Kurahashi hated how much he liked Toubyou's smile.
It was bright—too bright. Warm like sunlight, sincere and kind without even a trace of malice. It didn’t suit a world like his, full of shadows and lies. Toubyou smiled at everyone, constantly. You met his eyes even for a second and he’d beam like it was the most natural thing in the world. He pretended to be annoyed by it sometimes, but really, he liked it. Too much.
Especially when that smile was directed at him.
And yet, every time it happened, something painful twisted in his chest. His heart beat too fast, his thoughts ran too far—into places he didn’t want to go. He didn’t deserve that smile. Not when he was hiding so much. Not when everything between them was built on things left unsaid. They were just classmates. Just teammates. Just roommates. And he clung to that “just” like a lifeline.
Still, he stayed. Selfishly. Because the warmth Toubyou gave off lit up something cold and buried inside him.
Now, as they walked home from practice, Toubyou rambled on about the next basketball competition and he watched him quietly. The furrow of his brows, the excited glint in his eyes, the way his mouth moved—he really was too full of life.
Then Toubyou turned, eyes locking with his.
“Let’s do our best, Kurahashi!” he beamed.
He felt it again—that rush of emotions, that ache deep in his chest. He hated it. Hated himself for wanting to stay in this warmth, for pretending it could last. Hated how much he wanted to freeze this moment, to keep it for himself but he couldn't. Because one day, it would all fall apart.
But for now—just for now—he’d stay beside him.