~(=^ΦωΦ^= )~ @icewindandboringhorror - Tumblr Blog

mr. hide behind the curtain boy

#he's so fluffy like he's not long haired but his fur is very thick. I hope he'll be okay in the heat. I wish he trusted me enough to handle #him and such because I could maybe brush him or wet his fur lightly with a damp cloth (things I used to do with the other cats in the #summer). He'll sit in my lap now and always seems excited to be pet BUT still picking him up or fiddling with his paws or ears or things #like that is nearly impossible without him being distracted by being fed a treat the whole time or somehting #I feel kind of demoralized sometimes but then I do have to take perspective. that i'm comparing a cat with serious medical trauma #having to be handled by humans in painful ways from illness in his early life and then shuffled from shelter to shelter for anxiety who #is only like 1.5 yrs old and also has only known me for maybe 4 months. TO my 15 and 18 year old cats that never had really any bad experi #ences in their early lives and I also literally watched them be born in person and raised them from kittens LOL.. of course he's not going #to just let me pick him up flippantly and be my bestest friend in the world in such a short time #anyway...... son boy......#repeat reblog

peace and calm moodboard

#one can always find pictures in the folders of their computer to cheer themselves up lol #I'm a little dubious about the cat with a coffee straw near it's mouth picture (me taking everything too seriously that I must formally #announce concerns with a meme image) idk it just looks like an uncomfortable position or something or like.. unnatural? I think its okay #to pose cats for photos as long as it's in a natural form (like.. a position they would normally be in) but sometimes when it looks #too constructed its offputting to me. like if the kitten were just sitting in the seat normally in front of the cup sniffing it without #it being laid back and buckled in. hmm... anyway.. but it evokes a concept. so I like the picture in a way.... hrmm... The Contemplatorrrr #ANYWAY.. I actually have a ton of pictures saved on my computer all organized into different folders and etc. Which I guess is common??#I think it depends. I know a lot of people just have a pinterest account or something external. But I like to save and organize my own #offline copies. Kind of the same with how I never use spotify/whatever music streaming stuff/youtube #playlists and rather just download mp3s with a youtubetomp3 converter and keep any song I want organized natively on my computer.#I just hate havong to rely on the internet to access anything important. Thats why online games annoy me and I will never play them lol #If i need an internet connectiion. then i shall have nothing to do with it. Because what about the day it's gone? whats the point then?#Theres such a precariousness introduced to things where you really own nothing in the world and it's normalized. Lack of permanence offputs #me. Or moreso to be dependent on an outside structure (tech companies. internet connection. etc.) for something meaningful.#I have plenty of sideblogs where I reblog fashion or world inspiration or etc. But if I REALLY like one of those pictures I have to save it #too so that I still have it if tumblr exploded or something lol. Kind of like how if I had a house I would immediately fit it with #alternatives to every necessary system (electric heating but also a wood burning stove. AC but also awnings and shade trees and #other forms of cooling. some sort of reserve water. solar panels. an electric fridge but also a cold storage cellar. etc. etc.) just becaus #I hate ever having all eggs in one basket like.. from a general existence perspective it just seems rational to always have at LEAST #a plan b. if not also c and d. for pretty much anything that you genuinely find significant. I really hate being inconvenienced (not in a #upper class hyperindividualist speak to the manager type entitled way. but in a like.. I already have such low energy and chronic pain and #SO many incoveniences built into myself that I cannot escape from that I seek to optimize other parts of my life to make things as easy on #myself as possible. And often a little forethought and preparation can save you a lot of what would have been additional strain down the #line. I think it's interesting sometimes that in out current sort of hyperconvenience capitalism culture - some things are actually so #centralized and streamlined as to be like... LESS convenient? in terms of - if one single thing goes wrong then it's a lot of problems.#Which for people wanting everything to be Easy and Efficient.. actually sometimes the '''harder'' version of something is easier in the #longrun. or like.. more stable. ANYWAY. what in the blazes am I on about..?? never let me say anything sleep deprived. what does any #of this have to do with cute pictures of cat.?? ANYWAY. yayy... kibby #I think thats why I post so few of my drafts (I have 200 of them) bc it will be something simple like ''ooh this is a cool mug'' which som #how turns into 'see THATS the thing abt systemic misogyny' then Im like man. i dont have time 2 proofread wtfever this is. abandon post lol

haha. yay :3

#aurgh.......... i just want to work on my freaking interactive fiction game that I was supposed to have done two months ago #so I am finally done with it and then I can play the sims and stuff again lol.. IF I HAD been more productive and gotten sick less I could #be playing the sims RIGHT NOW!! it could have already been done!! I know that sitting inside writing abd proofreading is not that hard #in the heat (compared to like. obviously it would be worse if I had a job outdoors or etc). But its just supremely evil to have heatwaves #WITH wildfire smoke in an apartment that is primarily cooled exclusively by putting fans in the windows. because now there's no #''bringing in cool outside air'' so the air in the apartment just gets hotter and hotter and hotter as the days go on because theres no #release or any way to get anything cooler. the one dinky little window AC in one room doesnt have an actual filter on it (it's like... just #a strip of mesh?? like I think it keeps small bugs out maybe but it's definitely NOT an air filter in any possible way lol). I have one #actual air cleansing filter that I could tape to one side of a box fan to make a kind of air purifier thing but thats like worst case #scenario and I really would rather avoid pulling any smoke into the house because .. well.. since its all smoky outside too then it's like #if I pollute the indoor air then it's just going to stay that way for days. theres no clean air source to borrow from. etc. ANYWAY..#obligatory obviously many people are in faaaaaar worse situations + ''unhealthy'' red air quality is not even that bad compared to like. ev #n here its been worse than that and in the purple a few years so this is '''''mild'''''. But still. it's a personal blog where I talk speci #ficially about my own life so its just kind of a minor like ''man this stinks due to the circumstances (weather making me sick during a #time that I'm trying to be as productive as possible)'' not me being like ''AGONYY this is the WORST that has ever happened to a humaNN ToT #'' or whatever LOL. This justifies my decision to move to a different apartment complex though bc my fear was always that as wildfires get #worse one day the smoke will intersect with the heat. in my old apartment there was HEAVY reliance on HAVING to run the fans #all night to cool stuff down. since with the windows getting full afternoon hot hot sun for like 7+ hours a day it was like a greenhouse.#and would regulaly be like 86F indoors all night and only reach 70F by the morning by running like 6 fans all night constantly. So at #least in this apartment there's only direct sun for a few hours at like 9:30am - 1pm. and half of it is blocked by a stairwell to another #building plus a tree. which means no view out the window really but also less sun. I can't imagine how this would be in the other place. At #least there are SOME heat mitigating factors here. Still wild to me that no apartments have awnings over the windows or all tile floors #or more '''built in'' heat removing methods. there s alot people could do to trap heat in less and thus cut down on peope having to use AC #or making it better for times like this when poeple CANT. (excpet for the central ac folks with air filtreation systems......aouhg.... )#ANYWAY. And of course I still follow covid studies and stuff which means I'm masking (seems like every new research it's just discovering #worse things it can do longterm lol) so at least I have some masks for going outdoor+ could wear inside if needed. but GRR. it's always so #hard to sleep when its hot and i nEED sleep because i NEED to be writing 8+ hours a day. The past two days I've done hardly anything. -_-#If i ever get to buy a house one day I am implementing SOO many non-electricity non-window based methods for keeping it cool. I want #an undergound cold storage cellar too so can keep food cool even if the electrical grid fails so.. maybe I could even hide out in there LOL #regularly announcing ''off to the cellars I go!!'' to my hermit house roommates as i waddle away carrying a huge box of snacks + blankets

He matches the color of the carpet in a way.. generic landlord designed neutral gray apartment cat..

#they use him as a color swatch. all modern grays are based on him.#because he matches the floors too. and a gray accent wall. the wonderful variety of warm neutral colors in his coat #His mischievous and suspicious gaze...#the shrimply and ever-displeased prince. He seems to be doing okay in the heat despite how fluffly he is. he has huge fur tufts in between #his toe beans and has much fluffier ears and tail than Noodle did. I just have to keep giving him wet treats though since he never drinks.#the person I got him from says he didnt drink often then either. Hes just weird. he also never chews?? even dental treats which are suppose #to be big so they chew them and generate tooth friction to clean their teeth. he swallows them whole and then almost gags. like........#hewwo.... that defeats the entire point.#At least he like to be pet some of the time now. he doesnt avoid all touch as much. but hes SO sleepy. and hes always #been sleepy but idk.. for a one and a half year old cat he seems to lay around a LOT. and just be bored and disinterested by most stuff.#though the anxiety medication hes on (started it when in the shelter and couldnt handle the stressful environment) says it #can make cats really drowsy or etc. maybe it needs to be adjusted. i just hope he doesnt have any more secret health problems #or something.. My poor little kittenly son... doesnt even know how to chew or how to meow or be normal at all really LOL #I decided to wait until after finishing my game to try to get a second cat just because it wouldbe so schedule disruptive. but I feel bad #for him in that I think having a second cat to socialize with and mirror would really help his weird social devlopment and etc.#ANYWAY.. he...#My typical ''oops I havent posted in 10 days'' random cat picture lol. I WANT TO START DOING SCULPTURES AND STUFF AGAIN SOON AAA #difficult to be productive in the evil summer elements but I am doing my best. huzzah... To the like 10 of you that actually #read my tags. and the probably 5 out of that 10 who actually care about my worldbuilding. and then the probably 2 out of that 5 #who are interested in the medium of visual novels/interactive fiction.. Hopefully you shall have a fun game to play soon. LOL..#hashtag my impossibly niche creations. Maybe one day I will learn some proper way to promote a game other than vague whispers #deep in the tags nobody reads. I knowwww you're meant to post screenshots but like.. of WHAT. I'm not doing anything interesting. I can't #like livestream art progress or whatever some people do bc all the art and stuff is done lol. showing what I'm working on would just be #like a plain looking image of some lines of dialogue in jEdit or something. Very very enticing of course. ooooh. letters and words.#alas..

icewindandboringhorror

crawling out of my hermit wizard tower to finally post another costume .. I wanted to do something higher effort with like, two sets of horns and elaborate head jewelry and makeup and such but I started to feel headachy, so alas... lol.. Just some sort of elf in fancy jewelry... Perhaps going to an Event? Or, maybe they just look That Way all the time and this is them going to pick up groceries.

#repeat reblog #WAAHH when can I do more costumes.. aaahhh #If I can finish my game this summer then I hope it can be the Autumn of Costumes And Sculptures.. or maybe the winter of such #things. as if all goes well then autuumn willjust be me uploading 8000 videos to my game playing youtube in the span of one single month #as my ''I am banned from playing other games until my own game is finished'' ban is lifted and I rush into doing nothing but playing #games and editing videos for 24 hours striaght reguarly LOL. but THEN. then the costumes. huzzah and so on

being forced to make an account on like EVERY website nowadays just to even look at it or make a single one time purchase is indeed profoundly infuriating, but at least I am cushioned slightly from the spam by my beloved network of multiple side emails and google voice phone numbers and old cell phones that are exclusively attached to fake names. #my500emailadresses

#I do have multiple emails&accounts connected to one google voice number though so going through the messages on there is interesting #since all the texts will be to whatever different random name I used on some place #''Hello Turkey Leg! You have a free offer...'' ''Hi Blunkorp. get 50% off'' ''It's MEAT time Mr.Grunpleton. free Arbys cupon'' blah #blah blah #ANYWAY.. I had to order something from home depot because they dont have it at any store anywhere remotely near me (I will drive #literally over an hour just to pick something up physically i hAAAATE ordering online) and it was just ONE little $7 order #with free shipping but making an account to check out was mandatory.. like -_-#okay... fake phone number and email be upon ye. shipped to po box. paid with side paypal that i had extra #money on which is under a vague account name. I know everywhere it still tracking me regardless #but at least they can sort through all the mess first #I get stuff delivered to fake names at my different addresses all the time lol. I think really just the literal address has to be correct #but you can do any name. I signed up for one of those things where they give you free product samples so you can test them #and I was a 35 year old father of 4 who was an engineer with 2 cats and my name was like Daniel Lumpton or something lol #but I did get a few free cosmetics and cat food a few times :3 #on the survey things there they'll have you fill out basic questions like how many people are in your household. what are their ages #and genders and etc. And for me it'sjust like the sims or something gjhbjh... ''Hmm should i have a wife? Guess so. How old is she? Hmm.''#A worldbuilding exercise rather than a literal accounting of household makeup #I think that's part of why I hate the ''if youre not guilty then you have nothing to hide!'' sentiment. or ideas about people being very #detail oriented and dedicated like this as being Up To Something or whatever. like.. ok guess I'm a serial killer then.#I will never stop being meticulously defensive over my peace of mind lol... enjoy your 7000 spam emails and such though.#On the random old secondhand ipad that I use for art my appleaccount name on there is Gregory and I have a few fast #food rewards apps on there so I can get free stuff from time to time and I always just pretend I'm someone picking up an ubereats order #or something. I'll walk in with my ipad squinting at it like 'umm.. I'm here to pick up for.. uh.. Gregory??'' LOL.#Love to join a food app for the ''free welcome item bc youre new to the app!'' and then pickup my welcome item then delete the app. :3

Think about all aspects of your life in 2016. Compared to the modern day, would you consider your situation NOW to be better, or worse than it was back then?

Compared to 10 years ago, my life currently is...

A LOT better!

A little bit better overall

Almost exactly the same (and this is a good thing)

Almost exactly the same (and this is a bad thing)

A little bit worse overall

A LOT worse :(

10 yrs ago I was an infant/toddler thus can't really compare accurately/ etc

Voting ended onJul 14

#tumblr polls #I'm sure very similar polls have been done lol but I was just thinking about this. so.. eh #Not really thinking about it personally but like in a broader sense. Like economy on average seeming worse in a lot of places #however also I think it's highly individual. Like maybe someone has a worse job now than they did 10 year #s ago BUT also 10 years ago they were in a horribly abusive relationship and thus they feel that comparitively they're actually #doing better now even if theyre doing worse economically. because the average amount of net suffering in their life has still decreased #so on and so forth. That's why I mentioned to think about ALL aspects not just one. and like weigh all together #For me. hm.. I feel like... literally some aspects are better and some are worse? in a way where it exactly evens out.#There are benefits now that I didn't have back then but there are also ailments now that I didn't have back then. so genuinely #I couldn't weight one strongly over the other ?? maybe like... marginally worse-leaning but not so deeply bad enough to say #that its like REALLY worse.#Now if we're comparing like. 2008 to 2026 then definitely worse. but also I think everything feels easier when you're a child lmao #that's why I have the opting out option for very young people. but like.. 2016 to 2026..?? eh..#Or maybe I'm just being overly optimistic about everything lol. like I'm counting it like ''well sure everything costs more now #and rent is crazy and i'm much sicker and x and y and z BUT. I have improved my art somewhat and I have a new cat that I like :3''#as if those few things make up for the other material conditions around me LMAO.. but idk!!!#I think maybe this is where my generally flat emotional range makes it hard for me to compare things that way sometimes.#When bad things happen to me I'm just kind of like 'aw :|' and when good things happen I'm like 'yay! :|' so ... lol #(I mean unless they're rEALLY bad. then it's more like.. .. I can usually only get angry or scared. I don't really feel sadness. whatever #I could be sad about usually just annoys me instead. because like. obviosuly not EVERYTHING. but a good 50-70% of problems #could be preventable with foresight and preparation and everyone being wise and following rules/smart practice/scientific data.#(Even big stuff like climate change like.. well if we followed DATA instead of ego/greed/cognitive bias/etc itd be 'solved' already -_-)#Like if I got food poisoning after eating at a relatives house I would just be peeved that obviously they weren't taking food safety #seriously enough and now I'M facing consequences. so clearly i should've been in the kitchen watching them the whole time and then I #wouldn't be sick in the first place. etc. etc. Hence its often more like 'UGH. >:|' than 'oh noooo :( :'( '' . So even the objectively #worst times of my life havent felt like soul crushing despair more like.. just being angry often.... and then most likely forgetting about #it entirely as soon as I'm out of the angering situation since I also have very little permanence lol. which is ANOTHER thing that makes it #hard to evaluate. Even the things I do feel are quite 'out of sight out of mind' ... Interestingly I've heard some mention that #aphantasia can be associated with lessened emotional memory or something so I wonder if that's true/what the workings of that are..#hrmmm... anyway

mr. hide behind the curtain boy

#he likes to sit in a little corner of course. hashtag his corner.#just realized I hadn't posted in one william days so I need to resurface onto social media lol #He's being a little nicer now. Over 24 hours since the last time he scratched at me with claws out lol. Though I worry about him in #the upcoming July 4th nonsense because I think the fireworks will really spook his already skittish nature..#Also he seems to get bored with toys crazy fast. He'll be obsessed with one toy and run around playing with it for maybe 3 days #and then if I try to play with him with it again he just kind of stares at it nonchalantly . So I have to keep swapping out his toys. but #at the moment he seems bored of nearly all of them. and I don't have the money to buy new things constantly lol.. Hopefully soon I can get #him a sibling and then a living creature to bond with will give him entertainment or etc. It's just hard to meet the expected #like hour or so of play a day when half the time he's like a bored prince flippantly waving away every jester that attempts to dance for hi #.ANYWAY.. soo close hopefully to having my game at least in a state to be playtested ToT.. then hopefully it can be done (well like.. I #Initial Version done. there's still content that can be added in the future if there's any interest in it. But because I have so many other #projects in my life to juggle it doesn't seem worth it to spend a whole other year writing 200k+ additional words without putting out #at least a smaller proof of concept so I can know maybe more than 2 people care about it first before that type of investment lmao.. becaus #I could also be making sculptures and doing lots of other things with that 200k words time.. if that makes sense).. BUT hopefully it can be #in at least it's initial state of completion soon..and I can play GAMES again... I miss games.. Iv'e been on a ban from the sims and anythi #ng else until I finish my more important tasks. But the summer is such an evil stinky lethargic time it's like.. OUgh... I need to build #an apartment in the sims NOW .. the enrichment for my cage and so on.. the new tomodachi life.. aoughhh #Also if you 1. are someone who reads this far into the tags (perhaps implying a curious and detail oriented nature) 2. someone who likes #visual novels/character focused dialogue heavy things & fantasy genre worldbuilding and 3. have a decent amount of free time to play #games in the next like 2 or 3 months or so.... then let me know.. I am still looking for a few more playtesters maybe. OH number 4. you #are a leftist intersectional feminist anti racist non transphobic so on and so forth etc. etc. That's important. I mean i wouldnt think any #one hardcore right wing would follow me???? but just in case I gues?? If a playtester's feedback is just going to be ''UM.. i think this #game has a GAY person in it??? instant 0/10'' then that's worthless lol. Also why familiar to visual novels is sort of important. Once #before I had some General Gamers give feedback on an interactive fiction type game I did and some were like 'umm..#this is a lot of reading??? and like.. i have to always be advancing the dialogue? its really just a lot of clicking and reading :/''#yeah.. it sort of IS going to be that. Like opening a book and being like 'um.. there's a lot of WORDS?? soo... :('' but anyway... hrbgg #I'm always nervous about the future of society and humanity and I dislike summer as a season and fireworks are stinky and I still have #health problems.. BUT. at least. Maybe I can finish my interactive fiction game. then finish my worldbuilding videos. then #hang out and build stuff in the sims and do costumes and just chill for like a few months lol.. mayhaps.. if possible.#and hopefully the boy son will become calmer as well and less skittish all the time... sir shrimplet... kittenly boy...

icewindandboringhorror

I FINALLY got pictures of the train station pigeons!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ….babeys

#you know what? pibbies again..#i miss them.......#repeat reblog

icewindandboringhorror

today’s fantasy creature aesthetic is apparently being over-decorated to the point that it looks a bit nonsensical lmao

#2017???? gaaaghhrhghh #going through my blog again.. i didn't realize this was that long ago #I must get back to doing costumes on a regular basis rather than like once or twice a year lol #aughh..........#repeat reblog #trying to reblog some actual image or something on top of all the just random text posts from my drafts lol

"You can't just sit around and wait for good things to come to you in life, you've got to get out there and seize it, work for it, TAKE what you want!!!!"

me who barely has the energy to brush my hair twice a week:

#but then there's also ''good things come to those who wait'' PLEASE be true LOL #I was going to give a different example of lack of functioning but people are still too weird about those with mental/physical ailments #who struggle with self care tasks lol.. Everyone is soo progressive and leftist and intersectional and disability rights until there's some #popular joke about how people who still live with their parents are losers or 'ewww omg u dont shower everyday? couldnt be ME. hashtag #STINKKYYYYY'' or that 'jobless' people are all freaks or so on and so forth. OR until someone says 'wear a mask' LOL.. :) :)#ANYWYA ghhjb.. not the point of this.. my inability to never not turn mundane things into rambling about systemic issues or something..#the ramblerrr... Why I could never be a streamer LOL.. In my edited game videos I can just cut out unrelated 10 minute long #rambling if it doesn't fit the general flow of the video. but live I would be stopping every 6 seconds to be like ''and you see. this #character design really does make you think about how pervasive these beautystandards are I mean. come on. this is all #manufactured. and GUESS who's profiting from it. look. wait. let me get this wikipedia article. SEE its-'' blah blah lol. ANYWAY #I keep thinking sometimes like 'ive got to go out there! get out in the world and DO things!!' but then it's like..man.. i dont think I can #Sheer Willpower my way out of some of this.. The truth is likely in the middle. i need to get out and Network and learn to socialize #and be more agressive in Seeking The Life That I Want like maybe.. 18% more than I am right now (as i'm already pretty goal oriented #and a very focused person in that regard. I'm an analyzer and a planner and have always been that way. i used to make powerpoints #for fun when I was a kid that laid out like.. my goals for the next 5 years and how to attain them and etc LOL). BUT at the same time #I must also acknowledge that my health issues and functional limitations mean that my life will always look different from other #people and that there are some things I simply cannot ''push myself'' to do without causing harm or genuinely getting sick or something.#So like.. try a LITTLE harder. yes. But also be realistic with expectations.#Also if a goal oriented list maker isn't annoying enough. I also am a morning person *everyone on tumblr booing and throwing #tomatoes at me* lol. (just seems like a lot of insomniacs and night owls here. nightlife lovers. morning #people are seen as too Normie. Which to be clear I have chronic sleep deprivation and issues sleeping and struggle to wake up also #LOL. I just mean that like.. I feel so alive an energized and happy when I manage to wake up at 5am. And I'm afraid of the dark so I'd #rather always walk around in morning sunlight than nighttime. I'm a morning person who has been stacked with sims game esque #mood buffs which drastically reduce my ability to actually go to sleep on time or wake up in the morning. simple really. :3c

I like this pain chart from a doctors office I was in a few years ago, that it actually has little descriptions and such alongside it, helping remove some of the usual vagueness that makes it difficult to actually quantify anything lol

#also makes me realize that i have 5-6 pain more often than I'd previously thought since i do often have trouble sleeping and #ignoring it lol..#Also one time I got this random pain in my side for like 10 minutes and then it went away (thankfully) but I had registered it as ''maybe #a 6 or 5.5'' at the time. Looking back though it must have been a 7 or 8 actually because I was having trouble moving around and like that #type of thing where you struggle to talk becayse you just keep breathing really hard from the ache. Still no idea what that was..#I told myself I'd go to the hospital if it wasn't gone in 30 minutes and it did go but.. hrmm..#AND one time I got an IV at the hospital and it was definitely put in wrong somehow (like maybe touching a nerve or something??) and I #kept telling them it hurt and they'd just be like 'ermm yeah a little discomfort is going to be normal' and i did not know how to explain #how much pain it actually was because they just kept saying it was normal to feel a pinch or for it to be a bit achey. But on this scale it #was totally a 6.5 or something. Like I was squirming around in the hospital bed and being brought to tears every 5 minutes and it was so #impossible to ignore that I was considering just straight up leaving like. who cares what I originally came here for. i canNOT have this in #my arm another second its like unbearable. I was poking my hand with a pencil and slapping my own leg and doing like anything in #my power to refocus sensation on some other part of the body so I wasn't feeling the IV pain in my arm lol #But literally I don't know how else I was supposed to say that??? I feel like sometimes people see that I seem nervous/fidgety/kind of weir #/ don't make eye contact well/etc and assume that I'm some overstressed hypochondirac baby thats exaggerating everything #and maybe because I sometimes have flat expressions or I say things in a less emotive way or something or am trying to be polite #at all times or whatever it could be that like... I come across as formal and unaffected and thus not someone who is in pain.#When really I just don't want to be rude?? I could be like 'HOLYSHITTTT IMIN SO MUCH PAAAIN AAGAUGHHH' and start #sobbing but that's not how I express myself..?? if anything when I feel really bad I kind of just shut down and its harder to explain #things to people and I struggle upkeeping some sort of social facade of performing emotion so i may seem even LESS upset. Maybe #I should have like really performed crying?? Like instead of just the casual tears welling up in eyes but not really frowing or anything #I should have full on pretended to freak out or something?? I just feel like that also makes you look bad as well and could backfire so the #take you even less seriously. .. hrm.. ANYWAY.. idk that situation was weird. I still don't know always how to say 'I am in pain' in a #convincing way where people belive me. because it seems like 50% of the time they dont. but I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong lol #AND it didn't even leave a bruise or anyuthing so it was weird. I had a different painful IV once and there was a huge bruise after. That #other one just hurt insanely intensely and then the area seemed totally fine after... what even happened...#ANYWAY. this scale is the first time I've seen descriptions too like that.. maybe helpful for other people too..

icewindandboringhorror

a few “out of style” (aka not just slim featureless black rectangles) cell phones from ebay that have design elements I still really love

#AAAAAh remember this...........#phombges........#I still want them all lol #repeat reblog #gods especially the square one like. its SO cutey charming

icewindandboringhorror

Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~

(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)

#I still find this quite fun. I like the sleeves and vest combo #repeat reblog

icewindandboringhorror

some silly vampire photos lol

#i just remembered him... going through my blog...#why did i do this with such nonsensically messy hair he looks like he just fell down a flight of stairs or something gyhhbjhb #meeee in the summer. how i walk around disheveled from evil temperatures.#......wait. actually might have literally been me in the summer... LOL #graafgggghh i need to do costumes again aaaaaaaaaaaaa #Frustrating that my current situation is mostly just doctors being like 'ahh. this might be why youre tired and sick all the time. aha!' an #i go 'cool so what can be done about it?' and they go 'erm... idk.. :)' or 'welllll. nothing YET. it has to get worse first. :)'#like.........okay. yay <3 #please can i have a little bit of functioning and energy... bleeassseeee #I mean I do still do stuff. i'm working on my game. editing videos. little things. But I used to do costumes and stuff like WAY more often #and I could juggle multiple things at one time (so me working on my game wouldnt mean that I have no time for anything else and #I could still do costumes or something at the same time). but it feels like I've lost some ability to do that to a degree #ANYWAY.. hrmm... picture #repeat reblog

It's silly how every year as summer approaches I'm like ''aghhh i must have some version of seasonal affective disorder, what's wrronggg with me I feel so badd :('' when really, if I think about it, everything just comes down to heat management. I have to sleep on the floor half the time because the bed is too hot even with no sheets on it. Must have fans constantly going in the background, which is a noise that I loathe, so I'm sensory overwhelmed at all times. The weird old window AC in a single room of the house is even louder than the fans and impossible to sleep when it's on, so it still gets hot at night with it off. Keep all windows blacked out for 6+ hours a day so no direct sun gets in. Need to check weather frequently to set up the series of 6 fans that move air throughout the house at the exact moment that the temperature outside is lower than the temperature inside. Can't use the oven during heatwaves because even the extra few degrees it adds makes a difference. Obviously it could be a lot worse (still thankful that this new apartment is at least not facing the direction of afternoon sun like my old one) but the constant low level background stress of micromanaging every aspect of the environment to keep from overheating, when applied to someone who's already chronically low energy/struggles with daily tasks + has health conditions that make them overly heat sensitive, would definitely be enough to decrease mood and cause a general Always On Edge type of feeling. It's not even a Disorder it's just me being annoyed for 3 -4 months straight, and I dread the summer so badly simply because I know I'm about to be annoyed for 3 - 4 months straight lmao.. like.. I diagnose you as 'needing a central AC system'. Literally that's it lol

#I mean I still wouldn't like to be OUTSIDE in the heat but i spend 90% of the time indoors anyway so like.. literally...#if I had a way that would keep my house cool that was QUIET and I could SLEEP while it was happening and did not require the #constant active effort of moving fans around half the day (seal the windows up to keep all sun and heat out. now open them and set #up all the fans. now cover everything again. now uncover it. now cover it. so on foreveer) and ALSO i could even keep the windows unblocked #because I wouldnt need to keep out every single trace of sun. AND no fans also means I dont need to bring in outside air and allergens #so I probably wouldn't have itchy skin and a constant low level headahce 4 out of 7 days of the week either. so on and so forth #like.. man.. imagine if the environment was just kind of passively cold... AND I COULD SLEEP IN MY BED!!!#I actually like sleeping on the floor because i love being on the floor. as true followers shall know (or i think i talk about it also in m #games youtube video where i build my ideal sims house and explain why i have so much little floor sitting spots lol) BUT its #also like.. not always that comfortable of course. especially my hip joints sometimes. even if i try to pile up pillows and stuff under #me and make a little version of a mattress. it still isnt enough cushioning. AND the more pillows and stuff you add the more #stuff there is that keeps in heat thus the hotter you get anyway. whci is the whole reaodn i cant sleep on the bed in the first place.#so i cant just recreate my whole bed but on the floor lol #ALSO can't play games on my computer since anyting that makes the room hotter is banned. One time I was playing the sims #and you could see my ambient room temperature rise by like 1 degree every 30min. Which seems silly and like it shouldnt #matter but the thing is that there is no effective way of REMOVING heat. These apartments just like my old one were also built for #rainy cool damp areas where the summers aren't that bad and they're meant to keep IN heat. So now with climate change and #it getting way hotter here now its like VERY hard to actually remove heat outside of just having central AC. like the materials and insulat #ion of the apartment itself just keep everything warm. so if you add even 5F from baking in the oven and playing sims 2hrs then that #5F is staying as like a permanent buff added to the temperature until the next time it's under 60F outside. Which during heat waves might #be days. Even like 5 fans on full blast cycling 65F air will only cool the place off by a degree or two by morning. It has to be 58F #outside at LEAST for the night air to make a meaningful difference. Especially since all windows are just on one side so theres no #way to get a cross breeze or anything through the apartment. I know it sounds like ''oh well just stop doing all that stuff if its stressin #you out!'' well then the apartment would be like 82F at all times and I would be not only stressed out but also in physical ailment lol #Even with all of my best efforts it still hovers at like 73F - 77F a majority of the summer. Which to ME with my heat sensitivity is like #to the point where I have trouble sleeping and feel sick all the time lol. But again. SO thankful I dont face the afternoon sun anymore.#Because then it was more like hovering at 75f - even 83F at night often. which even heat lovers may admit is hard to sleep in #anyway............... yay......................... summer............... :-) *eye twitching*#also I just turned all the morning fans off and it's like... oh my GODS.... the instant relief.. seriously its almost like i can physically #feel a difference in my body.. immediately tension lifted... droning background noise (fans. hairdryer. vacuum. etc) my true ENEMY...

For households that commonly take off shoes at the door: If you have a guest entering your house who is not wearing any socks, what would you rather them do?

Still take off their shoes and just walk around barefoot

Keep their shoes on if they're wearing nothing under them

Shoes on, just not allowed in carpeted areas

Barefoot, just not allowed in carpeted areas

N/A, My household doesn't have any rules about wearing shoes in the house

Voting ended onJun 18

#Just curious.. one of my landlords came over today and they took off their shoes at the door but weren't wearing anything under #them and it was just kind of weird to see them barefoot walking around. especially because they left muddy footprints around #Like it was raining a lot today and they were wearing these tiny little flat shoes so I understand they probably got wet and dirty.#I'm like sooo the opposite of a 'speak to the manager' type like. I will put up with almost anything as long as it's not morally unjust #(like someone attacking a minority group or something). Most interactions like that i just go 'hhmm.... weird...??' and shrug #A barista could literally throw my drink on the floor in front of me and be like ''fuck your stupid food you ugly FRREAKK BASTARDD!!'#and I would sincerely just react like '...huh.. well they must be having a bad day or something. clearly this isn't about me' and just calm #ly try to get a refund and leave lol. So idk. I mean it's annoying to clean up muddy footprints since it's a mess I didn't make but also.#whatever.. Because then I was thinking - well .. what DO you do?#If youre muddy and wet and coming in from the rain - do you wear your nasty muddy shoes? or is it better to track your wet muddy #bare feet through someone's house? It's not really their fault I guess that they got muddy so . what WERE they supposed to do?#I think I was mostly taken aback because they have these huge bloody scratches on their feet (i think from dogs? Iv'e seen #them walking through the property with like a big yappy dog before) so at first I thought the mud was dried blood. and its like.. okay THEN #thats a little weird because that's a biohazard lol.. But then upon closer inspection of the footprints it really just seemed to be like.#dirt caked on their toes or something..?#I'm probably in the camp of like. barefeet but just not on carpet.#Because a tile or wood surface is pretty easy to mop and clean. but I dont want someone's mysterious bare feet on a carpet which is much #harder to get stuff out of.. If they had tried to go into one of the carpeted rooms I would have probably been like. erm.. sorry but please #don't.. lol.. Like in as polite of a way as I can. Please not the wounded mud caked feet in the carpet. please..#ANYWAY... Just curious what the common thinking is. Because after they left I did start thinking like.. what even would be the best option #for them...??? I guess if it were me I just would like.. not have entered the apartment or something? Or would have tried to change shoes o #do that thing maintnenance people do where they have bags over their feet. But people don't always have time/ability to do that and maybe #didn't count on it being so rainy and muddy today so. ?? I know some people are also really grossed out by other people's bare feet #so I wondered if that would factor into things. or like what's culturally acceptable. I guess I find feet gross??? Not horribly #so though. But like. enough that I wouldnt want a stranger to walk on my bed pillow barefoot. Then again isnt that normal?? who would #actually be okay with a stranger putting their bare feet on your bed... hmm.. lol.. That's like saying ''well. i guess im a little bit #bothered by pain. like. for example i wouldn't want someone to break my legs.'' < as if ANYONE is sitting around wanting someone to #break their legs like. as a norm or something lol

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