#writelanguage

[writerfromthewest-blog]

I wanted so much

too much

[writerfromthewest-blog]

no medicine

sorrows swim in a sea of

anti-depressants.

I’ve come full stop and

no one cares.

[writerfromthewest-blog]

Fever

I wish you were next to me, so close I could feel all 98.6 degrees of you.

I wish you were next to me, so close you could feel the same heat, then the fever that always comes.

I am a forest fire at your touch, the break of your smile, the crinkle of your electric eyes.

[writerfromthewest-blog]

i wish i was better than i am.

i wish i was as good as they see me.

i wish i was okay with what i am not.

[writerfromthewest-blog]

cry out, from the underground

sometimes i feel like i don’t exist, like i go in and out of bouts of invisibility.

there are moments i want to hide from the thousands of eyes that hold me in their gaze.

then there are days, weeks, months, years, when i am screaming myself hoarse -

oh please notice me oh please notice me i’m here i’m here i’m

here.

[writerfromthewest-blog]

the threat of friendship

last night I woke up to rain, my headache gone and my body sighing. there was light in my room that seemed to tickle the darkness, but it held its laughs, resolute. i thought of you and how it’s been so long, how you said we’d talk when you came home - but you’re not coming home again.

i’m just so tired of how things change -

how i’m never ready when they do.

[writerfromthewest-blog]

when enough is not enough

I am on the cusp of being so in love with you. But I dam myself, hold it back, keep it pushed as deep as it will go.

There are days when I am bursting, a geyser bubbling with affection for only, only, only you.

And there are other days when I can wait, when the waters calm, and the mere possibility of you is enough-

but

today is not one of those days.

[writerfromthewest-blog]

direction

you whispered to me in bed on a cold, rainy day after a brutal attack of the nerves and heart. “failure won’t tempt you…it never has.” i cried, swallowed your words, let them buzz at the base of my soul.

i felt you buzzing tonight, i felt you creeping up to remind me of your whispers all those months ago. i felt your reminder, that gentle nudge, in the right direction.