#willtowander

[merlinoutofcontext]

as a gay scholar let me say Merlin Ambrose is a regular old fashioned gay, Merlin Wyltt is a full on queer activist who marches in pride half naked

i love this ✨

[hungerpunch]

Goos luck my bbs I am praying for you! Good vibes and hand holds all around 🙏🍃💕☄

[brokendrums]

valencing replied to your post “valencing replied to your post:blaaaahi know that feeling :/ it sucks...”

:( it's probably better than you think tho!

://// i hope so haha. i probably need to leave it like a week and ignore/detox from it. oh well /o\

willtowander replied to your post: blaaaah

LMAO SAME about wanting to restart I mean. Except I really can’t restart. Not enough time + energy etc. they’re due in a month ��

it’s so soon! i’m rubbish at deadlines. why did we do it????

[brokendrums]

willtowander replied to your post “nialljustgotwet  replied to your post “.”that would be nice wouldn’t...”

Oh I thought you meant discussing already written and posted fic oops. But I'm all for complaining about fic I'm writing too! And IB is like advanced courses in school lol.

MOST DEFINITELY THAT TOO!! i love discussing fic, granted normally via tag vomit. and lol - i probably should’ve guessed that about the courses in school!! 

[tomfjord]

willtowander replied to your photo “Have a sip #hamburgermarys”

SIS I SEE THAT TAPATIO

i actualfax turned the bottle around to make sure the label was peepin, ngl

[hungerpunch]

reply box

moondoggiestyle replied to your post “*still does not know how to one direction without zayn*”

mostly i live in a state of denial and avoid reblogging ot4 posts. i imagine this strategy is going to work less and less once the tour starts up again :(

oh my god i know it’s silly but i hadn’t really thought about the influx of ot4 once tour starts again... iiiii’m notttt readdyyy. *face in hands* i need to design and enforce some better coping mechanisms like ASAP :( :( 

willtowander replied to your post “*still does not know how to one direction without zayn*”

i keep thinking i can...but then i see a pic of just the 4 of them and i think of reblogging it...and every single time i'm like HMM maybe later...

this aptly describes my process as well. like okay, maybe, mm, no.. , nevermind. nothing compels me, nothing grabs me w/o zayn :’( 

feelings-hulk replied to your post “*still does not know how to one direction without zayn*”

Thanks for posting this, genuinely. It's comforting to know it's still hard for other people too.

yes oh gosh, of course. i’m glad. we’re in this together, for sure, a little more than i think everyone realizes. <333

zlall replied to your post “*still does not know how to one direction without zayn*”

I CANT DO IT I STILL REBLOG HIM AND ACT LIKE EVERYTHING IS THE SAME

i admire your endurance, katelyn!!! i try sometimes but, i. i can’t look at him w/o the reality hitting me. i was doing oookay i guess until louis v nb twitter fight ft. zayn and now i just feel ashen in my heart tbh. 

unfriendlyindianhottie replied to your post “*still does not know how to one direction without zayn*”

ME :((((

*holds your hands* :((( solidarity in sadness :(

[hungerpunch]

PLEASE DO YOUR Z-BOYS AU!!

Sorry, I forgot numbers. 2, 7, 11, 14

eeeeeeeeeeeeeee OKAY OKAY *deep breath*

2. What’s my favorite part of the fic?

weirdly enough i think it’s when, after getting in that nasty confrontation with greg, niall goes to harry’s house and zayn is there, and they fall asleep on the couch together. it was one of the first scenes i wrote and it was such a soft part of an otherwise un-soft fic. if it’s not that scene, it’s when they’re inside the church and niall is watching zayn paint.

7. Were there any major decisions I made about the fic that could have made it go a whole different direction?

kind of! since it is a historical AU, it had a loose plot line predetermined. but my original tree & outline for this fic got cleaved in half while writing—and it still turned out over 30k lmao sob. there initially was a lot more going on with the other boys. there would have been scenes that emphasized harry’s parents’ negligence, and you would have seen a lot more about how far louis was willing to go to provide for his family. liam, too, got more fleshing out and omg little mix was like their OWN au going on within the au, originally. 

the real challenge was deciding where to end it. the actual story of the z-boys isn’t happy, and i struggled almost til the deadline on whether or not i’d deal with that. ultimately, because of time & my soft heart, i decided to end it happily :P

11. If I were to rewrite this fic, what would I change?

blahhh a lot. i kind of wish i could just rewrite it but i don’t feel strong enough haha. idk certain parts don’t feel three-dimensional enough to me—especially wrt to their skating. it’s a z-boys AU fgs & it’s pretty bereft of actual skating scenes. i think i would also include more intimate interactions btwn zayn & niall to increase the build-up and not make certain elements of their attraction to each other feel so out of the blue.

14. If I were to write a sequel to this fic, what would it be about?

i think i would skip all the sad shit that happens (i felt vaguely weird bc there’s a real death that happens and i didn’t know if using that in fic would be like, exploitation??) and focus on them dealing with the aftermath of that. maybe zayn & niall would part thx to skating contracts and the sequel would begin with them coming back together for the first time ;-;

[hungerpunch]

crwthr replied to your post “i want fic where zayn’s secretly an empath and niall’s trying to keep...”

LO. WHY. WHEN ARE YOU WRITING THIS. AUGH

malikdicksquad replied to your post “i want fic where zayn’s secretly an empath and niall’s trying to keep...”

YES YES YES

fannyann replied to your post “i want fic where zayn’s secretly an empath and niall’s trying to keep...”

O H MY GOD

willtowander replied to your post “i want fic where zayn’s secretly an empath and niall’s trying to keep...”

wh aT the f UCk

apolloaegletes replied to your post “i want fic where zayn’s secretly an empath and niall’s trying to keep...”

oh god. oh g. ho oh god

OKAY Y'ALL BU TLISTEN--! then zayn has to struggle with figuring out what to DO about it. he respects niall/niall's boundaries but one of his best friends is hurting in a deep place, in a really insidious way, and he can't just let that go UNTENDED TO. but he can't reveal the fact that he's an empath, either. A TALE OF TRUST AND LOVE AND ANGUISH: to be written.