#wretchedsuggestion

[wretchedsuggestions]

Tonight is the last night I will spend in this room.

Tonight is the last night I will live in this house.

Tonight is the quiet, somber end to a chapter I’m afraid to let go of.

Tonight has not been what I imagined it would be.

I feel sentimental

but in a lonely, sad little way.

This wasn’t supposed to be “goodbye forever”

this was just supposed to be “farewell until next time, old friend.”

But there’s really no use in dwelling on it.

It’s time to fly from my nest

into an endless sky.

There is no looking back from here.

Because even if I do, I won’t see the past.

I’ll see the entirely new future that is manifesting

with each shining sunrise.

.

Sometimes growth is painful.

And that is okay.

This home has seen enough growth.

It’s time to move onwards.

Goodnight, today.

Hello, tomorrow.

[wretchedsuggestions]

This summer has been a very large growing pain.

Sometimes the hurt doesn’t seem worth it

Sometimes the grief seems inescapable.

I may cry now

but after the growing is done

I know I will be stronger.

[wretchedsuggestions]

I facetimed you tonight

I told you that I had reconsidered my thoughts about college, and I feel like I should go to Indiana.

it was a hard talk to have. you said you just don’t like the idea of long distance, it’s just too hard. but we agree that we love eachother and we want it to work and we want to be optimistic. still, it’s just very hard.

through my tears and my breaking voice, i tell you i love you.

you tell me there’s a song you used to listen to a lot in eighth grade. the gale song by the lumineers. i can hear the sadness in your voice. you start to cry.

i don’t think i’ve ever really seen you cry before.

you tell me that the song is about a guy who dates this girl who moves away. she becomes successful, forgets about him, and finds someone new. he can’t take it and he kills himself. you always associated that song with me leaving.

i promise you that i could never forget you, even if i tried. you have changed my life. you exist in everything i do. i would not be able to make beautiful music if i had not been loved by you.

i promise you, jacob, that i love you and i only want to be with you. i am not the girl from the song, and i will prove that to you. i love you. my destiny.

[wretchedsuggestions]

Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high

There’s a land that I heard of once in a lullaby

Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blue

And the dreams the dreams that you dare to dream

Really do come true.

Somewhere ovee the rainbow, blue birds fly

Birds fly over the rainbow, why, then oh why can’t I ?

[wretchedsuggestions]

I just want you to think I’m beautiful and sweet and funny. I just want you to enjoy and appreciate me. I just want you to want to be with me. I just want to be important to you. I just want you to love me.

[wretchedsuggestions]

I just feel like you don’t really love me anymore.

I just don’t think you’re interested. I think maybe you don’t want to admit it to yourself, or maybe you just don’t want to admit it to me.

I don’t know what to do.

[wretchedsuggestions]

I just feel silly sometimes.

I pour so much of my heart into you. I write you letters, I try to surprise you, I try to be thoughtful, I try to be supportive, I try to be everything you need.

I just feel silly when I give so much and I don’t get that back any more. Is it something I did or said ? What did I do to turn you away ? I can try to be better. if I only knew what I needed to do.

And it hurts me because I feel silly for loving so much and I feel like I need to act cold and distant to get your attention. I go all day without messaging you only for you to not message me until it’s night. I just feel like a clown. I give so much and for what ? Are we not in a relationship ? Why am I acting this way ?

Why do I hurt this way ?

[wretchedsuggestions]

I still worry about the future a lot.

I want to have you with me, I want us to go through school together. I want us to be in love always.

I don’t want to leave you, I don’t want you to leave me. Please always stay. I love you so much.