you could feel the nerves coursing through your body, almost like your brain knew if you took it far just enough— something would come up that should stay kept in.
you adjust the wings to your fairy costume, but they stayed slanted to one side. letting out an exasperated sigh, you force yourself to be okay with the slightly off centered pixie wings. turning your body from side to side, you smile at your whimsical costume.
halloween was by far your favorite holiday of the year. the costumes, the parties, spooky themed menus at restaurants— all of it.
i’m here
wanda’s text message causes your stomach to flip. the hands holding your phone begin to dampen with sweat as you gather your purse and an extra pair of shoes.
you walk down the steps to wanda’s car with a wide grin, curious and eager to see what she’s dressed up as.
wanda, on the other hand, can’t help but groan internally at the getup you have on. she knew you’d choose something soft and girly of the sort— something so you.
your wings scrape softly against her leather passenger seat as you slide in, a giddy smile as you look up at her. your collarbone and shoulders are covered in body glitter and wanda glances down for a moment before she forces herself to look away.
her grip is tight on the steering wheel— self restraint with you has always been essential.
“are you my witch for the evening?”
wanda rolls her eyes, looking down the black cape she has on and the witch hat haphazardly thrown in the back. after much persuasion, really just you using puppy dog eyes on her, she agreed to dress up with you to go to a bar with some of the teaching staff.
looking down at her costume, really just black top and pants paired with a witch hat and cape, you giggle, “you clean up nicely.”
putting the car in drive, she scoffs, “and you look like you’re going to give me trouble tonight.”
the rest of the drive hums with unspoken words and exchanged glances when the other isn’t looking.
you smile to yourself as you watch the streetlights pass, enjoying the fall decorations put around the city. the easiness of the ride makes you forget that you were ever meant to be nervous.
wanda came around to your side before you even got the chance to open the door, as sweet as always. her eyes dip again before meeting your eyes and she attempts to hide her smile.
“wings still intact?” she asks, holding the door open for you.
“yes, ma’am.”
she nods and walks beside you towards the bar entrance, “good,”
her voice drops an octave as she speaks and you can’t help but wonder if there was a double meaning behind her response.
the air inside the bar is warm and noisy, laughter and the faint smell of cigarette smoke all around.
you spot your colleagues in a booth near the back half way through their second round of margaritas.
they greet you both with a cheer as you walk up to them. you move to sit in a chair near the end of the table before wanda guides you with a hand on your elbow to sit next to her in the booth.
compliments are thrown your way about your costume until a specific male coworker speaks up.
“you win the contest,” he says over his beer, “it’s dangerously good.”
you politely thank him with a nod and smile. from the corner of your eye, you can see wanda’s eyebrow arch just slightly. her gaze is fixed on him for a few moments more than needed, taking a sip of her water.
“dangerously good,” she mumbles lowly where no one can hear.
you glance at her but she doesn’t meet your gaze. the glass of water in her hand is much more interesting than anything else going on. nudging her softly with your shoulder, you silently ask if she’s okay to which she only smiles and nods.
after a few more rounds, someone brings a tray of shot glasses and everyone cheers.
“to surviving midterms,” someone yells.
everyone but wanda downs the shot. you’re already a bit flushed from the previous drinks you had , but down the shot in record time.
“easy,” wanda says from her seat next to you, “you’ll be mad at me if i have to take you home early.”
rolling your eyes, “i can handle one shot.”
her lips twitch and she shrugs, “we’ll see about that in ten minutes.”
someone orders another round and you can already feel the fuzziness starting to set in your system.
half an hour later, you’re laughing at something that wasn’t even funny. with your chin propped in your hand, you watch wanda with a smile on your face.
she shakes her head amusedly, “drink this.”
she slides her water over to you.
“you’re cute when you’re tipsy,” her voice is soft, almost like she’s talking to herself, “but you’ll thank me later if you pace yourself.”
when you take a sip, she gently brushes a strand of your hair behind your ear with a soft smile. it’s so casual that no one around bats an eye at the moment.
“you’re so bossy,” you take a sip from her water and she watches you with pure admiration.
“you like to be bossed around.”
your face warmed for reasons that had nothing to do with the alcohol.
music pulsed throughout the bar, the air thick with chatter, and you perched right next to the witch. you sat with a slightly inebriated smile on your face when you spot a pirate walk up to you in your peripheral.
you turned to find a woman dressed as captain hook smiling at you, hook resting on her hip, “what’s a pixie like you doing without her peter pan?”
wanda wanted to scoff at the woman from where she was sat, a tshh sound coming from her mouth. instead, she sat with her jaw clenched in silence as the woman tried to woo you over.
you laughed, a bit flustered, “retired from neverland. i don’t keep up with boys.”
the pirate smirked, holding her hand out for you to grab, “good thing i’m no boy. dance?”
her hand was held out to you, silently asking you to follow her. you glanced to wanda, slight hesitation in your posture. wanda only smiled at you and mouthed the words, go have fun.
following the pirate to the dance floor, wanda could only watch from her seat as the pirate held you close by your hip. she pretended to listen to the conversation going around her, but found herself glancing over to where you were far too often.
she sat with a forced smile as she watched you throw your head back in laughter when the pirate said something close to your ear.
when you come back, there is a grin on your face and wanda can see the flush on your cheeks. it almost physically pained her to see you smiling because of another woman.
“she seems nice,” she says monotonously, like she hadn’t practically watched you the whole time.
“she is,” you admit, dropping into the seat beside her, “she’s sweet, but she’s not my type.”
wanda tilts her head to the side a bit, eyebrows raised, “so what is your type?”
wanda knew she shouldn’t be fishing for an answer she knew she wouldn’t like, but she had some hope.
she can see the tipsy look on your face as you smile at her, “i like my women a bit older— witchier.”
it takes every ounce of wanda’s being to not allow her smile morph into something smug.
later on, when wanda is helping you put on your coat, she can’t help but laugh in your ear at how you cling to her. she holds you up when you stumble, her grip firm but gentle as she holds you.
“i told you so,” she says, “just a few minutes.”
you mumble, “you’re terrible.”
she hums, “and i’m here taking you home.”
the night air is cooler than you’d anticipated and wanda’s hand has not left your hip since you two stepped out of the bar.
“easy,” she slows down her pace to ensure you can keep up, “don’t fall.”
glancing up at her, “you’re so bossy.”
she laughs, and for a few moments you swear you can swear she’s looking at you like she’s afraid you’ll disappear if she blinks. she opens her car door for you and buckles you in with ease.
“let’s get you home, sunshine.”
by the time you two reach your apartment building, you’ve told her twice how much you love her laundry detergent and at least three times how much you love when she wears rings.
she hasn’t stopped smiling once, even though she tries to hide it every time you almost catch her.
she gets you inside without a word and guides you to the couch. you sit down with a smile on your face, small giggles escaping from your lips as you sit back.
wanda brings you a glass of water and you take it from her hands, “thank you, baby.”
wanda, of course, heard it. her brow lifts slightly, but she refuses to point it out. she twirls a piece of your hair around her finger, relishing in the way you look up at her as she does so.
“you’re welcome, baby.”
she stays with you until you’re drowsy and nodding off. she covers you with a blanket, setting aside a water bottle and medicine on your coffee table. she brushes away down hair from your face, unable to keep herself from tracing the features of your face.
summary: homecoming week brings out the best in people sometimes
minors do not interact
the first semester felt nothing like last year’s first semester. you had a new confidence about yourself, something secure. or maybe it’s something to do with the teacher next door.
homecoming, without a doubt, is your favorite part of the school year. watching kids dress up for a week, seeing them get along for once when it came to grade level competition.
but your favorite part? matching outfits with your work best friend.
wanda walks in forty minutes before school begins, a scowl on her face as she walks towards you, “you owe me big time, you know that?”
you grin widely, taking in the sight of her red lady bug wings and her black and red polka dot shirt, “have i ever told you how much i appreciate you?”
your voice is higher pitched, sickeningly sweet, with your head tilted upwards towards her. your black and yellow striped shirt and yellow wings cause wanda’s scowl to form into an amused smile, her dimple showing and eyes twinkling.
the two of you stand there for a second, silently laughing at the other’s bug costume.
wanda rolls her eyes at your statement, pushing past you to go into your classroom, “you can show your appreciation by making me that banana pudding you made me a few weeks ago.”
you follow after her, silently nodding even though she couldn’t see you, “your wish is my command.”
she sets her coffee cup on the table without asking, like she’s done this hundreds of times before.
she perches herself atop your desk, sitting like she owns your classroom, “in all honesty, these wings are safety hazards. i’ve already hit them on three door frames already.”
you stifle a laugh, wanda’s eyes gazing on the dimple that forms on your right cheek, “you look cute though.”
wanda raises an eyebrow, head tilting to the left just in the slightest, “you’re just saying that because we’re wearing a duo costume.”
you nod guiltily and shrug your shoulders, “you’re the one who agreed with very little persuasion.”
she rolls her eyes in response, kicking your shin, “you stared up at me with puppy dog eyes. how else am i supposed to say no to that?”
her words catch you off guard and you try your best to ignore the way they make your heart swell.
her eyes flicker to your wings, motioning for you to get closer to her with her index finger, “come here, they’re crooked.”
you stand up almost immediately and turn around in front of wanda as she sits on your desk behind you.
she adjusts the straps carefully, her fingers following the slope of your shoulder. she is soft and careful as she straightens your wings— you swear the air in the room shifts just a bit.
you wonder if she feels it too, whatever this is.
quietly, almost barely above a whisper, “there you go.”
you turn around to thank wanda right where you are, not bothering to step forward to make space between you two.
you open your mouth to thank her, then the door opens and one of your students walks in.
he freezes at the sight of the two of you— not because of the close distance between you to, but because of your costumes.
his eyebrows furrow together, nose scrunched, “my god, are you two… a couple of bugs or, like, a bug couple?”
you slowly inch away from wanda, unsure of how it looks like from where the boy is standing, “it’s called team spirit, actually.”
both you and wanda exchange a look.
the student shakes his head, confused, and walks to his seat butting something about ‘the married teachers are being weird again.’
you grown, throwing your head back, then looking at wanda with a slight pout, “why do so many people think we’re married?”
wanda watches you throw your head back in exasperation, a grin on her face as you do so, “maybe we just give married energy.”
she says it so casually, almost as if it’s something everyone says— but the silence that follows after is heavy and neither of you know how to break it.
wanda clears her throat and stands up from your desk, walking over to the mini fridge you have next to your desk. she takes a water and a pack of oreos like she owns the place.
she begins to walking out of your classroom before she turns back to you with a grin, “make sure you bring me my banana pudding tonight, and none of that store bought stuff. i want it homemade.”
and with that, she leaves and you’re left standing with a smile on your face.
because what else is there to do when you’re hopelessly crushing on your co-worker.
the day goes on and you deal with a few students teasing you about your duo costume with the teacher next door.
later that morning, the school set up a spirit week photo booth in the cafeteria. teachers are encouraged, more so gently forced, to take pictures with their coworkers to boost team morale.
of course, as expected, someone roped both you and wanda into taking a picture together— because you two are known as the duo.
wanda hesitated slightly, not used to being this close to you in front it others. nonetheless, your dimpled smile plants her in front of the camera with you by her side.
when the both of you pose, wanda’s arm finds it way around you casually, and the table a few feet away from you erupts in a small, ‘awww!’
wanda groans while you playfully swat her side, “behave, maximoff.”
the camera flashes. the two of you glance at each other and laugh, but then it trails off and you are now aware of how close you two are standing.
the camera clicks again as you two are looking at each other with easy smiles.
the third one lingers— the two of you looking at each other, wanda’s right hand on the small of your back and your right hand on her shoulder.
the flash goes off.
her smile falters for a moment and it’s enough to snap you out of your skin. you clear your throat and take a step back, but wanda’s hand lingers until you are no longer in her reach.
the photo strip is handed to wanda and she stares at it for a second too long.
you look at the photo in wanda’s hand with a giddy smile, “we’re kind of adorable.”
wanda nods, eyes not straying from the photo, “yeah, we really are.”
you look up at her, heart skipping— but before you can say anything, she places the picture in her back pocket and grabs her water bottle from the table.
“don’t forget to make my pudding.”
and just like that, the moment is gone— but not forgotten.
a/n: first part of dirty cash!! i finished this early december but i was so nervous to post it but i don’t want to keep yall waiting any longer. i hope yall like it!
dirty cash masterlist
next part
minors do not interact
looking over at your friend, you give her a glare as you watch her mingle with some potential business partners. being dragged to a fundraising banquet as your friend’s plus one was a way you did not want to spend your saturday evening. especially a night that is full of rich privileged people— a place that you surely don’t feel you belong.
“but you owe me from when you needed me to bail you out of that date a few weeks ago, remember?” was what she told you— and it was true.
the said date went downhill in record time, not even lasting a full thirty minutes before you had your friend call with a fake emergency. your date continuously went on and on about the state of the economy and how people should be investing in stocks to grow wealth rather than focusing on a day job.
needless to say, your friend pulled through and gave an overly convincing act to get you out of there quickly.
your friend is now immersed in a discussion with a man in a suit, probably trying to win him over in hopes to find an investor for her small business. you slip away quietly and let her work her charm.
walking around the banquet hall, you admire the decorations and the ambiance, something you’re not used to being around. you watch as women walk around in either suits or beautiful dresses, you can’t help but admire and feel a little out of place. you’re not used to the flashy life that the people here live— you’ve never had the ample opportunities that the people in this room have had. feeling a sense of jealousy and insecurity run through your veins, you try to snap out of it. it’s not healthy and you know it, but you can’t help but wish you’d be in their shoes.
sighing softly to yourself, you you find a vacant seat at the open bar and order a drink while you people watch. you can hear the live music playing, the chatter of everyone’s conversations, clinking of champagne glasses, the expensive laughter.
imagining your life in their shoes while you nurse your cocktail is how you spend the next few minutes occupying your time.
“is it any good?” you hear a smooth, confident voice ask beside you.
glancing over, you’re met with a dark haired woman with captivating green eyes smiling at you— the kind that disarms you before you even realize it. you smile back and shrug a bit, “it’s a drink. i needed one.”
you joke, now looking over at her well tailored suit and dark makeup. she’s beautiful.
chuckling subtly, “i’d ask you how your night is going, but based off of that sentence— i think i know how it’s going so far. i’m wanda, it’s nice to meet you.” she puts her hand out for a handshake, the glint in her eyes showing her amusement in the introduction.
her hand is warm when you shake it and you can smell a hint of expensive perfume as she gets closer to you to sit in the seat next to you. she speaks with confidence and an alluring charm.
you introduce yourself and laugh, “i didn’t mean any bad by it, it’s just not my.. environment,” you gesture to the crowd around you, “the rich pretentious crowd, it all seems fake to me. dressing up in your finest jewels just to fake altruistic behavior.. it’s not real to me.”
perhaps the drink was already getting to you. maybe that’s the reason you’re letting out a word spill to the beautiful woman who just wanted to know if your paloma was good.
or maybe it’s the way she giggled along with a small nod of her head as you spoke your mind. either way, she wasn’t put off by your tangent. in fact, she continued to sit with you and entertained your preferred topic of discussion for the next few minutes.
wanda watches you with an amused smile on her face. her eyes linger a bit longer on your lips longer than they should.
“fake altruism, huh? what would make it real?” she asks, with a small tilt of her head. her eyes squint the tiniest bit, her grin showing genuine interest. her voice is inquisitive, almost like she’s trying to probe you for something.
had you gone too far? you hesitate to respond, realizing you’ve possibly offended her— wondering if you’ve crossed a line. instead, wanda’s smiling and leaning into you as she wants to hear more.
noticing your slight hesitation, “you know, not a lot of people have the guts to say that. i really like it,” she chuckles softly. wanda looks over your features with a small smile as you move on to talk animatedly about your line of work. she’s enamored by how you’re wearing your emotions on your sleeve— something she struggles with.
you catch yourself, “i’m so sorry, wanda. i’ve been talking at you this whole time.” you inwardly cringe at how you’ve been holding her up with your rambling.
she shakes her head and puts her whiskey down on the bar gently, “no, please, i’m enjoying you. this is quite possibly the most entertainment i’ve had all night so far.” she puts a comforting hand on your forearm that’s resting on the bar in a comforting approach, she’s giving you a genuine smile. her gesture lasts a second too long, her gaze feeling a bit more personal than it needs to be.
“what are you here for?” you shake your head and change the subject to her, wanting to know more about her and why she’s still here wanting to be with you.
her eyes flicker towards the crowd and she hesitates for a moment, almost debating whether or not to be honest with you, “i’m just here for work, requirement by the job.” she shrugs and avoids eye contact, switching the subject back to you. she plays with the rim of her cup, not quite giving you her undivided attention like she just was.
weird.
you don’t spend too much time on it, not wanting to push her away. “i’m here for my friend. she recently started a new business and is hoping to find an investor here, make a good connection.”
you tell her as you gesture to your friend who’s now moved onto her next target of the night. she’s speaking with a woman this time, half interested in what she’s talking about.
wanda nods and follows to where your gesturing, “hm, i’ll have to check her out later.”
you two laugh and talk about different topics over the next ten minutes— ambitions you two have, where you two went to school, where you want to travel. the conversation is lighthearted but the both of you are enjoying the other’s presence.
shaking her head with a laugh, “paris is overrated. you’ll spend more time in traffic than seeing the eiffel tower.”
she watches your expression with a teasing smirk as she says this. she can tell paris is the one place you have always wanted to go to, but she wants to rile you up a bit. pure enjoyment is written on her face as she watched your face contort in mock and offense.
scoffing and looking at her with an incredulous glance, “so tell me where you’d recommend since you’re so well travelled.”
you place your chin in your hand as you await her response. your eyes are slightly glazed over and wanda can’t help but melt at the way the lights are reflecting in your eyes.
wanda grins at your tease, “vienna. no contest. it’s beautiful, and the pastries there will ruin everywhere else for you. you need to go if you ever find the opportunity.” she’s gazing at you intently as you take in her words, the way you’re nodding along to what’s she’s saying with genuine intrigue.
you are just about to respond right as a man taps her on the shoulder and says something under his breath that you can’t quite catch. he leans in with a hint of impatience and you can see how wanda’s posture goes rigid and her jaw tightens.
wanda grimaces and lets out an exasperated sigh, “i’m sorry. they’re calling me for work. i’ll try to find you after, okay? please don’t leave until i see you again. i’d hate to lose my best conversation of the night.”
she gets up from her chair and gives your shoulder a squeeze, lingering a bit longer than needed, her thumb brushes against your skin. she smiles at you warmly just before she takes off in the direction of the man.
you watch as she leaves, noticing how people look in her direction with a hint of awe as she walks past. it makes sense since she had you wrapped around her finger in such a short amount of time.
you leave the bar to find your friend, glancing in the direction wanda left with a love struck smile on your face.
you find her and ask how the networking went. she lets out a sigh of content, “i can’t believe i got to talk to so many people! i gave them all my buriness card and i hope they’ll get in contact with me sometime this week.”
you nod along as she speaks, but subtly looking around the room for any glimpse of the well dressed brunette who had you captivated as soon as she spoke to you.
“did you meet anyone? you’ve been cooped up at the bar all night,” your friend asks as she nudges your shoulder playful with a grin.
rolling your eyes, “actually, yeah. i was talking to a woman, she seems sweet.”
your friends eyes lighten up and she grabs your arm with a small squeal. you laugh at her excitement about your (potentially) blossoming love life. she has continuously tried to set you up on dates in the past, but it never works out.
you groan and cringe, “i know, i know, but remember that i just met her and we don’t even know if-“
your friend shushes you with a stern look, “stop, look! that’s the ceo, the one i told you about earlier i hope i can get in with. she sponsors and invests in a lot of companies and schools. if i can get in with her, it’s like winning the lottery.”
you furrow your eyebrows and turn around to face the stage she’s pointing you to. it takes you a second to find a gap to look in between the bodies in front of you.
and there she is— wanda. your wanda. only now, there she is smiling in all her glory, waving at the crowd that is now forming in front of the stage. the faintest smile on her lips as she gently waves to the crowd.
“oh my god,” your blood runs cold and you freeze in place. you look over at your friend with a terrified look, eyebrows pulling together and eyes wide.
heat rushes to your face and you begin to replay every word you’d said to her at the bar. did she think you were mocking her? your hands begins to clench in nervousness and you want the ground to swallow you whole.
you messed up.
your friend looks at you with a confused look, then pieces it together slowly as she gauges your facial expressions. “oh my god,” she grabs your arm, “oh my god!”
people around look at you two, some shushing you with judgemental looks on their faces. she giggles and mouths, ‘no way.’
she’s filled with excitement at the potential in, you’re filled with dread and embarrassment as you mule over the fact that you complained about this event to wanda. wanda maximoff, the ceo of maximoff industries— founder and organizer of the charity event you’re attending.
your face heats up in embarrassment and you try to hide behind your friend as wanda speaks.
“good evening, everyone,” she stands tall and poised, her voice steady and confident, “thank you all for being here tonight. together, we all share a common goal: to invest in the future by supporting the education of our children.”
you muffle out wanda’s words as you try your best to stand still and not make any sudden movement. maybe if you’ll suddenly become invisible if you stand still enough.
unbeknownst to you, wanda was trying her hardest to spot you in the crowd. unfortunately, the stage lights kept her from being able to clearly see beyond the podium.
you feel queasy and lightheaded as you quickly walk to the restroom. you lean against the sink and try to steady your breathing as much as you can. of course you would somehow offend a ceo at their own event.
you groan as you force yourself to suck up your ego and walk back out into the now booming crowd.
you try to keep a low profile as you walk parallel to the wall— the last thing you want is to offend someone else here.
“there you are,” wanda walks up to you with a two glasses of champagne in her hand. she hands one to you with a smile, “i thought you left me.”
you take the glass with a polite smile, then cringing inwardly as you remember your word vomit at the bar. “listen, wanda, i’m so sorry about what i said. the event is beautiful and i love what you’re doing for the community. it’s amazing, really.”
the words come out rushed and wanda can see a flush on your cheeks. she chuckles softly and shakes her head, “hey, you’re okay. it’s okay. i didn’t take any offense, in fact, i really admire your honesty. it’s rare that i get that nowadays. you really.. stood out tonight.”
you groan and avert your eyes from her. she looks you over and admires you silently. she wants to laugh at your now embarrassed demeanor, a stark contrast to your extroverted energy at the bar.
she realizes she’s been looking at you for too long , clearing her throat and bringing the champagne up to her lips. she looks over the rim at you, trying to be as subtle as possible. your side profile is illuminated by the string lights on the ceiling, your eyes twinkling a bit more than before. perhaps the alcohol now settling in your blood stream? or maybe the fact that wanda actively sought you out after her speech.
you turn to wanda with a small sigh, “are you sure you’re not offended?” you play with the bracelet on your left wrist to try and ground yourself. you feel horrible and uncomfortable in her presence now.
wanda placed a warm hand on your forearm with a gentle look, “i promise. i mean, maybe don’t write off an event before you know what it’s about. people can surprise you, you know?”
wanda’s voice is teasing but soft and comforting. her eyes show no sign of telling a lie and you let out a small laugh at the situation. wanda nudges you with her shoulder softly as she goes to stand next to you.
for a split second, you want to throw caution to the wind and get to know her. you want to ask personal questions— hope there’s something more there.
but you don’t get the chance to. the same man who pulled her away earlier is now speaking into her ear and you can see how irritated she quickly gets with what he’s saying. nodding at what he says, she turns to you with an apologetic look on her face.
“it was refreshing talking to you,” she wants to say more, wants to offer to get you another drink— but she can’t, “take care of yourself, okay?”
and just like that, she’s gone into the crowd. maybe this wasn’t meant to continue on past tonight. maybe meeting wanda was just meant to be a chance encounter.
your friend walks up to you with a furrowed brow, “you’re seriously going to just let her leave?”
you can see the subtle hint of frustration on her face, the wild gesturing in wanda’s direction making it evident she wasn’t happy that you let her leave.
shrugging softly, “i’m sure she’s got better things to do.”
your voice is soft as you stare at wanda speaking with a group of people. she’s got an effortless grace and charm to her, something you don’t have.
following your friend to the exit, you try to push back the thought of wanda and the ‘what if.’
but the memories of her lingering touches, the laughs at your jokes, her soft smiles are now engraved into your mind. you don’t expect to see her again, but a part of you so desperately wishes you could.
a/n: hi all! i hope yall are good! i wrote this a little bit after the first part came out. i love angst! unsure if i want a third part. also, if you don’t like this literally don’t tell me because im sensitive and cry easily
minors do not interact
“i assumed you would’ve confessed to wanda by now” natasha says as she fixes a pile of papers on your desk, “you know, since you’re head over heels for her”
nat smirks as you give her the side eye and roll your eyes, you swivel your chair towards her.
“i’m not head over heels for her. i’m ju-“
“stupid?”
narrowing your eyes and tilting your head to the side, “okay, no”
meeting natasha was by far one of the greatest strokes of luck in your life. sure, she could be blunt at times— but when it comes down to it, she tells you what you need to hear.
unfortunately, this was also one of those times.
she has constantly insisted on the idea that you need to muster up the courage to tell wanda about your feelings for her. she always says that she believes wanda feels the same towards you, but your insecurities and doubt always get in the way.
except this would actually be the second time you confess, not the first. not that you even are aware of that fact.
you don’t really recall the first time you told wanda how you felt about her. you were drunk at a party, and only wanda has a clear memory of it. however, out of respect for you and your ability to get embarrassed quickly, wanda never brought it up again.
“i just feel like it’s a losing game, you know?” you say softly, rubbing your temples, “i always thought that if one of us were to tell the other if we caught feelings, it would be her. she’s always been more upfront with her emotions than i have. i think she really only sees me as what we’d agreed upon, nat. what if im just a way for her to pass time?
you pout softly, your emotions now coming forth in front of your long time friend and colleague.
“i just feel like she treats me like a girlfriend some days, and other days it’s just,” you take in a deep breath and groan out of frustration, “other days she tells me about a girl she saw, or someone she matched with on a dating app. do you know what i mean? i get mixed signals sometimes”
nat looks at you with a sympathetic look on her face, biting her lip slightly to keep from saying anything she really shouldn’t.
truth is, nat always had an feeling that you two would end up together one way or another, she’s always rooted for you two. the only way that could happen is if the two of you get your head out of your asses. in fact, she’d tried to get wanda to come forth about her own feelings.
however, wanda was dating someone at the time of said conversation— and out of respect for her then partner, wanda kept her quiet and buried her feelings deep inside. timing has never been on your side, will it ever?
“i don’t know if there’s anything i can say to get you to tell her, but,” she raises her eyebrows and makes her voice firm to try to emphasize her point, “all i can say is that wanda is a beautiful girl who’s got brains and a personality on her. she won’t be around forever. you know you won’t forgive yourself if you don’t at least try with her”
there it is, the brutal truth you knew that natasha was going to throw at you— and what sucks the most is the fact that it’s exactly what you needed to hear.
wanda has had to call off your agreement on a few occasions because she’d gotten serious with two girls; and each time it’d left you sobbing in natasha’s arms in her apartment because you couldn’t fathom the thought of wanda with another girl.
with a soft nod, “how should i even do that? or when?”
natasha begins another one of her long speeches about how you could be losing the person who could be the one, emphasizing how you’d be the one at fault if you let her get away.
on the drive home, you can’t help but replay natasha’s words in your mind, you aren’t sure why they they’re resonating this specific time.
“don’t wait too long, you know. you never know who could come along and sweep her off her feet. that’ll be the last time you have wanda like how you have her now”
those specific words echo in your head as you get home, unsure why they’re weighing heavy on your chest this time.
sighing softly, “come on, baby, i need to get you home,” wanda says as she guides you to her car with her hand guiding you by the lower back. she had your purse and coat in her other hand, ensuring she’d grabbed everything you’d brought with you.
you two were finally at the end of the road, officially a month from graduating college and decided to attend one last party together before you were thrown into the deep end of adulthood.
you had a few too many to drink that night and wanda knew by the fourth drink and the way you couldn’t keep your hands off of her, she had to get you home safely before you ran off somewhere as soon as she took her eyes off of you.
you reached for the handle of the car door before having your hand gently smacked away.
“you know better than that,” she started softly before opening the door for you and allowing you to get comfortable in her passenger seat. wanda knew you hated having your heels on in the car, so she crouched down to remove them before giving you a quick kiss to the cheek.
wanda pulls back gently to look at your face, your glazed eyes looking back at her with a look of.. adoration?
she smiles softly and places a gentle hand on the side of your face, “you’re beautiful”
rolling your eyes and trying to hide your blush, you giggle and nudge her shoulder in a playful manner.
wanda chuckles at how you’re easy to fluster with just two words. placing another small kiss to your cheek, she closes the passenger door.
you watched as she rounded the car and get into the drivers seat with low lidded glazed eyes, a small crooked smile on your face as you watch her. the maroon mid length dress she wore was nothing short of elegant. her curled dark hair and light makeup enhanced her features so beautifully that you feared you’d somehow spill your guts to her if she made one more right move.
but you couldn’t. wanda was seeing someone— granted, it wasn’t serious nor do you think they’d even slept together, but you were terrified of being that girl.
in fact, you were too. you had been seeing maria from your public policy course for the past two months but you could never bring yourself to feel for her what you so deeply felt for wanda. you two had a mutual break up a few days later.
wanda enters the car and shrugs off her coat, her arm muscles now showing even more with the street light illuminating the inside of the car in a specific way. she fixes her hair and puts on her seat belt before she looks over at you with concern.
“you okay, bub? what’s wrong?” wanda asks softly, placing a gentle hand on your thigh as she furrows her eyebrows at your distant far off look.
wanda had no idea what was going through your head, not a single clue as to what was about to come out of your lips.
“do you ever think meant to be together? or are we just destined to be some sort of parallel line that run close but never touch”
a flicker of panic come over wanda’s face and her gentle caress on your thigh stops abruptly.
the air in the car now feels heavier, as if the spoken words have broken the ‘casual-ness’ of your spoken agreement.
wanda always hoped you two would speak about this, but when you were sober and coherent.
it came out of your lips so naturally, as if you’d said it before.
like this has been weighing heavily on your mind for a while.
wanda’s heart clenched, especially at the fact that she had finally realized that you’d been wondering about the same thing she had for years.
“i-“
wanda was completely and utterly dumbfounded for the first time when it came to you. she often, no— not often, always had an idea of what would come out of your mouth.
she often found herself staring at you when you’d speak to your friends from across the room. she’d smile at how animatedly you’d react to people words and how you’d cover your mouth as you’d giggle at a joke someone said. she could easily pride herself in the fact that she knew you.
but this, what you’d just said, had her tongue tied.
she wished you were sober. she wished you were sober so she could confess that she’d been in love with you for so long, before you two even agreed to get into bed with each other. that ever since you two were nineteen during your first year of college, she couldn’t stop thinking of you in a way that friends shouldn’t think of each other in.
but you were drunk.
you were seeing someone and so was she.
so she made the hard decision to keep her silence and take you home safely, without any casualties.
“you’re drunk,” she says sadly, her eyes showing every ounce of emotion going in through her head, “let’s save this for another day”
that day never came.
walking through the door of wanda’s apartment to get into the party wanda said she’d throw you, you’re instantly greeted with a bunch of your closest friends and a few extra guests who happened to be their plus ones.
immediately, you found yourself scanning the room and smiling at the people who were in the space. you could hear chatter and laughter, warming your heart knowing that it all came from the people you knew and loved.
with soft music in the background and the smell of wanda’s cooking, you feel immediately at ease with the atmosphere of the party.
you walk in and are greeted by your friends wishing you a happy birthday. after thanking them and giving them hugs, you find yourself by the drink table to try and loosen up.
wanda was considerate enough, as always, to ensure that the people who were invited to the party were people you could actually stand to hold a conversation with unlike other parties where you had to endure endless small chat that rotted at your brain.
speaking of wanda, you’d yet to see her even though this is her apartment. you try your best to subtly look around the room for any sight of the girl who takes up space in your mind every day.
scanning the room, you look for the dark haired girl but come up short. pouring softly, you take another sip of your drink and go to find natasha who has a look of amusement on her face as she watches you search for wanda.
“how nice of you to finally make it to your own birthday party,” she teases, “you look nice. is this the dress wanda bought you?”
it was. in fact, you’d never been a fan of dressing too girly until wanda coaxed you into letting her buy you a dress, and this one happened to be the most recent one she’s bought you.
she was always a fan of how baby blue looked on you. she liked it so much on you that she took it upon herself to buy you another two dresses, each could be used for different events.
this specific dress fell just below mid thigh and you paired it with a simple pair of white heels. you kept your makeup natural and did your hair, subconsciously styling yourself the way you know wanda would compliment. i mean, she is the one who bought you this dress and threw you this party.
what are friends with benefits for if not that?
trying to hide a small blush at natasha’s words, you nod softly and try to look away to avoid her incessant teasing.
she laughs softly and nudges your shoulder, “i haven’t seen her”
you turn back to her with a furrow of your brows and try to act like you don’t know what she’s talking about.
“your girlfriend,” she says in a monotone voice, as if it’s obvious who she’s talking about.
a small pout forms on your lips as you realize that no one’s seen wanda. everything seemed to be flowing smoothly and it didn’t seem like she needed to go out to get anything for the party, so where could she be?
turning back to natasha and excusing yourself to go grab a quick snack from the kitchen, you turn on your heel to grab a quick breather before having to go back out and socialize all night.
while at the table, you feel a presence right next to you, staring. agatha.
“well, well,” she begins in that tone of hers, “it seems like your girlfriend isn’t yours anymore, huh? is that why you’re all alone?”
you quickly whip your head towards her. not yours anymore? your body feels like it’s gone cold and you can’t pry your eyes away from agatha, almost trying to urge her to say something else, to continue on with what she just started.
“what do you mean?”
agathas’s smirk widens as she realizes shes hit a nerve.
“well, she’s not glued to you like usual. no cozying up, no fetching you whatever you need, having you on her lap. i mean, what do you mean what do i mean?”
patience wearing thin and not wanting to deal with agatha beating around the bush, you step closer to her with a firm look on your face, “where is wanda? who’s she with?”
agatha is caught off guard by your sudden jealous and angry demeanor, she drops the act.
tilting her head towards the crowd, and giving you a look of pity, “sorry, babe. last i saw her she was cozying up with a girl with a green dress. you took to long to get your girl.”
your blood runs cold for the umpteenth time in just the past twenty minutes. it’s almost like your body knew this was coming but your brain didn’t. had you just lost wanda? was it for good this time?
you turn your head to look for natasha in the living room, she’s already looking at you with a look of pity. she nods her head to the opposite side of the living room, gesturing towhere wanda is with a dark haired girl.
a knot twists inside of your chest and it feels like the air has been knocked out of you. it’s like a movie you hate but can’t tear your eyes away from. wanda looks beautiful, happy.
and you hate it.
the two look comfortable together, sitting too close for your liking. wanda’s left leg is over her right and the girl has her hand placed on her thigh.
wanda’s looking at her with a look you believed was only meant for you. the softly smile on her face and the way her eyes drift down to the girls lips makes you sick.
they’re well into a conversation and you can see how wanda is laughing at her jokes, placing her hand on the girl’s forearm as she throws her head back in a fit of laughter.
it seems all too natural and intimate.
every interaction you watch them share feels like a blow to the stomach, the air feeling like it’s being knocked out of you again.
in this moment, you slowly begin to realize that wanda was never yours. every shared moment that you two shared together, every kiss and caress, was just a way to pass the time.
you feel nauseous.
you excuse yourself from agatha and quickly find a way to wanda’s patio, where it’s vacant and you can hide for a while out here.
wanda’s apartment had a beautiful view of the city. you two often sat outside together and cuddled with a blanket and a cup of coffee after work often. you found comfort in wanda, even if you were unsure of what you two were.
she worked hard for everything she had in life and it was something you truly admired about her. she didn’t have the easiest upbringing and the fact that she still remains soft after it all and continued to be a beautiful is something you love about her.
replaying the conversation with both natasha and agatha, you can’t help but feel like a complete idiot as you realize how everything almost felt as if it was foreshadowing to this very moment.
you hear the door to the patio open but don’t turn back, you already know who it is.
familiar soft footsteps stop right next to you and you immediately smell her perfume. it’s the same one you gave her a few years ago and for the first time, it makes you sick.
“you’re wearing the dress,” amusement in her voice as she looks at the city with you, “and you look beautiful”
you smile softly but don’t engage in conversation, just acknowledging her compliment. wanda frowns softly at your lack of attention, not used to you immediately turning around and throwing back a flirt remark at her.
watching you from the side of her eye, she can tell just by your body language that something is bothering you.
you two stand at the patio railing for another few minutes, just in each others presence, until she decides to point out the elephant in the room.
“are you okay?” she asks, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder.
wanda’s concern warms your heart, but you know it’s just meant to be in a friendly way. the way she always looks out for you always tugs on your heart strings.
you want to get angry with her. you want to yell and scream at her to get the hell away from you. ask her why she would string you along with pretty words and gentle gestures that screamed ‘i love you.’
but you can’t.
because at the end of the day, somehow you always find yourself back in wanda’s arms and you could never tell her you hate her. it just isn’t true. it couldn’t ever be true.
forcing the emotion down your throat, you force yourself to tell her you’re okay. forcing a smile as you look at her, you try to fake it.
but wanda knows you.
“bub,” with a soft voice, “what’s wrong?”
there it is. she knows exactly what to say, how to say it, and how to get her way.
“i just,” a deep breath, “i didn’t know you’d be bringing a date to the party.”
wanda’s face falters and she doesn’t know what to say. the girl back there was not at all her date, nor could she even fathom the idea of bringing another girl when today was supposed to be about you.
she dismissively waves a hand in front of her as she looks away, almost trying to deflect and avoid the topic, but she sees the way you’re trying to hide your hurt at the whole situation.
she begins picking at her finger nails, a nervous habit you’ve tried to help her stop. trying to figure out what to say, she stares at the ground. the last thing she’d ever want to do it hurt you, and yet here she was.
“she’s,” a slight moment of hesitation “she’s not my date. she just..”
her voice falters and she doesn’t know how to carry on so she just sighs and looks at you with an apologetic look.
wanda looks beautiful. i mean, how could she not? she’s wearing the outfit you love so much. the black pants and white top that you’ve always said makes her look sophisticated. you two always laugh at that, especially since the thought of you two now looking and acting like fully fledged adults is something that neither of you could never wrap your heads around.
“she’s just someone i’m talking to for the night, i swear” wanda fidgets uncomfortably, unsure of how to navigate this conversation. she’s never seen this side of you, the way your hidden jealousy wants to boil over.
you give her a sad smile and just shake your head, silently telling her she doesn’t have to continue. placing your hands over hers, you hold onto them tightly and bring them up to your lips to place a soft kiss against her knuckles.
“thank you for the party, wands”
wanda panics immediately, the way you said that felt like it had some sense of finality to it. anxiety fills her chest and she feels like her legs could give out at any minute. she tries to say something, anything, to get you to stay with her.
but she’s caught off guard and she doesn’t have anything on the tip of her tongue, except for the three words she’s wanted to say for so long.
giving her a hug, you hold her tightly and allow yourself to feel her touch one last time. you want to tell her you love her, tell her everything that you’ve been meaning to say.
but you fall short, like on every occasion you’ve wanted to confess.
you give her a kiss on the cheek and hold her waist as you pull back, smiling softly at her.
in this moment, you fully understand what natasha meant by telling you, “if you’re not going to tell her how much she means to you and you love her, you need to let her go. you know she deserves that much.”
wanda tries to hold onto you tightly, as if you’ll float away if she even let go for a fraction of a second. her heart was racing and she was on the verge of tears.
you release wanda as you take a step back, looking at her face and trying to take in as much of her as possible knowing this very well may be the last time you see her.
a/n: here is the last installment of my first story, breakfast birthday goodbye! thank you all so much for the support you’ve shown the first two parts as well as the hc’s! it means the world to meeeeeee i love u guys soooo much!
minors do not interact
wanda never meant for everything to go down the way it did. scratch that, she never wanted any of this to happen. the ignored calls, the short texts, you avoiding her at your group’s weekly dinner.
she didn’t want that at all, and it was eating at her insides knowing that you are out there somewhere thinking that she wanted nothing to do with you, that she wasn’t serious about you.
it was the exact opposite, actually. you never leave her mind and she often finds herself texting you with random updates throughout her day just so she can end up calling you and hearing about whatever you have to say.
but now it’s been a week since the party and you’ve yet to actually have a full conversation with her. you don’t text her, only replying to her with a short and simple response when she sends you a message first.
she’s lost countless hours of sleep and finds it hard to make herself eat normal meals. the bags under her eyes have darkened and she’s become a hollow shell of herself, one she can’t even recognize in the mirror. everyone’s noticed it too, and it’s getting hard to ignore.
wanda prides herself on her incredible work ethic and her ability to do her job well beyond expectations, but for the past week even her team at work has noticed that she’s been off her a-game.
wanda hasn’t slept, and you could tell. she’s avoided every every attempt to rest or eat. only throwing herself into her work, which was futile because in the back of her mind was you. the ache of losing you and know you were out there hating her.
it’s gotten to the point where her boss has offered her to take the rest of the week off to recuperate over whatever happened that pushed her down. bad thing is, wanda said no and now she’s stuck thinking about you at her desk.
she turned down the offer, ignoring how badly her body is begging her to take the rest. work is the only thing keeping her mind off of you— or at least trying to.
she can’t get the look on your face out of her mind. the look at showed everything. the way your body looks exhausted, as if it had been fighting. worst of all, she saw every ounce of hurt in your eyes— it confirmed everything.
the look in your eyes, the hurt in your voice, the way you avoided her for the rest of the night at the party.
that’s how she knew you loved her back. and that was meant to be your final act of love— leaving her.
but wanda wouldn’t accept that.
wanda thinks of her future often. how she wants to open up her own firm, how she wants to have a decent sized house— no more than twenty minutes away from the city, the amount of kids she wants to have, you, you, you.
in every different imaginable scenario she’s imagined for herself, in every different future she’s envisioned, you’re always there. there’s no version of herself she can imagine without you.
which is why she’s suddenly found herself outside of your house in the middle of a thunderstorm at 8 at night.
she knew this was inappropriate and a setup for failure but she couldn’t go another hour not at least trying. she’s gone too many days with her anxiety eating away at her.
she knew that you loved her— hell, you basically confessed it to her the night you were drunk in her car. it’s been so long since then and she’s had to watch you date other people despite having confessed your true feelings.
so, logically, wanda had to force herself to ignore the confession and start to date other people as well.
but wanda knew they could never be you. no matter how hard she tried to make herself like the other girls, she always wished it was you she was holding at night— not them
as wanda stood outside your gate, she couldn’t help but recall when she went to go see you at work after you broke up with a fling.
and unfortunately for wanda, this was after you confessed. she had to sit there and console your crying eyes all while knowing the both of you had reciprocating feelings for the other.
wanda parked her car a few spots away from the main entrance and fixed her appearance before grabbing the takeout food she had brought for the two of you to share.
she sat in her car for a few minutes, trying to focus on her breathing and calming the nerves in her body. trying to rehearse things to say to say to you in front of her mirror, she looks over her appearance and fixes her makeup slightly.
i mean, what is she supposed to say to the girl she’s in love with who just broke up with someone she was dating? yay, now let’s get together? no. wanda had to be a supportive friend— no matter how badly she ached for more.
getting out of her car, she slowly walks up to the main entrance. as she walks in, she’s hit with the familiar smell of the air freshener the company uses and it gives her a small boost of confidence.
stopping to say hi to natasha before going into your office, she greets her.
“hey nat,” wanda says softly while peering into natasha’s office.
both wanda and natasha were familiar with each other through you and had no issue having conversations without your company, they were comfortable with each other.
natasha looks up from her work and up to wanda, a slight surprised smile on her face. she had a feeling wanda would show up for you, just unsure of when.
“hey,” she replies, “she’s in her office. she could really use the pick me up.”
wanda nods in understanding, “i know, she’s been down recently. brought her some food in case she needed it.”
natasha smirks softly and whispers lowly, “if you’re going to continue being a girlfriend to her, you need to make it official before somebody else does.”
wanda freezes. did natasha know about you two? surely you wouldn’t tell her anything, but why else would she say that?
wanda gives an awkward chuckle and walks off in the direction of your office, replaying natasha’s words and how she had a knowing look on her face as she said that.
slowly peering into your office, she knocks softly, “hey, pretty girl”
looking away from your desktop, you see wanda dressed in your college t-shirt and a pair of jeans while holding a takeout box from one of your favorite restaurants.
your heart swoons at the pet name, as well as the smile on her face. this isn’t the first time wanda’s shown up to your job unannounced. in fact, she does this at least a few times out of the month.
she insisted that it was her biggest priority to make sure you were taken care of.
she walks over to your desk and gives you a small kiss on the forehead and a rub on the back.
“you feeling okay?” wanda’s voice is laced with concern and love. it filled your stomach with butterflies.
truth is, you were actually feeling content after the break up. you constantly felt a weight on your chest while you were in that relationship. really, you could hardly call it a relationship. it lasted less than a month and you were happy it was over.
everytime you two went out, you always thought about how wanda would be acting if if was her you went out with instead. no matter what, you always had her in the back of your mind and you felt guilty for it.
shrugging softly, you lean into wanda’s side, enjoying how she’s giving you this soft attention. you really should be honest with her and tell her you’re fine but the fact that she’s being so sweet and attentive, it really makes you want to play into this facade just so she can continue being sweet to you. wanda tightened her hold on you and cooed softly.
wanda knew though. normally when you’re down and out of it, you hardly ever do your makeup. the way you speak is a bit more dragged out, the way you even look at her is different when you’re down.
wanda knew you were okay the second she got close to you, but how could she pass up an opportunity like this to hold you? she would take any excuse to touch you and make you feel happy. she knew she was in love with you, has known it for quite some time now. however, acting on it is a whole other story.
“i got you some food,” wanda runs her fingers through your hair softly, “i want to make sure you eat.”
wanda watches you as you nod softly and look up at her with a happy look on your face. yeah, she’s in love with you. no doubt about it.
you can’t help but immediately let out a soft giggle as you see how she looks at you. you two have known each other for years and she never fails to make you feel cared for.
what would it be like if you two stopped dancing around your feelings for each other?
wanda pulls out the food and you can’t help but swoon all over again. wanda knew your order, down to what you want put on the side instead of in the dish, even the sauces and other condiments. no one has ever known you like this.
the two of you ate for the next hour and a half. you asked her how work was going, her brother, what she’s doing for the holidays. the rest of the world ceased to exist for that hour and a half, and it didn’t feel like a lunch break. it felt like something you could get used to doing at home together.
the two of you existed in each others presence for that lunch break. maybe that was when you realized you truly were in love with her. or maybe it was an accumulation of things, but after that day you knew for a fact that wanda could be the one for you.
wanda walked slowly to your front door, her feet feeling heavy. she could hear her heartbeat, she could feel the blood moving around in her body. hell, she swears she can even feel her white blood cells. for the first time since she’s known you, she was terrified of speaking to you.
the rain soaked through her clothes and clung to her body. her usual soft brown hair was now black and matted with all of the rain water in it. she was freezing, but she didn’t care. each drop that fell onto her body only served as a reminder of all the things she’d never said to you.
every instinct in her was telling her to turn around and bolt, to run and not look back.
but the rational side of her told her that it was now or never. this was her last chance. if she ran, she’d never see you again.
she knew that the longer you two went without talking, the more likely it is that you’ll shut down and block out every memory with wanda from your mind. she knew that she needed to talk to you— and it had to be now.
before getting to your house, she stopped by a near by store to get you flowers. this wasn’t the first time she’d done so. in fact, the florist practically knew all about her love for you since it was all wanda could talk about when she went to go pick up your customized bouquet.
this time, however, it was terrifying knowing that there was a chance that this could be the last time she’d be giving you flowers. she knew you were stubborn and once you sat in your thoughts for too long, there was no way of getting you to turn back on it.
had wanda waited too long to speak to you? are you going to turn her away once she gets to your front door? is this going to be the last time she would see you again?
wanda stands in front of your door way, looking disheveled and drenched in rain. the roses she bought for you look worse for wear, but she couldn’t imagine coming to you empty handed. she needed to have something in her hand to help calm her nerves at least.
by the time she’d reached your door, she was shaking. but not out of cold, out of fear and desperation.
knocking on your door, wanda’s heartbeat quickens and for a split second she considers bolting and never coming back.
but the door opens.
and there you are, and somehow in the midst of all the chaos between you two, wanda thinks you look as beautiful as ever.
you look at wanda with an incredulous look, almost telling yourself you’re imagining her here at your doorstep.
you start, “wanda, i don’t think th-“
“no,” wanda says sharply, almost too firm and pushes past you and into your house. her breathing is shallow. it wasn’t from the rain though, it was from the years of unspoken truths, missed opportunities. she needed it out in the air.
wanda’s tone and demeanor momentarily stun you. she has always bent on anything you say and rarely interrupted you when you spoke.
after slowly closing the door behind her, you follow her further into your house. your heart is beating and you can’t help that worry she may get sick being drenched in all the rain.
wanda now is in the middle of your living pacing from one end of the room to the other, clutching drenched and withered red roses in her hands. she looks like she’s on the verge of passing out and you’re immediately worried that she very well could drop on your floor.
“wanda, i think you need to sit down.. let be get you a towel,” you say softly while waking towards her slowly, like she was a cat that could run off at any second.
“no,” she says quickly, now stopping and facing you, “you don’t get to kick me out or walk away this time. you can’t shut me out, not after everything. i know i hurt you— us, but i can’t just walk away without telling you everything.”
wanda rushes her words out, but not faltering once in her firm presence. her voice is laced with desperation and you can literally see her hands shaking.
you can hear a small waver in her voice, one youre not used to. wanda’s body language screams terrified and anxious, but her eyes scream with something much louder: resolve.
you can’t help try to hold back a smile at how you can see the emotion in her eyes. wanda’s eyes speak so much louder than her voice could ever, and you have always loved it so much. it’s how you two could communicate with one another from across the room.
you stand silent and nod, unsure of what to do.
“i understand how it looked. at the party, i mean. the girl there wasn’t anyone i knew, or even want to get to know for that matter. it was just a way to help me pass the time at the party, no matter how nasty that sounds,” wanda begins rambling and you can slowly see the confidence wear off. she pinches the bridge of her nose. this was already off to a bad start.
she had practiced this so many times over the past three hours and none of it was coming out how she wanted it to.
“she wasn’t you,” her voice breaks softly and her words make you freeze.
your heart beat quickens. what does she mean? maybe she’s just trying to make nice and keep the agreement going, it can’t mean that you think it means.
you try to interrupt her, “wanda-“
“i said let me ta-“
you raise your voice and look at her pointedly, “you are in my home and i will speak if i choose.”
wanda feels like a child being scolded.
with a soft and gentle voice, you apologize, “that night, my birthday. seeing you with that girl made me realize we’ve had this whole friends with benefits thing go on too long. it’s gotten in the way of our personal lives and for the sake of our future partners, we need to cut it off.”
you force it out, not sounding confident at all. although you had put much thought into it, it pained you to say it aloud to her. to watch her face drop, to actually see how your words affected her.
tears well in wanda’s eyes, spilling over with a soft, heartbroken cry. this wasn’t what she came here for. she didn’t come here so you could shut her down before even trying to tell you she loved you.
shaking her head and clearing her throat, wanda walks closer to you.
“you don’t get to cut this off without at least having a proper conversation with me,” wanda chokes out through sobs, wiping her tears angrily, “you can’t just throw me away like that.. please”
the silence between the two of you causes the atmosphere in the room to thicken.
hearing her pleading voice, the way she’s gripping onto your shoulders tightly as it’s the last time she’ll touch or see you again— you can’t help but try to fight tears.
in fact, it very well may be the last.
you shake your head, you had thought this over and realized that if wanda didn’t reciprocate the same feelings for you— it’s best if you let her go.
it had become a never ending cycle of stringing you along with no end in sight.
but if it meant nothing to wanda, why would she be here begging and crying for you?
haphazardly, you throw caution to the wind and decide that if this is the last night you’ll see wanda, you may as well lay it all on the table.
you pull away from wanda, raising your voice slightly, “do you have any idea what it took for me to finally accept that this, us, would be a never ending cycle? that it’s only a game of almost? i can’t keep waiting for you, for someone who’s just going to treat me like a place holder for another girl who won’t even last a month and a half?!”
you swallow tears and try your best to sound as firm as possible, “i sat around for all this time just watching you be with other people. giving them the affection i so badly wish you would reserve only for me.”
wanda’s eyebrows furrow at your insinuation that she only every treated you like a pit stop.
anger builds inside and she can’t help but scoff, “are you fucking kidding me? i treated you like a place holder? there’s no way you’re being serious right now.”
her scoff and rough voice cause you to turn back on your heel, defensiveness and frustration seeping through your veins.
“yeah, a goddamn pit stop, wanda. you came around, got me fucking wrapped around your finger and made me fa-,” you almost said it, “you had me wrapped around your finger. i was always there when you called, like a damn fool!”
wanda couldn’t believe what she was hearing. you were acting like she was some kind of person who viewed you as a fool. she was helplessly in love with you, and this is what you saw her as.
running a hand through her hair in hopes of helping herself calm down, she exclaims, “do you really think this was one sided?! i had to watch you date other people too! i wasn’t the only one who dated! after that time you got drunk and i had to take care of you, i couldn’t stop thinking about you saying you wished we could be more! and then i had to carry on with my life like you hadn’t told me you wanted something more with me.”
wanda swallows hard before the words spill out—the night you told her you wanted more. she never wanted to tell you about that night, for fear of running you off.
it was now or never, she had to tell you.
you freeze, what night is she talking about? the weight of her words finally hit you, and it feels like the world has shifted. you search her face, like the answer you’re searching for is written on her forehead.
wanda sighs and rubs her face, “i’m sorry. you got drunk a while back and told me you wanted more. i never told you because i knew it would send you running off, and i couldn’t bare the thought of losing you. it was better to have you like this, no matter how much it hurt, than to not have you at all.”
the rain seemed to be the only sound in the house. the soft thuds of the branches outside hitting the side of the roof are all you two can hear. you stare at each other, for the first time with uncertainty as to what’s next for you two.
wanda walks slowly closer, stopping a few feet in front of you, “do you really think i wanted this to be one sided? i thought that by holding back and keeping my feelings to myself, it was the only way i’d still be able to have you in my life.”
you stare at her as you slowly understand what she’s trying to say. she loved you back.
“i never wanted you to feel that way,” barely above a whisper, “and i’m so sorry that i made you feel that way. it was never my intention to make you feel like you were anything other than my first priority. i only every wanted you, only you. i found myself looking for you in every person i met because i was afraid that if i told you i loved you, you’d run away. if having you meant keeping my feelings to myself, i would make that sacrifice because i couldn’t fathom the thought of you. no longer being in my life.”
you stay silent, her words echoing in your head. wanda loved you back? you can see her hands shaking and the insecurity in her eyes. her hands are shaking and the petals on the roses are falling off slowly with the weight of the water droplets on them.
following your eyes, wanda remembers she got you roses.
she speaks softly, almost afraid to speak to you, “i brought you these. i’m sorry they’re not that pretty, they got kind of messed up with the rain and me squeezing them so tight.”
wanda speaks nervously, shyly and you can’t help but frown at her demeanor. she’s no longer the confident person you know. right now she looks like an insecure woman who’s been rejected by someone she’s been in love with for years.
you gently reach out for the flowers, still shocked by the revelation wanda’s revealed to you in the matter of fifteen minutes.
you hardly register that she’s leaving your home with a new weight on her chest and an empty feeling in her heart.
wanda took your silence as the final answer she’d been dreading. rejection. wanda thinks you don’t love her back. the silence in the room weighed on her like a death sentence and she was forced to walk away— heartbroken and alone.
the sound of her car door being shut pulls you out of your stupor and you realize what this means— what wanda’s departure means.
this can’t be the end.
with adrenaline coursing through you, you throw the door open. you rush out of your house and just before she leaves your drive way, you call out for her.
wanda, as if hoping you’d chase her, drives her car back into your drive way and parks. wanda looks anywhere but you, as if afraid the next thing you’ll tell her is to never come back. her hands grip at her steering wheel tight enough to the point her knuckles turned white. she’s terrified.
stepping outside of her car, she walks up to you. her hands are shaking and you can see that her eyes are red rimmed from all the crying she’s done tonight.
your voice is hoarse from the yelling and crying as well, “i’m sorry. i’m sorry it took this long to tell you and im sorry for accusing you of treating me like nothing. wanda, i love you too— i always have. i was terrified of you not feeling the same way so i forced myself to ignore it. i was wrong, i was wrong about everything.”
wanda’s breath stops and her eyes well up with tears again, “please don’t lie to me just for the sake of my emotions.”
you shake your head insistently, “i’m being honest, i swear on everything i love. i love you, i have for a while. i was just scared and i didn’t know you felt the same way.”
“you love me?” wanda’s voice is shaking and she can’t tell if she’s dreaming or already getting sick from standing in the rain for too long.
nodding with a nervous smile, you don’t care about the rain soaking your clothes or the lighting in the sky. all that matters is that you tell wanda how you feel. before time runs out and you lose her for good.
wanda inhales sharply, a look of relief washing over and she lets out a soft laugh. a trembling hand cautiously reaches for your face as her eyes flooded with relief.
“i was scared,” she says through a wet laugh, “i thought that you would run if i told you i was in love with you.. but if you’ll let me, i swear i won’t ever make you feel like a second priority again. you’ve always been the most important thing in my life and i never want you to feel like anything else.”
her words hit you like a rush of warmth, contrasting against the cold rain surrounding you two. you smile widely, your heart overjoyed with the fact that wanda did love you as you did her.
you laugh— a genuine laugh, and before she can get another word out, you pull her into you. you couldn’t waste another second before connecting your lips.
when you two meet, it’s like everything clicked. all the chaos, all the flings, every person annoying you two about getting together, it meant nothing now that you two expressed what you’d been hiding.
you rest your forehead against wanda’s and whisper softly, “we’ve got a lot to figure out now, but this means we’ll do it together.”
wanda nods with a small smile as she looks at you, “yeah, together.”
as you two stand there, both laughing at the dramatics of it all, you can’t help but let out a sigh of relief, one you’ve held for years. wanda was finally yours and you knew then and there that all of the missed opportunities and lack of truths only led you to her.
ignoring the messiness and the lack of perfection, it was real.
summary: after another night together, it’s hard to tell if wanda sees something past this agreement with you.
a/n: this is the first thing i’ve written in the longest time so im actually super nervous to even put this out. but y oh well?. if u guys don’t like it literally don’t tell me because i’m sensitive and will cry.
edit: pt 2
minors do not interact
“have you thought about what you want to do yet?” wanda asks, rolling to the other side of the bed to retrieve her phone from her night stand, the blanket slipping enough to show her bare back.
a small groan of frustration escapes your throat as you throw a pillow at her face from right next to her, “can you shut up about a plan? i really don’t see a point in doing anything for my birthday. i mean, the last time we went out, aggie almost sold us out”
wanda has always been a step ahead of you, in every way, shape, and form. when you have girls’ nights with your friend group, she knows exactly what you’ll order, the fact that you drink water right after a soda, how long it’ll take for you to get cold and steal her jacket (that she was never going to use and only brought for you)
maybe that’s the reason you fell for her, maybe that’s the reason you’ve been stuck in this endless cycle of being friends with benefits with her.
wanda scoffs and rolls her eyes, “why not? we used to always have count downs for your birthday when we were younger”
that’s true. when you two were still in college, the month leading up to your birthday would be filled with the two of you texting each other ‘two weeks!’ ‘four days!’ ‘tomorrow!’
with a sigh, you get up from the bed and redress yourself with wanda’s black button down and a pair of her pajama shorts.
wanda watches as you dress, playing with a loose thread on her comforter, admiring how you look in her clothes with a glint in her eyes that you can’t quite place.
or maybe you’re just too scared to think it means more than that.
“i don’t know,” you say with a small defeated sigh as you put your hair in a ponytail, “i think the whole ‘birthday joy and excitement’ wore off over time.”
wanda lets out a soft chuckle, propping herself up on an elbow while looking at you with a small smirk.
“jesus, you sound like an adult. when did that happen?”
letting out a small exhale of a laugh, “is that what we are?”
wanda smiles softly at you as you notice her chest is littered with small marks and a bite mark on her left collar bone, reminders of last night. the sunlight peeking through the shut curtains illuminates her face and shows off her green irises, the ends of her hair lighter than they were a few months ago.
she gets out of bed and throws on baggy black sweats and an old t-shirt she’s had since she was seventeen.
a small giggle leaves your lips as you see the shirt, the same deftones shirt you’d gifted to her that same birthday.
picking at her ‘just rolled out of bed’ appearance, “looking hot, wands”
wanda looks over at you, smirking as she passes by you to get to the kitchen and giving you two small but firm taps on your left cheek, “it’s what got you into my bed last night, isn’t it?”
a small blush covers your cheeks, your face now feeling hot after wanda’s flirty tease. taking a deep breath and trying to cover it up before you walk out into her apartments kitchen, you murmur to yourself, “jesus christ”
wanda moves skillfully around her kitchen as she cooks a simple breakfast, which she usually hates making since she’s not a breakfast person, but knowing you’ll have a busy day is the only reason she’s putting herself through the hassle.
“you know,” she begins with her back facing you as she plates the food, “celebrating you is probably one of the easiest things i’ve ever done”
your heart stops for a second. wanda’s not one to say romantic things like this. is this meant to be romantic? or is this wishful thinking?
“please let us celebrate?” almost in a pleading tone, almost.
sighing softly with a small pout adorning her lips, “if you don’t want a party, at least let me take you out.. just us two”
the memory of the two of you at a party when you two were freshly engaged in this new agreement slowly creeps into your mind.
“you ready, bub?” wanda whispers into the crown of your head, giving you a soft forehead kiss as she cradles the side of your face.
the party’s atmosphere has slowly become one of your worst nightmares: sweaty bodies, terrible mixed drinks, and oddly placed furniture.
“please,” you say softly as you lean into her hold, “i wanna go home, i don’t like it here”
a soft chuckle escapes her lips, she knew you wouldn’t make it two hours at this party, but you needed to go out after being cramped inside during midterm season.
“whatever you want,” she replies with a smile. grabbing your hand softly, she leads you through the crowd towards the front door.
“where are you two lovebirds going?” a familiar voice asks as you make it two feet from the door, agatha.
lovebirds. is that what you two looked like? sure, the topic of putting a label on it hasn’t come up.. but then again, you two never go on dates.
unless you count the weekly rendezvous in wanda’s apartment dates.
“i’m taking her home,” wanda replies, moving you behind her slowly and away from agatha.
agatha smirks, placing her hand on her hip in an almost teasing way, “taking her home, huh?”
wanda gives a pleading look to agatha, silently begging her to keep her silence.
agatha straightens up after rolling her eyes, but not before saying a quick quip about their not-so-secret friends with benefits dynamic.
“you’re no fun,” she mumbles under her breath and walks off.
wanda lets out a sigh of relief and guides you with a hand behind your back to her car.
with a small groan, you sit down and begin eating, avoiding her sentence.
you’re almost afraid of people seeing you like that again— clinging to someone who doesn’t see a future with you, just using you as a layover on the way to their real destination.
“please?”
with a roll of your eyes and a small smile, you reluctantly agree.
wanda’s eyes light up and a huge grin appears on her face, “thank you, bub. i’ll plan a party here for you with just our closest friends and then i’ll take you out the night after.”
bub. she hardly ever calls you that anymore, it’s almost like a blast from the past when it slips her lips.
it feels like your heart is physically aching at the sound of it, a reminder of how much simpler time used to be— before your feelings for her got too complicated.
as you two got older and life happened, it seemed as though the two of you stopped being so flirtatious and just saw each other as what you two had agreed on: friends with benefits.
that wasn’t at all what you wanted. in all honesty, the idea of wanda being romantic with another girl that wasn’t you made you sick to your core, it made your heart clench.
but part of you always had the lingering thought and feeling that wanda wanted something else, someone else.
after all, just because the two of you always found each other in bed often didn’t mean she didn’t date other people and have flings.
“you’re such a sweetheart,” you say softly as you continue with your eyes on your plate.
what you didn’t see was wanda trying to hide a smile and blush behind a fork full of food.
