Whumpee never wants to be weak again, so they push themself further and further on the training grounds. Seeking out opponents with a reputation for going all out, then for going too far. Goading their sparring partners into attacking them for real. Secretly conjuring up magical constructs who won't hesitate to draw live steel. Training until their callouses tear open, until their muscles scream, until they throw up (and wipe their mouth and get back to it), until they pass out in the dust.
And it doesn't work. They flinch at the sound of a sword unsheathing. They get sloppy and irrational. They get weak.
It's frustrating. They're furious at themself for it, and all they can do is try harder. They just want to improve! They have to get better! Why are they just getting worse?
✦ ݁ ˖ synopsis ˖ ݁ ✦
remember when you were eleven and he was thirteen and the rain made everything feel like forever? you fell first, quietly, the way kids do. he fell later, harder, when you were eighteen and the world had already started pulling you in different directions. he never said it. he just kept showing up, kept teasing, kept stealing your hoodies like they could keep you close even when you were oceans apart. now the rain is still falling in seoul, 2026. you live together because life got too heavy to carry alone. he still looks at you like you’re the same girl who made his trainee nights bearable. you still pretend his glances don’t make your chest tight. but every time he drapes an arm over the couch back, every time he hums “these arms were made for holding you,” the years between eleven and twenty-four collapse. you’re not kids anymore. and the love that started so young is finally old enough to speak, old enough to hurt, old enough to heal.
✦ ݁ ˖ author note ˖ ݁ ✦
hi angels ♡ i was cleaning my playlists and suddenly 18 came on and it just… did something to my brain. like that very specific feeling of growing up with someone and realizing way too late that you never actually grew out of them. this is the story i’ve been selfishly writing for myself. there’s no third-act breakup, no dramatic scandal that tears them apart. just two people who love each other so much they’re terrified of saying it out loud, until the silence starts to hurt more than the risk.
also. small confession. change my mind has been sitting in my head and now i’m spiraling a little, because that song is dangerous in the “late night, staring at the ceiling, maybe i should write another fic” way. so if i disappear for a bit… that’s why. i’m debating who deserves a change my mind era. txt? bts? enhypen?
✦ ݁ ˖ masterlist ˖ ݁ ✦
a long way from the playground
choi yeonjun × fem!reader
chapters
prologue ✧ now reading
✧ ch.1 — the morning after he moved In
✧ch.2 — bathroom territory wars
✧ch.3 — eighteen felt like falling
✧ch.4 — unboxed promises
✧ch.5 — what are we?
✧ch.6 — hopeless in love (smut)
✧ final — these arms were made for holding you (the end)
extras (to be added)
✦ yeonjun’s pov
✦ soft domestic drabbles
✦ epilogue — a quiet forever
✦ status: ongoing
✦ updates: irregular, written with feelings
✦ +18 / mdni
✦ ݁ ˖ spotify playlist ˖ ݁ ✦
• i love you so – the walters
• 18 – one direction | play on repeat
• moon song – phoebe bridgers
• cherry wine (live) – hozier
✦ ݁ ˖ prologue ˖ ݁ ✦
The apartment wrapped itself in evening stillness at 6:47 p.m., the faint whir of the air conditioning mingling with the muffled sounds of traffic drifting up from the street below. You positioned yourself in the kitchen, your bare feet planted firmly on the chilled tile floor as you stirred the black tea leaves in your favorite mug, the spoon clinking rhythmically against the ceramic sides with each careful turn. The small chip on the rim caught under your thumb repeatedly, a familiar roughness that tugged your thoughts back to that night when laughter had erupted from you in uncontrollable waves at one of his old trainee anecdotes, causing the mug to slip from your fingers and crack against the counter. Steam rose in slow, twisting spirals that danced in the air, filling the space with a sharp, grounding aroma that eased the tightness in your shoulders as you inhaled deeply, your eyelids fluttering closed for a brief moment while your mind wandered through the day's remnants despite your attempts to anchor it in the present.
You had been anticipating his return without fully acknowledging the sensation to yourself, your body leaning subtly toward the door as if pulled by an invisible force that you refused to name. The couch remained empty in the living room, save for the blanket he often claimed as his own, which you had folded with careful precision on the armrest earlier, your fingers lingering to smooth out the creases one last time. Your phone vibrated on the counter, the screen illuminating with a gentle glow that cast fleeting shadows across the granite surface as you reached for it with a slow, deliberate motion, your heart already anticipating the name that would appear.
Your phone vibrated on the counter, the screen illuminating with a gentle glow that cast fleeting shadows across the granite surface as you reached for it with a slow, deliberate motion, your heart already anticipating the name that would appear.
You picked it up carefully, your fingers curling around the cool edges while you read the message twice, your breath catching in a subtle hitch before you steadied it with a deliberate exhale through your nose. Yeonjun's name sat at the top of the screen in bold letters, followed by his words displayed in a simple white bubble against the dark background, the little typing indicator already pulsing beside his profile picture a blurry selca from months ago, his tongue sticking out, eyes crinkled in that signature dramatic mischief.
yeonjun 19:14
stuck in traffic bc of the rain 😩🌧️
manager hyung is losing his mind over formation again fr
save me a corner of the couch i’m literally dead rn ㅠㅠ
A quiet exhale escaped you, lips curving into a small smile as you tapped the screen, thumb pausing, typing and deleting twice before committing, deliberate presses echoing softly in the still kitchen. You could picture him perfectly slumped in the back seat, hood pulled over his head, one AirPod in, lips slightly pouted against the window as the manager ranted beside him.
you 19:16
couch is claimed. sorry, not sorry.
blanket too.
you’ll have to fight me for it, and you know i fight dirty 💅
The three dots appeared almost immediately, pulsing in the chat window as you watched them, your heart giving that familiar, unwelcome stutter which you dismissed internally as the result of too much caffeine or the lingering fatigue from your shift. The dots disappeared once, then reappeared, lingering longer this time before his reply came through in quick succession, his messages stacking up the way they always did when he was bored and dramatic.
yeonjun 19:18
cruel woman.
i like it a little too much 😏
be home in 20. don’t move or i’ll cry real tears.
also bring snacks. i’m starving pls.
i love u for this 🥺❤️
You read the last line twice, breath catching sharply. He always threw “love u” around casually, but tonight it landed like a stone in your chest, heavy, reverberating. You set the phone down carefully, letting the screen fade to black, wrapping both hands around the mug, lukewarm now but comforting.
On soft steps across the hardwood, you carried it to the living room, sliding into the far corner of the couch. Pulling the blanket over your legs released a faint trace of his cologne, a memory of him that always made your chest ease. Your fingers twisted the gold ring on your right hand, an heirloom warming against your skin as you rubbed it absentmindedly, mind drifting through memories that surfaced unbidden.
Eleven years old, the playground behind the old apartment drenched in rain that fell in sheets, pounding the ground like tiny drums. Everyone had scattered, shouts and splashes filling the air, but he had stayed. Yeonjun at thirteen, lanky arms awkwardly lifting a red umbrella over your head while his own shirt and hair soaked, water running in rivulets down his shoulders. He grinned down at you, lips curved in a way that tried to be stern but failed, eyes sparkling with the chaos of the storm around him, and said with mock solemnity, “you’re gonna melt if you get wet.”
Your small hands clutched the edge of his sleeve, fingers cold and trembling slightly, cheeks flushed from the rain and the weird warmth in your chest that made your stomach twist. You wanted to tell him how everything felt smaller with him there, how the storm seemed less frightening, but the words knotted inside you. Instead, you nudged his arm with a shy smile, tiny teeth catching your lip, as though the vulnerability could be played off with a small, playful gesture.
He never said the words, but he walked you home anyway, his long strides matching yours despite puddles soaking his sneakers. Weeks later, as you waved from the car window back to the UK, the same ache twisted in your chest. His trainee days came next, sporadic messages arriving in the quiet of the night, exhaustion masked behind teasing emojis. Then eighteen came, and he was twenty-one, eyes shadowed but warm as ever when you met in a café near the company building. His hug was too long, firm, anchoring you both to the moment, and his whisper against your ear, “don’t disappear again,” made the pull in your chest twist tighter.
Now at twenty-four, with him at twenty-six, you share this space as if it were the natural progression of those unspoken moments, your daily routines intertwining in ways that feel both comforting and charged. The arrangement stemmed from sasaeng intrusions that rattled his dorm life, his late-night calls laced with frustration until you proposed the spare room in your apartment as a refuge, your voice steady on the line as you listened to his weary sighs. Your own exhaustion from shifts compounded it, leaving you reluctant to face empty evenings alone, your thoughts replaying patient sessions as you stared at solitary meals on the table. Practicality became the excuse you both clung to, simpler than confessing how his presence quiets the noise in your head or how knowing he’s nearby lets you exhale fully for the first time in days, your shoulders relaxing at the sound of his key in the lock.
The front door unlocks at 19:41, the sound echoing through the hallway with a soft click that makes your pulse quicken slightly as you straighten your posture on the couch. He enters without his usual flair, no exaggerated sigh or scattered shoes marking his arrival, only the gentle drop of his bag on the floor and the rustle of his damp jacket as he hangs it on the hook, water droplets pattering lightly onto the mat below like a faint echo. His footsteps pad toward the living room, measured and unhurried, his socks muffling the noise on the hardwood as he approaches with a subtle shift in the air.
He appears in the doorway, hoodie zipped halfway up his chest to ward off the chill, hair clinging to his forehead from the moisture outside that glistens under the room's light, his eyes seeking yours with immediate focus as he crosses the threshold into the space.
“hey,” he said, low, stripped of his public energy. shoulders slumped, he padded toward the couch.
“you’re soaked,” your words carrying a blend of care and light teasing as you shift the blanket to make space beside you on the cushion.
“rain’s a bitch,” he replies with a faint grimace that tugs at the corner of his mouth, lowering himself onto the couch next to you with a soft sigh, his body heat radiating through the fabric as his knee nudges yours under the blanket, the contact brief but deliberate in its linger as he adjusts his position.
You hold your position without shifting, your leg remaining pressed against his as the blanket settles over you both with a gentle rustle, and he registers the choice with a subtle glance that lingers on the point of contact before lifting back to your face, but he refrains from remarking on it aloud.
He extends his hand instead, grasping the edge of the blanket from your lap and drawing it across you both with a slow pull, his cold fingers grazing your thigh for a fleeting half-second in what seems like an unintentional brush that sends a faint warmth through your skin.
“cold?” you asked softly as you watch his fingers retreat from the fabric, noting the way they flex slightly against the material before resting.
“nah,” he murmured, reclining against the cushion with a deep exhale, his head tilting back and eyes drifting half-closed as he lets the tension ease from his frame bit by bit. “just… wanted in on the vibe.”, his tone carrying a hint of warmth beneath the fatigue as he stretches his legs out further, his body relaxing into the shared space with a subtle lean toward you.
The silence envelops you both once more, comfortable yet charged with unspoken layers that hang in the air, your breaths syncing gradually as the city's distant hum filters through the walls like a quiet underscore.
He shifts his head toward you after a moment, his eyes opening to meet yours in a lingering gaze that catches you mid-thought, his expression softening with curiosity as he holds the connection.
he turned to you, eyes soft, curious. “what,” he murmurs softly, his voice barely above a whisper that carries across the short distance between you, his lips barely moving as he waits for your response.
You swallow the sudden dryness in your throat before replying nothing, your words quick but your mind racing with the weight of his proximity and the way his presence fills the room.
His lips part in a small curve, the smile tired yet genuinely fond as it reaches his eyes, and he holds your gaze a moment longer before speaking again.
“liar,” he counters gently, his tone playful without any real pressure behind it, his hand resting idle on the blanket as he drums his fingers lightly on the fabric while waiting, but he refrains from probing further and allows the quiet to return with a soft sigh.
He extends his arm toward the table after a beat, his body leaning forward slightly as he grasps your mug, lifting it to his lips for a sip despite his known distaste for black tea, his nose wrinkling at the first taste as he savors it briefly.
“still gross,” he mutters under his breath after swallowing, setting the mug back with a soft clink on the table, his face scrunching in exaggerated dislike as he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand in a casual swipe.
“then don’t drink it,” your voice laced with sarcasm as you watch his reaction closely, your own lips twitching in amusement at his expression.
“too late,” he responds with a shrug of his shoulders, his eyes meeting yours again as he leans back once more into the cushions. “it’s mine now.” his tone carrying that familiar dramatic flair as he stretches his arm along the back of the couch.
You roll your eyes in response, the gesture habitual yet affectionate as it draws a quiet chuckle from him, but you make no move to reclaim the mug, your body remaining nestled under the shared blanket with a relaxed sigh.
He places the mug down carefully on the table, his movements deliberate and unhurried as he allows his arm to drape along the back of the couch, his fingers brushing the ends of your hair in a light, almost absent touch that sends a subtle warmth through you from the contact.
Neither of you shifts position after that, your breaths deepening in the shared stillness as the evening unfolds around you with gradual ease.
For the first time in years, you permit your thoughts to explore what might unfold if you ceased pretending that the umbrella from your childhood had ever been solely about shelter from the rain, your mind lingering on the possibility as your fingers trace the edge of the blanket absentmindedly.
hey angels ♡ if you want to be added to the tag list and get notified when i post updates, reblogs, or new chapters, just: reblog/comment your url ♡
Battered and Bruised, but it’s still you - Ninjago Oneshot
WC: ~4228
When Lloyd had finally gotten a proper look at his friend, his mentor, his older brother, a pit sank in his chest. He eyed Kai, and how in the weeks which had gone by, it was hardly Kai at all. The older male was thinner, significantly so. His face was sunken, dark eyebags and soot decorated his skin, and a fresh scar was apparent on his cheek. Faint, but noticeable. Most prominently, Kai was exhausted.
Kai also had to grow up quickly, too quickly; with his parents gone at a young age, forced to handle the blacksmith and care for his sister, and then care for Lloyd as a protector, it was all too quick. Kai deserved to be the youngest once in a while, especially in his current condition. At least, just this once.
Or
When Kai finally arrives back at the monastery after the Merge, injured and exhausted, Lloyd does his best to take care of him. After all, time has changed them both.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/65539879
As Lloyd saw an unfamiliar figure move throughout the bounty, his bounty, he felt no hesitation as his fists lit up with energy and he jumped towards the stranger.
The only thing which stopped him was the familiar scream from… Kai? Lloyd immediately paused his attack, stumbling on his own feet as the figure took off the mask.
“What the heck, Lloyd?” Kai shouted.
“Kai?” Lloyd stood in disbelief; the sight of Kai sprawled across the deck of the bounty from the mistaken attack enough to send shivers down his spine. Yet, the relief was even more fulfilling, his heart filled with joy after the initial moments of shock. “Kai! Sorry. I haven’t seen anyone in weeks,” the green ninja extended his hand out, the other seemed to take it rather quickly for someone as hot-headed as how Lloyd seemed to remember him.
“I can imagine,” Kai’s weight felt sunken and weighted as Lloyd heaved him off the ground. Yet before Lloyd could even attempt to let the feelings fester in his throat, to convert his worries into words of concern, Kai quickly wrapped his arms around the younger male and swung him around. “It’s so good to see you, buddy."
“You too!”
As the two separated, Kai took a step back, his gaze appeared distant. “Kai? Where have you been?”
The fire ninja’s face paled. “Er— A lot of places, I’m not too sure. Is this where you woke up? That’s lucky.”
“I guess so,” Lloyd shrugged his shoulders, his gaze lifted to the haunting red sky. He eyed his former mentor, his older brother (if anything), his teammate, and how in the weeks which had gone by, it was hardly Kai at all.
The older male was thinner, significantly so. His face was sunken, dark eyebags and soot decorated his skin, and a fresh scar was apparent on his cheek. Faint, but noticeable.
“Is the monastery nearby? I… it’d be nice to get home,” Kai muttered as he straightened himself up.
“Oh, right! Of course, It’s right here, the bounty just… showed up here, no idea how that happened, but it brought you,” Lloyd grinned with excitement as he grabbed Kai’s hand. “We should get going before a mergequake starts, though.”
Kai’s face lit up at the mention of the monastery before completely faltering at the other mention. “What? Merge what?”
“Mergequakes. It’s like a rift in reality. They aren’t too bad right now, but they are getting worse.”
“You have got to be kidding me.” Kai sighed as his posture sagged, his voice went quiet and quivered. “Can we just get back? Please?”
Lloyd did not want to mention the desperation in his voice. “Yeah, let’s get you back into the monastery. Respectfully, I think you should sit down.”
“Don’t need to tell me twice.”
As Lloyd stepped onto solid ground with a gentle jump from the anchor of the bounty, he felt his heart sink when he noticed Kai dragging his feet behind him. The two of them sat on the steps, the other much heavier than Lloyd. Lloyd wanted to talk, to check-in; it had been weeks since he had talked to anyone, and Kai (even though he was trying not to let on) looked halfway near kneeling over.
A rift had opened in the sky.
“Lloyd, what the heck is that?” Kai got up with a start, taking a defensive stance, as Lloyd did the same.
“One of the mergequakes. We got to go! Elemental powers close them!” Lloyd brushed the dust off himself and started running towards the exit of the monastery.
“And how did you figure all this out!?” Kai shook his head. “Lloyd!?”
“No time to waste, the longer we wait, the worse it’ll get till it starts sucking our world inside out! I’m getting the mech, you stay and blast it from here!”
~
In the mech, Lloyd felt the rush of the heat from the fire and the energy ceased as the rift shut, the machinery backing away just as he was used to it. “Phew, good thing you were here. We got that one quick,” Lloyd turned the mech around, aiming to have it start flying down but his hand stopped as he reached for the control when he caught sight of his comrade. “Kai?”
Kai has his back towards Lloyd, and although it is hard for the green ninja to make out the facial features, he can clearly see him half kneeled over, dizzy and heaving. “Kai? Kai!” Lloyd quickly landed the mech on the ground of the monastery, rushing over. “Are you alright?”
“Yeah… yeah— it’s no worries, don’t—” Kai winced when Lloyd placed his hand on his shoulder, the blond quickly drew back at the response (he was unsure whether it was rooted in fear, injury, or a mixture of both). “It’s just been a long journey back. Can we head inside?”
“You look tired.”
“Lloyd, I’m—”
“We’re not teenagers anymore, Kai.” Lloyd frowned, his vision traveled from Kai’s face to scan the rest of his condition, the pure exhaustion evident throughout his body and the tan wraps poking out from under his gi… wait a minute. Are those bandages? “You look tired, Kai.”
Kai straightened his back, slowly but surely, and it was at that moment when the façade truly came undone. The posture he had been so desperately trying to keep as swift and sound faltered into a slouch, and even the ash in his ruffled hair seemed to become more prominent. “Well… I am tired. I wasn’t doing much sleeping where I landed after the merge… or anything of the sorts."
“Come on, I’ll help you get all cleaned up.”
“Er— it’s okay, Lloyd. I can do it myself—”
“I can see the bandages under your gi. If those aren’t infected already, I’ll clean them up properly.” Lloyd crossed his arms, his face went gentle and soft. “Just let me help? Please?”
With the mask fully undone, Kai’s walking appeared staggered, and each step was more haphazard than the last. Heavy steps from behind Lloyd quickly shifted to Kai leaning against Lloyd with almost his entire weight, the younger male brought his arm and swung it under his armpits to assist with the weight as best as he could. “Woah, I got you. Come on, inside, off we go.”
This was the first time in weeks that someone other than Lloyd had been in the monastery. It was odd… but nice.
“Yeah… I mean this in the kindest way possible, but you look wrecked,” Lloyd tried to lighten the mood as the pair made it into their living room, the monastery started to feel more like home once more as Kai practically collapsed into the couch.
“A little harsh, Lloyd,” Kai cracked a smile.
“Yeah, let me get you some tea. Then we can address… that—”
Kai raised an eyebrow. Lloyd pointed at his own chest, poking where the visible bandages appeared on Kai’s torso. The fire ninja nodded and turned away.
“I’ll be right back, okay? Don’t move,” Lloyd mentioned as he headed into the kitchen, quick to put the water to boil. The water never seemed to boil quickly enough as he sat in the kitchen, a brief pause taking place as he grabbed the tea leaves leftover from before the merge and tossed them into the kettle, cautious not to burn it.
He was still getting used to making tea on his own. He now had to get used to making tea for someone else, and for Kai of all people! Not bad, by any means, just never expected. Kai hardly got sick, always the least battered after battles, and well—
They were younger back then; they all have gotten older over the years.
When the tea finished and was successfully unburnt, Lloyd poured the tea into a small mug he had sculpted and glazed in his earlier years (it was miraculous even to him how the object survived the merge) for he knew Kai had taken a liking to it, at least back then.
“Kai?” Lloyd poked his head into the living room and quietly tiptoed his way deeper into the room. He set the mug on the coffee table and his face shifted into a frown full of concern, Kai asleep on the couch.
This was not a normal sleeping position for anyone by any means, and that was what caused the concern. Kai was not laying down with his head against the arm rest, nor was his head leaning back against the cushions of the couch. Kai sat almost straight, the only sag of comfort present in his posture was his head slightly tilted downward. “Kai?” Lloyd murmured as he cautiously lifted his hand to start reaching out towards him. He had to check for a fever, that would be the quickest sign of an infected injury and if he needed actual medical attention or—
Before Lloyd could set a hand on him, Kai shouted himself awake. It was all within a moment, Kai sat up fully with wide eyes, his right hand lifted up with a weak flame already flickering through exhaustion as he scanned the room while catching his breath.
“Hey, we’re in the monastery. It’s just me, sorry I had to wake you,” Lloyd apologized as he reached for Kai’s wrist, the small flame quickly going out before it truly got its spark, Lloyd set Kai’s hand on his legs.
“Sorry, Lloyd. I don’t know what came over me,” Kai stretched a bit, no invitation needed as he reached for the mug, slowly sipping on the tea.
He did know. Lloyd was sure of it.
“Don’t worry about it. Can you take your top off? I want to make sure nothing is infected.”
“Damn… and I just put these on.” Kai humored, setting the mug down briefly to take his shirt off, tossing it to the side. “It’s only a few scratches on my back, I think I patched them up alright,” he hummed as he picked the mug up once more, wrapping his hands around the warmed cup.
The bandages were wrapped tight yet haphazardly, multiple moments within the wrapping where pieces of skin were exposed due to the uneven spread. Lloyd’s fingers were cautious, nervous, he cautiously made his start. “Where was this from?” Lloyd asked as he started to unwrap the bandages, stained with ash, sweat, and the occasional splotches of dried blood, but no response ever came. “Kai?”
“Oh, I… I’d rather not,” Kai replied rather promptly, and Lloyd did not need to see the other’s face to sense the hesitancy.
“Don’t worry, forget I even asked,” Lloyd assured him, a few minutes went by, and Lloyd soon finished unwrapping the bandages around Kai’s torso and was forced to bite the inside of his cheek to keep himself from gasping audibly. The scars were not fresh by any means, but the scratch of a creature Lloyd did not want to even imagine did indeed bury itself deep in Kai’s skin. Not to mention, Kai’s skin appeared burnt. Not too burned, only minor ones, but the edges of where the wound had closed were… well— “They don’t look infected, so that’s good.”
“I cauterized it.”
The words were only the verbal confirmation of what Lloyd had suspected. “Yeah… figured,” cautiously, Lloyd traced the wounds and the burns against Kai’s skin from a faulty cauterization attempt on his own back. “You need to take a bath, for starters. It’s a good thing they are closed, but the dirt that’s stuck on you and the bandages isn’t ideal.” Lloyd paused; Kai slowly turned around to look up at him. “Was the tea good? I need to get you some actual food, but I figured that’s a start.”
“It was perfect,” Kai sighed as he cautiously rose from the couch, stumbling a bit on his feet. “Right… a bath, and food, that sounds great.”
“I’ll start something and then go help you,” Lloyd said, almost casually, Kai stopped in his tracks. “What? To make sure you clean the scars properly. There’s probably stuff buried in there, plus the burns, in a place you can’t reach. You’re not reaching that on your own, especially in the state you’re in.”
Kai raised an eyebrow.
“If you don’t want help, you can just say so. I’ll back off the second you tell me to.”
Kai pouted slightly. It appeared as if he was getting more emotional, but he never opened his mouth for a quick retort and instead turned away and started walking towards the bathroom.
“Fine.”
Lloyd smirked a bit as Kai walked off.
~
Lloyd had brought the soup he was working on to a gentle simmer, smiling at his progress. It was far from Zane’s cooking (how he missed Zane), but edible, and he was quite sure Kai currently would not have such a strong preference for what he ate. It would be done soon, and until then, he could make sure Kai cleaned the wounds properly and did not drown in the bathtub.
Lloyd made his way down the hallway, the old floors creaked with every other step. “Kai? It’s me, can I come in?” Lloyd knocked on the door twice. Of course, there was no reason for it to be anyone other than Lloyd, and thus no reason for Lloyd to declare it was himself as he entered the bathroom, but as Lloyd considered Kai’s reaction on the couch when he was disturbed, he felt the warning was more necessary than it appeared.
“Yeah, come in.”
Lloyd entered the room and smiled in satisfaction at the tub, which was bubbled up, and all parts of Kai’s body visible from above the water were covered in bubbles and mostly clean. “The water is warm by the way, just a heads up,” Kai said rather absentmindedly before he splashed his face with the water once more.
“No worries, I would hope you were using warm water if anything,” Lloyd stepped inside, taking in their situation before he kneeled beside the bathtub, but he paused at the sight of Kai’s further damaged skin.
It was much easier to see now that Kai had cleaned himself up for the most part, the dryness evident in patchy skin while blemishes which ranged from murky purple to pale green and yellow decorated his skin. “Are those bruises?” Lloyd asked with a frown.
Kai’s eyes widened a bit, but the other male simply shrugged his shoulders. “Yeah… they’re old though,” Kai hummed as he leaned forward a bit to make his back easier to reach.
“They’re bad though,” Lloyd sighed as he scrubbed Kai’s back with just enough force to clean it up effectively, but not to disturb any of the injuries, slowing down when he heard the occasional wince from the other ninja. “There, the actual cuts aren’t too bad.” Lloyd nodded, glancing at Kai. “You know, you should probably wash your hair.”
“That sounds like a lot of work; it’s just hair,” Kai murmured, he moved to rest his arm on the rim of the tub as he propped his head up. This was the statement that caused Lloyd to gasp, to know how deeply terrible Kai felt. “It’s been… weeks? It’ll survive until I get up tomorrow.”
Haha… Kai thinks he will wake up tomorrow given the condition he is in. Hilarious.
“I got you,” Lloyd reached for the shampoo bottle and poured a bit onto his hands; the way Kai’s face lit up was enough to make his heart melt. There’s that smile. “I know you like your hair, I got it. Just sit there,” Lloyd started to massage Kai’s scalp, the soap being taken in almost immediately.
“I don’t think you’ve washed my hair before,” Kai mumbled as Lloyd’s fingers danced through his hair, matted, and tangled, but still Kai’s all the same. Specks of soot were very quickly starting to wash out as Lloyd put more shampoo onto his head.
“You’ve washed mine though,” Lloyd smiled, rinsing out the shampoo before he continued. “Plenty of times.”
“No one’s ever washed my hair before,” Kai whispered, his eyes staying closed as Lloyd gently scrubbed his hair, soft melodic motion the way Kai did when they were younger. “I used to wash Nya’s when she was younger… I hope she’s okay.”
“Well, I’m glad I get to be the first,” Lloyd whispered in return as an attempt to end their short conversation on a lighter note. He started with the conditioner as he felt Kai slowly drift away from the land of consciousness. “Kai, I know you’re tired, but please don’t fall asleep in the tub. I don’t want you to inhale water or something.”
“I almost drowned saving you, I can deal with a little bath water,” Kai chuckled a bit, and even though the memory was traumatic for them both, Lloyd found himself laughing too.
Kai ended up falling asleep as Lloyd was on the second round of conditioner, and the green ninja did everything in his power to keep water or soap from going over his face as he sat in the tub, still running his fingers through Kai’s (now clean) hair. It was soaked, but regaining its softness that Lloyd was slightly familiar with, before the other drowned his hair in hair gel, that is.
He almost seemed peaceful, exhausted but peaceful. The eyebags were so deep, the skin underneath his eyelids appeared purple, and there was no amount of immediate intervention which could hide the hollowness in his face. Lloyd had watched the scars on Kai’s face grow as time passed, and he had gotten used to it, but the new scars seemed extra haunting, as they were scars Lloyd was unsure he would ever be able to understand their origin.
Those scars were between Kai and The First Spinjitsu Master himself.
Lloyd finished rinsing Kai’s hair and decided there would be no harm in drying it before he had to wake Kai once more, before he had to force Kai to leave the comfort of much-needed sleep to exit the tub. Lloyd reached for the small towel on the side of the tub before he began to tussle with the wet hair to dry it as best as he could.
Of course, this was the motion which ended up stirring Kai from his impromptu slumber. “Mm… Are you done already?” Kai yawned; he slowly blinked a few times before looking up.
“Yeah, basically. I was drying your hair off,” Lloyd continued with the towel until he was satisfied, he set it on the side with a smile.
“Did I really fall asleep in the tub?” Kai groaned, but he did accept the much larger towel Lloyd had handed him. “God… that’s embarrassing. Sorry—”
“Don’t worry about it at all,” Lloyd quickly reassured him, once more. You’re exhausted, more than I have ever seen you before, he wanted to shake the fire ninja till the message sank into his chest, till Kai believed it and let him look after him with no second guesses, just once. “I’m going to make sure the soup is done, unless you need help getting to your room.”
“It’s still here?” Kai’s face lit up as he exited the tub. “It hasn’t been destroyed?”
“Yeah, it’s still here.” Lloyd nodded. “The monastery remained mostly intact after the merge. Your stuff is right where you left it too.”
Kai smiled. Lloyd did too.
“I can make it there on my own,” Kai nodded as he practically hobbled down the hall, he held the towel around him like a lifeline, Lloyd was sure of it.
Lloyd felt himself filled with that childlike sense of urgency as he ran towards the kitchen to make sure the soup that was once simmering was unburnt. After weeks where his biggest priorities were saving his area from mergequakes and scavenging for any clues on the other ninja’s whereabouts after the incident, making sure soup for Kai was hearty and unburnt was a nice change of pace.
On a tray, he filled a glass with water and set a few pain medications on the side (that would do him good, for the aches), as well as the bowl full of soup (with extra meat, of course), and despite all his great accomplishments in the world, Lloyd felt especially accomplished with this.
He was deep into his twenties now, but always the youngest, always still desperately trying to grasp onto the childhood wonder he was so wrongfully robbed of.
Lloyd thought about Kai as he held the tray tight and cautiously made his way down the hall. Kai also had to grow up quickly, too quickly; with his parents gone at a young age, forced to handle the blacksmith and care for his sister, and then care for Lloyd as a protector, it was all too quick.
Even now, as Kai was so worn-out he would fall asleep in the oddest of places and he was too weak to even use his elemental powers continuously, he still tried to keep that strong front of an older brother, as he always did.
As Lloyd knocked on Kai’s bedroom door, he wondered and truly thought about it. Kai deserved to be the youngest once in a while, especially in his current condition. At least, just this once.
“I brought food and pain meds,” Lloyd found Kai topless as he sat in, in order to let the cuts breathe and heal, but also in his favorite fire-print pajama pants that he fondly remembered teasing Kai for in their short time as celebrities.
“You’re a lifesaver,” Kai commented, not wasting a second before he dug into the bowl.
“I know it’s not Zane’s food or anything, but I tried my best,” Lloyd chuckled, and even at the tail of the sentence, Kai was already halfway done with the bowl.
Lloyd decided he did not want to think about the last time Kai ate something.
“It’s perfect, don’t worry about it,” Kai quickly said in between a spoonful, with the most energy he has had since Lloyd had found the male. “Oh, it’s so good,” he grinned.
“Don’t talk with your mouth full,” Lloyd chuckled. “And I’m glad it’s edible.”
Soon enough, the bowl was empty, completely empty. “Thank you, Lloyd,” three simple words which carried more meaning than he could ever imagine, Lloyd set the tray on the side.
“There’s more in the kitchen, but respectfully, you need to sleep and not wake up for a hot minute,” Lloyd smiled, getting a smile from Kai in return. “Is there anything else you need?” He asked as he adjusted the covers to make sure Kai was definitely not getting up any time soon. It was comforting, maybe for Lloyd as well to know that fact. He had just gotten Kai back, and he would not be letting him go any time soon. “Well, if that’s the case, I’m glad you’re here now—”
Lloyd had not even finished his sentence.
“Please don’t go, please, Lloyd,” from where he lay buried in sheets, with glassy eyes almost tearing up like a child but with a complete lack of that childhood innocence they lost all those years ago, Kai pleaded. That older brother front Lloyd had been gently combatting this entire time was through the window, exhausted amber eyes stared into him and wouldn’t drift.
“Alright, I’ll stay, but you have to actually fall asleep at some point,” Lloyd, instead of leaving, had gone to the other side of the bed and moved to lay down next to Kai. He hadn’t laid like this with Kai since he was a proper teenager, yet their position worked like clockwork as Kai lay rather still, Lloyd leaned his head onto Kai’s uninjured shoulder.
“Oh, I’ll have no trouble with that, just give me a few minutes,” Kai cracked a smile as a yawn briefly interrupted his sentence. “I just need a minute,” his breath paused, and he seemed to tremble slightly. “It’s been… scary the past few weeks. Terrifying, even. I was terrified I would—” his breath started to pick up, heart beginning to race as his eyes grew wide, tears threatening to pour.
Lloyd was all too familiar with the reaction, how it hit himself many times before. Quickly, he laid a hand on Kai’s chest, a way to snap him back to their temporarily safe reality. “Kai… it’s okay.” He spoke, words the way Kai and Nya used to tell him. “You can relax and rest up, you’re in the monastery, not where you were before,” Lloyd nodded. “You’re home now.”
Lloyd watched as Kai could not stop the tears which started to pour, they streamed down his face as soft whimpers changed into heavy sobs. Lloyd did not have the heart to break up the moment, only pulling Kai closer as he continued to cry, and cry, and cry. More than Lloyd had ever seen him before, he sobbed until it appeared there was hardly any energy left to do anything at all. Lloyd never let go of him, not even when Kai’s eyes much too suddenly fluttered shut through fatigued delirium.
As Lloyd readjusted Kai’s sheets and the other was out like a light, their fleeting thoughts were all the same.
The Waltons S04E06, 'The Breakdown': Jason struggles with too many obligations and ends up wearing himself out. (In the first scene he defends a girl from her drunk boyfriend and gets decked for his trouble.)
I do good work
I do things well
I push myself
straight into hell
I got things done
I make things better
I burnt out my drive
and it's not getting wetter
I made the effort
to be cutting edge
but went a few too many
meters of the ledge
I can't say I did poorly
I'd be graded an A
but it's just unsustainable
to keep trying this way
