#work friend

[silvanoir]

One more thing, then I'll likely be too busy for tumblr the rest of the month (might check in here or there)...

You ever aim for something, and get exactly what you want, and then DON'T KNOW HOW TO FEEL ABOUT IT?

So. As I've posted about before, been trying to help out Work Friend any way I can. Because he's had a rough go of it all his life and if he's ever gonna get better and get it together, he needs someone on his side (and he deserves a better life than he's had, because he does have a good heart). His guardian angel, if he ever had one, fell down on the job, or quit a long time ago (not something I believe in, personally, talking more metaphorically in my case).

And I even signed the card, that I gave money to him in, to help with bills he was behind on, months ago, with "from your Fairy Godmother Co-worker"

So why did it feel really.... I don't even know how to describe it.... slightly off-putting? When pointing out the coffee thermos he brought in today, he said: "I used to keep hooch in there, to get me through. [hooch= old-timey slang for cheap alcohol]. Now all I have is my faith in the good Lord, Charlene, and Saint Micheal"

Meant as a compliment of the highest order I'm sure.... but didn't sit quite right with me. Not sacrilegious because he's the religious one, not me. I'm not a part of any organized religion, though I have my belief and faith and certain things ...good, evil, being as good as one can, souls, and afterlife, something more than this mortal life... nothing clearly defined though.

And I keep an audio diary, on my phone, and in one entry I said "guardian angelling ain't easy". So I'm sort of in the position I wanted to be yetttt....

It's being put on a pedestal, isn't it?

I am just a person, a person who really does want to be kind and wants to help, but a person. Being made part of some new holy trinity is... hmmm....

hmmm.

[mollywog]

Ode to a work friend

Years ago I started a job within a week of another girl from my department. Due to an expanding team and limited space, we spent the first several months confined in a cramped ‘workroom’ with 2 other Jabronis coworkers. Over the past decade, we’ve celebrated, consoled, and drank a lot of beer.

I don’t know what the next decade will bring, but I know regardless of our employment we’ll be lifelong friends

[shivezz7]

A visitor at work (prison)

[intp-adventures]

Wow. I actually made a friend at work.

Guess what their type is?

Yeah: an INFP.

[easykorean]

Easy to Learn Korean 1586 – Best friend (BFF).

[silvanoir]

Looking at Owls (and other animals), Oct 5 2023

Or "Yes, adults can go on field trips too, as a treat"

Photos:

And finally, the most LITERAL "Looking at Owls" picture I could take to prove that I took him to look at owls:

[silvanoir]

Got a case of insomnia, its 2am on a Sunday... don't think many other people are up right now so.... more "blorbo from my work" even though my audience (I don't have a tumblr for an audience though, I have it to shout into the void) is uninterested...

I found music from one of his old bands on youtube. He wrote most of the songs on that album. Not linking it though. From the early 2000s, which was when he (and a lot of guys) were being offensive on purpose, the real "edgy" era. 2 of the 4 guys in that band are dead now.

I don't have a youtube account or... is it google that own youtube now? ... to comment. But I almost want to make an account just so I can comment. To counter the image. To counter the other commenters who only know how f'd up the band and its members were and how f'd up the lyrics were

He's alive, I want to tell them. He's alive and my friend. He's alive and not like this anymore.... he never really was... just mad at the world for how he was treated, from the things he'd been through and things he saw.... in a way it was all a cry for help because he felt like no one cared about him for most of his life so he might as well be mean back, like a wounded cornered animal... he's alive and keeps telling me I'm "too kind" because he didn't have much kindess in his life, why couldn't any of you have been kind? ... he's alive and we went to a lighthouse for the view and a while later he gave me a little lighthouse knicknack to remember it by... he's alive and we give eachother books, sometimes lending, othertimes to keep, he loves the library, we went to a library booksale together... He's alive and he's so good, you have no idea how good he can be, how soft his voice can be when he's neither in pain nor putting on a goofy act.... and how much I cherish those moments, when its just him and me talking, in hushed tones...

He's alive but teetering on the edge... because he's in so much pain, so often... physical pain, emotional pain, so many bad memories... he's alive but often hints at not wanting to be, almost looking forward to being dead, hoping that when he gets to the end of it, he'll get a do-over, a better chance where he won't make the same mistakes and will be around better people.... I keep trying to convince him he can still have things to look forward to, to give him things to look forward to, fun "field trips" and little gifts

He's alive and I'm doing everything I can to keep him alive, afraid that one day I'll go into work and he won't be.... won't be there and won't be alive...

And yet he'll be the one to ask me every week if I'M the one who will be there on Monday, afraid that I'm the one who will die...