#writingaboutkitten

[mrjcb]

Yeah, yeah. You’re a Princess. Now open your mouth.

[mrjcb]

Getting a house key is a big deal for girls, huh?

I had been planning on giving Kitten a key to my house, and one day when she had to go to my house without me to pick something up, it was the perfect time.

I said "Use this," and took the key off of my key-ring and gave it to her.

She said, "Okay, where do I put it when I leave so you can get inside?"

And I was like, "What?"

"Where should I leave it?" she asked. And I said, "Uhh, I don't know, on your key-ring?"

And she said, "But then you can't get inside!" lolll

So I looked at her and took out my key-ring again and said, "Okay...this one is my key, see? And that one, that's your key. You keep that."

Lmao, and then the look on her face was amazing. Like, “Reallyy????” and she started to cry.

(This happened a long time ago but I was talking to a Tumblr friend about it and figured I’d post it since it was pretty hilarious how it happened.)

[mrjcb]

I just read your story ! So are you and kitten exclusive with each other, or do you see other people? Is it still a casual relationship?

Thanks for checking it out, I appreciate it. (Link to the story referenced above).

Short answer: We are exclusive and we have been ever since we started the 24-7 lifestyle D/s relationship. We had a poly stage but not much really happened outside of our relationship during it worth writing about.

Long answer:

Honestly, I feel like this new dynamic has saved and reinvigorated our relationship.

We were in love before and we always have been, but I’ve had relationship anxiety and wasn’t able to commit to her the way she wanted me to in the past because…

I haven’t written about this before and it’s kind of a deep dive: I feel like Kitten is two different people. On the outside she’s very outgoing and bubbly and happy, and I love that girl and we have a ton of fun together. We can call this her “exterior.” And this exterior, as happy as she seems in it, has always appeared to be broken to me. Like she’s holding something back and it’s a front and not genuinely who she is or who she wants to be.

But underneath – when she’s in subspace – she’s this totally different girl, and that’s really the girl that I’m in love with. It might sound esoteric or maybe it’s silly, but that’s how I feel. It feels like when she’s in subspace I’m finally seeing her for who she is in complete, vulnerable, encapsulating detail.

When she’s in subspace, her eyes change, her voice changes, the way she acts changes, the way she processes information changes.

And all throughout the years that we’ve been together, I’ve had very short glimpses of her submissive side and it’s been completely addicting to me. But I didn’t know how to “keep” her there. I probably sound crazy. But yeah, for years I would see glimpses of this submissive girl and I was madly in love with her, but I couldn’t keep this submissive side out. I didn’t understand it at all. I just knew that she was in there and she would show up in our most intimate moments but she’d be gone the next.

So that’s where the BDSM and D/s dynamic comes in. I feel like she’s able to be who she truly is, deep in her core, almost all of the time now. And I can see the difference. She’s more relaxed, she doesn’t get frustrated, she’s at peace and doesn’t have worries on her mind. She’s free. She’s able to let go of her problems and baggage that she’s been carrying around her entire life, and her emotional and psychological scars heal.

She’s been made whole. And I love it.

She’s always shown me who she is underneath, but – in hindsight – it was me who didn’t really understand what she needed in order to flourish and blossom. It’s like I could see this beautiful, beautiful flower but didn’t know how to water it. But now I do. And now I look at the garden around me and it’s just… breathtaking.

[mrjcb]

Kitten’s body jolted, waking both of us from our sleep. She must’ve been having a nightmare.

She sat up on her side looking a little disoriented, and I put my hand on the side of her stomach and asked, “You okay?”

She nodded shyly and I put my arm around her, gently pulling her back down onto the bed towards me, and I cuddled her up from behind with my arm around her stomach and chest.

But she wasn't ready to go back to sleep yet, and reached down to my arm, picked up my hand, and placed it gently around her neck. Only then did she slowly rest her head back down onto the pillow and fall back asleep.

I thought it was the most beautiful little thing in the world.

[mrjcb]

Punishments are for your own good.

Kitten and I had plans to go to the Zoo yesterday, but we were hanging out at her place before heading out. She was cleaning her house, mopping the floor, etc.

She was taking a long time so I gave her a deadline: I told her to be finished cleaning by 1:45 so she could change & we could leave at 2:00.

1:45 rolled around and I told her the time. She said, “Okay, I’ll change now.” and I went outside to make a phone call.

At 1:50 I came back inside and she was still cleaning her house. Unacceptable.

I sat her down on her bed and asked her why she was disobeying me. I was going to leave it at this little stern conversation, but she blew it off and said, “I’ll change now, I promise.”

I told her to sit back down. She did so, and looked at me. I didn’t say a word and went to the kitchen and came back with a water bottle. I handed it to Kitten and told her to drink it.

I turned on the TV and started watching something, and told her, “Tell me when you have to pee.”

10 minutes passed and she didn’t have to pee yet. I went and got another water bottle and gave it to her, and she drank half of it but couldn’t finish it. That’s okay. I told her again, “Tell me when you have to pee.”

About 5 minutes later she asked, “Can I use the bathroom please?” I said, “Sure,” and I followed her into the bathroom.

She asked me, “Are you... going to watch me?”

“Yes.”

The thought of me watching her pee was very humiliating for her. She pulled down her panties and was about to sit down on the toilet, but I told her “Wait. Not there,” and I pointed authoritatively with my finger at the floor. “Here.”

She said, “I’m sorry” and looked at me. I told her that I knew she was sorry, but I kept my finger pointed at the floor.

Kitten did as I instructed and squatted on the floor next to me and peed. Her urine puddled up underneath her, touching her feet. When she was done she stood up and was about to get toilet paper. I said, “Stop. You don’t get to clean anything right now. Not even yourself.” and I got some of the toilet paper and gently cleaned her between her legs. She was very humiliated and didn’t want to look at me while I was doing it.

After I was finished cleaning her up, she looked at me and said, “Thank you,” and I made her go into the bath and clean her feet while I was standing next to her urine puddle. When she was done I told her to change and get ready to go.

About 20 minutes later (or whenever the pee started to smell), I asked her if she had something to say to me. She said, “Next time I’ll listen.” I said, “Good girl, I forgive you.” and then I helped her clean her pee up (which was also very humiliating for her because she doesn’t want me smelling her mess, of course).

After that we went to the Zoo and had a wonderful time. Our favorite animal was the sloth and this camel that ate a billion pounds of hay right in front of us.