i am overwhelmed by what i want to do and what i feel capable of every day. i was asleep for most of the day yesterday. i dont know how Not to fall into depression that keeps me from doing anything. there isnt a one right answer to it but i just dont like that regardless. when im doing badly it makes it much harder to do things i need to do to feel less bad
my head hurts, cant talk or text easily *but ill still stare at screens till it hurts more so well..., i lose focus and it makes it hard to drive or orient myself in place and direct myself, so i get worried of leaving the house, i cant talk well when im doing worse... wagh!
and my skin is getting worse again but its difficult to clean things and wear gloves and have hand lotion and use it and. and i want to cook more, to bake more, dealing with other people and my frustrations have led me to feeling more and more anger welling up inside me like it used to, and i dont want to be like i used to. im already depressed and stuck like i was in high school id rather not lash out in rage again.
and its like, the free CBT therapy thing the only free therapy available here, cause nothing else is covered by OHIP, i havent been following thru and feels so pointless and bla bla.
i just sound so depressing,i dont actually buy into a lot of my own negativity, im just so frustrated. i just want a job at least, i WISH the library would give me an interview at LEAST, id truly be perfect for it. ill just try to learn some recipes from this book and go from there i guess, otherwise im going to lose my mind even further
