Every Life has a Moment 3/5 ~Olicity Fic
So here’s 3/5 and this time a lot of heavy emotions come out to play so yes I might be warning you to have a tissue handy.
As always enjoy and you can read it here or on A03
“Past Issues”
Last time in Chapter two....
1 Year Later…
“You’re not asking me to marry you?” she squeaked from the floor of their shared home.
Oliver fell to his knees and wept openly, “Yeah baby I am…”
She gazed at him with tear filled eyes, “You wouldn’t be if I wasn’t pregnant…”
Oliver shook his head ruefully then placed the ring box on the ground between them, “When will you believe you mean everything to me?”
She sputtered as her palm flew to her stomach, “When I believe that you only loved me…”
Twelve hours before...
She heard his knuckles lightly rapping on the bathroom door while her forehead lay resting over the edge of the toilet seat. She grumbled in misery, “I’m okay baby it’s just my stomach again...”
She heard his forehead inching down the door panes as he sighed gently, “Honey please just cancel the lunch. It’s just mom, and the social chair for the committee that they both want you to organize...”
Felicity’s insides churned violently as the acid from her stomach coursed through her throat, she felt the burn before the stinging acid bit along her tongue moments before it came falling past her pale lips. Her body quivered as her stomach’s contents came up forcefully through her slight form. Oliver pleaded gingerly, “Felicity please just cancel the lunch, I’ll come home and we’ll go see Dr. Franklin.”
“No...” she winced as the bile lingered in her raw throat. “You have the board member meeting today...”
“So you’re more important than that!” he protested sharply.
She let her body shudder in agony before her forehead once again fell over the seats rim. “I love you for that baby I do but I’ll just have mom take me okay?” she whined weakly as her stomach once again began to burn.
She heard his gruff, “I’d rather be with you,” through the closed, thin door. She smiled slightly and called out, “I’d rather be with you too...”
She could hear his smile when he quickly replied, “I’ll call you around 2 for an update baby...”
“I’ll make sure the phones not on vibrate,” she replied before she heard his footsteps along their homes grey laminate floors.
“I love you,” he called out quickly before he knew she’d no longer be in earshot.
She screamed back, “I love you too,” before she let herself fall backwards into the comforting embrace of the cool, bathroom tiles. Her body’s tensed muscles eased the moment her spine felt the cold air from the ceiling vents brushing over her heated skin. She placed her hands over her stomach and growled towards the offending body part, “What the hell is wrong with you?”
Her stomach burped and gurgled but did nothing more in reply. She scoffed emptily and crossed her legs while her back remained on the floor. She heard the drip from the bathroom sink, she heard her downstairs neighbor’s blaring stereo system through the floors, and she even felt the vibration from the loud beat as she wondered aloud, “Could this be more than the flu?”
She gave herself a mental quiz...which ended up being her wondering aloud to the bathroom walls. “Okay so when did we have unprotected sex?” she first thought as the music below her back continued to beat pleasantly along her elongated spine. Her first thought of course was the shower but that was more than six weeks ago and she’d only been feeling unwell for the past three days. She clicked her tongue along her lower teeth and drew a calendar along her stomach. Her cycle tended to be a bit irregular so she normally never really thought about when it started she just always knew that it did.
She laughed to herself when she recalled the last time she’d felt like this...
It was about three days after the snow storm. Oliver’s fingers were tangled in her hair as she felt her slender body heave violently. He placed his free hand over her shoulders and whispered through her gnarled cries, “You know this is really not sexy...”
She hiccupped in humor, “Really? You don’t find the sight of your best friend’s vomit to be an instant turn on?”
He held his breath, “Ummm no...” he joked in his very nasal tone while she crinkled her disgusted nose.
“Well you wanted a relationship,” she noted as he gently pulled her back and onto his lap. She curled into his chest with her face pointed outward while he put his chin over the crown of her head. His arms were anchored around her waist as he placed a timid kiss to her head.
“So you’re still just my best friend huh?”
“What title would you prefer Oliver?” she groaned in mild if not faked annoyance.
She felt his fingers pinching along her sides as his throaty laughs echoed through her tired body. “I was thinking girlfriend if that isn’t too much to ask...”
Felicity bit at her lower lip in contemplation. “Well I’m a girl and I’m your friend...” she thought aloud.
Oliver mused quietly, “And you’re the love of my life who I recently had sex with...”
She elbowed him gently which still made him wince, “Ow...” while she breathed, “Do we really have to put a label on it this soon? Can’t I have like a trail period where I get to explore the item before I decide if I want to buy it?”
“I feel like a set of steak knives Felicity,” he choked before kissing her hair gently.
She couldn’t help the giggle that raced through her body, “I would have gone with dildo but hey I guess knives work too...”
That remark led to his fingers trailing along her aching sides until her muscles cramped. He tickled her until they were both on their sides with her back still pressed firmly to his front. He laughed happily, “Seriously baby what do you want?”
She laced their fingers then brought them to her stomach until their hands overlapped, “I want to be us, just you and me is that okay?”
He nuzzled at the nape of her neck then breathed, “Yeah baby we can just be Oliver and Felicity...”
She smiled slightly as her stomach finally began to settle. “You know I’m surprised you haven’t asked me...” she realized as they each fell into their unique rhythm of enjoyable silence.
“Asked you what?” he mumbled against her skin.
She placed her forehead along his bicep and sighed, “Well we had unprotected sex and now I’m sick so...”
His nose nuzzled along the small hairs of her neck, “Please if you were pregnant I’d be the last to know,” he commented simply.
She nodded in agreement, “Yeah that would trigger some issues for me...”
“Exactly and anyways if you were pregnant I doubt you’d have morning sickness three days later...”
Felicity wanted to smack her forehead when she realized how blind she’d been once the memory ended. She glanced around the black and white bathroom with brushed chrome finishing’s and groaned, “How the hell did I let this happen...” then promptly leaned upward and left the comfort of her floor and searched for her phone.
The hospital gown felt stiff, uncomfortable, and frankly itched as it lingered over tingling skin. “Relax Felicity, I’m almost done...” Dr. Franklin barked lowly as Felicity’s toes curled.
“Well I’m sorry but I hate this damn gown, and frankly having your head between my legs is not exactly ideal!”
Rita bit back a laugh but still her words were said in great humor, “Well you can ease those toes sweetie I’m all done.”
Felicity released her held breathes as the metal contraption of evil slid down her cervix and back towards the room’s cold air. Her body shuddered a bit when the instrument finally was freed. Her fingers tapped out what she swore was Morse code as she quickly tilted up her head. Rita’s kind, wrinkled smile appeared moments later as she slowly stood. “Well?” Felicity gulped, “Is it a cyst like I thought?”
Rita had her first glove off and was working on the second one when she smiled, “No it’s the option you’re not willing to vocalize.”
Felicity’s head fell back over the rigid pillow in defeat, “How far along am I?” she nearly cried as her hopes for something far less devastating were dashed.
Rita reached for her trembling hands and slowly grazed her thumb over her white knuckles. “About six weeks I’d guess,” she soothed.
Her stomach plunged to her toes while Rita continued to gently stroke her hands. “Sweetie pregnancy doesn’t have to mean death,” she offered knowing Felicity’s history better than most.
She nodded while her eyes filled with unshed tears, “Yeah that’s what the father will say when I finally find the courage to tell him.”
Rita patted her hands gently once more then said, “Well now that we’ve confirmed your symptoms are due to a baby and not a cyst would you be willing let us take a picture of your little tyke?”
“Can’t you just say sonogram?” Felicity pleaded with emptiness filling her crumbling soul.
“Do you want Moira to be here?” Rita breathed as she prepared to stand.
Felicity’s eyes flicked to the small machine before they flickered to the bottle of gel, “He deserves to know first but...” she chewed on her lips as always and internally debated her options. While Oliver deserved to be first person told he wouldn’t forgive her if she didn’t ask for help when she clearly was emotionally distressed. She felt the bile rising to her throat while she remained in her uncomfortable supine position. Rita was already lifting up a section of the gown to expose her still taut abdomen. She hesitated for another second before muttering, “I need my mom.”
Rita smiled sadly then replied, “I’ll have her brought back okay?”
Felicity nodded relived while her heart clenched in despair. Rita pressed the intercom as Felicity’s mind wandered to the moment her world truly changed...
The room was cold that much she remembered clearly. The bright iridescent bulbs burned her small eyes as a pair of strong hands dragged her through the hospitals off white halls. She blinked rapidly as her small five year old legs struggled to keep pace with the older paramedic’s stride. She hiccupped in fear when the man came to a grinding stop. “Where’s my mommy and daddy? Where’s my baby brother?”
His blue eyes she later came to find were the reason that Oliver’s own always made her feel safe. His small lips curved sadly while he folded his tall, angular frame until he was crouched over his large feet. Felicity blinked away another stray tear as the man’s hand began to shake. She sniffed, “What’s wrong?”
Those blue eyes slid closed while he sighed, “Something happened when they tried to deliver your baby brother...”
His touch felt foreign, cold and frightening as she croaked, “I want my mommy...”
The kind stranger tired to say something more in comfort but all he could say before a loud scream filled the waiting room was, “Sometimes things go wrong...”
After that she saw the familiar sight of her father’s business partner and long time friend Robert Queen. Behind him was the source of the pained scream...behind him was his wife Moira. Felicity peered over the stranger’s shoulder as he too glanced towards the disturbance. He whispered, “Do you know them?”
Felicity cocked her small head and narrowed her blurry eyes. The paramedic glanced over her tired face and smirked when he asked, “You normally wear glasses don’t you sweetie?”
She bobbed her small head, “Yes but I was tired so mommy put them in her purse while I took a nap.”
He grinned, “You’ve awfully smart for your age aren’t you?”
Felicity shrugged her small shoulders and mumbled, “I guess so...” as the screaming woman approached. Her heels clacked along the cold, white floors like ice as it rained down over a metal roof. Her caramel voice melted through the tender moment as she scolded the kind stranger for his actions.
“I pray you’ve left the details to my husband and I Mr....”
She had to squint to read the faded print of his name tag. Felicity being closer gathered her wits the said, “Owen...his name is Owen Mrs. Queen.”
Moira’s icy eyes immediately melted as they drifted from Owen’s face and down to Felicity. Her skin glowed as she smiled sadly. “Angel would you mind giving me a moment with Owen?”
Felicity glanced between the two and shivered. “Mrs. Queen is my mommy okay?”
She bowed her head and whispered slowly, “Sweetie how much do you remember from the accident?”
Felicity remembered nothing other than how it felt when she was shaken awake by her mother’s awful sounding screams. She squared her small shoulders and grimaced when she admitted, “I just remember her screams...”
Moira’s eyes fell in shame. Owen patted her small shoulder then spoke sternly towards the older woman, “She was found between them. Her father we suspect died on impact when the metal frame crushed his bones. Her mother was found with a weak pulse and the girl curled in her lap.”
Moira’s cold voice snapped at the man’s insensitive approach, “You couldn’t wait until she was in another room!”
Felicity’s small voice felt even smaller when she whimpered, “Please where’s my mommy?”
Moira fell to the floor, scuffing her shoes and destroying the knees of her hose. She cupped Felicity’s small cheeks with warm comforting hands and brushed her thumbs over her tear stained cheeks. Owen kept his hand over her small shoulders while Moira’s lips quivered through the painful truth. “Tonight while you were coming to the hospital something bad happened.”
Felicity nodded with the innocence of a child. Moira continued with tears streaming down her own narrow face. Felicity could see small flecks of black as the lines of her own tears marred her otherwise perfect face. “Your car was hit by another driver...” she nearly sobbed as Felicity caught Robert’s grief stricken face lingering just behind her. His usually bright eyes looked pale and forlorn as he slowly fell to his own knees upon the hospital floor. He placed a cold hand on Moira’s shoulder and whispered to her ear, “They didn’t make it. The strain of pregnancy was too much...they’re gone...”
Moira’s controlled sobs changed into a blood curling wail as she drew Felicity tightly into her trembling arms. She moved willing into the awkward embrace, her cheek fell upon her coat’s collar as the older woman murmured, “It’s going to be okay Felicity, It’s going to be okay...”
“Hey Angel you still with me?” she heard her adoptive mother ask as she placed a tender kiss to her furrowed brow.
Moira slid her fingers through Felicity’s as her other traced along her damp cheek. She smiled and brushed her thumb over a falling tear. “You know the baby didn’t kill her sweetie the car accident did...” she soothed as Felicity nodded in fear.
“She had a complication that’s why the baby was six weeks early...” Felicity wept as Moira squeezed her shaking hand.
Rita I just need a quick minute is that alright?” she asked without ever averting a gaze from Felicity’s terrified eyes.
“Of course Mrs. Queen I’ll just make sure the equipment is calibrated,” she answered before the door behind them clicked closed.
Moira’s chest faltered as she swept a piece of hair behind her ear. Felicity leaned into her touch as she spoke, “You’re afraid that he’ll die the same way your father did aren’t you?”
Felicity felt shame as she croaked out a pathetic, “My father died protecting his children and, Oliver wouldn’t hesitate to do the same...” Her chest began to ache as her selfish fears poured forth. “It was bad enough when I fell for him...”
Moira smiled, “I’m going to selfishly disagree since that for me was a very blessed day,” she murmured as her eyes softly fell.
Felicity’s eyes rolled, “You don’t understand, I can’t lose him Moira, I can’t face the idea of living from day to day in a world where he doesn’t exist.”
“I’m practically your mother so let’s drop the Moira and secondly Angel loving him is what saved you hell it’s what saved him...” Felicity saw the wheels turning in her mind so she saved her the effort and admitted with shame...
“I never intended to give him a child because I knew in the end it would destroy us both.”
Moira’s lips pursed in empathy not disgust. “That’s why you tried to keep your relationship platonic I assume?”
Felicity digested the question then mumbled, “Yes...”
“And when he pushed you into admitting your feelings I’m betting you put up another internal wall?
Again Felicity mumbled, “Yeah and look where my “emotions” left me.”
Moira leaned forward until her lips were at Felicity’s ear. She whispered in a snippy tone, “That’s what condoms and birth control are for sweetie.”
Felicity gulped as Moira placed her forehead over hers. “You’re saying that subconsciously I wanted a child aren’t you?”
She felt the older woman’s smile grow as her nose crinkled, “You’re too smart to leave anything up to fate angel, you always were.”
Felicity groaned, “Apparently this time I did...”
Moira laughed, “No you didn’t Felicity. You’re ready for more but you’re just unable or unwilling to admit it.”
“That’s ridiculous,” she scowled.
Moira pushed further, “Then say it, tell me why didn’t want to love him from day one?”
Felicity felt the confidence in her voice, she felt the determination in her eyes and she felt the empathy in her touch. Moira was pushing her to break down another wall the only problem was Felicity didn’t want to crumble for anyone but Oliver.
“I didn’t want to love him because...” Felicity started just to end the verbal brawl as Moira held her hand tightly. Felicity felt her chest stammering as her heart fluttered. The moment felt wrong, the timing was off and the forehead that should be there wasn’t. Her words felt cold and dis-joined as they left her numb tongue but still she managed a weak but somewhat honest declaration through her muted tone, “I didn’t want another grave taking up residence in my shattered heart.”
Moira pushed lightly, “And why don’t you want a baby?”
Felicity’s entire body shuddered. This wasn’t meant for her it was meant for Oliver. Her truth, her words, her fears all of those moments were meant to be shared with him as he held her in his loving arms. She stammered and groaned as her mind searched for the words to end the conflict. “I don’t want him dying because of them...” she offered weakly but Moira knew better.
She pushed back with harsh words, “Don’t be the selfish brat that broke my son’s heart, be the person he deserves instead of the weakling who nearly let him marry the wrong woman...”
Felicity croaked, “They were never close to that and you know it...”
“Still you almost let him go and I want to know why? Why are you really afraid of having a baby with the man who’d give his life just to see you smile?” she probed as their foreheads remained connected.
Felicity stammered, “Please don’t make me say this...”
Moira pushed back, “I won’t but only if you promise to tell him...”
Felicity’s eyes slammed shut, “He’ll never understand...” she whimpered almost uncontrollably.
Moira insisted once more before she pulled away, “He knows about that day sweetie he’ll understand why you’re afraid...”
Her chest heaved as she spoke, “Moira…mom it’s not the simple.”
She nodded in empathy, “I know but something inside of you is still broken from that day...”
Felicity nodded grimly, “He won’t understand why I didn’t tell him, he won’t understand why I lied...” she breathed as something inside her heart finally began to heal. “He doesn’t know that she almost died while giving birth to me, he just thinks it’s about my brother he doesn’t know how far it really goes...” she admitted in one large painful breath.
“He’ll ask you to marry him Felicity...he’ll push for more if you don’t give him the truth willingly,” she murmured just as Rita knocked on the door.
Felicity looked up at her adoptive mother and cried softly, “The problem with that is I want to marry him...”
Moira’s tears fell, “You can’t marry him if he doesn’t know sweetie, he has to understand he could lose you...”
She gulped heavily, “I’m going to end up pushing him away.”
Moira croaked, “He’ll just push harder...”
Felicity simply sighed, “Yeah until I break his heart...”
She leaned her aching forehead over the numbers upon their front door. She savored the cold of the bronze metal and yearned for the courage to face what she know was waiting beyond the threshold. Her eyes burned then her vision blurred as she swallowed a strangled cry. The sonogram picture was crinkled between her fingers, their child’s image was in her hands and all she could do was struggle with the urge to scream.
The ground below her vibrated, the beat seemed to permeate through the soles of her shoes as she swallowed a gnarled plea, “Please don’t let me screw this up...” she begged lowly. “Please let me heal...” she prayed as her free hand flew to her stomach, “Please let this child be born...” she wept before she stowed the picture in her coat pocket and solemnly reached for the door.
The darkness engulfed her willing as she stepped slowly inside the stillness of the empty room. She flicked the switch by the door and dropped the keys into the ceramic bowl on the kitchen counter. She stood there frozen. Her bones felt like concrete had filled the hallow spaces. She lumbered forward, she felt the cool, marbled, grey colored granite beneath her trembling fingers. She squinted her eyes when she saw a broad set of shoulders lightly heave. She leaned her hip along the counter top’s beveled edge and roughly cleared her clogged throat, “Most people turn the lights on when it gets dark outside...” She kept her tone light and even as her mask fell swiftly into place.
She saw the slope of his shoulder heave as his head fell. She managed to drag herself to a chair along the island; she even managed to pull the dark colored wood outward but stopped when he mumbled almost deadly, “Mom called me after your appointment...”
Her nimble fingers curled over the chairs back, “How much do you know...” she spat angrily as she started slumping to the cold floor.
“Let’s not blame her shall we...” he growled with his back still slumped against the back of their off grey colored sectional.
Felicity rolled her eyes swiftly while allowing her body to fall back against the white paneling of the islands cabinets. “Why not? It’s her fault we even met to begin with so it makes complete sense to me...”
She heard him roll his broad shoulders and even cringed when his elbows landed on his stiff knees. “Don’t Felicity, just don’t I’m not going to rip apart our history just so you can avoid telling me the truth,” he replied coldly with no regard to her fragile state of mind.
It was then she knew that Moira had said nothing. She huffed in agreement, “Fine so what do you want?”
“Felicity,” he sighed painfully.
She proceeded to crack her neck, he in turn groaned as she smiled with glee, “What baby still hate that habit?”
He inched off the couch and maneuvered around the table by the sectional. The light from the city below lit his face in an array of conflicting shadows as he moved along the living room rug. Felicity watched him gingerly walk the floor as she sought to control her rattled nerves by rubbing her fingers along her coat covered upper arms.
He glanced toward her and breathed with strain lacing his throat, “Just tell me is it what you thought?”
She bowed her head and bit her lip, “That depends on how you look at it I suppose,” she cowered in shame.
He dragged his palm down his chiseled face and sighed, “Cut the crap Felicity and just tell me what to expect.”
She shrugged lamely, “I don’t know what would you expect from someone whose six weeks pregnant?”
She heard him place his dress shoes on the grey floors. He shuffled forward nervously while mumbling, “We’re having a baby?”
She glanced up sarcastically, “Yeah and guess what I’m not elated.”
He froze about three feet from her seated form. She noticed his left hand was dancing about nervously in the left pocket of his trousers. She cocked an eyebrow and swallowed a painful laugh before muttering, “You’ve got to be kidding me...”
He shrugged, “It’s the logical next step?”
“How? You thought I had the stomach flu! How is marriage the next logical step!” she shouted in confusion.
His tone weakened, “Well mom said the news was life altering and I figured it might lessen the blow if you knew that no matter what I was with you...”
Her body began to crumple. The mask she’d managed to hold was fading as the weight of her unsaid confession weighed heavily on her soul. The tears she’d managed to swallow now were creeping along the ducts of her eyes. Her fingertips felt bruised as she rubbed them raw along the fabric of her coat. He stood proudly with the ghost of a smile as she finally felt her emotions give way.
“You’re not asking me to marry you?” she squeaked from the floor of their shared home.
Oliver in an uncharacteristic move fell to his knees and wept openly, “Yeah baby I am…”
She gazed at him with tear filled eyes; “You wouldn’t be if I wasn’t pregnant…” she tried with a stammering heart.
Oliver shook his head ruefully then placed the ring box on the ground between them, “When will you believe you mean everything to me?” he nearly cried with anger fueling his strangled words.
She sputtered as her palm flew to her stomach, “When I believe that you only loved me…”
He glanced at her with confusion literally dripping from his mournful eyes. “That I only loved you?” he garbled as she watched in interest.
Her plan was simple. It was calculated but simple; she was simply going to convince him that she feared he’d love their child more than he did her. He’d be disgusted and if she was lucky he’d leave her in a fit of rage. If this worked and the pregnancy ended up killing her then at least he’d be spared the pain of mourning his wife...Her plan was simple but, something inside her felt strange. She chewed at her lip and hid the small ghost of a frown over her full lips; her stomach ached as again something inside her twisted not with guilt but oddly with anger…She shrugged off the strange feeling and remembered her silent vow…
She told Moira in Dr. Franklin’s office that she was going to break his heart and dammit she intended to but, what she’d forgotten to foresee was what she’d always failed to see...
Oliver wasn’t going to let her self-destruct...even if it meant he did in the process.
He folded his hands over his lap and scrunched his adorable forehead. Felicity despite her thoughts smiled at his adorable grin. He however glowered when her words finally clicked into horrifying place. “You know you had me,” he declared.
She splayed her hand over her stomach and gulped, “Had you?” she purred innocently.
He smirked but it wasn’t the one that indicated she was about to made a very happy woman, no this smirk was to indicate she’d been caught. “Yes Felicity,” he seethed, “Had me, you almost had me until I saw where your hand was positioned...”
Her ashamed eyes fell as she muttered quietly, “I was trying to spare you...”
He huffed angrily, “When will you get it through your thick head I’m not leaving you, I’m not quitting us, I’m not abandoning you, and I’m fucking in love with you!”
She shouted back with downcast eyes, “YEAH WELL I FUCKING LOVE YOU AND THAT’S WHY I WANTED TO SPARE YOU!”
He growled darkly, “And what making me believe that you were selfish enough to hate me for loving our child was your plan? I mean honestly Felicity what did you think I’d do? Were you going to tell that because your father died saving you, you were afraid of losing me the same way? Did you really want me to just walk away and leave you?”
She glared then seethed bitterly, “What gave it away?”
Her comment caught him off guard, she smirked in happiness as he shook his rattled head, “Again only loved me was a bit telling given you’re pregnant.”
“Shit,” she moaned bitterly. “I knew that was the wrong word,” she groaned as she eyed the small box before her. “Mom’s wedding set I assume?” she asked defeated.
He laughed lowly, “Yes and stop avoiding the fight. You were going to what tell me that because your father died saving you, you were afraid to lose me the same way right?”
She mumbled lowly, “It was a thought yes…”
He nearly cracked his jaw when he growled, “You had a backup plan I know you…” Her eyes slipped shut while he groaned through her possible list…”Let me guess you were going to end this pregnancy because of your mother’s second pregnancy? Or even better...” he continued on as she sat there and quietly stewed. “You weren’t going to tell me at all; you were going to simply leave before you started to show?”
“Well I put more thought into the plan than that but, yes I was going to put up another...”
“Wall...” he interrupted glumly.
She glared then gulped, “Yes, I was going to put up another wall and convince you that I couldn’t be with someone who loved our child more than me.”
He mumbled in disgust, “You’re sick you know that?”
She bowed her head and lightly patted her stomach, “No I’m scared and guess what fear makes me do foolish things,” she said weakly to aid her defense.
“Trying to convince me that you’d despise me for loving our child is pretty low even for you...” he groaned as he began to move backward along his knees.
She nodded in horrified agreement, “I’m not too happy about my choice either but the truth is worse.”
His retreating form froze, “How is that even possible?” he asked in what could only be described as terror.
She looked up with freshly fallen tears and mumbled, “Because based on my medical history both the baby and I could die.”
Oliver’s eyes fell so she kept going while her hand remained firmly over her stomach. “Do you remember when I was around fourteen?”
He nodded then mumbled gravely, “You were sick for about a month. Mom wouldn’t let me or even Thea see you, she alone tended to you. Well she and Dr. Franklin...”
She saw him breathe heavily; his body seemed to retract inwards as he brought his palms to his elbows. Felicity swallowed a tender cry of remorse before continuing slowly with empathy brimming in her voice. “Apparently I had an ovarian cyst; which terrified me because when my mother was pregnant with me she had one that ruptured...” She felt the tears falling freely down not only her face but she somehow could feel his as well.
He breathed, “That’s why you were going to the hospital that night...”
She nodded, “She’d been sick for a few days. She was being monitored because of what happened with me. They delivered me via C-section after the cyst ruptured. She barely survived the procedure and I was trapped in the ICU for almost a month because I was about 5 weeks early.”
“That’s why you had glasses at such a young age right?” he mumbled as he gradually moved closer. She could feel his soul breaking before her as he pushed the ring box across the floor and towards her feet.
She again nodded and reached for the token. “Yeah...” she murmured as she folded her fingers around the box’s hard edges.
“Your brother was the same?” he asked a bit awkwardly.
She smiled sadly, “He would have been had it not been for the accident...” She felt his knees bumping along her feet. She gazed at his handsome face and finally lifted her hand from her stomach. She saw her fingers tremble as she inched her way towards his titled jaw. She gasped when he reached forward grabbing her hand and twisted her wrist until his lips were at the center of her palm.
He croaked through the tears in his throat, “You didn’t want me to lose both you and our child...that’s why you did all of this...” he suddenly realized.
He kissed her skin tenderly once more before he moved his hand to her fallen chin. She in turn cupped his cheek as they each leaned inward. The moment their foreheads touched she immediately found home. “I’m so sorry but I’m just so fucking scared to be without you...” she sobbed almost instantly.
He chuckled lowly, “Well I’d say the feelings mutual but based on your actions you sorta knew that.”
She smiled before her lips fell back into small frown, “I swore I’d never put you through this…I swore but now that I’ve seen him or her I can’t lie and say I’m not overjoyed…”
He croaked, “I don’t have the words to describe what I’m feeling but dammit honey this has got to stop…”
She mumbled contritely, “I know baby, believe I know…”
He murmured against her lips, “Why didn’t you tell me about your mother? Why didn’t tell me that’s what you were afraid of?”
She mumbled incoherently, “I was so young when it happened and I didn’t realize that I could have the same condition, and then when I fell for you it got really complicated. So I put up about a thousand walls figuring you’d never be dumb enough to tear them all down but, then you did and like an idiot I started wanting you to.”
Their lips brushed endlessly as she spoke, his reply to her endless words made her stomach flutter with hope. “Then why not just bring them down yourself? Why did it take me years of groveling for you to realize you’re it for me?”
She let him kiss her soundly with more tenderness then she deserved before her words fell freely from her bruised lips, “By the age of five I’d learned two very painful lessons, one love kills and two living without love is damn near impossible.”
He whispered against the corner of her mouth, “Then why the hell did you fight me?”
She inhaled deeply then pressed her fingers gently over his skin. His head tilted into her shaky touch as she exhaled over his tingling skin, “Because I can’t live in a world where you don’t love me and, letting you in meant you’d have to love all of me…”
He pulled away just enough so she could see his heart in those perfect eyes. “Then tell me you’ll marry me,” he murmured. “Tell me you’ll spend the rest of your life with me as we both work on eradicating those damn walls of yours.”
She starred into those endless blue eyes and marveled at his capacity for forgiveness. She mumbled along his bottom lip as their fingers traced along the other’s skin feverishly, “How can you still want to marry me?” she questioned briefly.
He pressed a very timid kiss to her slightly parted lips. She felt his tongue skimming along her bottom lip as he muttered, “I’d be lost without you so I understand the twisted logic...”
She kissed him tenderly, “Can you ever forgive me?” she asked once they parted.
His nose rubbed along her own as they remained connected by their foreheads. “As I already said this has to stop honey. You can’t keep running from me Felicity. I can’t keep losing us because you’re afraid I’ll leave, I can’t keep fighting for us alone with one hand tied behind my back,” he pleaded endlessly as the box once more fell at her feet.
She glanced down at the unopened square then glanced back to his eyes. She licked her lips as he brushed his own over them. She smiled into the deepening kiss as he pulled her closer. She parted her legs and pulled herself over his lap. Her knees rested along the floors with his hips burning the skin that touched them. She murmured as his fingers became twisted in her hair, “Then yes…”
Oliver’s heart stopped and for the first time she felt the skipped beat. She timidly placed her palm over his thudding chest and whispered lowly, “I felt that...”
He bypassed the statement for a moment and uttered, “You said yes?”
She giggled, “Yeah I said yes, why wouldn’t I?”
He nearly choked in shock, “Would you like to go through out tortured history?”
“No,” she mumbled as his heart jumped again. Her eyes flared when she muttered, “It happened again…”
“What did?” he asked quickly.
“Your heart, it literally just skipped another beat and somehow I felt it,” she croaked emotionally with a feeling of solace racing through her once nervous veins.
His eyes blazed, “How?” he murmured before their lips touched.
She shrugged then realized as their lips brushed, “It’s because I’m finally ready to stop running…” Moments later her timid tongue was softly touching his.
His moaned, “So we’re going to be a family?” raced through down the smooth muscles of her throat before they edged their way firmly into her steadily beating heart.
She smiled once more as her whisper was engulfed by the first of many endless kisses, “Yeah because we already are...”
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