More Woosterposting
“You!” growled the diminutive aggressor, eyeing me as a graphic designer might regard a client who’s taken his work and swapped Comic Sans in for all the fonts. “So this is the degenerate manchild with designs on corrupting my innocent daughter!”
This took me squarely aback. I had not expected to cherish Sir Watkyn Bassett’s company, strictly speaking, but it had not occurred to me that the old patriarch might go aggro at the very sight of me.
“What-ho, Sir Watkyn!” I replied with a bright situation-diffusing smile. “So this is the kindly old bean who Madeline’s always praising to the high heavens!”
“Don’t what-ho me, Wooster!” Sir Watkyn snapped. “I’ve seen your videos, you know! You are a violent and lawless young man! I shudder to contemplate the irreparable fissures in the moral foundation of an individual who would award a score of 9.5 to a video game which allows the player to simulate, of all unsavory acts, stealing a policeman’s uniform!”
It would be a stretch to say that the pieces were falling into place, but there were pieces, and they were working their way clumsily down the y-axis. Madeline’s old ancestor had evidently vetted my Youtube channel, and found something that disagreed with his aged sensibilities.
“I’m sorry, Sir Watykn. Are you referring to my Grand Theft Auto review?”
“So, he admits it!” Cried Sir Watkyn of the Bassets in triumph.
“And that bit about stealing policemen’s uniforms, was that really the worst thing you saw me do in that game?”
“I had no appetite for further demonstrations of anarchy and mayhem,” he declared firmly. “I can readily imagine that this so-called game allowed you to escalate the situation to still higher levels of hooliganism, perhaps by vandalizing a police vehicle, or even shooting out the windows of a police station. What I saw made me feel sick, and I was forced to stop the video.”
...
I located Jeeves in a quiet corner of Sir Waykyn’s library, serenely editing Wikipedia on his laptop.
“It’s worse than I thought, Jeeves," I announced. "Sinister, in fact. I’ve broken bread with Sir Watkyn Bassett, and it’s come to light that he’s the boomer who reported my Youtube channel.”
“Would this be the excitable party whose censure resulted in the five-day suspension, sir?”
“The very same. I have taken damage, Jeeves. Bring me a whiskey-soda, and my new camouflage Crocs.”
