Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin. – Mother Teresa
I think Ulrich may have made someone angry. There is no other good reason for him to be burdened by us misfits. Perhaps they expect us all to fall, and in so doing, take Ulrich with us, so that all can be destroyed.
I will not fall though. I will not give in to the voice inside my head. It gets loud during training, the harder I work the louder the devil’s voice is. I hear their hearts beat, see their veins throb with the faster beat of training exertions. Its hard, but I will not give in.
Sister Aveline said that God is testing me by giving me this nature. That my path is one of self control and avoiding temptation. If I work hard enough, perhaps he will forgive my father’s sins and allow me into his kingdom. I have to do it, the only other path leads to eternal damnation and death.
My friends tell me that perhaps I shouldn’t be so withdrawn, and I should get to know the group. Its hard. Ethan and Amala are odd. They actually talk to me like I’m not a monster. They treat me like everyone else. Perhaps it comes with being sturdy in their faith.
Amala has a bad habit of saying words she shouldn’t. I’ve tried to help without being rude. I wouldn’t want her to think that I’m judging her. She is very kind and I just want to help her. She beat Ethan in our run today. It was pretty impressive. They are both so much faster than me. I hear the voice tell me if I gave in I would be faster than them, but that is just the Devil’s temptation
Lex looks lonely. I think he doesn’t like me very much, but I know what its like to be lonely and odd, so I try to be nice to him. We should always be kind to those that need it. Sister Aveline said kindness is our way of showing others God’s grace and mercy. I heard that he got in trouble, and that is why he has that scar. I feel like I shouldn’t listen to that, as idle gossip is a sin, but its hard not to hear things when you sit alone and everyone acts like you aren’t there.
Ash .... I know its wrong to judge. I feel like he abuses his gifts though. He goes to use them to cheat and pull pranks. Its wrong, and I wonder if perhaps he is more demon than saint. He is always trying to pick on Ethan. It makes me angry. Ethan works so hard to make up for his father’s sins, like I do, and Ash makes light of it. I shouldn’t have tripped him though. That was wrong. I went to confession and atoned for it. I didn’t want him to cheat, or to learn to abuse God’s gifts. Using his miracles for self gain is wrong. The priest told me I did a bad thing for a good reason, and that sometimes it is hard to see when its right or wrong. He said sometimes God acts through us to teach lessons, and perhaps that is what happened, but that my sin was being amused by it and making jokes about it later. That was pride and I should have been better.
They say someone new is joining our training group. Vi.. Vi...Vi.... I can’t remember his name. They say he is well known, but I can’t recall ever seeing him or hearing of him. They said he got kicked out of several other groups for being unlikable. That means he will fit into our group. It just adds more to my concern that perhaps Ulrich is in trouble. I suppose all I can do is leave it in God’s hands and do my best.
