“dead ass.” she started her story, letting the other know that it was indeed a serious topic. “i was on my way to work this afternoon, you know, typical day in wilson, when all of the sudden a raccoon appears out of nowhere and makes eye contact with me. it wasn’t, like, a friendly ‘hello’ kind of eye contact, but a ‘i can smell the open granola bar in your purse, bitch’ kind of eye contact.” nina explained. “i gave the little thing space but he just wouldn’t get on his way. finally, i realized that in this stare down with a raccoon, i was going to be late for work, so i threw the granola bar in the other direction and ran.” nina concluded. “i’ve never been more terrified in my life.”