#worry post

[amuseoffirebane]

I think I accidentally caused a mutual to deactivate awhile back. I'm still going back and forth over whether I was too harsh with them. I just hope they're ok and hate me rather than... yknow, not being around anymore

[premise29]

my mom flew in to visit and she's been sick for the last two days...

i will keep my fingers crossed that it's not covid but it really sounds like it could be covid. : (

we are both vaccinated so maybe it won't be too bad. Still possible it is just a flu and it's just bad luck

[uniqueforbeingme]

New Experience

Today is a new day with a new challenge for me, a new section of my store to work in. I work at a print and ship shop and I’ve worked in shipping for the past month and a half and now that I’ve told my manager I would like to become an assistant manager one day (not for a couple years though) they thought it was about time to put me in the print shop. This of course makes me extremely nervous. The fiance is telling me not to be nervous that I’ll make mistakes but I’ll learn but surprisingly, the words of wisdom don’t help. New experiences are always scary for me and will always be.

For Example, I drove out to Georgia with my aunt and uncle to visit my cousin for her graduation from College. it was a 14 hour drive and the longest I’d ever been away from my fiance. I probably had 3 stress headaches, constant eye twitching, always on edge, and not to mention constant stomach aches. After Georgia it was up to Biltmore house in  North Carolina. It was the most beautiful scenery I’d ever seen but it didn’t stop the constant panic. New things have always scared me some more than others. Now I can say with certainty that I am not that nervous about today but it doesn’t make the change any easier.

I’m sure today won’t be bad but that won’t stop me from worrying like crazy.

[cool-ghoul]

Seriously though, I always sweat when I turn in essays, because I’m usually either reviewed as “an exemplary, powerful work, worthy of publication. 100%, A+, you’re gonna go far, kid.” or “A total mess. Only meets the Rubric standards for ‘5000 words’ and ‘technically written in English’, 30%, F-.”

My writing style doesn’t fluctuate that much regarding subject matter; I rarely phone in an essay. So this is either a sign that:

1) I’m actually a pretty solid writer, and something’s incredibly wrong with the academic system if similar professors teaching similar courses at a similar level in similar disciplines can grade similar papers so drastically differently, rendering the essay format a spectacularly subjective and unreliable judge of a student’s grasp of the material.

or,

2) I’ve failed at some critical, but highly abstract level of academic rigor that some professors are more willing to forgive (because I have some nice ideas), while other professors who are more adherent to formal academia (and trying to prepare me to write for it) will gladly crucify me over to not let one more shithead dive bleeding-wound first into a shark tank.

Maybe both, but this has been going on since, like, Middle School. I dunno.

[salora-rainriver]

I haven't seen spyfxxxcker post for like weeks, are they ok? If someone sees the Sam, pls tell Sam that I am a worried mother hen, and to pls send me an ask or text or carrier pigeon to ensure that u are ok and not like, dead or in jail . I am concerned.

[ottobooty]

I have to clean my room today, but I don't think I have enough hangers to do so.

I also need to organize my dresser drawers and get rid of shit I don't need and fold things up 

I have a dentist appointment tomorrow at 9 and I'm worried the cost will be too much for my family.

I need to study for three tests and I have to still write a paper in APA format, which is something I've never done before. 

I still have to write shit down for a group project and find a way to get us all together so we can work on it.

I need to start to look for a job.

a girl in my psych class, Kira, asked if I wanted to go working out with her one of these days and that's really nice of her but I don't know if I can work up the courage to work out in front of other people

I miss Donskoi and Gokuma, even though I've talked to the latter a lot since Donskoi's computer went in for repairs, I still feel weird if I don't talk to either of them on a daily basis.

I might have to give my cats a flea bath because it's gotten that bad.

[pumpkin-patch41]

Having a pissy attitude about everyone and everything.

Thanks. Thanks so much. I know I'm supposed to be working on not letting other peoples' negative attitudes affect me, but damn. Your's is impossible to ignore.