Do you really think there's no difference between being gay and bi/pan?
um, it depends on context, i guess. i wouldn’t argue that they’re the same word or that they don’t mean different things to to the individuals who use them, so lexically or on an individual-by-individual basis, no.
in terms of a material analysis of oppression, however, yes, that’s really what i think. i mean, first of all, what does it mean to “be gay” or “be bi”? it means to condense a vast array of experiences into a single word that you have chosen because it seems accurate. these exact experiences are different for every single person who uses one of these words, and pretty much the only thing they can be said to have in common is that they signal 1. experiences of being outside of and oppressed by heterosexuality and 2. opposition to the institution of heterosexuality. it seems obvious that there are significant gray areas and overlap even within the “traditional” definitions and uses of these words, that two people with extremely similar experiences regarding their sexuality could choose different words; for example, most people who adhere to strict definitions can still easily conceptualize of a self-identified gay person who experiences occasional attraction to a different gender, or a non-binary self-identified gay person, or a non-binary self-identified bi person who has a lot of similar experiences to the non-binary self-identified gay person, or a self-identified gay person who has dated different gender(s) in the past… i could go on indefinitely.
so given that there is a clear potential for fluidity and gray areas in terms for sexualities, but also for reifying restricted, mutually exclusive, and set definitions, the question that remains is which is the more useful avenue to pursue. from what i’ve seen, the second route is mostly used so that people can have extensive arguments about whether bi people hold institutional power over gay people or gay people hold institutional power over bi people, when in fact neither of these things are true and straight people hold institutional power over gay and bi people in generally the same ways. expanding in the direction of the first option, on the other hand, gives us increasing power to accurately describe our real-life experiences, which are generally full of gray areas and fluidity. i believe that maximum gender chaos and confusion is the best route to liberation.
