When a foreign language is written, write it in foreign script.
When a foreign language is spoken, write it in Latin alphabet, thus, transcription.
Example:
They walked into the gloom of the mossy cavern and instantly saw what Larry meant by “something weird”. It was a dimly glowing word in some ancient script, written on the stone wall of the cave with elvenite, presumably. The symbols were the following:
“Strange,” Mey spoke, “Never have I seen anything like that, but I am certain we got where we were looking for.”
OR
“En-leird therd thei wer en-ei hegir?” The warrior woman spoke, pointing a sharp spear at the two. “Alexandritium,” Joseph thought to himself, looking at the copper-like metal the spade was made from.
“I... W-we don’t understand! We are just weary travelers!” Mikail said, stepping forward with his hands up. The woman only threatened to pierce him, so he jumped back.
“Ike leird en-ei hond, irds hegi!” She said with a tone or two louder. Both the men gulped, nervous from such an encounter.
I have a scene in a book I’m working on where my characters travel to a foreign land and only one of them speaks the language. In this scene the one who speaks the language is translating. I’m not quite sure how to pull it off without it being too choppy an using the foreign language too much (it’s a language I made up). I don’t want there just to be a whole lot of words that won’t make sense to the reader because this language doesn’t actually exist.
I suggest using italics when the character is speaking in the foreign language. If you don’t want to do that, you can use descriptors like “she switched back to (language)” or “he said in (language).”
Writing Tips - Incorporating a second language in dialogue.
So despite looking perfect when I posted - the formatting came out totally janky, so I'm trying again. Because without it all being correct, it doesn't make sense!
Loads of people want to include a few words, or sentences of a foreign language within their fic, and ask how it's done, particularly making sure their reader understands what's being said and that the formatting looks right. I've answered this a few times on Reddit now, so why not share it to a wider audience?
Just to be clear I am not an expert, this is simply what I do and what works for me. (But I also haven't had any complaints, so it can't be that bad.)
Within my fics, it is canon that some of my characters can speak multiple languages, and one in particular often reverts to her mother tongue in times of frustration or to use affectionate terms for her partner. So trying to work out how to include foreign languages in dialogue is something I do in a bunch of different ways.
How I work dialogue in alternate languages below the jump. ↓ ↓ ↓
The first thing to consider is who understands this foreign language? Are you providing information to your readers only, or do your characters need a translation too? If your POV character understands the language you can usually get away with just writing in English, but pointing out it's being spoken in something different. For example:
When he arrived home that evening, Jake could hear Carol's voice from the kitchen. Listening a little closer, he realised she was speaking French, which meant it was her mother on the line... again. As he joined her in the room, it became clear that Carol was once again playing the role of IT support.
"No, mum. Double click does not mean using both buttons at once it means... oh never mind, I'll come tomorrow and fix it. Just stop touching the computer!"
Alternately, if your character only has a partial understanding of the language, you might write it more like this:
When he arrived home that evening, Jake could hear Carol's voice from the kitchen. Listening a little closer, he realised she was speaking French, which meant it was her mother on the line... again. Carol sounded exasperated, and as he joined her he caught the words computer, and stop... oh good, more technical issues.
However, if your characters do not understand the language, they're only going to hear sounds, not words, and this is where writing the language into your dialogue comes in.
Your first option...
Dodge it entirely: My character speaks Hebrew, so while I can often find a translation in Hebrew characters, I cannot find a proper translation into the Latin alphabet, so in those cases, I will avoid actually including the words themselves.
At one point she yelled at them all to shut up, and echoed the sentiment in Hebrew, even though none one was talking at all.
Or (to play off the partial understanding of the language)
She pulled back with a gasp and whispered something in Hebrew he couldn't catch, although he was fairly sure miracle was one of the words.
But if you're really keen (and have that translation available) you've got a few ways to incorporate it. I have no idea if there's a standard format, but I always italicise the words that are not in English.
Have the translation included in dialogue: This is usually by the character who speaks the foreign language but can play off another character if they happen to know the word (particularly if they like showing off!) In this case, both examples are used. She provides the first translation, and he answers with the second.
"But I think of him as Abba, father. And as for you, ahuvi..."
"I know that one," Tony added proudly. "It means my love."
Have another character foreshadow/preempt what they're going to say: This can take the place of a prompt, or a question, but still points out what language is being spoken.
"Tony, place the ring on Ziva's finger and repeat after me, 'I am my beloved's, and my beloved is mine.'"
"Ani le-dodi ve-dodi li." The thin band slipped easily over Ziva's knuckle, and her eyes widened with surprise as Tony gave the Hebrew translation.
Or
"Hey, what's the word for 'red' in Spanish again?"
"Rojo"
"Oh yeah, gracias."
Provide an immediate translation: This works best when it is a short phrase, and everyone else already knows what has been said. This one is more about making it clear to your readers.
"Oui bien sur, tout de suite." She smirked, crossing back to her chair. Yes of course, right away.
Provide a translation within the narration: It obviously depends on your narrative style, but it works for me as I use an omniscient narrator.
“Toda raba, achoti,” she said softly, pressing a kiss to Abby's forehead. Abby’s tired green eyes immediately filled with tears, they’d all picked up snippets of Hebrew since Ziva had joined the team, Abby and Tony learning the most, and neither one needed any translation to understand the heartfelt thank you very much, my sister, that Ziva had just bestowed on her.
And finally...
Don't translate it at all: There are few times I do this, the first being when I think the context is clear enough. (In the case of this quote, there are three people she has earlier called Larry, Moe and Curly, and there's still a translation in the AN - it means three btw!)
"I did not expect the shlosha Stooges to come barging in at 2am treating this like a casino break in."
This can also work when the exchange is a frequent one between the characters, particularly if it's also used in canon. (In this case, they're both saying goodnight in Italian and Hebrew.)
"Buona Notte, Sweet Cheeks," he whispered into the dark.
"Laila Tov, Hairy Butt," she replied sleepily.
Finally, when it is a big chunk of text and will interrupt the flow to have it translated, I don't. However, I still provide some context clues, so readers have a gist of what's being said, and leave a full translation in the author's notes.
"Ziva David, at ha'achat shechikiti la kol chayay. Ani rotse lehizdaken itach." The Hebrew was a little stilted, his pronunciation imperfect, but the meaning was clear enough.
"But we..." Tony shook his head, dropped to one knee, and continued.
"Ani ohev otah. Ani lo yachol ledamyen et chayay biladaikah. Hatin asheyi li?"
"We are already engaged?" Ziva tried again.
So although the readers don't know exactly what's being said, it's clear from Tony's actions, and Ziva's reply that he's proposing (again, apparently!)
And there you have it. All the ways I include dialogue in a foreign language within an English fanfic! Once again this is just what works for me, you might have something else that you like better!
But hey, if you find it useful, feel free to reblog and share with your friends too :)
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