#worthystevie

[memoirsofabutchlesbian]

In the age of social media

Things tend to get a whole lot worse before they get even marginally better.

I mean that in the sense that in order to let go of you- to get over you, I had to forcefully make myself do so. Which was/is the most agonising time of my life.

I love(d) watching your Instagram stories and reading your tweets and just generally knowing what you're up to- whilst we were a thing and even after- until I realised that watching and reading and keeping up to date with you wasn't doing me any good. All it was doing was fulfilling a toxic habit that I really enjoyed.

So I actively had to teach myself not to click onto your Instagram stories and stop going onto your Twitter and refrain from liking all of your social media posts.

People told me to block you but we didn't end badly, it was actually very amicable. So I couldn't justify doing that. Sure, it probably would have been easier to erase the temptation but it seemed like such a drastic move.

And to be completely honest, the thought of you realising I had blocked you and driving yourself crazy trying to figure out why just didn't seem worth it.

Personally, I think it was better this way. I taught myself discipline. I taught myself restraint. I taught myself life is good even without you in it.

Don't get me wrong, I'm still learning. Every day is a new day of:

"No. Do not click on to that story."

"Stop. Do not click onto her Twitter page."

"No really, you don't need to know if she's doing okay without you or not."

But today, I spent my whole day laughing and talking to people with only a handful of intrusive thoughts about you.

Tonight, I spent a long overdue evening with my parents who, for so long, have questioned where their outgoing, life loving daughter went.

Sunday, the 13th of June, I remembered that life was good before you and it still can be good after you.

I didn't drink tonight.

I will continue to try tomorrow.

[oliverjcnasqueen]

Did you know that at night I hear the stars calling my name? Their whisper is so soft. I can see the sun's gaze at me Its rays touch my skin  so gently. They treat me like I'm important to them, like somehow I was with them at the beggining. They treat me like I was the one that  ordered them around. Their voices are like a breeze, asking me what to do now. They say that in my veins runs  holiness, that I was once perfect, my image wasn't broken neither was my heart. I was a princess destined for the throne, my Father was kind and righteous, He taught me everythiing, even what I couldn't touch. But I touched it and my world crumbled down I was exiled and now, I'm only a tale to be told.

Once in Eden // e.b.

[fireandsteelofangels]

to say the heart isn't ruthless  is to lie because the heart doesn't discriminate between want and need  it just obliterates the fine line between despair and devotion  and every mistake the universe made goes back to the heart every story the constellations create is because of love if hope is the most ruthless of virtues because once it has been gifted, it can never be destroyed  than the heart is the most dangerous part of the body because the beating of it always sounds like someone else's name

and mine has always been yours by Abby S

[thcrin]

- and you have been dying ever since // k.s.

[lostcap]

It’s like sitting in the bath with all your clothes still on because you forgot to take them off. It’s drowning with your life jacket on, in two feet of water, despite all those fucking swimming lessons. In the end, $25 dollars a class for the entirety of two summers means absolutely nothing. Not when it comes to you. Not when it’s holding my breath while driving over a bridge because I know in my bones that the water rise and engulf me. It’s shaving my head so I won’t have to wash my hair and then growing it out and spending an hour in the shower under the water just so you can run your fingers through my tangled curls. It’s standing with my feet in the ocean, holding your hand — I have been afraid of drowning for as long as I can remember, and nearly always with you.

p.d (via p.d vulpe)

[steebucks]

We know we are living because we bleed, And we know we are breathing because it hurts

unfinished poems (iii) | a.h

[sorrowingsoldier]

Stucky+Colors 1/?

[treatyoselfboxes]

Good news, everyone! We have made the Stucky themed necklace from our first box, ‘Till the End of the Line’ available for sale on our Etsy store! We had some extra charms so we decided to make more of these necklaces for anyone who missed out on the box/wishes to buy them. There are only 10 of these available, priced at £5.50 (not including shipping). Get it here! (:

Reminder that our second self care box, themed around Black Widow, is still available to order from our shop!