#with chan

[changbinseource]

Changbin and Bang Chan, 2019.

[chanchangsung]

IM NOT OKAY

dead

[changbinseource]

3RACHA at AAA, 2019.

[whenkwangivesyoutangerines]

mom i have a date, that's your son-in-law.

[mnyg1800com]

emo hours with chan

(I know I'm supposed to be updating I'm sorry guys, this wasn't proof read I just wrote it without really checking over it)(also double sorry if u hate bts lol this is literally all about them)(this is such a mess wpw I don't even know ah)

ok so I've stanned bts for 2????years approximately and I never really though about it too deeply until today and I'm hella emotional right now.

I discovered bts out of my family member and I was already into kpop so i liked them. ANYWAY timeskip to today lol and I'm watching bts old concert videos and I got so emotional because I realized how far they've come.

I watched the born singer performance from I think 2014 And I cried so hard because now they are accomplishing their dream when back then they could only hope they could do it. And I got so emotional afterwards because the next video that played was Yoongi's the last song and you know how it talks about his struggles with depression and social anxiety, yeah it really struck home and I started crying more, but besides that

These boys fought so hard for where they are now, and I live them so much and I don't regret ever stanning them. so many of the members fight their own battles and I can't even imagine how they feel, behind the screen and behind cameras.

i even feel bad sometimes because I feel like we pressure them to keep up this image and then behind the screen they don't know who they really are. like Hobi for example, he is always happy on screen but off screen he could be dealing with so much, but we'd never know because he thinks that we need this always happy side of him. im not saying I don't believe Hobi Is a genuinely happy person, I just feel like he has to hide away his pains from us because he has an "image" to uphold to.

i know it's hard to open up to people, especially when everyone is watching you and everyone is judging you, but I really wanna see the real bts, whatever it is, however they act I really wanna see it. I want to feel like we could help them somehow.

but all the boys are so talented and I love each every one of them so much and I just got really emo watching the born singer performance and I'm actually crying right now.

it's crazy BC I've never met them, I can't even speak their goddamn language but I really LOVE them, so much. I care for them so much, and I cry when they cry, I laugh when they laugh, and I want to help them as much as they helped me.

I know ppl call fans of kpop weebs because of how attached we are to them, but everyone has a different reason. And mine is because I just relate so much to the members, like yoongi, like sometimes I just feel so sad, but then I get lost in my own feelings and I don't know what's happening around me and I'm lost.

I was lucky enough to see these boys in concert and I cried so hard at the end, and I don't even know why myself. bit I think it's because it finally hit me, the people I admire, love, look up to, are in front of me right now. they don't who I am, but i know so much about them. theyre real and theyre human and theyre so much more to so many people. even if they don't know me ill continue to support them through everything, and I'll love them so much.

And then I feel soooo stupid because I dotn know them personally, they don't know me, and we don't even talk, but I cry over them, I smile for them, and o laugh for them and it's so cheesy but that's what it is for me and I can't help it.

I just feel such a strong connection with the boys and I just wish the best for them, really.

[hungryallaroundtheworld]

Ajinoya Okonomiyaki, Osaka, Japan