Learning to Belong in a Different World
I’m not tired.
That’s the first thing I need to say—mostly to myself.
I’m challenged -- and I like it.
For a long time, I was a supervisor. I knew the terrain. I knew how to lead people, how to read, explain and defend metrics, how to survive high-pressure environments where everything was measured, timed, and scored. The BPO world taught me structure, resilience, and how to carry responsibility without flinching.
Then I stepped into a completely different world.
From leading teams, I became rank-and-file again. From a familiar system, I entered a large, legacy institution where things move differently. Where history matters, where processes are layered, and where learning isn’t always visible or immediately rewarded, where feedback are not immediately provided (or given only when it didn't suffice the requirement).
Some days, I’m still figuring out how I fit... and if I would.
There’s a quiet thought at the back of my mind that says: Maybe I won’t be here long. But I don’t think that thought means I want to leave.
I think it means I’m still listening. Generally speaking (or writing).
Listening to who I’m becoming in this space. Listening to whether this environment will stretch me in the ways I want to grow. Listening to whether I can belong here without losing myself.
What makes this season strange and beautiful is that I’m not running away from difficulty. I’m leaning into it. I’m learning new tools, new ways of thinking, new kinds of patience. I’m doing work that didn’t exist before I started. Work that’s quiet, foundational, and often invisible.
... and maybe that’s what makes it hard.
Because when you’re building systems instead of outputs, progress doesn’t always look impressive at first glance. Sometimes it looks slow. Sometimes it looks messy. Sometimes it looks like learning.
But I know this much: I’m not stuck. I’m not burnt out. I’m not failing.
I’m in transition.
For now, that’s enough.