As one, the ballroom bursts into action, multiple Aurors running towards Agnes then halting in their tracks, hesitant to touch her. The security attendants to the side of the stage sweep towards Harry, muscling him back towards curtained safety even as he fights to stay in the action.
“No!” he yells, pulling at his shoulders, trying to loosen the Aurors’ restraint even while his eyes dart around the ballroom, following the commotion.
He knows, beneath the adrenaline, that a dozen Ministry officials are already at Agnes’ side, but he can also see them hesitating to do anything. Hermione would likely refer to his current urge to join them as more of his ‘impulsive heroism.’ He has no clue what he would do if he reached the action. All he knows is that disappearing behind the stage curtains very much feels like the wrong answer. The muscled men don’t lessen their hold though, as they haul him off the platform.
The last thing Harry manages to see before he’s separated from the chaos is Malfoy, wand pointed directly at Agnes, staring furiously and unblinkingly at her bloody form.
I took part in a typeset exchange for the @renegadepublishing Discord server, and this is the typeset I received! It was created by @imaginariumpress from the fic I Do Not Love You by @writandromance. This fic is probably in my top 3 fics - it has it all. Angst, memory loss, slow burn, more angst, and ultimately a happy ending. So good, like all of the author's work. I'm partway through their latest fic now, so I'm really immersed in them! Love it.
The typeset itself is beautiful - check out the chapter headings and the section dividers! And the font choices are so lovely. I chose the cover font based on the font used on the chapter headings and the music page. And I want to note that generally I do not like when "fancy" fonts are set in all caps, but I don't know, there was something about this one that called for all caps on the spine. It just fits the vibe, I think. I love it.
The bind mostly went together smoothly, but I didn't cut it perfectly straight in the guillotine, so, erm, it's a little crooked. But it's FINE it's FINE. And then I made the cover, it came out perfectly, but the boards were a couple of millimeters wider than I would have liked and I should have LEFT IT but no, I had to try to trim them while glued to the bookcloth and, well, that was a bad idea. So I had to start over, but all's well that ends well.
And I was going to do a black on black cover, but I chickened out, so I don't love the color of the endpapers with the cover, but it's fine, it's fine.
I know I always say this, but it’s always true - I am so excited for this month’s guest reccer! To say that Grace, who writes as @mintawasalreadytaken, has excellent taste would be an understatement - she is a tastemaker. I realized as I was looking through a server that we’re both in that I read Coyote Ugly (which I recced a few weeks ago) based on her recommendation first! She’s also an accomplished writer herself, so if you like her rec, be sure to check out her works.
I leave the format of the rec up to the guest reccer - sometimes people use emojis, sometimes they give the rec as bullet points, and sometimes people prefer to write paragraphs. Grace asked if we could have a conversation about this fic together, and I eagerly agreed! I’ll be TDL below, and she’ll be Grace. Just as a heads up, there are minor spoilers for the fic below the cut.
Without further ado, I present the May Happy Hour Recommendation - in conversation with @mintawasalreadytaken!
I Do Not Love You by @writandromance (228,290 words, Rated M)
In 2013, a carefully-designed Obliviation leaves Harry reconfiguring his life and identity without any memories of true love; an act that's essentially erased Draco Malfoy from his mind despite a wedding band and shared home.
In 2000, Draco had expected Pansy's relationship with Luna to bring the Gryffindors a bit closer to his orbit of quiet, carefully pacifistic existence, but he never expected to navigate such a transparent embrace into a unit of family, friendship, and love.
A mystery, two love stories, and a reminder that learning to love never has an end date.
TDL: You picked I Do Not Love You for this month's rec. Would you start by telling people who have never read it why they should give it a try?
Grace: I think I speak for a lot of us in the world of fanfiction, specifically Drarry fanfic, that we're not generally known for being chill about our obsessions. So, as someone who's read a lot of hurt/comfort and angst, I Do Not Love You stands out to me because it does a number of interesting things with its key trope, amnesia. It's a love story told backwards, and a love story that's as much about hate and how hate destroys as it is about love and how love builds.
TDL: I appreciate that you brought up the love story told backwards - I think that's one of the best parts of this story. The way, especially at the beginning, that the two plot-lines contrast makes it stand out to the reader about what Harry's lost, even when Harry himself doesn't realize.
Grace: Mmhmm, agreed. We start very firmly rooted in Harry's POV, with an eventual back and forth POVs between Harry and Draco, at opposite ends of the timeline of their relationship. So there's this wonderful tension there, right from go.
TDL: I think that's something very smart and enjoyable about Writ's writing. She's very good at creating that tension and then trusting the reader with it. She’s excellent at showing one perspective, and letting the reader infer the other perspective. It would've been easy to write from Draco's POV and get all of his angsty heartbreak firsthand, but instead she writes it from Harry's POV and we get his anger and are left to come to our own conclusions about Draco's hurt. It makes the conclusions more powerful to the reader.
Grace: Trusting the reader is certainly one of her strengths. Part of my deep enjoyment of this fic is how it begs to be re-read. It's only on the re-read that certain details, "tells" in Draco's behaviour, for example, become clear indicators of what will happen. But you need to learn them from Harry's POV first. It makes for a very fun circular read, in that way. Another way that trust is established masterfully is the contrast between Harry's anger in the present and the vignettes of his empathetic, whole-hearted earnestness in the flashback scenes. The distance between the two Harry's emotional states is enough for the reader to draw their own conclusions of how much it must pain Draco to go through this experience.
Though I will say, the angsty heartbreak moment we do get to see firsthand gets me every time. It's the most delicious stab in the heart!
TDL: I know it’s a spoiler, but will you be specific? What part exactly are you thinking of?
Grace: “I lost my husband.”
TDL: I put that quote down in my notes too - and "I didn't even get to say goodbye."
Grace: It gets to the heart of the worst part of a beautiful relationship: the fear of loss.
TDL: So we've done our favorite angsty moments. This fic, while angsty, is also really full of fun and funny moments. Does anything stick out to you along those lines?
Grace: Two stick out to me immediately. One is a callback to the Pablo Neruda quote off the top, from which the fic takes its title. "Your hand on my chest is my hand,” only Harry adds his own sexy twist to it, lol. The second is this incredibly tense moment mid-fight where Harry snaps about how long it would take to fall back in love with Draco and Draco's deadpan response of "You said 'when'" which is peak Drarry to me. That stubbornness in the face of literally anything, even the other avowing their supposed hatred.
What's your favourite funny moment?
TDL: Oh it’s got to be when we find out later that Pansy laughed at the toothbrush incident. It's just such a best friend thing to do. It felt like something I'd do to my sister or that she'd do to me and I think it added a realness to their friendship. They’re ride or die for each other, but they also laugh at each other, even in the hard times. I also love any scene Jules is in!
Grace: Agreed! The toothbrush moment was hilarious. And Jules is one of my favourite of Harry's familiars/pets-with-speaking-roles, ever.
TDL: I'm obsessed with the idea of a chameleon speaking Parseltongue! I also feel like Jules' character had a lot of thought put into it - what would be important to a chameleon? What would a chameleon notice and think in this situation?
Grace: Yes, his take on death and his sense of humour about it – that bonds Harry to him. The lens of his understanding of the relationship between Harry and his "ice queen" and the purpose of molting. It was all so well done. The fact that Jules can infer Harry's emotional state and then decides on whether and to what degree to argue about what kind of feed he requests is so spot on. Amazing characterization work.
TDL: With all of Harry and Draco’s friends and family, this fic had an ensemble of characters. Were there any other favorites?
Grace: My two favourites live on opposite sides of the spectrum. Ron, for his stoic, constant style of quiet and level-headed support. And Blaise, a true wild-card, who is ruled enough by ego to do things that endanger his relationships with both Harry and Draco, just never too much. They love him for it, even though he can be a chaos monster.
TDL: Blaise was on my list too! I thought his shenanigans brought a lot to the fic and I thought it was cool to see him portrayed as an equally important friend to both Harry and Draco that Harry saw him as someone to turn to for help, not just “Draco’s friend” but “my friend.”
Grace: The melding of friend groups, as most often happens when you're in a long term relationship, was done masterfully here. and the lines drawn in the sand becoming murky in places and crystal clear in others when a break-up looms, too.
TDL: Which brings us back to that relatable fear of loss - this loss is not just one person but friendships, community, a life and a future.
Something else that I want to mention is how immersive this fic is, even in a re-read. I knew what was coming and was still hooked.
Grace: True! It begins with a focus on interiority. We get the emotional punches first, and then the plot to underpin it. But in my view, the plot comes second to the feelings. It's a fic that invites you as the reader to put yourself into Draco's shoes. We all experience loss and so when we get thrown into this situation of experiencing what, for both of them, they consider a world-ending loss, we relate. The troubles only begin there, because after that there's still waking up every day and trying, again and again.
TDL: For a fic whose title refuses love, what better description is there for love than waking up every day and trying, again and again.
Is there anything else you’d like to add before we end this rec?
Grace: Just to say thank you for entertaining this, and for your thoughtful questions! And to thank Writ for writing this masterpiece of a painful, quietly beautiful love story. And to end on a quote – one of the ones I come back to constantly, as a reminder to self of the usefulness in trying at the things we find the most difficult:
"Aw, don't get smart to wash off all the vulnerability, you wore it so well," he replied, eyes sparkling. As he backed towards the doorway, his arms opened wide. "Bask in the beauty of a difficult, emotional conversation."
xoxo minta / grace
❤️ As always, if you enjoy this rec, please bookmark abd leave the author a kudos or a comment! ❤️
Lots of Love and Happy Friday!
PS - If you're interested in knowing what Grace and I are reading next, @writandromance just started posting a new Pride and Prejudice based fic. It's not complete, but chapter one went up today and we are so excited!
i don’t have a large drarry audience, BUT. in the interest of trying to use this blog more socially, and because it’s just amazing, i have to rec this fic. i must.
Hollow by @writandromance is easily my favorite ever fic about pumpkins. more than that, it’s a beautiful eighth year story that draws on how both harry and draco are struggling with their past, present, and futures, and how they come together (and fight, and fall apart, and come together again) to grapple with their issues...while raising pumpkins.
summary: In the rising tide of autumn, Harry and Draco found themselves bound by the challenge of raising pumpkins from a barren garden in time for the Halloween feast. If they expected the task to be simple, however, the complexity of collaborating would prove them wrong faster than the leaves could turn. Is it harder to contemplate one's post-war existence or coax a gourd to harvest?
this writing is bittersweet, complex, and just deeply affectionate. i love every color and texture of it. i love that this writer (and i recommend all of their fics; I Do Not Love You messed me UP and i kind of had a meltdown about it with my friends, it’s fine. ANYWAY) engages with really complicated dynamics in the h/d relationship, and does so with such balanced compassion for both of them.
it’s been a while since i’ve read such a poignantly unique eighth year fic. please read it! the autumn vibes are perfect so hurry up!
hello! i am looking for a gorgeous, angsty h/d ewe fic in which the boys are married but something happens to cause harry to lose his memory of his entire relationship with draco. harry is repulsed just like when they were kids. draco is a concert pianist. amnesia harry falls back in love with draco and then his memory is restored. thank you!
We believe you're looking for I Do Not Love You by Writ_and_romance (228k, M)
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