hi everyone! i’m currently staying off tumblr, but i thought a writing update would be appreciated before i log off.
i’ve finished the first draft of ch23 of we all bleed red so i’m aiming to be done with ch24 this month and then start posting in June, hopefully
my Levi x F!Reader x Erwin royalty two-shot is finished (yes the one i hinted at a year ago lol) - rated E for obvious reasons :p it’ll be up in May most probably!
finally, i’ve decided to take a break from we mourned the sea - truthfully, i’ve struggled with my writing for this story and i think i need some distance from it for now... apologies to anyone waiting on the next update. it'll be another while before i have the next chapter to give you.
and if you’ve made it this far in my yapping session, well, thank you! i hope to have more to share when i’m back and to be in a better headspace to interact, but until then, may the time ahead treat you all kindly. take care <3
sighs. this one has really gotten away from me folks. have a writing update lmfao
"Better," Prometheus praised, thumb brushing tenderly against the bone of his jaw. "Do you want to know what I see?"
Zeus leaned back, away from the water's edge, body colliding with the strong, warm frame of Prometheus behind him: closer than Zeus had anticipated. The heat travelled through his thin clothes, earning another shudder up his spine. Prometheus did not pull away.
"I suppose you'll tell me either way," Zeus teased, tilting his head just so; until his nose made contact with the jut of Prometheus' chin and scratchy beard. The titan's red hair tickled the side of his cheek.
Prometheus made a noise in his throat, annoyance apparent. Zeus always seemed to drive him crazy, but it never mattered in the end. Prometheus always found a way to forgive him.
a recent conversation with a good friend made me realize: holy shit, i struggle to acknowledge my accomplishments, especially the creative ones. so i decided to start doing a yearly writing recap to log what work i've done, contextualize the environment i did that work in, and take a moment to just sit back and appreciate how i spent my year. this is the first time i'm doing this, so i'll be combining 2021 and 2022.
in 2021, i...
...got headfucked by illness, but kept writing.
this is not one of those "inspirational disability" things. long covid is the worst thing that's ever happened to me, physically and mentally, and that's saying something. i spent a solid two months not being able to walk, let alone think, and it took three more months for me to be able to read for longer than a few minutes at a time. at one point, my sixty-something year old mother had to hold me up so i could walk a lap around the block that i had been running months prior, and it was a super dark time. i am proud of myself for fighting for my health, advocating for humane treatment, and re-learning how to find solace and comfort and reprieve in reading and writing. i was recuperating in bed most of 2021 (when i wasn't struggling to keep my job lol) so i had a lot of time to come up with project ideas but zero stamina to finish them. i'm still not recovered, and have new chronic illnesses out the wazoo now, but i'm in a much better place these days.
...worked on 21 scripts.
includes new and old projects. my brain was scattered, but i tried.
...developed 12 new project premises.
some are good, others are dogshit. but who cares!
...finished 5 scripts.
three half-hour scripts, and two elevens. combined, that's almost two episodes of prestige television. i'm coming for your ass, tony gilroy!!!
...read 25 books.
comic books, ya novels, non-fiction, autobiographies, picture books; you name it, i read it. most of what i read went in one ear and out the other because of the covid brain damage, but i remember how soothing the act of reading a book while curled up with hot tea under a warm blanket was to my aching brain and body, and i'm glad i tried my best to read even if i knew i could barely understand. a third of this list is picture books and/or middle grade books and graphic novels because that's all i could handle at the beginning of the year. and you know what i found? a lot of those kids books are great, and heart-warming, and delightfully more nuanced than i had ever dreamed. the kids are gonna be alright.
...took 6 writing classes.
i'm glad i did this, but looking back on it this was kind of stupid. my brain was burdened by illness and my response was to... burden it more? for fun??? insane behavior. i highly recommend every course i took (chris amick's pilot development, multiple classes at writing pad, rad sechrist's project tv writing class, patricia villanuvella's 11-minute episode format class, and more) but i do not recommend taking them while your head is fucked. if anyone is interested in learning more about these courses, let me know!
...took on my first pitch project.
i was hired to help write and pitch a kids show, and learned a lot about the pitching process. mostly i learned that an upbeat attitude and a corny joke or two will go a long way. also, that the tv industry is an ouroboric cesspool constantly feeding on its own shit, but i digress.
...developed my first original show pitch.
it's uglier than sin but i love it. developing the pitch actually made me realize the concept is better as a novel series than a show, but i appreciate how much that process taught me about exploring format, structure, and the art of pitching.
...landed my first staff writing gig.
this was my proudest moment. in between numerous ER visits, doctor's appointments, health scares, housing issues, and more, i broke into the industry i love.
in 2022, i...
...was still pretty fucking sick, but doing better.
title says it all. despite losing my emotional support animal to leukemia, i hung in there. feels good.
...took on three writing mentees.
this is still the most shocking thing i did last year. i became a mentor to three fellow brown folks and i love them all dearly. i don't know if i'm a stellar mentor or anything, but i would do just about anything to help them reach their writing goals. i always thought i hated teaching, but it turns out i really enjoy working one-on-one with people as a guide rather than an instructor. my goal is to help all of my mentees break into their respective industries in the next two years.
...took three writing classes.
at this point i'm mostly taking these to meet people and learn new tips and tricks, but i still found them highly rewarding. plus, i realized i work best when i know someone expects to read what i've written the following week. nothing makes you keep a writing deadline like the pain of disappointing a peer! :D
...wrote 63,207 words for work.
i worked two staff writer gigs and seven freelance or contract gigs, and wrote more in a year than i ever have, ever. i know this number isn't high to prose writers, but a 25 page script is around 4,800 to 5,000 words. that's a lot of pages.
in total, i wrote around 22 scripts for work last year.
...wrote 50,018 words for original projects.
i only finished three scripts, and most definitely did not hit my goal of finishing my feature script, but i still finished. all three projects were complex, adult-oriented, and of personal significance to me, and it felt really good to finally finish them. i don't love all of them, honestly, but one of them got me my current manager and generated some buzz around my name that kept me employed, so i'm incredibly appreciative of the work i put into them, and the work they've given me in return.
...read 50 books.
this is my crowning achievement of 2022! i used to be an avid reader and then stopped out of nowhere for several years, but last year i fell back in love with reading, big time. i am proud to say that after a year of re-cultivating my reading comprehension and attention span, i can once again knock out a 300 page book in a day (with some assistance from my good ol' friend, hyperfixation). coaxing myself to just read five pages a day really helped me with some of the executive function issues of not wanting to pick up a book. if you're struggling with reading habits, i really recommend lowering your bar to entry. read for a minute, or read one page, or even just one paragraph. eventually the habit will reform and you'll be back to reading longer.
...wrote 51 loglines.
i struggled to come up with new, creative ideas in 2021, so this jump from 12 to 51 was startling, but highly satisfying. once i stopped worrying about whether the ideas were good, i was able to do more with the freeness that comes with happily being shit at something. and you know what? once i got the shit ideas out, i found a couple of really good ones at the bottom of the barrel.
...had a pretty alright year.
shit still went sideways, i was overworked and exhausted, and my personal life imploded, but looking back on it, i had a lot to be grateful for, and a lot of love and support in my corner, and i'm going to try to be mindful and thankful for the aforementioned as i push myself a teensy bit further in 2023.
...have a few goals for 2023.
they are:
work less, read more
write more indulgent stuff (gay porn, fic, all the nasty dark shit i like)
eat more veggies
do some fucking wrist exercises and get a desk pedaler because holy shit my joints are aging like MILK
I am just not in the right headspace to write this and do the story the justice it deserves. So until things calm down, I am pressing pause on it. I will finish it, but not with everything going on right now.
On the positive, I am going to open up requests this week. I will announce in a separate post. I am still writing.
Thank you to everyone for understanding. You have no idea how difficult a decision it was to pause the story. I am so in love with where the story is going to go but I just can’t right now. I am sorry.
“You put on an impressive show,” Cronus hummed, slotting himself against the doorframe.
Poseidon glanced up from his things, brows raised in surprise. His expression soured the second their gazes locked, once again showing every ounce of displeasure like a new mask on his face. “What are you doing here?”
being back at work has given me the brain worms like you would not BELIEVE
“What do you think?” Hera asked when Zeus glanced back towards her, a smirk tugging at her lips. “Another three hundred years?”
Zeus snorted. “We’re much older and a little less spry. I don’t think my hips could take it.”
lmaooo have a tiny snippet while i work on this <3
Take this ask as a chance to ramble about your Titanomachy novel project, id like to read some fun facts of it 👀
Like, what changes you did compared to the OG myths and why and that kind of stuff, or whatever you want to ramble about
hahaha thank you! i've put a lot of work into this novel so far, but i honestly have a very long way to go. i've got about 75000 words completed for the first draft, with a lot more in the works. the thing about it is i'm constantly learning new things about myth, about the gods, about history and culture, so i have to constantly revamp and adapt. that being said, i'll tell you about what i've been working on!
i'm really focusing on zeus in this story, which honestly feels like a bold choice in the climate that currently exists surrounding mythology. but this novel genuinely is more a story about zeus than it is about the titanomachy - that's really just the playground it's taking place in. the story is from zeus' perspective, with the exception of a chapter dedicated to each of his siblings and one to metis. i really want to explore the making and shaping of the king we know, and explore the complexities in his upbringing and circumstances as he navigates becoming a leader.
naturally, though, there is a focus on sibling relationships and the effects of war, even on gods!
i don't really know that i've changed anything significant - given the fact that we don't know much about the titanomachy in the first place. i've definitely elaborated and inserted a lot of my own speculations. the personality of many figures, for example, is entirely unknown. with the exception of a few, the titans are known mostly in name, so i've had to assign them personality.
i think maybe the biggest change is portraying this not as some easy victory achieved by blasting lightning or wielding a trident, but through hard won battles, political maneuvering, and the importance of alliance. zeus wins because he has strength, wisdom, and compassion, not just a powerful lightning bolt. the gods also begin their journey in squalor, so to speak. they are living in tents in the woods under gaia's protection until the cyclopes and hekatonkeires build the palace of olympus for them, so it's a very "underground" resistance, so to speak.
the children of styx also feature quite heavily in this novel! kratos, bia, zelos, and nike train zeus and the other gods in matters of combat, and are their most loyal allies from the beginning. metis plays a very important role throughout all of this as well, teaching zeus much about the world, and taking on a rather protective role over his siblings while rhea is out of the picture during the earliest days of the war. her relationship with zeus is also featured heavily in the novel, and while very sweet, is... pretty obviously a complicated dynamic. zeus is unhealthily dependent on her, which is part of what leads to their downfall. i also headcanon them as being married until after the titanomachy, though not by a very large margin.
each of the siblings face down titans in their own way, but i had a lot of fun playing around with how that plays out. some through battle and brute force, others through trickery, even some through kindness. there are elements of other romances in the story, as well as a bit of "coming of age" as each of them learns how to be a god. that's actually another feature - their powers have to be learned. they are not necessarily innate.
i'll leave it there before i start rambling too much. each of the other gods has an arc as well, but my focus is on zeus in this story! in the meantime, while i slowly work on this project, have some snippets:
Chapter 16:
“I cannot allow this.” Zeus finally found his voice, the words he spoke thick with conviction. They nearly caught in his throat, and with great force, he pushed them out. Hestia’s head snapped towards him, eyes narrowing a fraction. Chills ran down the length of his spine.
“Hekate… How many doses of this potion do you have?” She asked. There was a sharp edge to her tone, mildly threatening and so unlike the Hestia they were accustomed to.
Hekate smirked. “Three or four, I would guess.”
“And how long does it last?”
“At best? Twelve hours. At its worst, six.”
“Good.”
Without any hesitation, Hestia approached the pot and dunked the ladle deep into the red liquid. She brought it to her lips, and before anyone could stop her, downed the drink in one solid gulp. Around her, the group was in various positions of standing, some half-risen and others only a few feet away from her. All were dumbfounded, unable to believe that Hestia had swindled them so simply. Silence followed her stunt, nearly a dozen pairs of eyes trained solely on her. Zeus’s mouth fell open. He had never expected something so bold from their demure older sister.
“I am going to be the one to face Coeus,” Hestia commanded.
and
Chapter 18:
“I think you made the right decision, brother,” Hestia said softly.
“You should have tossed them in after Coeus,” Poseidon spat. “I do not care what she did; they will not forgive us for what we have done when they come to their senses.”
“If we condemn everyone for the sins of their father, we are just as guilty as they are!” Hestia retorted, arms folding across her chest.
“We did not sit comfortably in our father’s palace while he committed his tyranny, Hestia!” Poseidon cried back.
“From the sounds of it, neither did they!”
“We once benefitted from our father’s worst actions,” Prometheus reminded them, leaning against an incomplete column several paces away. “We changed, but we needed your forgiveness before we could do good. How can we expect them to change if we do not give them the chance?”
