A blinding light, blistering his senses until all things, time, life, everything faded into a morass of confusion. And then, at last it stills until Lotor can see again. Yet all he saw before him was more of that golden light, yet dimmer now, calmer, serene, and most peculiar of all, welcoming. That feeling itself had been so foreign to him that he would call it alien even.
Surrounding him was a empty field, a vast expanse in all directions of nothing but the light, only him. How long had he endured that blistering light he wondered? It felt both eternal and short, as if it was seconds and centuries simultaneously. What had happened before then? He couldn’t remember, he felt as if he should have, yet nothing came to his relocation, just a faint but bitter feeling of… Betrayal.
And then suddenly Lotor cast his gaze forward, eyes wide in shock, his face contorted into vicious hatred as his body trembled. The paladins, Allura, that wretched girl. They had betrayed him, fought him, despite all he had done, all his efforts to earn their trust, to prove his intentions and yet the words of one little girl ended it all and…
And it had killed him. Lotor remembered it all then, the memories flooding his mind, his generals, his agonizing death, and the final horrible moments in the rift, alone with only his regrets. The former Emperor and prince fell to his knees, and remembered it all. Ten thousand decaphobes, ten thousand years worth of suffering, loss, betrayal, torment, torture, and all for nothing.
All the pain he had endured, all for nothing. His mind turned black, memories of his father’s words, “useless” “weak” “not strong enough”. Ten thousand years trying to prove he was wrong, that he was strong, that he wasn’t his father, and in the end… He had failed. His father, his tormentor and abuser had been proven right all along. With that thought, that terrible poisonous thought, he felt as if he had been stabbed.
His vision turned cloudy, and for perhaps the first time in millennia, perhaps the first time since he was a child, perhaps even the first time in his long, sad life, Lotor, no longer a prince, no longer a Emperor, no longer anything, cried. Tears streamed down his face, every self hating thought and toxic word he had kept at bay, ignored, overcome, all of it broke through the steel wall of his mind at last and overwhelmed him. He cried, he screamed, and he sobbed all while he pounded the ground with his fists.
Scorned at birth to an uncaring pair of monsters for parents, hated for an ancestry he never had any control over, despised for the deeds of someone else, betrayed and killed by the lies of another, every act of hatred, every insult, jeer, beating, mockery all piled in on him. He had tried to honor a mother that had never truely cared for him, make proud a father that saw his very existence as a mistake. Betrayed by friends and comrades he had taken in and given a future to. In love with a woman who utterly detested everything and anything about him, who he offered everything to and ripped his heart, soul, and very life out and tossed them to the void with spiteful glee. As before, he knew not how much time had passed, just that it felt both seconds and longer all the same. All that was, was him, alone and forlorn.
“My life is a ruin.” He said quietly to what passed for the ground, not caring if anyone or anything would hear, as if it would matter any.
“And here I thought you liked ruins, my prince.” Said an ancient, yet eternally familiar voice. One sweet, calming, and beautiful, one he thought forever beyond him and yet could never forget. Lotor brought his gaze upwards and gasped at what he saw.
“Hello again my love. It’s been too long.” She replied back, a sweet innocent smile on her sweet beautiful face. Slowly walking towards him, she went to her knees and gently brought one hand to his shoulder as the other tenderly caressed his face with that same intimacy they once shared countless ages ago.
At this loving gesture, Lotor brought his face to her chest and hugged dearly, quietly crying again. Ven’tar hugged him back.
“I’m so sorry love, I’m so sorry. I didn’t- I didn’t think he would… I didn’t know.” He confessed.
“It wasn’t your fault dear.”
“I wasn’t strong enough to save you, to protect you.”
“You were stronger than anyone else, stronger than anyone else could have been.”
“It was more than enough.”
“I tried. I tried to be better, better than him. I tried to do the right thing.”
“I saw, my prince. You did wonderfully. You did everything right.”
“More than enough. You never ever, not once my love , failed. Do not blame yourself my star, my warm sunlight. My Lotor. You did not fail, the blame is not yours.”
At this, Lotor pulled his face away slightly and gazed in Ven’tar eyes.
“Then why did this happen?” He asked. At this, Ven’tar cupped his face and looked back with a sigh and a faint sense of sorrow.
“Because my love. Sometimes life is cruel. And unfair. And sometimes it is filled with darkness and despair, misery and death. So much so that it drowns us.”
“But. Sometimes, even in the face of such darkness and cold, a little light can shine bright and warm, and when it does, it shines all the brighter. Making those sorrowful moments seem dimmer while the joyous ones feel more wonderful.”
And with those words, Ven’tar kissed her prince and brought him to his feet.
“Come now love, I think you’ve earned a bit of rest after everything. And I’d like for us to catch up.”
And in that moment, that both seemed to last for seconds and for an eternity, Lotor no longer felt quite so alone.
