Lokiâs loneliness and kindness
I have been wanting to write about this for a little while. I'm currently re-reading Where Mischief lies and I canât help but notice the way Lokiâs loneliness shaped his personality. While I consider the book to be part of its own universe there are obviously things that connect with the Loki from the mcu.
In the book Loki describes bits of his life and he lets us know that he didnât really have any friends in Asgard,âIt wasnât like he had many options for friends. Thor and his fellow warriors-in-training made it clear they didnât want anything to do with Loki, like his lack of muscle mass might be catching if they stood too closeâ.
He also says later in the book that he usually prefers his own company to that of others in Asgard, meaning that he spent his days completely and utterly alone. This is already bad enough for an adult, but imagine a young boy, spending his formative years in isolation, segregated from his world, having no community to be a part of, constantly feeling inadequate, and he had no one to call a friend, no shoulder to rely on, he had only himself. (yes, I know he had Frigga bit câmon, parents are different, theyâre supposed to be there for you)
So obviously, that shaped who he was as a person, someone bitter who hides his pain behind mischief, charm and cruel pranks, he acted out in a desperate attempt to be seen, to be wanted, to be accepted, I imagine how sad he would feel after walking past a table in some tavern to see everyone gathered around Thor, smiling, laughing, celebrating his victories and raising their cups to him.
Oh how he must have wondered if one day people would want him to join their tables, if they would want to celebrate his victories, if they would be proud of his achievements â a rare spell he managed to master, a particularly tricky potion he brew, a 100 page essay on a very specific subject that helped advance the research on some type of magic heâs interested in â all these things that mean so much to him but nothing to others, all these things he wished he could share with someone who cares.
But then, we have L1130, who actually managed to make a friend in the TVA, he who showed interest in Mobiusâ jetskis when no one else did, who encouraged him to go out in the timelines and live his dream instead of just reading about it in magazines. And he got rewarded for it, Mobius also fell in love with who Loki was, he believed in him (after some hiccups here and there but câmon), he helped him supposedly take down the organization he dedicated his life to and he got pruned for it.
But after Loki returned broken and scared Mobius was there for him, like friends are supposed to be, he took care of him, he put Lokiâs health and well being above the TVAâs mission (again!), he tended to his bruises, helped ease his worries as best as he could and became the eye of the storm that was Lokiâs life at that point.
And oh, how Loki changed after that, how soft he became, how patient and kind, mirroring Mobius himself, he easily reciprocated the kindness that was offered to him, he defended Mobiusâ honor when his friend wasnât there to do it himself, he defended B15, OB and Casey who werenât even that close to him at that point. He was always so kind to Victor too, trying his best not to scare him, to reassure him that it was okay, they werenât going to hurt him, they just needed his help.
It only took a few drops of kindness and love to melt his frozen heart and from there on he just kept giving and giving to his community, and yes, I absolutely believe that Loki saw them as such, I imagine he dreamed about the day he would finally fix the loom and they would all drink and celebrate together but that day never came đ„Č
Anyway, this is all I have for today, I love to think about Lokiâs view on friendship and community and Iâll probably write more about it later but for now Iâm pretty satisfied with what I have written, thanks for reading this far!