this is mostly for my archive/organization but these are the song descriptions and answers from the hesitant alien quiz with their correct match if you’re interested
The Bureau:
Description- The world is purple-black stagelight darkness, the steady drumbeat ringer of your cellphone echoing in the enclosing corridor like a heart beating through the walls made of flesh. You can see red ahead, emergency lights beckoning you closer as you sweat panic. The roar of the crowd and the ringing of the phone all around you grows louder, becomes one in the same- you have no choice but to answer the call
Answer- What a wonderful beginning, a beautiful stepping stone. You are on the verge of some great change and it scares you how everything keeps moving forever and forever, on and on. But there are always constants if you look closely at yourself- hold on to the people you hold dear and the small things you love because there is love everywhere- in the creations, the steam of family recipes realized, the dial tones, and in between the pages of the bedside table books. Now that you've looked back, jump frequencies and step out into the sunshine of this new morning.
Action Cat:
Description- You're standing in a light red room, in front of an old television set with static moving across the screen. Suddenly, it rolls out of the box like high tide, surrounding you in the water-wave of pulse and sound. In the middle of the stream you hear a voice, barely heard over the rushing noise. You open your palm and feel the weigh of someone left behind. You open your mouth and you say sorry to the ghost reaching out. In response, the enveloping blanket of fuzz falls away like dominoes
Answer- A reconciliation through the fuzz. You are guilty of something, but don't know how to make up for it, how to patch together an adequate apology for the damage. Don't let your own desire to martyr yourself get in the way of telling the truth. Don't let the fear stop you from feeling love again. Don't let your desire to escape your past mistakes make you forget the good you found there. Reach out and gather beauty wherever you find it- because we all deserve it.
No Shows:
Description- The club is saturated in jolly rancher blues and the walls are shaking with the sound of the bass. Everything is muffled, even standing right next to the stage but when you're up behind that microphone it doesn't matter if no one can hear what you have to say as long as the feedback you hear float through your head is truthful. The walls close in until the only person you're playing for is yourself and your loved ones and the blue walls and here you find where you were meant to be
Answer- An ode to finding your place. In the past, you haven't really felt like you fit in anywhere, that there is no space meant for you to occupy. You've had to fight tooth and nail for what you have and some days you give up and stew in your loneliness. But life is not a jenga board, you are not a puzzle piece looking for a home. You already belong to yourself and you've already made space for the people who matter. There is a purpose in what you have, so find satisfaction here, in who you are and the things you have to share.
Brother:
Description- It's raining- heavy droplets and reflective lights. You shove your way backstage, through the alley door, and enter a revolving space of orange, green, and red like a tilt-a-whirl. But even when you feel like falling over and eating the thick, growing tedrals of the shag carpet, the room is too crowded and the arms of friends and lovers and strangers hold you up
Answer- A song about holding on to drowning hands. You are grasping at whoever will keep you from crashing again, tight white-knuckles digging into shoulders and purple bruised fingernails from the squeezing- violent touches that ground you in the crisp pains of reality you are lucky to have people that inspire such passion for living in your survival response. But you're scared they're going to fall into the same rock bottom you're crawling out of, that your hands are sinking ships pulling them down with you. This is not true- you should never be afraid to ask for help, should always keep a strong grip on the ones you love and you'll all have anchors in the storm.
Millions:
Description- The floor is cool blue metal and you are a passenger on it's surface. Everything is spinning and spinning and spinning- a dizzying kaleidoscope of bright, beautiful lights. But suddenly the lights burn and the surface boils and you break apart, frying in the wonderous sunshine
Answer- A goodbye letter mailed to the wreckage. You are afraid to stop the train car you've boarded, afraid that there is no way to take a different path while the engine runs out of fuel. It's ok to jump ship sometimes. It's ok to quit when the heavy weight of yourself cannot be dragged further. You are not beholden by anyone else but your own livelihood. Say goodbye to the life you lead and apologize later, because you can't be sorry if you're dead.
Zero Zero:
Description- You're in the street- the shatter-crackle of glass under your feet as you make your way through the hazy path of the nightlife the only sound. Everything is quiet but there are nameless faces all around you. They keep coming up to you, silent, passing trinkets and toys and bloody organs into your hands as small talk. You want to go home but the neon lights pull you closer like a tractor beam until you reach the back door of the club. The air is suffocating but the smog is the only oxygen your body is familar with. Maybe if you hold your breath you can turn back and escape
Answer- An accusation against the watchful eye. You are tired of the way people perceive you, are tug-of-warring between wanting the purity of old connections you had back and wanting anonymity moving forward. Fitting yourself into past puzzle pieces while you morph and change is a fool's errand. You can't resurrect the past exact, you can only walk away and hope to recreate yourself anew.
Juarez:
Description- The world rushes past you in a streak of purple-orange desert - in a van, on a train, running on two feet. It never stops, you never stop and you can't even look down at your hands- they're too blurry. You don't know who you are in this inbetween space but maybe you'll reach your destination soon
Answer- The road trip song for the self-journey. You are at a crossroads, your whole life laid out in many different paths and no clear direction where to go. How can you decide what's next when you don't know yourself when you can't recognize your own desires? Just know, if you run fast and far enough you'll burn away the costume graphed to your skin and find the truth lodged underneath your foggy epidermis. Just know that each stage in the process of metamorphosis is still valuable. Is still you. Do not turn back halfway through discovery.
Drugstore Perfume:
Description- Face pressed against the glass of a subway car. The outside is tinged pink, like the glass is tinted and everything you see is just slightly wrong. It's subtle and nauseating but your eyes have long since adjusted to the strain. You're just waiting for your stop to arrive
Answer- A quiet call for running away. You are either stuck somewhere you are trying desperately to escape from or you've already made tire tracks so deep they can still see the scars of your leaving. No matter the small amount of solace you've found here, there is a blood deep desire to take a chance on what could be- otherwise you'll suffocate on the fumes of hometown glory. Just remember the smell never washes out so it's ok to catch a whiff and find a moment of comfort. That doesn't mean you were wrong to get out.
Get the Gang Back Together:
Description- Smoky bars and billards rooms clouded in red and green lighting. There's the leftover remains of a high school reunion crowding inside, getting a drink and getting swallowed in the fuzzy sound of the live band. You can't hear what anyone says but you think everyone is staring at you with jewel-green eyes and wide smirks
Answer- An elegy to old towns, old friends, and older gossip. You are paranoid about the way other people see you, afraid of the judgment strangers whisper when you're not around. But the urge to get out is too strong, it leaves you with no time to explain yourself. Sometimes, you have to craft the perfect alibi for your own disappearance. Do not allow yourself to be bogged down by falsehood, embrace the half-truths told about you in the dark. Become the boogeyman in other people's stories- it won't matter when you're free. After all, the only people who know the truth are the ones leaving too- hold onto that.
How It’s Going to Be:
Description- The figure of Puff the Magic Dragon flying through bright blue skies, weaving between flying pirate ships and landing on smooth, green hillsides
Answer- A storyteller's guide to getting up. You are a fairytale crafter, a person with stories leaking out of your head but you've always waited for early detonation. You'll give the world everything stop-blocking the flow and let the river-water drown you. You just didn't notice you grew gills along the way. Life is not easy when you can't control your own endings. Living cannot be contained in chapter headings anymore and nothing is certain. But the love that keeps finding you is too big and too boring and too beautiful to be a fable. Embrace the spaces unmentioned, the path unknown to you, and live in the margins.
Maya the Psychic:
Description- Bright purple light flashing like a beacon in the nighttime sky is reflecting on the surface of speeding cars, giving off stardust and gold sparks that passerbys cannot see. You run out into the street, collecting the magic reminants before they disappear
Answer- Song interference as a telepathic embrace. You are a person plagued by your own brain, the incessant rattling of your own thoughts drowning everything out. You scare yourselves sometimes with the disruptions, feel too useless to operate your own internal hard drive. But do not be afraid, you are not a monster and you are not alone. There are scores of clairvoyants with feedback filling their heads. You can hear them if you focus. So tune into the good noise, find your frequency, and never fly back down to earth.
Television All the Time:
Description- A bright plastic barbie doll house with a sad little boy inside. He's watching the rain batter the windows and flood the living room
Answer- A track for the dreamers stuck in the illumination of the television set. You are caught between what you want and what the world has placed just out of reach, dissatisfied with the imitation life you've tripped blindly into. Sometimes leaving is the only way to take back control. Sometimes falling on your face is the only way to feel anything but the empty fog. Sometimes real freedom is admitting you're not happy. There are good things all around you if you open your eyes, don't miss them because your eyes are trained on a mirage.
