#wild-chaser

[wild-chaser]

[Thiam]

So, this is kinda specific but what about Liam being hurt specifically poisoned and the pack comes and blames Theo and he's like "No, I wouldn't. I wouldn't poison him" and then he look at liam and he's like "I would never poison you, please believe me" and he's kinda panicked

(the dialogue is obv just an example)

It has been 19 hours and Theo could hear the clock of the universe ticking in his ears.

“Just tell me if he’s alright,” he asked Hayden for the eighth time, tightening his fingers on the rusty metal bars.

She sat in the corner and ostensibly turned up the volume on her iPhone. She had gotten a text message less than fifteen minutes ago and her heart rate changed, but Theo couldn’t tell what it meant for Liam. He only knew that it meant something and Hayden decided to keep it from him.

On one hand, Theo understood her rage - she believed he had been the one to poison Liam. On the other, he did not care. The uncertainty was destroying him, one cell at a time. His nerves were frayed and he had issues with Hayden even before she became the only thing that kept him away from crucial information regarding Liam.

He should be bothered that his claws were out for the past several minutes when he never consciously decided to call on them, but that was an issue to be resolved when (if) Liam was safe again.

“Tell me!” he roared, eyes glowing, fury clouding his mind as his patience ran out.

If Theo had to tear some throats to get the information he needed, well. He used to think such means were behind him, but the clock was ticking. Liam’s life clock.

His claws left scratches in the metal as he pulled the bars apart, which seemed impossible for him just a few hours ago. Hayden’s eyes widened as she jumped to her feet, thumb already aiming for speed dial. But it never reached its goal; Theo charged at her in a blink of an eye, raising her from the ground by her throat.

“I ask for the last time: is Liam alright?” hissed Theo, looking into her scared eyes, feeling nothing but fury towards her.

One could easily miss that is was the fear for Liam that drove every single one of Theo’s current actions.

Too easily.

to be continued...

[wild-chaser]

So I got this prompt to write a small thiam thing.

And this happened:

[wild-chaser]

Scrivener vs. Focus Writer

This may be a wild take, but hear me out.

I've got Scrivener for a while now, I do know how to use most of its fancy features and it does not scare me (anymore). But the longer I analyzed my writing process, the more I realized that

Scrivener just doesn't work for me

It is meant to be a software supporting writers, enabling them to keep all the research, planning, outlining and character development in one place, which is nice.

Seems to be nice. But to me personally is also

distracting as hell

I fiddle with the theme, I color-code the outline cards, I change the font almost every two weeks because it suddenly feels off and then it's inconsistent across the files and it drives me crazy, even through it's one of the Scrivener's feature that it doesn't matter. But it does drive me crazy, so I just fiddle with it more and more. There are so many things that can be fitted just to my liking that I just keep changing everything all the time because I just never seem to like it. And in the end it triggers my anxiety, because I just spent an hour on my writing without doing any actual writing. Maddening.

enter Focus Writer

a program that is at the opposite end of the spectrum

if Scrivener has everything, Focus Writer has nothing

but guys, after seeing my word count skyrocket for the past few weeks, let me tell you

nothing feels incredible

The things that may annoy others but that I grew to love:

the typewriter sounds - they make me feel like a writer and set the rhythm and atmosphere

tick-tick tick-tick-tick tick-tick-tick-tick-tick

the little percentage bar at the bottom that shows my daily progress (depending on the set daily goal)

counting the words from all the open projects together into the daily goal (so I don't set the goals for a project, I set the goal for my daily writing)

the little summary of the written scenes on the right side

the fact that it has everything I need and not a thing more

In short: I recommend Focus Writer because I noticed that it truly works wonders for me.

It may not be perfect for editing (in fact, I'll probably edit through Word or Scrivener in the end), but it is perfect for getting those words on the page.

Here's where you can download it for Windows and Linux and I'm not entirely certain where I downloaded it for Mac (the page I linked to says it's not available for Mac, but don't believe it and google /FocusWriter for Mac/ since I know for a fact that it can be installed and used there too).

If you're curious about my Focus Writer Theme*, let me know - I'll share the details in another post.

*yes, I did not stay with the defaults for long

[wild-chaser]

sorry for the sad topic but who do you think has more internalized homophobia between Eddie and Buck and how do they show it? We always talk about Eddie but I think Buck has a lot too, mostly about the fear of never have a real family, yk how he always feels abandoned.

I do feel Eddie has more internalized homophobia and that Buck is just oblivious. But it is all a bit more complicated than that.

Since Eddie has this problem, he treats Buck like either friend or a partner/co-parent, but the second one is not consistent. There are moments when they all behave like family, but then we get those episodes where Buck is firmly 'alone in his own life' and Eddie just offers vague comments, like a casual outsider. I think that messes Buck up and prevents him from even considering that Eddie could be something more. Hence: he's oblivious, but it's a forced obliviousness, because every time Buck is on the verge of thinking it can be something more, Eddie takes a step back.

I think that even if Buck had any internalized homophobia connected to the strong need to have a family, it would disappear as soon as Chris entered the picture. So I feel for Buck it's mostly the thing that is just hasn't "clicked" yet, which may unfortunately be connected to Eddies rather inconsistent behavior.

We do get a lot of this dance recently - Eddie giving Buck more space to spend time with girlfriends and what not, and Buck getting those girlfriends to not come back to the empty apartment. Or Eddie forcing himself to 'get back on the horse' while entirely failing to notice that he is, in fact, riding that horse for quite some time now.

That sentence is way too hilarious to delete, I'm keeping it. Sorry, not sorry.

To sum up: my feelings point towards Eddie dealing with some internalized homophobia, and Buck just taking non-verbal cues from Eddie while being this typical sad puppy who just wants to stop feeling so god damn alone all the time and just following his first brain-google-search result and finding a girlfriend. He tends to do that a lot.

[wild-chaser]

So I've been having this fic idea in my head for a while and it's not gonna happen anytime soon so I might well share it

Crossover: MCU/Fast and Furious

That scene where Steve and Sam approach Bucky in some sort of garage and he says:

"Your mom's name was Sarah. You used to wear newspapers in your shoes."

And my brain immediately went: whose garage is that?*

So imagine:

Bucky Barnes, lost, confused and with his memories still in pieces, stumbles across Dominic Toretto. His first thought is, why does the fighting never end, because of course seeing Dom he assumes Dom was sent by someone to get him.

But Dom sees him and his spidey-sense tingles, because Bucky is oozing disorientation and sadness, and never has Dom meet a stray he didn't immediately want to take under his wings. So of course a few days later Bucky is getting a crash course in car mechanics.

A few months later the change is visible - Bucky's memories are clearing up slowly but steadily, he gets his footing back (has a job, earns money, that's his first semblance of stability in almost a century), and Dom's family swallows him up like he's always been a part of it. It's not perfect without Steve, but the possibility of a confrontation scares the crap out of him. Can Steve even bear to look a him now?

So the moment Steve steps into that garage, it's not only Bucky's reaction he needs to worry about. First and foremost he has to convince Dom that he hasn't had an army, public opinion or HYDRA thugs trailing right behind him, that he hasn't jeopardized Bucky's safe haven.

But isn't that always the case? Doesn't the world always need saving and doesn't Steve have a permanent hero complex that never lets him stop? Well, that's just history books talking. Because the truth is, Steve is still confused by the 21th century, tired of the fight that never ends (WWII was supposed to be it, god damn it), and he sure as hell is tired of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s bullshit.

So maybe, just maybe, instead of dragging Bucky back into the world of fighting, he lets himself be dragged into the world of cars, street races and Sunday barbecues.

And once the S.H.I.E.L.D. raises alert that America's favorite superhero is gone missing, Tony Stark does some independent digging and finds Steve, but when he does, he needs to reevaluate a lot of his opinions about him. "Not that golden anymore, Cap?" "I was never golden to begin with, Tony. But the war propaganda is never about the truth either."

Once Tony realizes Cap is serious, that he's not coming back to stars and stripes, he double-checks the precautions that Steve took (surprisingly solid for a guy who still uses proper punctuation in a Google search) and makes sure nobody, save for Tony of course, can ever track him. Because fuck S.H.I.E.L.D.

Also, seeing them running around on a wild-goose chase when Captain America happily fixes cars in LA for minimal wage? Tony will buy a bathtub of popcorn to watch that.

[*and I don't care whether it's truly a garage or not, and that I have to magically disappear Sam from that scene, or even that the timeline is probably fucked six ways from Sunday. Me no care. Me can do fanfic magic.]

[wild-chaser]

the first words of the first draft

For the first time in eternity I have sat down to write my own original work.

I have spent so much time outlining, creating characters, pretending to create the world (I am very bad at world-building), and most of all - agonizing that I haven't done enough of that to actually start writing and that my general writing skills are garbage, and that I've spent so much time on that already that it really, really shouldn't be garbage but it will be (you see the cycle? cause I see the cycle, but it doesn't really help me break it)

I've had some drafts of that story that I worked on before, including one from NaNoWriMo that I absolutely hate and don't plan on coming back to it ever, because it's trash. All of those are.

For a while now I've been thinking about just writing a first draft (again), but this time from start to finish, just so that I finally have something. Because it's a terrible feeling to have this story in your head for years, work on it more or less for years too, but in the end to have nothing, literally nothing to show for it.

And now I've got like 800 words and on one hand, it's nothing, but on the other it feels like I've actually started the First Draft - the one I'm actually gonna write till the end, and later revise.

So it's small, but it's also big.

And I'm feeling tentatively excited about it.

[wild-chaser]

So I’ve been tagged by @sky-larking to post the last sentence I wrote, and then tag as many people as there are words in that sentence. 

My sentence is:

Morons, all three of them.

It’s for the last chapter of my Supernatural fanfic: Save people, hunt things, keep going  I’m tagging: @snakevyro @sanctuaryforalluniverses @flynnboyant @nevcolleil @extrasteps I hope I didn’t screw anything up, I’m usually not one for that kind of thing. But I like this sentence, so I thought, why not? ;) 

[wild-chaser]

“Tomorrow may be hell, but today was a good writing day, and on the good writing days nothing else matters.”

~Neil Gaiman