#witcher humor

[incorrect-witcher-quotes]

Geralt, introducing his circle: This is my friend Regis, he’s cunning and charming and I’m so proud of him.

Geralt: This is my daughter Ciri, she's kind and strong and I’m so proud of her.

Geralt: This is Lambert, he has rabies.

[juniper-moon]

I saw this and couldn’t help myself.

[bloededhoine]

witcher textposts!

[one], [two], [three], [four], [five], [six], [seven], [eight]

[longingandheartacheandlust]

People keep making posts talking about Roach sitting and refusing to move in order to get Geralt to do things and the thing is

Horses basically do not sit, and they're not incredibly stable so even if you're working with a 2500lb draft it's pretty much always possible to force them to budge over, but! sitting and refusing to get up is a primary llama tactic.  Whenever you piss a llama off it's either spit-in-your-face time or sit-down-and-become-one-with-the-earth time.

And the idea of a Witcher AU where everything is the same except Roach is a llama is HILARIOUS to me

Geralt is mean to Jaskier and she just sits down in the middle of the road and refuses to budge until he apologizes

A townsperson is being Witcher-racist and she spits in his eye making him roll around on the ground in stinky pain

It explains so much about how game!Roach is always ending up on top of buildings bc llamas actually have sorta claw-things not hooves and they can climb anything, including going straight up vertical fences, and also they in general have no regard for physical boundaries, if they stay in a pasture it's because they chose to, so, like, Jaskier's running from a cuckolded lord on the third story of a castle and suddenly there's this hell-beast making a sound like a furious wood chipper between him and the lord who is now running VERY MUCH THE OTHER WAY and Jaskier's just like...  I love you but how the hell did you get up here

also there is absolutely nothing better than being hugged by a llama bc they wrap their necks around you and their neck fur is so so soft and Geralt deserves that in his life

[nerddivision]

I'm adopting out a dog named Geralt to people with goats😂😂

[insomniacfics]

Its 4am and i want to learn how to play the lute so i can be a bard and seduce witchers with bread in my pants

[vamprampallion]

Here, have a meme I made today on my phone. I'm sorry.

[elisacoyote]

Eredin’s  reaction on different fanfictions ^^