he be called?

Pumpernickel

Abercrombie

Benston-Darby

Harbison

Bartholomew

Voting ended onApr 27

.

NOTES (may help consider his vibe/what name suits him):

-- This vote is for his first name. I plan for him to have multiple middle names too, like a fancy prince. Plus probably a million nicknames.

-- His last name will be 'Wellington-Trufflehunter' (from 'beef wellington' + my previous cat's last name was Trufflehunter, so this is continuing the line, as his son)

-- physical: He's 1 yr old, warm gray with dark grayish brown toe beans. Tiny for his age, a bit runty kittenish, but stout. Has a small scar on one eye due to past injury.

-- nature: Because of medical care for his eye injury as a kitten, he's wary of human hands/human touch. But is somehow also very affectionate (will run up and sit on my lap and lean into my hand to be pet, then randomly spook himself out of nowhere and run away scared, etc. lol. Very like "hiii AHHH I HATE YOU oh noo hee hee its fine AAAAH WHATS HAPPENING ohh hii again hiii we're such good friends hewwoooo please come hang out with me AHHH WHY arE YOU NEXT TO ME oh hiii hewooo~"). Skittish about random furniture and objects as well.

-- quirks: yawns all the time and is always rolling around and stretching like he just woke up from a nap, sleepy seeming. drools sometimes when purring. chews on cardboard and random items.

icewindandboringhorror

Pumpernickel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#(though I still might call him 'Abercrombie-Pumpernickel' sometimes just because that feels like his essence to me... his in person energy..#he is both an Abercrombie and a Pumpernickel so much at the same time... hrmmb.....)#GRRR I was going to post more of substance (like a promotional post for my game or something) but todya I had to help with yardwork at #a relative's house and I was rushing around a bit (BECAUSE IT WAS 88F outside FULL sun (and direct sun adds like 10 degrees I've heard #so 88 --> 98 .. graghh. and I wanted to go inside sooner). and the wheelbarrow I was pushing hit a weird crevice in the ground and flipped #over and threw me over the top of it in some comedy movie style gardenware crash and I slammed into the metal parts at the underside #of the wheelbarrow so now both my legs have big painful bruises on them as well as my arm and my shoulder and lower back hurt..... yayyy #I could have gotten hurt much worse so it's good that like..my face didn't hit the metal or something but still.. ough.... hurt to walk....#and also i HATE having big bruises they make me so paranoid to have a big sore spot on the leg.. I'm always afraid they'll start to swell u #or something happens and i have to go to the hospital or something... evill...........#I shall hopefully get to rest some tomorrow.. stinky because I made a lot of progress on my game the day before and was hoping to #continue to have a productive monday but i think I'll just need to recover for a few days.... I think my preexiting health conditions make #me more fragile or something since after even ''minor'' things like that (minor compared to like. falling down the stairs or #something) I always just feel like... my ENTIRE body is just stiff and horrible lol.. Like if one single injury occurs its like the whole #system overreacts and is like 'oh.. you want inflammation EVERYWHERE? yes. i think widespread inflammation aches and pains #in every area even those not directly affected would SURELY fix your problem. you're wlecome :)'#ITD BE A GREAT TIME TO HAVE ALREADY FINISHED MY GAME so I could play tomodachi life during my rest.. AGHHHHHHH #Imagine where I would be in life if I had finished my game like 2 years ago (< in exactly the same place in virtually every way since it's #such a niche game its not like ill get any money or notoriety for it HOWEVER i would be in the same place WITHOUT my ban on playing #other games until I finish my own THUS i would be playing fun games.. lalala yaayyy ). ANYWAY........... hrbbbbb #grumble.. ho hum... grumble grumble.. kicking rocks.. ouch ooff i cant kick rocks with a sore leg ouchh.. *punches a wall instead #then visibly winces and shuffles away kind of hiding that im crying a little*#um... and then i actually start floating and it becomes clear i am actually a wizard and i flutter away cool-ly to go get a sandwich #to bring back to my castle and then i have a fun day and win a million dollars and all my bruises heal and rainbows and kitties #:3 (if im already making up a hypothetical scenario then why not make it happy. huzzah. ). ANYWAY.. i need to go to beeedddddd #if not tomodachi life perhaps.... a simple game of solitaire (one i am still allowed to play lol.. i could NEVER ban myself from the cards)

The horribly adultly mature rated content, of, erm... four leaf clober

#they must be doing some automated system or like ai detection of things now because i keep getting posts flagged that #no human being would ever see and flag at all lol.. like one of shoes a while ago.. hashtag my evil and inappropriate shoes

Vote on new kibby name !

(note: there's more info below the question if that helps you choose :3)

the boy:

What should he be called?

Pumpernickel

Abercrombie

Benston-Darby

Harbison

Bartholomew

Voting ended onApr 27

.

NOTES (may help consider his vibe/what name suits him):

-- This vote is for his first name. I plan for him to have multiple middle names too, like a fancy prince. Plus probably a million nicknames.

-- His last name will be 'Wellington-Trufflehunter' (from 'beef wellington' + my previous cat's last name was Trufflehunter, so this is continuing the line, as his son)

-- physical: He's 1 yr old, warm gray with dark grayish brown toe beans. Tiny for his age, a bit runty kittenish, but stout. Has a small scar on one eye due to past injury.

-- nature: Because of medical care for his eye injury as a kitten, he's wary of human hands/human touch. But is somehow also very affectionate (will run up and sit on my lap and lean into my hand to be pet, then randomly spook himself out of nowhere and run away scared, etc. lol. Very like "hiii AHHH I HATE YOU oh noo hee hee its fine AAAAH WHATS HAPPENING ohh hii again hiii we're such good friends hewwoooo please come hang out with me AHHH WHY arE YOU NEXT TO ME oh hiii hewooo~"). Skittish about random furniture and objects as well.

-- quirks: yawns all the time and is always rolling around and stretching like he just woke up from a nap, sleepy seeming. drools sometimes when purring. chews on cardboard and random items.

#cats #tumblr polls #reasoning behind names: pumpernickel - it just sounds silly and a bit whimsical and randomly came to me. abercrombie - I was actually #looking up other names and a different name came up and I thought 'hah that sounds like the name of some kid in 2010 that wouldve shopped #at abercrombie & fitch (the clothing store)' and then I was like.. hmm... actually... abercrombie sounds quite fun as well. in terms of #fitting the vibe of something some pampered rich child would be named HOWEVER with a bit of whimsy (so slightly more obscure names than #typical stufflike 'Poppy' or 'Viviana' or 'Edmund' or something). Benston-Darby - his name from the shleter is 'Benito' so I was trying to #think of something that still has the 'Ben' at the beginning or similar. I considered just Benson or something. But 'Benston' sounded a lit #le sillier. Then my other cat (the brother of the 18yr old one) had the name George Arby Pecan. And I was thinking 'Arby' could be #kind of a silly name but then.. Darby sounds a bit more uppity and goofy. And then why not make it one of those 'two first names' names #just to make it even more silly. Like 'kayla-rose' or 'carlton-rae' or whatever). Harbison - i literally just googled 'fancy cheese names'#bc I like food names for animals and apparently it's a type of cheese. I consdiered Roquefort bc thats also fancy sounding but it's a littl #to ''rough'' for him (sounds more like some guy that would be a handsome soldier love interest in a period drama). Also considered 'Asiago'#but it also didn't fit him fully. Harbison totally sounds like something you could hear some upper middle class woman shouting in a park #as she's trying to get her son's attention. Bartholomew - a suggestion from one of my roommates that I threw in just for variety #but am not very attached to (I think the pun is ''bartholoMEW. haha.. like a cat goes mew!' which I understand the humor in but isa little #too ''typical'' of a fancy name for me. like.. Victor. or something. I wanted something a little ''weirder''. but also it's fine. and it do #at least start with a B. so would follow the same letter as Benito.). ANYWAY.. okay. that should be all the context lol.#Technically I don't own him yet since it's a foster to adopt type of thing I get to trial him for 30 days to see if he's a good fit. As he'#been passed to multiple shelters and fosters already in his life bc of his hissing and scaredy-ness. so i also would feel weird taking him #back when he seems to be making such good progress here lol. Something crazy would have to come up (like a serious health issue that was no #disclosed to me and that would cost thousands of dollars in medication a year to treat). .. my evil weird eyed princely son...#But it is a pretty big transition. from an entirely docile (to the point I couldbve probably picked him up and spun him around and he would #just sit and do nothing) 18 yr old cat that sleeps like 20hrs a day. to a . perhaps also sleepy. but much more mischevious and very nervous #young cat lol. I have to do training with him so he can get used to me picking him up. and get used to using a cat carrier and etc. But he #lets me pet him now and will get in my lap and stuff. which is good compared to like 8 days ago where he just hid and hissed. Though I stil #get a light scratch on the hand sometimes lol.. ANYWAY.. grrr...... I want to do a costume or a sculpture this week and I NEED TO FINISH #NY gameee and make more progress on that!!! I think just like last time I'm having trouble with my tooth crown so I'll probably have to go #in soon and get on antibiotics again.. hrrr.... why is nothing with my teeth ever simple.. I've just been exhasted and pain flared and AUGH #.. i just want to play the simbs.. OR new tomodachi life.. i am watching everyone post screenshots from afar.. deep wistful sigh.

icewindandboringhorror

Some fantasy traveler inventory details (like what they would carry in their bags), based on two of the recent costumes I did.. love finding random little scraps and items and putting them together lol

#repeat reblog #just some old post to reblog something since I havent posted in like one william days lol.. And i find this one fun.. the little items.#Looking for a new cat is more strenuous than I thought requiring multiple applications and like visits to the cat and all sorts of things #<-- guy who has only ever taken in strays and never Officially applied for an animal before lol .. And I've been having symptom flare #ups or possibly some new weird stomach thing which hopefully isn't serious AND I have dental work AND one million other various things #which are distracting me from my Primary Goals (finish my game. do costumes. do sculptures) and Secondary Goals (make videos. make #new friends (or general prgress on buying a house one day w/ a group of other hermits). excercise more). grrr.......... -_-#ANYWAY... I should get a new cat hopefully by the end of this week? I've been accepted for one and already met with them and all this stuff #so now I just have to pick him up in a few days. He's had an eye injury in his kittenhood so he's afraid specifically of human hands as he #associates them with people reaching to give him medical treatments and etc. But otherwise he seems social with other cats and is also like #not downright hostile or anything. he's just skittish and a bit wary of human touch. But he's only 1yr old so all of the medical trauma is #pretty fresh and I'm hoping he'll be able to settle down a bit soon enough. The person whos' fostering him currently said that it was a #really good sign that he actually came out and let me pet him and play with him a little. since with all other 10 applicants before me the #most he would do is sniff their hand and like. he let one of them pet him for one second then ran away. But it's also a foster to adopt #type of thing so I technically have 30 days to decide if I can manage him well or not. I think so though..?? THEN once he's settled I stil #have to look for another cat since I need two cats (and is better for him anyway in terms of promoting comfort and social behavior sicne #he does enjoy the presence of other cats. plus two young cats can play with each other and then there's less high energy kitten antics #directed towards you at 3am lol since they have a playmate). Which will be harder since this cat needs to be pretty calm (two skittish cats #might not work as well) so it's like.. the second one has more specific criteria I'm looking for which means it might take longer alas.#anyway.. oughh... I just hope my tooth thing goes okay (last time I got a crown there were issues with it). and that my stomach problems #arent serious. and that I can finish my game soon. and that the cats all sort out well. eeee. and to make a few sculptures. and so on.#I just wish to feel productive and settled and content going into summer. sad that spring has been so busy so far. given that Evil Season #is approaching.. this is MY time to rest and do the things I like! and it's being taken up by Tasks and Quests... gwaarrpp... < (new thing #all the kids are saying actually). The only good thing I suppose is that since Noodle died I have been getting better quality sleep since #I'ven't had an ill needy cat crawling on me waking me up 2-8 times a night. Though its almost worth it for his ultimate cuteness otherwise #lol. I don't think this new cat will wake me up really. at least not at first. since he's like.. avoidant of humans for now and not a lap #cat. If he did ever start to crawl on me at night I'd be impressed actually that he's overcome his fear. And scared because he's skittish #and has big claws lol.. that i'd turn over in my sleep and startle him and he'd claw my sleeping face or something..erm.. hopefilly not #ANYWAY.. a little update in tags... i WANT TO POST MORE ART AND THINGS AA!! just.. stuff.. busy-ness... gwarrp indeed..

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