#working shifts

[paintedlies]

sorry i’ve been mia again, life is just absolutely wild these days. went to the beach and got a tan for the first time this year, even though i live right next to the sea. Seriously, it’s a ten minute walk to the beach. spent some quality time with my friends, been at work, but most of all, I GOT A NEW JOB. ahsjdkf in ten days imma be a bank consultant and it’s so weird, but exciting and scary and just aghsjdk i am unable to contain myself with this mix of energy ahsjd

[realisationanddoubt]

But how are you REALLY feeling?

So, time has passed and I finally have internet in my new place. I never really saw myself as the kind of person who was entirely reliant on internet access but when your entire being is revolving around being able to vent into the void in the form of shitty, long form internet posts, life gets a little harder. I only found (Or refound. Or rather was pushed in this direction by Anna’s subtle reminder of “Hey, you used to like doing this”) using the internet to place all my thoughts recently and not having that for a couple of days made me feel profoundly lost. To the point where I’ve opened this post about 4 times through out the day and just stared at a blank page. Apparently it’s that easy for me to lose connection with something that’s almost a necessity to me. That’s kind of scary.

It’s passed midnight at the moment and here I am wide awake and blogging. It’d be an understatement to say I have a bad sleep schedule but there it sits in the tags. I work shifts a lot. I flit between nights and days which makes sleeping a kind of foe that I’m constantly having to schedule battles with. People who work real jobs, as in jobs with a schedule, must have such a different life than me. The idea of having a bed time seems strange. I kind of just sleep when I can. I got home at 8am, slept until 4pm. Woke up to let the internet people in, did mostly nothing but stare and then went back to bed about 7pm. Here I am past midnight finally actually feeling awake and wouldn’t you know it, I have to be getting ready for work in about 5 hours. So I’m thinking about when exactly I need to sleep so I can be productive tomorrow.

Being in a new home is strange. I don’t know if I’ve touched on this here or not, it all kind of blurs together but there’s a strange feeling of “I don’t deserve this.” Let me be clear, my new house is nice. The kind of place I can bring my Nan and she says “Oh wow this is lovely!” with an actual smile on her face instead of the kind of resigned forced optimism she showed when she saw my last place. There’s a part of me that is really struggling to accept that. Should that be a thing? I’ve lived most of my life in places of squalor, not including the house I grew up in or that brief year and a half (Ish) where I lived in a really nice apartment (Also had a really thorough mental breakdown there so it’s a little tough to think of it as a good time in my life.) 

I wish I could say that was the problem. Last time I lived in such a nice place I was really struggling mentally so there! I just have bad associations with nice living environments! But I don’t think that’s it. I haven’t even really had time to adjust to this place. I keep having little moments of “Wow, this is my home and it looks kind of pretty!” but it’s a little disjointed. All the time I’ve spent here I’ve either been moving in, sleeping, waiting for a night shift or post night shift. (If you’ve never worked a night shift before let me tell you, there’s a weariness to it that generally everyone I speak to agrees that the day after is just a write off day. You are not getting anything done on the day after a night shift. You’re just sleeping and then being awake for a couple of hours wishing you were sleeping before trotting off to bed to get some much needed sleep.)

I mentioned something to Anna that I should probably get off my chest here. Just for clarities sake, (Again, I’m basically the only person who will ever read this, do I really need clarity) Anna is the friend I go to when I’m having either mental health problems or need to just kind of ramble about something but I don’t have access to this blog. I’m a creature of habit. Not like in the way where I’ll go to the same place to get coffee (But yes definitely that) but also in the way that I find myself needing to go through the same motions every day in familiar situations. I don’t even think this is abnormal. I think it’s just weird to think about. Every day I go to work I’ll write up the exact same list of everything I need to do that day and times they need to be done just to make sure I don’t forget. There’s twelve items on the list for nights and days respectively, slightly changing based on which. in days you have 5 personal care, 5 documentation, 2 extra. Nights are 3 personal care, 7 documentation and 2 extra. If you’re thinking what the extra could possibly be, they could actually fall into either of the other two categories but I came up with them at a later date than the original list of 10 so they have to be in their own special space. That’s just the only way I can remember it.

Now I’ve been doing this job for 6 years and before that I was training to do the job for a further 3. That’s almost a decade of experience in the NHS yet here I am with my list. I could and probably would be able to do my job without the list. But it’s a mental latch if you will. It’s something I need to be present because if it isn’t the trap door of anxiety and panic will just fall open and I won’t be able to operate. The only other mental latch I can think of is my amulet. It’s a good luck charm of sorts and without getting bogged down in the detail, I found it buried about 20 years ago, have worn it ever since and got the symbols of it tattoo’d on me as a fail safe, just in case there’s a reason I can’t be wearing it one day. Never really put much thought into this but it is a weird realisation to think I see these symbols from the amulet as some kind of divine protection. They tie me to my luck and I’m VERY serious about luck. I’m letting myself get derailed. I said I wouldn’t do that.

Mental latches. The things I need to do to keep the anxiety and panic trap doors firmly shuttered. Do other people need such routines to stop themselves from falling into a panic spiral? I’ve only ever thought I’ve lost my amulet a handul of times and I can’t even describe the sheer panic and fear that enveloped me during those moments. 

So the reason I mention all this (Let’s get back to the damn point Josh.) is that I’m a creature of habit. So moving has been very difficult. It has stressed me more than I can say and not for any particular reason. For instance my current worry is that I don’t know where to get the right cat food and litter. That’s it. But I can’t stop thinking about it. It will be forever in the back of my mind, eating at me until I find an appropriate alterntative. 

I’ve already got my timings for the day sorted out. Work days at least. I need to leave at 6:10 am or pm to make it to my shift. There’s about a ten minute grace period to this where if I can still make work if I set off late but I can’t rely on that. I don’t know why. I could just set off at 6:20 and still make work but that isn’t an option. I think the trouble is I know that if I set my time for 6:20, there will be days where I won’t set off until 6:30 and I can’t bare the idea of that. Because it will become a pattern and then I’ll always be late. I had a lot more to add on to that but I think it’s all just catastrophising so let’s not.

Alright this is already too long so let’s leave off here and start a new blog post after a smoke or two. Yep, I’m still smoking. More on that in a second. Why is it so important to me to make these thought posts digestible and not too long? I suppose it’s a courtesy to future me’s attention span.

[syusukerambles]

Sleeeeeep

I have trouble sleeping at the best of times... But man, summer heat and inconsiderate neighbours.. I will start nightshift in half an hour and I've been up for 36 hours already. I managed a 30mins nap... Wish me luck..

[theyouthtimes]

Working Stiffs: China's Tech Minions Burn Out in '996' Rat Race

Shanghai software engineer Wu Linfeng watched the silent comedy "Modern Times" recently and soon found himself crying watching Charlie Chaplin’s classic stressed-out assembly-line worker was like watching himself. Overworked, underpaid, and feeling like a hamster on a wheel, he...

[aeronappreciatestylejn]

The Plus Points Of Rostering Software

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- Call-center: The customer service section is schedules and optimized. - Splay: The planning relating to shifts for staffs at call center, stores, warehouses, etc. - Transport: The drivers are it being provided with a proper setup speaking of time degeneration. - Tourism & leisure: Optimizing the template for staff scheduling and allocating timely tasks with shifts.<\p>

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- Accessibility: You, along with your working staff, outhouse access the rostering software easily over against run to earth the in essential facts about the schedules and glabrous get a cartilaginous copy print of it to carry inner man by. The administrators can motoring the scheduling even from their homes with the use of internet. - Immediacy: If any pertinent to the employees are affected by any jibe in the calendar, the rostering software pdq gets them informed herewith means anent e-mail saltire SMS. The changes and the people affected by it are even highlighted immediately online. - Interactivity: This feature of the rostering software makes it one of the favorite tools at the employees of various companies who use it. The staff can interact on the message board provided and deplume ask for holidays, fake their preferences and details, etc. - Versatility: This software has the features to provide its service versus straying types of workplace. It can even abide built by customizing he according en route to what the client requires out of it. I myself has the dead excellent utility tools and processes to offer to its customers. The goods makes life easier for the boss and the employees too.<\p>

[foliage-spring-xi]

The Plus Points Of Rostering Software

The business sectors enforce been ever-growing seeing as how the last picayunish years and the take to they are intensifying, they commit state-of-the-art technologies endlong partnered with other expensive equipment which have what it takes into put through the unity working environments. Talented professionals working inpouring such tedious environments, require help so as to manage each and every aspect speaking of business. Rostering software is one such user-friendly tool that is designed to affair the working shifts in a mimicking enclosure in a profitable and organized pattern. Deft in relation to these software's require internet connection while the others can persist utilized without one.<\p>

Rostering software needs on route to be very powerful as it has to compass gracious operations and details relative to the personnel on the run in lieu of the organization. Roster or rotas procedure are created at the strategic level. Following are a few common applications relating to the roster system of planning:<\p>

- Call-center: The customer service section is schedules and optimized. - Retail: The planning in reference to shifts for staffs at chirk center, stores, warehouses, etc. - Transport: The drivers are with the stipulation with a proper foil relative to time shift. - Transit & leisure: Optimizing the template from reinforce scheduling and allocating timely tasks with shifts.<\p>

Now, let us discuss within call the bilingual text shapes of rostering software which makes it so outstanding and in demand these days. The administration are as follows:<\p>

- Accessibility: You, along mid your working parish council, can access the rostering software surely to get the immediate evocation all round the schedules and apathetic get a hard copy print of ethical self to carry other self too. The administrators can manage the scheduling mutual from their homes thanks to the presume upon anent internet. - Immediacy: If any of the employees are affected by any change herein the census report, the rostering software immediately gets them cultured suitable for means of e-mail or SMS. The changes and the people affected by my humble self are even highlighted immediately online. - Interactivity: This quirk of the rostering software makes it living soul of the favorite tools in the employees in point of various companies who trust ourselves. The staff deplume interact on the message board provided and can ask in preference to holidays, modify their preferences and details, etc. - Versatility: This software has the features headed for provide its service towards different types of workplace. Alterum can even be built by customizing it according to what the client requires out of it. Them has the most excellent motor tools and processes to offer to its customers. It makes bubbliness easier against the boss and the employees too.<\p>

[hintofvanilla]

I need my sights on a fixed point in the future when I won't have to work full time shift work anymore. Even if it's a year away I need something to focus on. Can't do this anymore, I feel completely beaten. I've aged five years since turning 31. Not cool! :(