Foolish Heart
Summary: You thought Bucky would never want to settle down, but it turns out you were very wrong.
Pairing: Beefy neighbor!Bucky x reader
Warnings: 18+ only, vague mentions of sex, fwb situation, v-day themes, lots of kissing, angst with a happy ending, sweet fluff, pet names, swearing, Bucky is a sap, reader is tired of heartbreak and is scared of getting hurt, little Star Wars reference.
Word Count: 3k
A/N: This little fic is my submission for @pellucid-constellations Love Letters Writing Challenge 💌 Inspired by the prompt at the very end ❤️
Like, comment, and/or reblog to put a giant smile on my face ♡
“Another minute, please baby.” He greedily leaned in to meet your lips again.
“I’m not your baby, Buck. This is just fun for now,” you mumbled as you kissed the handsome brawny man, your tongue sliding along his.
Bucky’s brain short circuited — you felt like heaven, but your words, they made no sense. You were his and he couldn’t comprehend why you’d say that. “So…” he slowly pulled back, “you’re just using me?” He tilted your chin so that you had to look up into his gorgeous blue eyes. “When you wake up in my arms, you’re just my pal?” he asked with a small pout on his lips.
Heat rose to your cheeks, “a very good pal,” you murmured, peppering kisses along his strong jawline, hoping to distract him for a moment. He caved immediately, grabbing your face and redirecting you to his soft lips. You held onto his broad shoulders as he traced his tongue along yours, making your heart race in your chest.
Bucky groaned when you tangled your fingers in his hair and gently pulled — every single time you touched him he felt it; that spark, that perfect jolt of electricity running through his veins. It was ever present when he had the privilege of being close to you.
One thing was for sure, Bucky knew that you were made to be his. You moaned as his large warm hands cupped your ass, squeezing firmly.
“You can use all of me,” he muttered as he pulled away and looked into your brilliant eyes. “But just so you know,” his fingers brushed against your cheek, “I want so much more with you.”
You narrowed your eyes and wrapped your arms around his neck, “Bucky, c’mon. It’s not a good idea,” you whispered against his lips.
“Says you,” he said before his lips brushed over yours, trailing down your jawline, to your neck, slowly; as if your denial meant nothing.
As if you were his, body and soul.
And maybe you were, you thought as he parted from you with a soft kiss on your forehead. But that didn’t mean he had to know.
While you repressed your feelings, Bucky relished the way you looked at him hazily with kiss swollen lips; you were the most adorable girl in his eyes.
“I’ve gotta go meet up with Sam,” he breathed out, a shy smile tugging at his lips. “But I’ll text you later, okay?” he said before swooping in for one more sweet kiss.
You nodded, “Okay — I mean you don’t have to text me,” you shrugged as nonchalantly as you could. “I’ll see ya, Buck.”
Bucky shook his head with a grin, he couldn’t understand why you chose to pretend there wasn’t anything more between you two. “Bye, angel.”
┈┈┈┈┈・・
You were nervous when you moved into the townhouse next to Bucky’s. Worried that you would have a rowdy neighbor or someone annoying next door. However, you were incredibly pleased to find out that your new neighbor was none of those things.
A few days after you had moved in, Bucky came over to introduce himself with a little box of cupcakes in hand, offering to give you the low down on the neighborhood. That visit turned into a full on gossip session, where you learned all you needed to know about the people nearby, including the sweetest one next door.
The two of you formed a strong bond, and you’d often hang out with him and his friends in your free time. That was a year ago, and in that time you had gotten to know Bucky incredibly well. He was the best guy and you were happy to call him your friend.
That’s all you were for a while, just friends. You knew he dated a lot, hell you’d seen enough to know that for sure. And you dated a bit too, hoping to find the right person for you.
Unfortunately, it felt less and less likely the more you tried.
Every man you gave a chance took the opportunity to hurt you. Every time you bravely opened your heart, someone unworthy of you would weasel his way in only to shatter it from the inside.
You made the choice to put an end to the cycle; you didn’t need love. But just because you didn’t need it, doesn’t mean you didn’t want it. From time to time, you would see things that would make you long for a different reality.
Couples walking hand in hand, smiling at one another. Girls getting flowers from the boys that loved them. And having someone to do life’s simplest things with, like getting a cup of coffee sounded so wonderful.
It wasn’t the grand romantic gestures you longed for; no, it was the soft comfort that came with loving and being loved. To walk through life knowing someone loved you just as much as you loved them. Yet while you tried to let that longing fade, the hopeless romantic inside still wanted it.
Undoubtedly, love was quite the notion. But if it was so significant and worthwhile, then why did it feel impossible to find?
Nobody complemented you the way you wanted, and as hard as you tried, it felt like a pointless endeavor.
After one more boring night with yet another incompatible guy, you found yourself at Bucky’s doorstep.
He opened the door and in a rare act of bravery you flung your arms around his neck and kissed him; forgetting that he was your friend and seeing him for the man that he was. He reciprocated immediately, wrapping his big strong arms around your body.
His touch, his lips, and everything in that moment felt divine. You melted into him, and he held you against his muscular chest tightly, as if he was afraid you’d disappear.
“Just one night, please?” you whispered against his lips.
He nodded his head as he looked down at you with dark and dilated pupils. After shutting the door he was on you, picking you up as if you weighed nothing, and carrying you to his bedroom where the two of you shared one of the best nights of your collective lives.
┈┈┈┈┈・・
That was months ago, and now you and Bucky were in a weird situation because one night turned into countless nights ever since.
He claimed he wanted you, but you weren’t so sure. If his prior reputation meant anything, then you knew you were making the right call.
He never had relationships in the past, and you weren’t willing to open your heart up to someone that couldn’t be serious about you.
That’s how you fell into this arrangement. You’d fall into bed with Bucky then pretend it didn’t mean anything right after. It was easier to rationalize and continue on if you kept your feelings out of it. That’s what guys always did to you, and you figured it was a good method to shield your own heart.
Bucky would often try to convince you there was something more, that you were his, but to protect yourself from pain you refrained from believing him. Doubts played on a loop in the back of your mind — if he’s never been serious about someone in the past, then why would it be any different now?
After one too many run-ins with his one night stands, you knew better. And while you hadn’t seen him with anyone else in a while, you thought it’d be best to err on the side of caution. Hearts were often foolish, and you felt it was best to watch over your own.
Lately though, Bucky was trying extra hard to make you see that he was all in for you.
Bucky: Hey, I’m at the store. Can I get you anything?”
You tried to hide the little smile that graced your lips whenever he texted you. Keeping sex and emotions separate was a lot easier in theory, but not so much in practice. Nevertheless, you tried to hide your feelings when you communicated with him — you didn’t want him to have power over you.
Y/N: Noo thanks.
Bucky: I’ll take that as ice cream and some candy because I see your favorites in the shape of hearts.
You were about to respond but then your phone buzzed again.
Bucky: Oh that reminds me, do you have a valentine this year?
Y/N: You don’t have to bring me anything, and no Bucky, I do not.
Bucky: In that case, will you be my valentine? I’m free on the 14th if you are.
Why did he have to be so adorable? Everything would be a lot easier if he wasn’t so damn cute.
Y/N: It’s a little early for that don’t you think?
Bucky: Why are the store’s already full of red and pink heart stuff if not to serve as a reminder that I should have a valentine then?
You giggled at his message and shook your head. Bucky was too much — a bit too sweet, and silly, and good to you. It didn’t make any sense.
Y/N: I’ll think about it. I’ve gotta keep my options open :P
┈┈┈┈┈・・
A knock on your door pulled you away from the book you were reading. You opened the door to find a flustered Bucky holding a giant red heart-shaped box of chocolate and a paper bag with what appeared to be ice cream among other things.
“Bucky, I told you I didn’t need anything,” you shook your head with a grin as you stepped aside to let him in.
“Well I needed an excuse to see you before our next appointment,” he said with a slight blush on his cheeks. After Steve overheard one of your more colorful scheduling conversations, you decided to refer to all your future hookups as appointments. Although, if it was up to him there would be no need for scheduling or code words because you belonged with him every night.
He walked over to your kitchen counter so that he could set all of his Valentine’s Day stuff down and put the ice cream in the fridge.
After he finished putting it away, he turned and met your gaze. “Be my valentine, please.”
“Bucky…” you crossed your arms as you looked down at your sock-clad feet. You didn’t want to hurt him.
“Why not? Why can’t I call you mine?”
He’d never asked that question before.
Bucky was always content to let you brush him off but now it seemed like he genuinely wanted to know.
You looked into his eyes and took a deep breath before deciding to tell him the partial truth.
“You don’t do love, you don’t do relationships, and I can’t let you into my heart if there’s no space for me in yours.”
The honest truth was that he already occupied a big part of your heart, but that felt far scarier to admit, so you didn’t.
Bucky’s eyes widened as he took in your words. That was not the response he anticipated. “You think I’m incapable of love?”
“No, I’m sure you could love somebody. I just, I know that’s not something you’ve done with others before. I’ve seen the girls on their way out, your reputation has always been as kind of a ladies man, Bucky. You know that.”
Bucky felt his heart break. He had no idea you felt that way. This whole time he thought you were teasing him whenever you turned him down. You were so good to him, and the intimate moments you shared always felt laced with something deeper and unspoken. He swallowed the lump in his throat, before muttering, “You’re right.”
You nodded your head, grateful that at least now he understood. “Do you still want to hang out, maybe watch a movie?”
“Um, actually, I’m not feeling very well. I uh, think I’m gonna head home.”
“Oh okay, well do you want me to make you something to eat or can I get you anything?” you asked, concerned about his sudden change in condition.
Bucky wouldn’t meet your eyeline, “No thanks, sweetheart. I’ll see you later.”
“Well thanks for the valentines stuff,” you said with a smile. “That was sweet of you.”
“You're welcome,” he said before turning to leave abruptly. That’s not normal.
“Buck, are you okay?” you grabbed his hand before he could walk away.
He gave you a halfhearted smile, “I’ll be fine. Bye Y/N,” and with that he turned and left.
That was weird. You knew that man, and he’d never acted so off. And as much as you pretended not to need it, you loved how he never left without kissing you goodbye. Maybe he was sick, although in the time that you’d known him he never got sick. You pondered on that as you sifted through the bag he left behind.
He bought all your favorite sweets and even got you a little brown bear that held a tiny heart. What a dork. You smiled as you took in his silly thoughtfulness, but then you caught a glimpse of the chocolate box and noticed that there was a red envelope attached to it.
Curious as to what Bucky could have written in it, you carefully pulled it off and opened it up.
The cover of the card had a little baby yoda holding a heart with the saying, “Baby, yoda one for me.”
Oh my goodness, Bucky.
You hesitantly opened the card to see his penmanship —
Hi angel,
I’m not great with words, but I wanted you to know that I’ve sure enjoyed all the time we’ve spent together these last couple of months. I know you think this is casual for me, like I know it might be for you. But as I walked through the store today I saw all these couples together doing the most mundane things, and I found myself wishing then that you were there with me too. I want to push the cart while we pick out fruit. I want to hold your hand whenever we go out. I want everything normal and simple with you, by my side.
I know I’m early with all the cheesy valentines stuff, and I promise to give you a more romantic Valentine’s Day if you’ll let me. But please know, I don’t want you to keep your options open.
Because you are the only option for me.
Love,
James Bucky Barnes
Tears welled in your eyes as you realized all the while you had been pushing Bucky away, he had been falling for you. All the times you tried to protect your heart from him, he was silently letting you into his. You misjudged him for how he was, and overlooked who he became for you.
Grabbing the little bear and your keys you quickly ran out of your door only to find Bucky outside leaning against his motorcycle quietly looking up at the sky.
Halting in your tracks, you stood still as you took in the striking man lost in rumination.
All you’d ever wanted was for someone to care for you, honestly and truly. A person you’d never have to second guess; because all life ever gave you was people to doubt. You chastised yourself for not realizing that you had found it in him.
“Hey,” you said.
Bucky blinked, coming back to the present moment. “Oh hey, I was just —,”
“I read the card,” you murmured.
“Uh um —,” He placed a hand behind his neck as he thought about how to explain that.
“Will you be my valentine?” you interjected as you held out the bear. “Even if we are a bit early.”
Bucky furrowed his brow, “Really?” he whispered as he reached out for the plushie.
“I’m sorry it took me so long,” you said as you stepped closer to him. “I was scared of opening myself up and getting hurt again — but I’m done pretending we’re anything less than what we are,” you said candidly.
Bucky’s breath hitched in his throat; here he was wishing to the stars for the girl he treasured to somehow feel the same way, and now there you stood.
”Oh yeah, and what are we?” he asked with a soft grin.
“A whole lot more than just friends.”
He set the bear down on his saddle and grabbed you by the waist. Pulling you into his arms as he looked into your beautiful eyes with an adorable smile on his lips. “I don’t want to hurt you, angel. All I’ve wanted for months now is just to call you mine,” he said as he cupped your cheek.
You leaned into his touch, feeling warm and grateful that your feelings were reciprocated. “I really am sorry, Buck. I —,”
“It’s okay, you have nothing to apologize for,” he said before gently kissing your forehead. Your eyes flickered up to meet his stormy-blue ones looking at you adoringly. “You are the one I’ve been waiting for and I’m happy to be here now.”
Your hand made its way to the back of his neck, “And you’re sure about this? You don’t think you’ll grow tired of me too fast?” you whispered softly. This was still new, and your head liked to give you doubts your heart knew were unwarranted.
He could feel your apprehension and he understood now that you were cautious — but he was more than determined to treat you with the love and unending devotion you deserved.
Bucky shook his head, incapable of keeping the grin off his face. “Believe me, I will never be tired of you,” he said sincerely, before his rough hands squeezed your hips and his lips collided with yours.
