#workingthroughtrauma

[silentscarsjournal]

The Journal that made me emotional....

[mwgaybachelor]

CYRUS- “The guilt is just too much sometimes, Dr. Stevens. Even when I sleep, I see him. I just can’t get it out of my mind.”

DR. STEVENS- “Cyrus, all these emotions of guilt and thinking of your friend are normal. But you need to reflect on moving forward. He would have wanted that for you.”

CYRUS- “I just wish I could talk to him again, and understand why he jumped in front of me. Who does that? Why would he risk his life for mine?”

DR. STEVENS- “He cared for you, that was obvious, and he didn’t realize I am sure that he could be killed.  He just wanted to save his friend. His motivation was to save you.”

CYRUS- “I get that, but he had to have known that he could be killed”

DR. STEVENS- “Sometimes in situations like that, our adrenaline kicks in, and we don’t always think of the consequences of our actions, our fear is put aside and all we can think about is to do what is right, in our minds. Morgan did what he thought was the right thing to do at that precise moment.”

[mwgaybachelor]

DR. STEVENS- “Cyrus, I think you are making great progress.  I know this is difficult, and you hold a lot of guilt, but you need to continue to work on how to channel that guilt into something productive. I think we can cut back our sessions.  You will be going away to school soon, so let’s schedule weekly visits, does that sound okay to you?”

CYRUS- “Sure.  You are the doctor.”

DR. STEVENS-  And if at any time, you feel like you need to talk, call me, any time, any hour, you understand?”

CYRUS- “Yes, thank you doctor.  About going away to school.  I am going to talk to my dads about re-enrolling me here at the Boedell Academy.”

DR.STEVENS- “Actually, I think that would be to your benefit.  You need to be in familiar territory right now.  If you like I can speak with them in regards to keeping you here.”

CYRUS- “That would be awesome, if you could.  I mean if you really think it would be for the best.”

DR. STEVENS- “Yes, I think it would definitely be in your best interests.”

[brainofjen]

It’s taking me a while to get through this one for personal reasons, but it’s a very compelling read. I highly recommend picking it up (but be sure to keep lots of tissues and comfort items/foods handy too). #workingthroughtrauma #bookstagram #goodreads #knowmyname #chanelmiller https://www.instagram.com/p/B3kr-D5Ai_A/?igshid=10bmygzk28vqn

[mwgaybachelor]

CYRUS- “My friend Esther says he gave me a second chance.”

DR. STEVENS- “How does that make you feel, Cyrus?”

CYRUS- “Confused, and---obligated I suppose.”

DR. STEVENS- “I am not sure that was Morgan’s motivation, but the outcome of his actions, certainly have given you a second chance.  I think your confusion is based on your questions as to why. There isn’t a definitive answer as to why, because we can’t ask Morgan that question.  As for the obligation, you shouldn’t feel obligated, at least not to Morgan.”

CYRUS- “Then to who?  I’m here because of what he did.”

DR. STEVENS- “So who do you think?”

CYRUS- “I don’t know...I want to do what is right by him, Dr. I want to make something of my life. I know the path I was going down was leading me to destruction, and this really has made me re-think who I am.”

DR. STEVENS- “Okay, so who should you be obligated to?”

CYRUS- “Myself?”

DR. STEVENS- “Exactly Cyrus. Not to Morgan, or your family, his family or anyone else. You need to feel obligated to yourself. You are a remarkable young man, with a lot going for you. Don’t ever forget that. Morgan’s choices may have very well given you insight into who you were, but only you can be who you are.  It’s up to you now.”