Dec 17, 2021
there are two wolves inside of you
seen from Malaysia
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there are two wolves inside of you
Jaskier: Geralt? When are you going to bring me to Kaer Morhen for the Winter? I want to meet your family.
Geralt: My...Family...? *Flashes Back to Previous Winter*
...
Lambert: Slut!
Geralt: You’re a slut!
Lambert: Fuck you!
Geralt: You would, wouldn’t you?
Lambert: *Flips table* *Tackles Geralt*
Eskel: *Lap covered in porridge* Aw, you spilled my breakfast, assholes! *Joins in the wrestling match*
Vesemir: Dammit, pups! *Trying to separate them* That‘s enough! Knock it off! Lambert! Don’t bite your brother!
...
Jaskier: Geralt..?
Geralt: You aren’t ready for Kaer Morhen.
Jaskier:...You’re taking me anyway.
Kaer Morhen shenanigans (but mostly Lambert’s) part 4
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Here is: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10 and Daily Lambert
also Keira & Lambert’s love story, Aiden & Lambert’s love story and… this.
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Lambert, wearing an apron and towel over his shoulder: Eskel!
Geralt, also wearing an apron: Eskel you're home!
Eskel: What--
Berengar, wiping down the kitchen counter: Honey, I cleaned the house for you!
Lambert, opening the oven: I made dinner, doll!
Geralt: We missed you!
Berengar: Welcome home!
Eskel: Guys, please...
Eskel: This is Ikea. We're going to get kicked out
The Sweetest Sight
Geralt awoke to a terrible headache.
He didn’t bother opening his eyes, as that would have worsened the pain, but as he came to there were several things he noticed that were quite concerning.
Firstly, he was definitely not in his bed. The ground beneath him was hard, almost as if he were camping out in the middle of nowhere again. The crackling of the fire added to that illusion, making him wonder briefly if he and Jaskier were really still traveling.
Second, whatever he was lying his head on was absolutely not a pillow, neither was it his bedroll. It was someone’s stomach.
Thirdly, whoever this person was that he was lying on was not Jaskier because Jaskier was lying against his chest...At least, he thought it was Jaskier until he began scenting the air, determined to answer some of these questions for himself.
That solved everything, of course.
Geralt recognized his brothers’ scents straight away. Eskel was lying beneath him and Lambert was resting on top. Lovely. They were drinking the night before, again, and then all three of them had passed out in front of the fire in the common area.
“Awww look at you three.”
Geralt grunted at Jaskier’s voice approaching, his head still pounding.
“I love it when you’re all just curled up in a cute little witcher bundle.” The bard smiled as he knelt down next to his lover. “It almost makes me want to forgive you for not coming to bed last night.”
“Quiet.” Geralt growled, a sickening wave of nausea threatening to spew up out of his throat.
“Oh, that’s right. I’d forgotten.” Jaskier hummed, standing back up. “Poor thing. You must be terribly hungover.”
“Hmm.”
Geralt rested his arm over Lambert’s back, his eyes still closed as he laid there waiting for sleep to drag him back into a painless bliss.
“Oh my sweet sleeping wolves!” Jaskier squealed with delight again, earning another annoyed growl. “Such a shame we don’t have a painter to capture this darling moment.”
“Jaskier.” Geralt hissed.
“Oh, pipe down!” The bard gave a dismissive wave of his hand. “Just let me watch for a moment longer. You’re all so adorable, I just can’t help myself.”
“Watch in silence.” Geralt warned him.
That wasn’t going to happen.
Kaer Morhen shenanigans (but mostly Lambert’s) part 3
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Here is: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10 and Daily Lambert
also Keira & Lambert’s love story, Aiden & Lambert’s love story and… this.
.
[ Also here it is nice to remind you that Berengar, like Lambert, was dissatisfied with being a witcher and didn’t have a good opinion about Vesemir. This influenced his decision to reveal Kaer Morhen's location to Salamandra and cooperate with them. If you don't know who Berengar is, I highly recommend playing the Witcher 1. ]
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Vesemir: *points to Eskel* Dis a son.
Vesemir: *points to Geralt* Dis a son.
Vesemir: *points to Lambert* Dis a pointment.
Berengar: xD
Lambert: Fuck you.
Vesemir: *points to Berengar* Dis a ster.
Lambert: xD
Berengar: ...
Kaer Morhen shenanigans (but mostly Lambert’s) part 10
Here is: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9 and Daily Lambert
also Keira & Lambert’s love story, Aiden & Lambert’s love story and… this.
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Lambert: Ok guys, operation ‘This Will Most Likely End Badly’ is a go!
* meanwhile *
Vesemir: *Literally just chilling for once while reading the newspaper*
*Suddenly an explosion far away*
Vesemir: *Glares at the phone*
Vesemir: Don’t ring, don’t ring…
Phone: *Rings*
Vesemir: *Muffled angry sounds and sobbing*
*later*
Vesemir: I don't fucking believe this. What do you do, sit in bed at night and think about ways to fuck up my life? You’re like the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse!
Lambert: Can I be Death?
Vesemir: No, you’re Pestilence because you’re a god damn pest! And your insolence goes too far this time!
Lambert: Wrong. It can go a lot further!
***
Eskel: Oh, what's up Vesemir?
Vesemir, back from another day of dealing with his sons and their bullshit: What's up is my blood pressure.
Kaer Morhen shenanigans (but mostly Lambert’s) part 9
Here is: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10 and Daily Lambert
also Keira & Lambert’s love story, Aiden & Lambert’s love story and… this.
This time I will give you tired Papa Vesemir and bring closer the relationship of Berengar and Lambert as the oldest and youngest brother (don't judge me, I love both of these salty&bitter witchers).
this one is dedicated to @queenxxxsupreme
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Vesemir: I hope you're not doing anything foolish.
Lambert: I hope you're not hoping to hard.
Vesemir: Minus 5 points
Lambert: What?
Vesemir: I began to score your behavior. When you're on 100 points, I'll make you a witcher.
Lambert: Cool, whats my score?
Vesemir: -1298
***
Lambert: Do you think sand is called 'sand' because it's in between the sea and land?
Berengar: Lambert, it's fucking 3 am. Can we please just go to sleep?
*silence*
Lambert: *starts laughing for no reason*
*Geralt and Eskel start laughing*
Berengar: Why are you all like this?
Lambert: Can I ask you a weird question?
Berengar: Oh fuck, here we go again.
Lambert: Don’t you think “DO NOT TOUCH” is one of the scariest things to read in Braille?
Berengar: Okay, what the HELL goes on in your head?
***
Eskel: Who knew getting in trouble would be so hard?
Berengar: I gotta give you credit, Lambert. You make it look easy.
Lambert: Years of practice.
***