#wt!kendra

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<- Part 2 || Epilogue

When little bro accidentally severely triggers himself trying to comfort big bro-

I mighhht add on a prologue (or two), but for the most part, this comic is pretty much wrapped up :)

And look at that, I even got to include an itty Donnie Flashback panel! -v-

Anyways, thanks for the support everyone! It wasn't a super long project, but your guys' enthusiasm really inspired me to actually finish <3

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*solomnly* Donnie…i know you know that Raph has been acting different. More happy. I know your happy for him too. He has a significant other. However! It isn't exactly someone you’d be…comfortable with being so close to him in such a sense.

Imma hold your hand when I say this…..

- Paranormal Anon

Haha, imagine your dum dum big brother secretly dating the nerdy chick you despise with a boiling rage—

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Good morning! Here, have some more references because this is all I accomplished last night—

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Nothing like being a hopeless romantic with Valentine’s Day just around the corner—

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I need Raph being insecure about his Krang half and doubting Kendra’s love for him because of it. (”how could she love a monster like me? I dont deserve her…”)

I need Raph accidentally harming Kendra when he has a panic attack or something.

I need Raph being afraid and certain that Kendra os gonna be scared of him because of it; hate him, be mad at him, cut ties with him. (Donnie is ready to attack Kendra if she breaks Raph’s heart.)

But Kendra isn't mad. She's only worried (and a bit shaken).

Im a sucker for angst 😭

(no pressure, Do whatever you want; this is your au and I have no say in it)

- Paranormal Anon

.

.

And this is why the turtles have to be careful what they watch for movie night. Dang those triggers.

I'm completely unashamed to admit that I just spent several hours working on this instead of working on anything else I was supposed to. Who woulda thought Kendrael angst would hold me in a death-grip?

I think timeline-wise this would happen some time after the next arc. I like how I tell myself I'll stop jumping ahead of where I'm at in the story, and then ideas like this get thrown at me from out of the blue and suddenly I'm incapable of thinking about anything else /pos

Aaand now it's time for rambles ->

What I really liked about this thought was that it allows me to show a side of Raph that he absolutely hates about himself.

Everyone has this side to them that they bury deep inside, never to see the light of day, and for big Red over here, it's his natural tendency to lean towards 'fight' in a fight-or-flight response.

Really, it has nothing to do with the Kraang and everything to do with the ninja training as a kid. He and his brothers were born with the intent to be soldiers, and while yes, Splinter did everything in his power to give them a wonderful childhood - and did a darn good job too might I add - learning how to defend yourself led the turtles to trust their abilities to fight.

Now you could say, "But DW, what about in the movie when Raph told them to retreat blah blah blah-" That was a specific situation that called for specific actions. If there had been any chance they could've won that fight and if Splinter hadn't been injured, I'm willing to bet Raphael wouldn't have called for a retreat.

My point is, these boys are fighters. They take on a problem head-on, and unfortunately, that natural tendency is center stage of Raph's trauma.

The Kraang turned him into a soldier, their personal pet that didn't hesitate to follow orders.

None of it was Raph's doing, none of it was even close to being his fault, but the thing that terrifies him the most is that he'll lose control and hurt the people he loves. Again.

That 'again' makes it even worse, because he knows he's capable of it. He knows he could kill them because he has before, there's no doubt about it in his mind. Yes, he's the sweetest most gentlest giant in the world, but that doesn't take away the fact that he's a mountain of battle-trained muscle and has the power of a freight train, if not more. So he does everything he can to keep that fighter inside of him under wraps at all times, refuses to even risk letting that side of him see a glimmer of the light of day.

But he's not perfect, and there are moments like the one above where he's so heavily triggered into that fight-or-flight response, he goes into a tunnel-vision and doesn't even realize what he's doing because at this point, it's instinctual for him to defend himself. It always has been.

And when he snaps out of it, that's when the fear takes him, that overwhelming guilt that feels like it'll swallow him up whole.

And poor Kendra! She knows that Raph and his brothers have been through a lot - Mikey's mentioned things here and there to the rest of the friend group - but seeing in person just how hard it was? Exactly what Raph's experiences have done to him?

It's really hard to see someone you love and care so deeply about going through something so unbelievably horrible.

But she knows a thing or two about guilt, the fear of hurting people again, and you better believe she's going to do everything in her power to show Raph that nothing, and I mean NOTHING, could ever push her away from him.

She will always love him, no matter what he looks like, what he's been through, what he does.

Guys, this is why I love them, agh, they're so precious-

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Hey DW! Just wondering out of curiosity, how come you made Kendra's hair blue rather than the canon lavendery colour? It's a really nice change for the design

It’s a physical representation of her character development in Woven Ties!

Canonically, Kendra is portrayed as very self centered and egotistical. She’s willing to go to any lengths and sacrifice any ethics to further promote the Purple Dragons’ genius.

Changing her hair color to a more cyan, light blue is symbolic of the fact that she’s moved away from that. She wants to make up for the pain she’s caused in the past, and she wants to be a better person than what she once was, to move past the purple dragons into something people can look up to.

There’s also another reason why her hair color changed, which has to do partially with Raph but mostly with another character, Mona Lisa.

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What does Raph have to deal with with his new Kraang abilities post being free from their control?

There's a LOT I'm planning to dive into and explore with his kraang side, don't worry.

I have quite a few comic ideas focused around Raph's new abilities and limitations. There's one idea in particular that I'm especially excited to work on when the time comes, (though that might be because it involves a lot of traumas and things with all four brothers. . .)

But hopefully this little concept page in my sketchbook that I totally didn't stay up until 2am in the morning to make will satisfy you for the moment :)

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Ohmigosh they have invaded my brain, help XD

Why do I find them so freaking adorable??