#witches bracket

[monstrous-tournament]

The Witches Tournament Final! Sarah "Granny" Aching vs. Petulia Gristle!

Which witch is your favorite witch?

Sarah "Granny" Aching

Petulia Gristle

Voting ended onAug 13, 2023

My apologies that I didn't post this yesterday - my health wouldn't let me. Here it is now, the grand finale of our Witches Tournament! I know I barely need to introduce our two contestant, but just for completeness' sake, here they are:

Sarah "Granny" Aching

Sarah "Granny" Aching (née Grizzel) would never have called herself a witch. She was a shepherd; she took care of sheep, and the Chalk where they grazed, and others who lived there, including the Nac Mac Feegle. While she was alive, shepherds would seek out Granny Aching to get help for sick sheep. After her death, they sometimes used to leave packets of Jolly Sailor tobacco where her hut used to be, with a wish. The Feegles dealt with the tobacco end of the business (after allowing a decent period for her to take it if she wished). 

Petulia Gristle

Petulia is a friend of Tiffany Aching and is being tutored by "Old Mother" Blackcap. She is particularly talented with pigs and, as a result, gains the nick-name "the pig witch". Her talent also wins her a spot at the Witch Trials, where she performs the pig trick. What this trick actually is is not revealed. She is a member of the coven set up by Annagramma Hawkin. When with the coven, she has a tendency to mumble, stutter, and be extremely deferential, but when at work, she becomes self-confident and secure. This latter tendency appears to have found her a husband, the sort of stolid Lancre pig-farmer who values a woman's ability to tuck a pig under each arm, treat their ailments, and finally convert them to all the things pork is prone to becoming. Petulia is an expert at Pig-Boring, which is the most humane way of slaughtering an animal prior to sausage and bacon-hood. She simply chooses her animal, and then talks to it in a most earnest monotone voice about trivial things of parochial importance until its eyes close and it slumps to one side, having by then given up the will to live.

[monstrous-tournament]

The Witches Tournament!

Semifinals Masterpost

(minus the Big Wukwuks: Granny Weatherwax, Nanny Ogg, Magrat Garlick, Agnes Perdita Nitt, and Tiffany Aching)

The two semifinals pitch the following bad (and good!) witches against each other:

Lily "Lilith the Tempscire" Weatherwax vs. Petulia Gristle

Sarah "Granny" Aching vs. Perspicacia Tick

A reminder who all these good (and bad!) witches are is included in each post! These texts are taken from the L-Space wiki, with some editing by yours truly.

[monstrous-tournament]

Sarah "Granny" Aching vs. Perspicacia Tick

Which witch is your favorite witch?

Sarah "Granny" Aching

Perspicacia Tick

Voting ended onAug 5, 2023

Sarah "Granny" Aching

Sarah "Granny" Aching (née Grizzel) would never have called herself a witch. She was a shepherd; she took care of sheep, and the Chalk where they grazed, and others who lived there, including the Nac Mac Feegle. While she was alive, shepherds would seek out Granny Aching to get help for sick sheep. After her death, they sometimes used to leave packets of Jolly Sailor tobacco where her hut used to be, with a wish. The Feegles dealt with the tobacco end of the business (after allowing a decent period for her to take it if she wished). 

Perspicacia Tick

Miss Perspicacia Tick is a witch living in the lowlands. She earns her money by doing bits of medicine and misfortune-telling. She has also been seen as a teacher. Miss Tick does not look like an ordinary witch, because looking like a witch can be dangerous when walking among the uneducated. She does not wear magic jewellery nor carry a magic broom. However, she does wear a hat, which is a stealth hat and so only points when you press a secret switch. The hat is however normally occupied by a toad with legal tendencies. In case she does end up tied up and being thrown in a river somewhere, she has a certificate in swimming from the Quirm College for Young Ladies and a book on escapology. Her main occupation, though, is as a witch finder. She looks in the regions which are are hostile to witches for girls who have the potential to become witches. A person with the gifts of a witch but without the opportunity to develop them can be an unhappy, even dangerous, girl. 

[monstrous-tournament]

Lily "Lilith the Tempscire" Weatherwax vs. Petulia Gristle

Which witch is your favorite witch?

Lily "Lilith the Tempscire" Weatherwax

Petulia Gristle

Voting ended onAug 5, 2023

Lily "Lilith the Tempscire" Weatherwax:

Wielder of magic just as strong as that of her sister. Kicked out of the house at a young age for being proud, wilful, and wanton, she goes on to achieve greatness and power by amplifying her magic with mirrors. She thinks of herself as the Good One, the one who provides people with Happy Endings - whether they want that particular ending or not. How could that be bad?

Petulia Gristle

Petulia is a friend of Tiffany Aching and is being tutored by "Old Mother" Blackcap. She is particularly talented with pigs and, as a result, gains the nick-name "the pig witch". Her talent also wins her a spot at the Witch Trials, where she performs the pig trick. What this trick actually is is not revealed. She is a member of the coven set up by Annagramma Hawkin. When with the coven, she has a tendency to mumble, stutter, and be extremely deferential, but when at work, she becomes self-confident and secure. This latter tendency appears to have found her a husband, the sort of stolid Lancre pig-farmer who values a woman's ability to tuck a pig under each arm, treat their ailments, and finally convert them to all the things pork is prone to becoming. Petulia is an expert at Pig-Boring, which is the most humane way of slaughtering an animal prior to sausage and bacon-hood. She simply chooses her animal, and then talks to it in a most earnest monotone voice about trivial things of parochial importance until its eyes close and it slumps to one side, having by then given up the will to live.

[monstrous-tournament]

The Witches Tournament!

Round 2 Masterpost

(minus the Big Wukwuks: Granny Weatherwax, Nanny Ogg, Magrat Garlick, Agnes Perdita Nitt, and Tiffany Aching)

Round 2 pitches the following bad (and good!) witches against each other:

Lily "Lilith de Tempscire" Weatherwax vs. Geoffrey Swivel

Sarah "Granny" Aching vs. Evadne Cake

Eumenides Treason vs. Perspicacia Tick

Petulia Gristle vs. Erzulie Gogol

A reminder who all these good (and bad!) witches are is included in each post! These texts are taken from the L-Space wiki, with some editing by yours truly.

[monstrous-tournament]

Erzulie Gogol vs. Petulia Gristle

Which witch is your favorite witch?

Erzulie Gogol

Petunia Gristle

Voting ended onJul 29, 2023

Erzulie Gogol

Mrs. Gogol is a voodoo witch. She's also a great cook. She lives in the swamp just outside Genua, together with Baron Saturday. She smokes a pipe. Her cottage can move about on duck-like feet over land or water. Mrs. Gogol's Genuan style of magic, besides the entrancing cooking, includes the raising of gods and zombies. She is adept at scrying and headology. The cooking itself may be used as a means of predicting the future, by the bubbles and patterns of ingredients. Her familiar, Legba, is a black cock who can even daunt Nanny Ogg's fearsome cat, Greebo.

Petulia Gristle

Petulia is a friend of Tiffany Aching and is being tutored by "Old Mother" Blackcap. She is particularly talented with pigs and, as a result, gains the nick-name "the pig witch". Her talent also wins her a spot at the Witch Trials, where she performs the pig trick. What this trick actually is is not revealed. She is a member of the coven set up by Annagramma Hawkin. When with the coven, she has a tendency to mumble, stutter, and be extremely deferential, but when at work, she becomes self-confident and secure. This latter tendency appears to have found her a husband, the sort of stolid Lancre pig-farmer who values a woman's ability to tuck a pig under each arm, treat their ailments, and finally convert them to all the things pork is prone to becoming. Petulia is an expert at Pig-Boring, which is the most humane way of slaughtering an animal prior to sausage and bacon-hood. She simply chooses her animal, and then talks to it in a most earnest monotone voice about trivial things of parochial importance until its eyes close and it slumps to one side, having by then given up the will to live.

[monstrous-tournament]

Geoffrey Swivel vs. Lily "Lilith the Tempscire" Weatherwax

Which witch is your favorite witch?

Geoffrey Swivel

Lily "Lilith the Tempscire" Weatherwax

Voting ended onJul 29, 2023

Geoffrey Swivel

Geoffrey arrives in Lancre just in time to face a massive attack by the Elves on two fronts, and he and Mephistopheles (his eldritch goat companion and protector) acquit themselves well. He relieves Tiffany Aching of the second steading in Bad Ass which has been imposed on her, and impresses King Verence and Queen Magrat enough that they appoint him Royal Ambassador to the Sto Plains, allowing him to return home and kick a little sand in his father's face. (Mephistopheles takes the opportunity to plant a kick in the other end.) 

Lily "Lilith the Tempscire" Weatherwax:

Wielder of magic just as strong as that of her sister. Kicked out of the house at a young age for being proud, wilful, and wanton, she goes on to achieve greatness and power by amplifying her magic with mirrors. She thinks of herself as the Good One, the one who provides people with Happy Endings - whether they want that particular ending or not. How could that be bad?

[monstrous-tournament]

Evadne Cake vs. Sarah "Granny" Aching

Which witch is your favorite witch?

Evadne Cake

Sarah "Granny" Aching

Voting ended onJul 29, 2023

Evadne Cake

Mrs. Evadne Cake is a psychic medium, verging on small. She volunteers at all temples that she can find, taking over miscellaneous housekeeping duties and performing them so efficiently that soon no one else does them anymore. Unfortunately, sooner or later she invariably falls out with the priests (because she converses with the dead) and ends up leaving the temples in a mess because now nobody else knows how to do the housekeeping anymore. For this, Mrs. Cake is dreaded by all priests and priestesses across the continents, as far as the Lost Jewelled Temple of Offler, in Klatch, and maybe farther. Besides conversing with the dead, Mrs. Cake also has the ability to turn on or turn off her precognition, a very useful tool while walking the dangerous streets of Ankh-Morpork, but premonitions also make her conversation with normal people very confusing, because she tends to reply to a question right before it has been asked. Yet, if she has replied and then the person decides not to ask the question, she gets a terrible headache.

Sarah "Granny" Aching

Sarah "Granny" Aching (née Grizzel) would never have called herself a witch. She was a shepherd; she took care of sheep, and the Chalk where they grazed, and others who lived there, including the Nac Mac Feegle. While she was alive, shepherds would seek out Granny Aching to get help for sick sheep. After her death, they sometimes used to leave packets of Jolly Sailor tobacco where her hut used to be, with a wish. The Feegles dealt with the tobacco end of the business (after allowing a decent period for her to take it if she wished).