her sleep hasn’t been peaceful , painful ebbs of consciousness and nausea leave her eyes swollen , head pounding. she should never have come with ellie , but then -- there was no way in hell dina would have let her go alone. could’ve would’ve should’ve it doesn’t matter now. a shiver wracks through her body , involuntary and debilitating. she hates how much her body is not her own , how much it belongs to discomfort and biology. with a deep , shuddering breath , dina pries her eyes open , accepting that she needs to move. prove she still has some control.
jesse. he’s here. by her side. even though he has no reason to be. but that’s not exactly true , is it ? dina’s life can be measured by loss. first of her father , then her mother and brother , and finally her sister. but she hasn’t been without family. not since jesse welcomed her into his heart. ( and she let him down. she couldn’t love him enough. )
“ hey -- ” she manages to croak , a bitterness coating the back of her throat but not infecting her voice. she’s so grateful to not be alone. but there’s guilt , too. and it’s almost as nauseating as , well , the nausea. carefully , dina maneuvers her body to a sitting position , hands running self soothing motions up and down the worn red velvet of her makeshift bed. “ you okay ? ”
my heart is so sad and so happy @wraeiths