Oct 31, 2023
Now Hiring: friends with benefits*
*benefits being that you hold me while I grieve the deep, inconsolable loss of my childhood and the pervasive and perpetual loneliness left by a quarter century of neglect and abuse
#just cptsd things#actually cptsd#cptsd recovery#living with cptsd#whatever#don't read this far into the tags#ya fuckin punk#can i tell you how motherufcking hard it is to breathe when the pain steals all the air#when all you want is someone to cry to#but that is not what this time is for#i just don't want to hold this grief alone anymore#it is so heavy#and i want to cry in my friend's arms#without expectation#without a time limit#i want to silently scream into the pits of despair that well up in my soul#and i want to do it with those i love#to squeeze their hands as we make it through this part of the roller coaster again#to receive their love#to let them bear witness to my unbridled pain#to smother the loneliness with the scent of their skin#to see and be seen#to 🥺 and be 🥺#i just really want that#she thinks#who is she