#wrong castles

[wrong-castles]

Oneway Castle

This Polish castle from the 1400s became the first royal residence to have electricity installed by Nikola Tesla and Thomas Edison. Edison and Tesla jousted in the courtyard to determine who would receive the credit. Edison cheated by replacing Tesla's steed with a sheep and jousting pole with a Styrofoam noodle just before the tournament. It is said that thr ghost of Tesla's crushed sheep still bleets angrily through he castle halls.

[wrong-castles]

Phoilhat Castle

Phoilhat Castle was originally built in Croatia, in the Thirteenth year of the fourteenth Century. The Castle had traditional shingles rooves until 1953, when the Earl of Yankerville felt it nevessary to top his personal tower with tinfoil, to stop the aliens from reading his mind.

His wife had her own tower likewise typed with foil. But their son didn't believe in such nonsense, and kept his chambers with a flat, nondescript roof.

In real life, I believe this set of buildings is a retirement home.

[wrong-castles]

Le Gough Castle

Le Gough Castle is the namesake of your favorite childhood toy, Legos. Sadly, the castle and family which originally bore the name have fallen into disrepair and boredom.

Legend has it that the family of French nobles built their castle on top of a fairy ring, after the teenaged prince took a leak in said fairy ring. This prince, Thundonian Le Gough, would find that he whizzed pure whiskey for the rest of his life, regardless of whether he'd ever actually drank any. All of his descendants shared his curse, and five generations later, the Le Gough Castle was known as a place of party animals where strange things occurred.

It was during a drunken Easter Egg hunt that the inebriated Lord Larry Le Gough invented the Legos. However, a mime servant left the Legos sitting around the floor, causing Lady Krumpett, the house matriarch, to step on one and cuss loudly enough to be heard all the way to Mongolia. Ghengis Khan, fearing the noise to be that of some beast, led his army across Eurasia and pelted Le Gough Castle with Benda Blocks.

The remains of Le Gough Castle stand today, joined to a beer factory.

[wrong-castles]

Van Dusen Castle

Built in Latvia in 1234 AD, at 12:34 pm, Van Dusen Castle was named after Count Vladimir Van Dusen, who never lived to see his commission completed. However, after becoming a vampire, the Count saw his project through to its completion, and was most satisfied with the result.

Since his original Catholic faith was not terribly tolerant of vampires in the 13th Century, Vlad Van -D (as his drinking buddies called him) converted to Buddhism, having been inspired by his travels with his lover Marco Polo. Vlad's coffin was kept in the highest room of the tallest tower.

In his garden, one cam see the small mini-tower where Vlad stored the blood of his enemies, and insurance salesmen that stopped by his castle. Gargoyle faucets squirted out the blood as needed.